Haberdashery

by Super Trampoline

Rainbow Dash Loves Dressing in Style

"Okay, so, Rarity, you gotta help me out."

"Certainly, Rainbow," her friend replied, hemming a sleeve while Rainbow passed about her shop. "What seems to be the problem, dear?"

"Okay, so you know how you make and sell clothes, right?"

"Well, yes, that I do."

Rainbow continued trotting in circles, not bothering to face her friend while she talked. "And you know how Applejack runs that little hat and assorted knick-knack shop out of her cellar?"

"Yes! Besides being good friends, we are also fine business associates. Rather than infringe on each other's business, I prefer to just nudge her towards specializing in products I don't care for, and then send customers her way when the horseshoe fits, so to speak."

"Uh huh, yeah, well the thing is, I really want to buy a hat from her."

"Oh, I don't blame you, darling! Her designs can be a bit utilitarian for my taste, but I'm sure you'll look, well *hehe* pardon the expression, *snrk* dashing in one of her accoutrements. You're lucky she sells hats though."

Rainbow scratched the back of her head nervously, like she always does when she's nervous. Like, if you were playing poker with her, you'd probably win, because she's a mess under pressure. I mean, there have been multiple episodes of the show that partially or entirely revolve around the fact that she has nervous breakdowns when she's stressed. It's almost like she can be an entirely different Pegasus under the 2cool4U façade she's constructed. You could say that hides her vulnerability beneath a tough exterior shell. Like a tortoise. But when the stakes are highest, just like that tortoise, she's steadfast and almost always pulls through, be it for herself, her country, or her friends. Inasmuch, she displays many elements of loyalty.

Where was I?

Oh, right. Rainbow Dash scratched her head nervously, and replied, "I mean, yeah, I guess? Don't most haberdashers sell hats?"

"Oh, no, haberdashers sell needles and buttons and zippers and other small assorted sewing goods. You're thinking of a milliner. Milliners design and make hats. By definition, I am a milliner, although that is not my main focus, obviously. Nor, as I was saying, is it Applejacks; luckily for you, she just happens to like hats and so sells some in addition to her main inventory."

"Fyew!" Rainbow exclaimed. "I was worried for a moment that Super Trampoline was going to have to change this story's title to "Millinery", which isn't anywhere near the pun on "Appledashery" that "Habberdashery" is."

Rarity set down her needle and sleeve. "Dear, I haven't the foggiest what you're going on about. Isn't Super Trampoline that one batpony who plays Prench* horn at 3 in the morning and floods the town bulletin board with questionable real pony fiction? Not to gossip, but I mean, what a layabout!"

Rainbow Dash scratched her head nervously. She seemed to do that a lot. "Heh, yeah, what a loser, haha!" She didn't sound particularly sincere.

Rarity resumed hemming that sleeve. It was really taking a long time, almost as if the author was only throwing the action in there to keep this from being a strictly dialogue-based story. "Right, well, moving on, you want to buy a hat from Applejack. I don't mean to appear insensitive, but wherever is the problem in this?"

Rainbow scratched the back of her head nervously, "Right, well, about that..."

Author's Note:

*Prench means from or related to Prance. It's a horse pun.

Comments

[BabySkittleMonster]

A parody of the longest, most heartbreaking, greatest where are the goshdarned cuddles we were promised cuddles and I still haven't seen a trace fanfiction I've ever cried over read? I'm in.