In Our Realm

by GuyWithAJetPack

Glide

"Dad!" Scootaloo yelled, running down the hall that led to our rooms. She seemed excited, So I set down the book that I was reading and responded with an enthusiastic "What?". "Come out back, I need to show you something!" she said, before running outside, voiding any possibility of denial. When I walked outside, she was sitting on the tree. "What are you do-" I started before she leaped off the tree.

She started falling towards the groud, but then opened her wings and glided. I was stunned, she learned to fly while in my care. She did a corkscrew, then landed at my feet. My mouth and eyes were still in the "Saw something awesome" position, until she tugged at my pant leg with her mouth. "Wasn't that cool?" She asked, shaking me into reality. It was nearing our second year together, and she flew. "Please be careful, but it was awesome." I responded, picking her up. She gave me a smile, then buried her head in my shirt. My thoughts hit me like a bag of doorknobs. If she knows how to fly, she might leave. I pushed it away, knowing the true answer.

Later that day, she presented me with another drawing. Her drawings had gotten more realistic lately, It was of me and her, flying through the sky during a golden-orange sunset. I thumb-tacked this one on my wall. Right next to the first one with me, her, and the hammock.

Scootaloo said that she wanted to go see a movie that she saw an ad for on TV. I told her we couldn't get her in the theater, but we could watch a movie we already owned. So after I removed all the movies that weren't for her, ones with excessive violence, launguage, and other adult content, she picked out a movie, and I made popcorn. Since the only DVD player was in my room, We watched it in there. She had picked out an older CGI kids film. Scootaloo soon fell asleep, So I turned off the movie, and fell asleep beside her. Apparently she was still awake. "Good night dad, I love you" She whispered. "Good night Scoots, I love you too." I said. She drifted off, but I couldn't sleep. She obviously saw the differences in our species, but she still called me her father. No, she is family, even if not biological. She treated me better than anyone has. I do love her, she IS my daughter, even though she is a pony.

Scootaloo woke up screaming again, saying she had another nightmare. I turned on the night-light that was still in my room. She was shaking. "Scoots, look at me. Look at me, I won't let anything bad happen to you, I love you, No matter what." I said, looking into her lavender eyes. She stopped shaking, and stopped giving off the scared vibe. She motioned for me to pick her up, so I did. I started gently rocking her in my arms. "Thanks dad, I needed that." she spoke. "I love you Scootaloo. Whenever you need me, I'll be there." I said, looking into her eyes.

I woke up on my early schedule, finished my work, made breakfast for me and Scootaloo, Ate breakfast with her, went outside and played with her. She was now capable of self-liftoff and flight. Soon the yard was too small for her to play in. Using my college fund, I purchased the surrounding properties. I knocked down the fences, had the houses demolished, and had a perimiter fence built. Scootaloo enjoyed having more room to play. I got two more online jobs to help pay for the area.

Comments

[Mr Ignorable]

And suddenly: Brony
And suddenly: Pony
And suddenly: Brony cares for pony
And suddenly: Author expects us to D'aww
And suddenly: Scootaloo draws instead of dances
And suddenly: WE HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOUR CHARACTERS ARE
And suddenly: Pony has nightmares
And suddenly: Person moves out and surprises pony
And suddenly: Pony knows how to fly

Don't get me wrong, It's not bad. It's just average. And by average, I mean dead average. Other than that, you don't need a period after a question mark. That just doesn't make sense.

It's okay, and it's better than most of the New Story drivel I see. So more power to ya.

[Pegasmash64]

>>Mr. Ignorable
C'mon. It's a great story, and to me it stands out more or less.
The characters are obvious

Main character - Brony
Scootaloo - Pony
Mom- Mom
Brandon - Mom's boyfriend
Friends - Assholes

[Mr Ignorable]

840048 Yes but nobody wants to read it except you.

And let me tell you why. First off: HiE or EIH whatever. There are so many that Asia's collectively going DAYUM.
Two: Three words for you buddy: MLD.
Three: CHARACTERS THAT WE HAVE SOME INCENTIVE TO INVEST IN. DON'T JUST ESTABLISH YOUR CHARACTER WITH NAMEPLATES LIKE "hi my name is --" IT'S NOT INTRODUCTION TIME AT THE WATER COOLER IT'S A STORY!

And on this subject, let me describe to you a story which this author has SOME parts down. 1: A pacing set by the author to guide readers along until they get a sufficient feel for the story and its dynamics. This does not have that.

2: As mentioned before, characters.

What this author does in fact have: is feeling. The story did get to me in some sense of the word, and with a bit of help, it can be one of the good HiEs. But it needs a loooot of work.

[UnderCover]

This fic was surprisingly mesmirizing. I'm sure that if you fixed up the first chapter a bit that you would get a lot more veiws.