Great job on the new chapter, very sweet!

For a bit of constructive criticism, it would have been nice to have a bit more time between the "my brothers are dead" to the "fuck me" part, but otherwise it was a great chapter.

8100374

Yeah... I know. I just felt like that was something he bottled up for a long time, it was one of the things that caused her to act the way she did.

I'll provide a little more context in the epilogue, I promise.

Hmm, I agree with Nero on his pacing comment.

Probably some of the more tasteful clop that I've read, filled more with emotion then the splattering of walls with thick liquid.

Prime giving up his chance to work with Rarity was indeed a sacrifice, though I also felt Coco might have been able to go to Ponyville as well, but that's a nitpick.

Good chapter, well worth the build up and an excellent payoff.

> It was a full minute and a half before she attempted to console me.

These time comments always bother me. Go set an alarm on your phone for ninety seconds. Wait it out. Then imagine a conversation just pausing for that long while nothing else is going on.