Does Twilights ultimate defeat at the hooves of Nightmare Moon mean the end of daytime in equestria?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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2321737Yea some of my chapters will do that to ya. So what part of the chapter was it that caught ya?
2321933I take that as a compliment.
You're improving, excellent work
Only one slip up
But other than that, it's quite good
2321965 Thank you I'll get on it right away
And Twilight proves once again how awesome she is
How far ahead of the show is this? Story wise it feels like NMM should return in another seven years or so ...
2321988 The pace will be picking up in a few chapters but don't worry it won't be bad just getting the repetitions cut so I can get to the major plot points.
and just about seven years
Woot Update!!!
2322108 Yw. Please leave a comment, when you finish. let me know what you thought.
2322056
I kinda hope that Celestia forgot about that whole explosion thing considering that she swore to really hurt whoever was responsible (filly Twily) ...
but to be fair to Celestia I have to admit ...
Because Twilight failed her test Celestia has been STUCK WITH TRIXIE FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS.
If I was Celestia I do not know if I could forgive her for that ...
2322132 You'll see.
it has been a while that it took me a bit to remember what has happened in earlier chapters and while nothing to exciting has happened not a bad chapter and I'm looking forward to future chapters
2322278 Thanks
I really enjoy this story and when it updates I pounce on reading it due to the world building, interesting events, and the length. That said, I must point out a problem.
How did White Wind learn Twilight's real name? She does this at least one more time just a paragraph or two later.
2323052 shoot need to fix that. thanks for the heads up
be fixed in a few.
2323595
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20060928054533/egamia/images/b/bd/Kane_CC3_Nod.jpg
This paragraph is repeated.
awesome new chapter.
2323985 Grrrr... thanks for pointing it out.
Edit: [fixed now.]
2323992 No prob.
2324001 so tell me some of the things you liked about the chapter. I'm just bursting with anticipation.
2324013
well. after a quick revisit of the previous chapters, I read this last one.
I enjoyed reading about twilight's reincorporation in pony lands.
Fang is still cute, zecora is still awesome, and I am wondering if the hollowed out trees are common in pony towns...
also, is she setting camp on Windbreak? will she travel from town to town as a traveling alchemist?
will she arrive in ponyville by unexpected means? Or the prologue is not canon, and she will never go there?
awaiting for the next chapter now ^_^
2324040 Thank you I'll try not to disappoint.
>2321753
It was no single part in particular, more of how you portray a situation in which a single change of words in a conversation between children changed the eventual outcome of so many different things, It's the kinda thing that makes ya sit and think weather ya like it or not.
That, and the prologue's seemingly referenced the first fic i read, one in which trixie replaced twilight, the name and plot of the story both escape me at the moment, but the moment you mentioned that idea you sort of just forced me to read.
Twilight would be angry with how I chose to word that last bit.
2327559 thank you for your thoughts and I'm glad you made it through the adventure, Trixie will be showing in the next chapter I want to build back in some of the tension from the prologue. plus I like Trixie's ineptness at leading. hope to see you next chapter.
Si esto sigue así terminaremos viendo a los nuevos elementos de la harmonía contra twilight y NMM!. Pero la imagen de la portada me hace pensar otra cosa. Y creo no ser el único que quiere conocer la historia de pinkie
if this continues this way we´ll see this fight: new elements of harmony vs twi and NMM!. But the picture of the fic makes me think different. And i want to hear sad pinkie´s story
2328261 we'll see what happens. you might be surprised by some of the curve balls i'm going to be throwing in.
2327678
Gah, I caught up with the latest update, write faster yo.
And also, that NSFW moment... didn't see it -coming- at all. (Unless you count Rainbow Dash's thinking.)
2447147 yea just a reminder on some of the things I need to fix on the rewrites when I get to them. as for now when you get to the later chapters particularly the latest three you'll see a significant difference between the way they are written and a vast improvement in the editing/proofreading.
also a small explanation on how the naming system works in my universe is that the ponies get to rename themselves after receiving their cutiemark however most ponies never truly need to do so since their cutiemarks usually match their names pretty well when they get them.
I'm also glad you caught onto the fact that a few of the group Trixie met with were renamed main characters to fit their alternate rolls
when I do rewrites I'll be sending a message out to anypony that would be willing to help me edit this story, thanks for taking your time to comment though.
2472997 why thank you I'll try not to disappoint in future chapters.
Oh yeah! I have a cousin from there. Nice town, friendly ponies, good cider
Anyway...
I'm really enjoying the world building. I imagine some might think it's taking to long to get back to the action. BUT I really enjoy high fantasy settings with well established characters and clearly thought out rules regarding magic etc.
Can't wait
images.wikia.com/glee/images/9/95/This-is-gonna-be-good.gif
Erm. I think you missed something.
3042047 yay I finally found it Yes It is finally fixed. Thanks for the help.
I promise not to complain anymore about the grammar, verb tense, punctuation, spelling, capitalization,or L.U.S. in this story, really. Just know that you could really, really, really do with an editor. Also, there's an inconsistency I noticed this chapter. If Berry knew exactly where White Wind lived, why send Twilight to the tavern to ask where she lives? And if he was going to visit her anyway (as implied by what White Wind said upon Twilight's arrival), then why not take her with him? That's two chances missed to have her go directly to her and avoid a less than savory bar, isn't it? Also, also, I think you're confused on just what a tavern is. Taverns offer drinks, and sometimes food. Inns and hotels offer lodgings. Also, also, also, I'm going to bed. 2a.m. here.