The Fugitive Draconequus

by Ironskull

A New Beginning

Celestia's response to my statement about the pea was straight to the point.

She rolled her eyes at me.

But then I suddenly hear a noise from next to me that sounds like air escaping from a balloon.

I look over and see Twilight holding a hoof over her mouth and trying desperately not to laugh.

She fails.

"Ahahahaha! Hehehahahahahahaha- ha..."

Twilight suddenly manages to contain herself and her face instantly turns bright red from embarrassment. Celestia is looking at Twilight, tilting her head in surprise.

"Oh my goodness, Princess, I'm so sorry!" cries Twilight, all of her mirth suddenly gone. "I didn't mean to laugh at you, I just- please don't make me stop being your student, I can explain!"

Celestia puts on a figurative mask of coldness. As opposed to one of my literal ones.

"I'm listening."

"Wait," I cry out, suddenly concerned. "Celly-"

"Later, Discord. Twilight, explain."

Twilight gulps, and then starts talking.

"It's just that, you asked me to reform Discord, and I decided that the best way to do that was to make friends with him, but he isn't exactly easy to be friends with, so I sort of changed my mindset to something that I thought would be more cohesive with his personality. I mean, was that wrong? It did work! Wait, you do know that Discord is friendly now, right?"

"I may not have been myself while under the siren's magic, but I can remember everything that transpired. I was very startled to see him, but now that I am able to think clearly, it is clear that he did what he did out of his friendship with you."

"Well, that's a good thing, right? I thought that I could keep it under control and not act like that in front of other ponies, but I slipped up!" she gasps. "I'm not going to turn into a crazy unicorn who thinks like Discord, am I?"

"Wow, Twi," I say. "It's a good thing that you have gotten to know me well enough that you know that I consider 'crazy' to be a complement!"

"You changed your behavior in order to relate to Discord better?"

"Yes! I'm sorry!"

"Twilight, don't be sorry. I have to do the very thing that you described all the time with foreign dignitaries. For instance, the griffon ambassador is a little bit aggressive, and he gets very confused if when I fail to respond to him with a little bit of intimidation."

"Wait, you intimidate the griffon ambassador?"

"Subtly. And he respects me for it."

"That doesn't sound very friendly though!" says Twilight in confusion.

"Well in a strange way, they seem to think it is."

"So you're saying that it's okay to act differently around different friends?"

"Of course it is!"

"But what about if I start thinking like that all the time!"

"Do you want to?"

"Of course not!"

"Then you won't," says Celestia with finality.

Twilight doesn't speak, but just stands where she is as she absorbs this information.

*GROOOOOAN!*

"Something to say, Discord?" asks Celestia.

"Celly, you're- I just can't believe you, you took one of my jokes and turned it into... A FRIENDSHIP LESSON! You are relentless!"

"As are you, Discord."

I stroke my beard with my paw and think about it.

"Fair enough."

"What about Discord making illogical jokes about you that are obviously not true?" says Twilight suddenly.

"Let him. I'm a mature pony. It takes more than a slight joke at my expense for me to fly off the handle."

"Apparently though," I say, "you will fly off the handle from raindrop torture."

Celestia suddenly grows wide eyed before narrowing her eyes at me again.

"I knew there was some funny business going on!"

"Sister, what is this that thou speaketh of?"

"Discord has been following me and tormenting me on my vacation!" cries Celestia.

Before I can do anything, Twilight steps in front of me.

"I helped!" she cries.

Celestia looks down at Twilight in surprise.

"Discord sort of... ran away from us after you left him in Ponyville," she continues nervously. "And then he ran into the Everfree and started plotting ways to get revenge on us all, especially you," she says, indicating Celestia. "When I confronted him, I asked him what I could do to make him agree to give friendship a chance. He asked me to help him... prank you."

Celestia continues staring at Twilight for about eight seconds before looking at me.

"Are you responsible for the mysterious reemergence of Princess Platinum's lost diadem?"

"Wait, what?" says Luna.

"Er, yes."

"Oh, thank goodness!" Celestia cries out in relief. "I thought it was another relic from the past popping out of nowhere as a prelude to yet another disaster!"

"Hmm," I say. "That would have been funny. After I got my powers back, I could have summoned up an illusion of Platinum looking like a ghost and made her be all like 'Oooooooooooh, Celestia, I have come to you in order send you on an epic quest!' Although, I guess that would have been taking the whole thing too far."

"Yes," growls Celestia. "It would have. Have you at least gotten all of these 'pranks' out of your system?"

"What's this about the diadem?" says Luna in irritation.

"It was inside of Joker's Island gathering dust all this time. She was supposed to come and get it, but she was too lazy."

"Discord!" cries Celestia. "Have you gotten it out of your system?"

"I'll never get it out of my system, Celestia," I answer, and Celestia starts to look angry, but then I keep going. "But I can go find somepony else to pester for a while. Twilight here has already volunteered herself."

Celestia gives me a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you see, after spending so much time together, Twilight became infatuated with me, and now we're in a rather romantic relationship!" I snap and the purple unicorn pops into my arms.

All of Twilights friends, who until now have been watching the exchange in silent fascination, start reacting with various degrees of shock and disgust.

"Discord!" shouts Celestia. "I may be willing to tolerate a few jokes, but KINDLY leave Twilight out of it!"

"Discord!" Twilight cries at me in a perfectly audible shout-whisper. "Couldn't you have let me found a less blunt way of telling them that?"

Everypony around us falls silent.

Suddenly Celestia falls sideways onto the ground.

"Oh no!" Twilight hops out of my arms and runs toward her teacher.

"Sister!" cries Luna. She rushes over to Celestia too and looks down at her.

"You are not fainted," she says in a normal tone.

"Unfortunately not."

