• Member Since 19th Jun, 2016
  • offline last seen Jul 26th, 2016

MlpFimfiction123


Loved Mlp whole life. Ireland. Love past sins and Asylum and the moons apprentice ( not my work).

Comments ( 6 )

You need to put narration and more details. Sense this is your first fiction you get 3 points for the idea and 2 points for trying. 5/10 it's average.

7376697
Thanks for the tips. I really appreciate it. :twilightsmile: But could you explain what you mean by narration?

7386117 scripting is when two characters talk with out third person or first person.

In a first-person narrative, the story is revealed through a narrator who is also a character within the story, so that the narrator reveals the plot by referring to this viewpoint character with forms of "I" or, when plural, "we". Often, the first-person narrative is used as a way to directly convey the deeply internal, otherwise unspoken thoughts of the narrator.

Third-person narration provides the greatest flexibility to the author and thus is the most commonly used narrative mode in literature. In the third-person narrative mode, each and every character is referred to by the narrator as "he", "she", "it", or "they", but never as "I" or "we" (first-person), or "you" (second-person). In third-person narrative, it is clear that the narrator is an unspecified entity or uninvolved person who conveys the story and is not a character of any kind within the story.

Past tense

The events of the plot are depicted as occurring sometime before the current moment or the time at which the narrative was constructed or expressed to an audience.

Present tense

The events of the plot are depicted as occurring now — at the current moment — in real time. In English, this tense, known as the "historical present", is more common in spontaneous conversational narratives than in written literature. A recent example of this is the Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins.

7386141
I cannot thank you enough. :twilightsmile: Do you suggest I shouldn't write the story as Sunset Shimmer's perspective?

7386180 continue it just try to make it either any person view with present tense then when you got that down try fixing the first chapter

Sorry to bug you but who is Swagailish4??? by any chance can you send me a link to his page?

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