You know he could just answer " you match certain myths and legends from my world". It's true while not giving out info he may not want to reveal.

7416503 He was kinda excited meeting characters from a show he likes and didn't know how to filter his mouth properly. That and he's apparently an idiot

how did you know I was royalty if you’re from another world?

Simply. Pinkie blurted it out in:

AND I got to meet TWO royal sisters?

I just can't get past this formatting... sorry bud, but there's too much going on here and I can't even read this without getting distracted. I wasn't even able to finish 4 lines of text. Using colors and bold sounds cool, but it's pretty terrible in practice when you throw it all over the page.

“Why I would never hurt anybody!” I say confidently and then grin “Though I do have a craving for some Jell-O…”

To the first, I think you worded that wrong, and a quetion mark should have been used as well. To the second, what does that have to do with anything?

8264103
I forgot the the comma after the "why" and jello contains gelatin and gelatin is mistakenly thought to be made of hooves, and horses have hooves.

“So, Devan Whitney, how did you know I was royalty if you’re from another world?” Celestia asks me with an even more stern look.

Reaction

8500996
It was more like this.

The Crown may be a "small" hint?

8894693
Perhaps. That and Pinkie Pie mentioning Royal Sisters. But ponies aren't the smartest, and he was pegged as bad from the start by a powerful being. Fucked over either way eh?

... Well here's another one to add to the pile.

Something of note: There are a lot of stories that start out a lot like this one. There are a lot of those that are very well written, and are immediately engaging.

For a wider viewerbase, consider browsing groups relevant to your fic, and seeing if you can't get your fic added to their listing...
Then consider why your story deserves a chance beyond "I'm caught up on all the ones I actually want to read," or, "this showed up on 'recently updated' and I wanted to take a peak" then word your synopsis accordingly. Your first chapter or two also don't really make it stand apart, and unlike a real book someone probably isn't going to open a random page and just start reading to get an idea of the quality. First impressions count. A lot.

Finally, keep in mind that basically every flavor of self insert has been done already. For newer fans, or those who particularly love this genre, that's fine, but for crotchety old nags like me, it's hard to try slogging through the same old formula for the first howevermany chapters before you go divergent. If you do. A lot just follow canon like a fifth wheel, or ship themselves with their waifu (or more rarely, husbando). Anyway, first couple of chapters weren't terrible, despite a certain shallowness evident to a jaundiced eye. This probably gets better considering it started a couple years ago, but after a certain point it might be better to wrap a story up and try a new one, if you reach a good stopping point, so you have another chance at a first impression.

8897276
Hope this one will make you smile. May that smile last a long while. The story should be quite a long mile.

This is a wicked start and I can't wait to see what's next. I wonder what kind of magic he has and if it grows stronger.

“So, Devan Whitney, how did you know I was royalty if you’re from another world?” Celestia asks me with an even more stern look.

Devan: "Is, is the crown not a dead giveaway? In my world, you only wear a crown if you are royalty, a child, or some pretentious jerkwad."

9980292
Devan isnt a genius thankfully. So he got bamboozled.

...when did he say she was royalty?

10174206

“I am a male, your highness” I say knowingly.