Does Twilights ultimate defeat at the hooves of Nightmare Moon mean the end of daytime in equestria?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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oh hi mark
IT LIVES!!!
Woohoo! Lovin it.
This story is great!
I must say... good on you for your new chapter. Most sincere dilates I did feel, so happy holidays and a good hole year I thee wish.
6791295 Why thank you, and may this new year bear fruit for your endeavors as well.
6791300
I wish... I've been one lazy git I have... (Blameing Fallout 4)
Still you never know, hopefully inspiration will strike me sooner rather than later. Taly hoo!
6791313 I can agree with that. (Skyrim)+(Fallout 4)= (4 month hiatus.)
Nice. Now we are at the point that the group begins to congregate. I've been looking forward to this part for awhile.
change it to :"Nicht hier, unsere Königin möchte mit Ihnen in Zimmer vier sprechen."
Wow, a hit with a baseball bat for any german grammar nazi.
change to :"Aah, dann lasst uns jetzt dort hingehen." Please.
For good german translation don't just translate the words using google, in german the arrangement is different.
6823983 Thank you, I was hoping for someone to point out whether my translations were bad or not, apparently they were just mediocre. Thanks again for fixing the translations.
(P.S. They were actually worse when I did the translate on Google.)
Just my opinion, but i hope you take it to heart:
I have not yet read far into the story, but i feel commenting now is necessary.
The beginning chapters are, for a lack of a better word, bad.
Now don't jump to conclusions just yet! I really like the worldbuilding you have here.
But the intro seems to suffer from many plot holes (like having to hatch a dragon egg for an entrance into an elite school - does every other one do? If so, what the heck is done with numerous dragons that are hatched? How do they even get that many eggs? )
These and many more questions have sprung up while dragging myself through the metaphorical fuckton of grammatical errors - just the right amount as to not impair the reading comprehension but still seriously irk the reader (groups that offer proofreading are a thing, along with generous people btw)
Story is good, but needs heavy polishing. I will continue to barge through and i sincerely hope for an improvement. What you have put up so far has a reasonable amount of potential.
Que end of this rude (and hopefully seen as constructive) criticism.
6041836
7074759 Believe me I know the beginning is for better terms a 'project' in grammatical and plot error and needs some polishing. I have tried the Editing groups, but have been ignored repeatedly, and haven't had anyone wishing to help edit other than the occasional person correcting my errors in writing foreign languages. but later chapters do get better.
7075978 hmmmm oh well. It's not like I don't have cells to spare
cuz this will kill me inside
EDIT: And as much as i would have enjoyed playing grammar nazi with this story (because believe me, i would) i sadly do not have the time necessary to get anywhere with any sort of respectable speed. Perhaps in a few weeks, pm me if you're interested.
7078026 Thank you, I just might, I'll hopefully have my next chapter done by then as well.
7206093 I would have had it out 3 weeks ago, however Life Happened. but never fear I am still working at the chapter even if its going abysmally slow.
7206184 Thank you for your patience.
Should be Glimmer or whatever, just not Twilight.
7275548 Thanks for the correction. Fixed