Failed Confessions to an Oblivious Friend

by FerociousCreation

Countdown Concluded

“Sky, I really really like you!” Vapor Trail exclaimed, her heart knocking on her ribcage. She spoke his name in hopes Sky Stinger believes it is his. The friend looked at Vapor Trail, his eyes wide with shock. Vapor Trail saw this as her chance to bleed her emotions and pressed forward, “I just like everything about you Sky! Your smile, your attitude, your everything!” Her voice cracked, begging for her friend to believe the simulation was no simulation, but real and alive. “You… inspire me. A-and I wish to be with you.”

Sky Stinger took a few steps back. “You… you like me? As in... you want to be my special somepony?”

“Yes, Sky! Please, be my special somepony!” If she gushed out anymore emotions, Vapor Trail would have started to cry. Slowly, Sky Stinger walked up to Vapor Trail, his face flushing with red. He heard me! He believes me! Vapor Trail’s body shivered with anticipation and nervousness.

With his face up close to hers, a hot breath of air escaped the gaps of Sky Stinger’s lips. He reached out a hoof, slowly getting closer to her. Vapor Trail slightly tilted her chin down, batting her eyes shyly.

In one quick motion, Sky Stinger lightly booped her nose with his hoof. “That was perfect! Excellent work, Vapor Trail,” he beamed. “I was almost convinced you were really asking me out.”

“Oh, hehe… yeah…” Vapor Trail rubbed the back of her head, finding it hard to smile. I was hoping you would believe me… With her heart defeated and hopes to have Sky Stinger her special somepony, Vapor Trail needed some privacy. “I just… think I should think about your tips alone now… Just so I can prepare myself.”

“No problem.” Walking away from the bed he, made for the bunker’s exit. Then stopped. Looking back with a suspicious hint in his eyes, he asked, “You said 'Sky' when we were practicing, right?”

Vapor Trail’s ears twitched, hoping Sky Stinger caught onto her hint. “Yes I did,” the mare asked. She kept her eyes and chin leveled with his, just as he instructed her. Confidence was key.

Growing a smile, he said, “I know you were just using my name to keep the stallion you truly like hidden.”

Vapor Trailed lowered her head, losing all hope in Sky Stinger’s oblivious attitude. “Yeah, that's really it,” she muttered sarcastically.

“Well, I will be leaving you to your privacy. Later.” Sky Stinger then walked out with no more words to say.

Slightly frustrated, but more distraught, Vapor Trail planted her face into the pillow resting on her mattress. He didn't even know I was telling him the truth… She grumbled into her pillow, irritated at Sky and his inability to take a hint.

After letting out a muffled sigh, Vapor Trail needed to get some fresh air. When she lifted up her head, the mare realised she was now not alone. Standing at the entrance of the bunker, Fleetfoot looked at the mare, smiling at her.

“Oh, hey Fleetfoot,” Vapor Trail spoke, not really sure of what to make of the Wonderbolt’s presence.

Walking over to her bed, the light-blue mare couldn't contain her joy. “I heard you confess your feelings to Sky Stinger,” Fleetfoot giggled a bit. Vapor Trail’s face burned as she flushed red. “Hey hey, it's okay.” Fleetfoot winked at the flustered mare. “Your secret is safe with me.” She looked to the door of the bunker and hummed. “Well, maybe not for long. I am sure we will all know you two are together eventually.”

Sadness once again gripped Vapor Trail’s heart, knowing Fleetfoot was wrong about Sky Stinger being with the white mare. “Well, I did tell him how I felt…” Vapor Trail’s ears flicked back. “...but he didn’t believe me…”

Fleetfoot turned around, ready to charge out of the building. “He didn't!? What a jerk!” her voice cracking with anger. “Did he turn you down?”

“No no no! It's not what you think!” Vapor Trail squeaked, afraid the heated Wonderbolt was about to give Sky Stinger her two cents.

***

“So you two were just practicing on your confidence to ask out another stallion,” Fleetfoot spoke, summarizing what Vapor Trail had just said. “However, the stallion in question is actually Sky Stinger, and he was unaware of what was really going on.”

“That sounds about right,” Vapor Trail answered with a nod, her mane bouncing a bit.

Smirking, Fleetfoot shook her head, “Sounds to me you have quite a pickle.”

“A very stubborn big nosed pickle that that…” Vapor Trail creased her brow slightly, now believing she might be in a love/hate relationship with Sky Stinger.

Tapping her hoof with a shoulder, Fleetfoot asked, “So are you now going to ask him out a third time?”

“It wouldn't hurt to try. He didn't turn me down yet.”

“That's the spirit.” The Wonderbolt patted her teammate on the shoulder, making Vapor Trail smile. With a curious look in her eyes, Fleetfoot wondered, “I do hope Spitfire is alright with you and Sky Stinger becoming a thing. She isn’t one to like relationships among Wonderbolts.”

“She actually knows.” Vapor Trail’s ears fell back. “When she called me into the office, I told her why I was distracted. And it was because of Sky…”

Fleetfoot grinned, her cheeks lifting up to her eyes. “Now I get your nickname even more.”

A sigh escaped Vapor Trail, her heart still weighed down because of her mistakes from earlier. “But Spitfire is okay with my feelings for him, so long as I don’t… you know-”

“Daydreamer, I get it,” Fleetfoot nodded. “Anyways, I think we should get going. Lunch time is almost over and we still need to get down our routine.” The sky-blue pegasus reached out her hoof to Vapor Trail with an encouraging smile. “Let’s go.”

“Alright.” With hope still in her breast, Vapor Trail got off her bed, confident that her pursuit of Sky Stinger's heart was far from over.

Comments

[OmniFox]

Lock those lovebirds in a closet why don't ya?

[DarkHooves]

Why do I get the feeling this will end with all the other wonderbolts staging a big intervention?

[PonyJosiah13]

Enjoying this so far! Vapor and Sky both seem believable and in character, which I have to praise you for. Getting one-shot characters right is kind of tricky. Plus, their little role play made me laugh quite a bit.

Your rendition of Spitfire is also great: she's a reasonable authority figure who does care about the Wonderbolts, and I liked her little one on one with Vapor, added a lot of depth to her. Plus, her fetishization of her megaphone made me chuckle.

The one issue I have with this is mainly your writing style involves a little too much "tell" and not enough show. Narrating the actions and feelings is a bit dull and slows the story down a bit. Showing us actions and feelings through gestures, comments, and actions is more vivid. This story could benefit greatly from a good proofreader.

But I am still liking this so far! I look forward to more!