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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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People are probably not gonna be happy with the whole human to pony thing. But it was required, him being human would have caused a crisis among other species. An alicorn(or pony at the time of the idea) made it easier and safer for him to what he wanted. While having the support of equestrians on his side.
Anyways its a good chapter.
9187939
Thank you very much!
In both good and bad ways, the whole human to pony idea has been done to death for so many times, its become a bit of a stereotypical view (that I can see from where I stand) that anything that touches this area is immediately dismissed as bad. Some of them made more badly or done unnecessarily than others.
Though I do hope what I made revitalizes the use of this, and possibly gives authors bit more thought about keeping humans 'human' in a mlp world/society, maybe even write out a little more lore with either problems or fascinations with the race, since we've had actual canonical pokes that humans did have some sort of presence (that's not EQ).
In this, I used the minotaurs as a bit of a mirrored view that we've made and treated about their own mythos; Then with griffons, I mostly relied upon their own hostile nature.
I think it's arguable that him ponifying brings as much if not more attention to himself than just being human. I mean, male Alicorn. That especially has more of a culture shock than 'cool alien'. That being said, I'm not a fan of human-pony conversions, for the exact reason that the whole validation for is usually easily disputable. Not dropping the story, but not the biggest fan.
Also, I caught an error that is repeated. Whenever the Legion speaks, the colour is broken.
9188013
Woopsies, forgot to check for that, thank you.
And indeed, though remaining as human would still bring just as much attention, though within differing reactions with both in Equestria and outside of Equestria. And once again, its the general dislike and general opinion about the conversion that's easily shunned. It's possible that Pokémon Dungeon was what started this whole trend before Equestria Girls came along (Though I'm having some ideas that PD also had influence to EQ.)
9188089
It's this, recently in video game news, Isabelle from Animal Crossing was 'invited' so the sky's the limit to guess who's up next now.
9187967
Personally I'm rather okay with what you did. The other species see humans as monsters or Barbaric creatures of violence, and I'm ok with this. He chose the to change because humans in general were not good thing in the other species cultures and would have caused a lot problems.
Also I'm writing this down for my sake. Because I'm known to read while drunk and throw insults at anything drunk me dosen't approve of.
This is a nice change of pace from all the trash I've been going through. There just isn't many decently developed stories out there anymore, which cannot be said about this story. It is well organized and nothing feels too rushed, though it seems some things are glossed over too quickly. For one, how come Twilight did not know of Luna's banishment when Celestia has multiple personnel—both guards and maids—that keep watch over her and know about what happened during those times? How come Twilight never found any of Starswirl's journals? You have spent most of the story going on about how incompetent the guards are, and how rumors spread like wildfire. Ipso facto I would expect Twilight to overhear at least a few morsels of information from all the time she has spent with Celestia, and yet, the first encounter with Nightmare Moon goes the same way as the show... In the end, it seems slightly unrealistic.
That being said, this story is not bad, especially when you consider that the last couple of stories I read went straight into the Overly Stupid Fanfiction group folders.
Now, the only thing that needs to be said is: When do you plan to post a new chapter? I am eager to learn more about the world you created.
9241323
Thank you very much! While its sad that this is still not showing up on Featured, it's still something that stands out on its own as far as I've seen.
For the small and glossed over holes, I didn't cover them with much because I hadn't found much inspiration to completely fill in the canonical holes that Hasbro left behind. Another thing was that while I did want to keep to the main timeline, I want to show just how much of an impact a new character has when they interact with the Main Six and others who have actual weight in the series, especially when that new character has something that makes them stand out amongst many others in a significant way. Whereas when the main character of this story isn't involved in the slightest, the world turns as it was shown in canon, but the moment the MC starts appearing things start moving differently.
Now, I hadn't aimed for the guards to become utterly incompetent, as in during the two separate sparring sessions that Rising had with Shining Armor and one of the Night Guards that they are able to put up a fight, however I do want in the worldbuilding that having a more pacifistic age like Equestria's had that's lasted more than a millennia, it's always bound to make the "military" much weaker once something actually threatening comes around. Something in which Rising does not like in the least.
As for the rumor spreading like wildfire and Twilight not catching any wind about it, Nightmare Moon and Luna had been kept quite secretly close between Celestia and her personal guards and personal watch as it had been set secretly by Starswirl after the siblings fought the first time. Since a millennia had passed, this sort of thing would've been kept much closer to the chest and passed down carefully through the guards that were assigned to keep an eye on Celestia. I refuse to believe that only Celestia knew of Luna's banishment and that she had some how "gotten better" during the millennia as canon mysteriously shows, you don't banish your own family member whom you care deeply about and move on scot-free.
As for the next chapter, I am still working on it, though inspiration itself seems to be a little reluctant for the moment. It will come, its just I can't deadline it at all.
I know, those mistakes were here for long, but...
"something happens to my sister and me" - not "I", in this case. It's not nominative.
"impatience reined in" - not reigned. Reigned means rule,dominate (e.g. over country) and is not be used with "in".
9361690
Thank you very much, the "x and I" sometimes slips past me, including its exceptions and variations. I sadly just cannot completely get the rule down.
And this, dear readers.
Is how you do "Self insert suddenly alicorn" right. He isn't a god, he isn't perfect at his new form, and he's being forced into the harder parts of ruling Equestria. Politics constantly hover around his head by merely being an alicorn. This is how you do an alicorn in equestria correctly.
9866361
Thank you very much!
Though I do want to admit that Rising... isn't really a self-insert.
Theres about one thing in him that I dearly wish I had and am struggling to get, but the rest of him is stuff I don't have a want or wishful thinking over.