"Perhaps I should see to the islanders," mutters Luna awkwardly. "There is no doubt that they must be very confused now that their mind's are their own once again. I should offer them the opportunity to board your flagship and make a new life far from this place."

Luna hurriedly leaves.

"How did no one ever notice that there was an evil siren living on an island a short ways from Manehattan, anyway?" I ask.

"She ensured that all boats that ever came near either never left the island, or else used her song to force them to forget," says Celestia from the ground, speaking in monotone.

Twilight walks over to her.

"You're trying to avoid the whole 'Discord and me' thing, arn't you?" she asks awkwardly.

"Twilight, you've committed yourself to the insane lord of chaos. Of course I'm trying to not think about it. I am suddenly very concerned for your future."

"But I thought you were okay with me being around Discord."

Celestia lets out a heavy sigh. "I did say that. If this is truly your wish, Twilight, then I dare not deny you."

"Come now, Celly, you're trying to hide it, but I know what you're really thinking!" I say with a grin. "You're just mad that Twilight likes me more than you!"

Cestestia gasps and looks up at me like I'm even more insane than usual.

"I do not like her like that!" she cries in exasperation.

"Not what I meant," I answer honestly. "But funny, regardless."

"You seem rather pleased with yourself for someone who finally accepted... friendship, and therefore must admit that I was right all along," Celestia taunts.

"Okay, sure," I say reluctantly. "But yes, I am pleased with myself, as a matter of fact, because, one, I made friends my way, two, I got to annoy the sun out of you, three, Twilight likes me more than she likes you, and four, I finally, finally managed to defeat you!"

"You did not!" Celestia retorts. "I had you dazed when Twilight and her friends distracted me, and you are lucky that they did, otherwise, I could have ended you!"

"Don't give me that! I was holding back while you were trying to kill me, thanks to that fish messing with your head. I definitely would have taken you out in a normal fight!"

"The only reason that you won was because of the help of your friends!"

"Princess, Discord, please, stop fighting!" cries Twilight.

Celestia and I glare at each other for a moment.

"You want a rematch sometime?" I offer.

"I'm busy, remember?" says Celestia.

"You found the time to have a week-long vacation," I point out. "Surely you could reschedule some of those mind-numbingly dull meetings with ponies trying to get you to do them favors."

Celestia pauses to consider.

"Actually, I think I can arrange something."

"Deal!"

I look over at Twilight and her friends, who all have expressions of disbelief.

"So, it appears that this little adventure of ours has finally come to a close!" I say, stretching my arms out. "So what sort of crazy thing are we going to do next?"

Twilight facehoofs.

"The next thing we are going to do is have some peace and quiet," she says in a commanding voice.

I droop and quickly become a puddle.

"I've been away from all of my friends for a while. I'd like some time to catch up with them."

"Ugh!"

"But, I want you to come too. I want everypony to at least get comfortable around you."

"But that sounds so-"

"I'll go with you afterward and we can have a chaos spree."

"Oh, is this compromising?" I ask with overdone enthusiasm. "Can I remodel the Celestia balloon into a submersible?"

"The what?" cries Celestia morbid curiosity, still on her side.

"Oh cream cakes!" Twilight exclaims. "I completely forgot about that!"

"So did I!" I exclaim. "At least, until just now. Let's show her, she'll love it!"

*SNAP*

The bloated blimp appears behind me right in view of Celestia, fully inflated, and I'm using my magic to keep it grounded.

"Oh, and look!" I cry, pulling an armful of photos from the supplies loaded into the blimp. "Here's pictures of Twi and I following you around in it all week long!"

Celestia's head falls to the ground again.

"Wait, seriously?" cries Rainbow Dash, rushing forward. "Let me see!"

I give Celestia a bemused look.

"Sure," I say to Rainbow, holding the photos out. "I think Celestia is out cold for real this time anyway."

Author's Note:

At last, this fairly massive and crazy story arc reaches its conclusion! But worry not, for although the story now has passed the point where I could stop and call it a complete story, there will be plenty more bonus chapters and also some episode retellings in the future, because this alternate universe I have created is going to change quite a lot of stuff!

I apologize for the large gaps of time in which it failed to update. I wasn't happy about my writer's block either. But there is at least one thing that I can feel proud of, and that is the fact that I actually finished this thing and apparently made so many people smile! I almost never tell people to hit the like button, but if you have managed to read this far and you have been withholding that like (or dislike, I guess) so as to only judge when the story is complete, I would greatly appreciate it if you could take the time to give the story a rating, now that it has come full circle. Hope you all enjoyed, and continue to enjoy!

Comments

[Ironskull]

It's really weird that I'm publishing this conclusion on mother's day. This has nothing to do with mother's day, lol.

[Portalcreeeper]

8923627
I think that depends a little bit in how much of other people's headcanons you have read.

[Kirtai]

Pincess Platinum's lost diadem?"

Princess

" Discord! Twilight cries at me in a perfectly audible shout-whisper. Couldn't you have let me found a less blunt way of telling them that? "

Two missing ""

[Lexiebommel10]

I really loved your story it here are all of the things i think made your story pop
Firstly very coherent story good grammer, spelling and such
It seemed to be made alot better then most storys on here becuase it flowed properly
Magic lore and concept
That one song
Twicord
And more but im bad at thinking

[Venerable Ro]

I want to see to see those pictures! Gimme.

[Emperor]

Well, at last Discord is finally reconciled with everypony else. Fortunately, he still has enough ammunition to shock the living daylights out of everypony...including Celestia!

That was a fun read to go through, anyways. It certainly got a little bit slow in parts, but considering it was shaping up to be a romance, even for a quick fling there still has to be some slow burn to them.

[Lexiebommel10]

So good it even gets a reread