Losses All Around
Mecha stood stock still as he was being measured by Rarity.
“Really darling, I just do not understand why you can not use your current suit for this wedding,” Rarity told him, writing down the small modifications to his measurements. “I mean, it is a simply divine outfit, and still in fashion to boot!”
Snorting, Mecha replied, “I've told you already, I'm to be part of the honor guard, which means that I need a suit that also works as a uniform while still showcasing my weapons.”
“Yes yes, but still!” Rarity said, pulling out some fabric. “If I were to do that correctly, you would end up with nothing more than a bandanna across your forehead! I mean, really, do you have to have so many weapons?”
Chuckling, Mecha replied, “Wait until you see Big M's requirements... it's about time he pulled his true weapons out!”
Raising an eyebrow, Rarity asked, “True weapons? Whatever do you mean? He uses a two hoofed sword right?”
Shaking his head, Mecha told her, “Only for tournaments when a bladed weapon is required. His preferred weapon- back when I convinced him knowing how to wield one was a good idea- is something a bit more... unique. Only reason he didn't use it back when that rabid manticore attacked would be because what he used as a colt wouldn't work now that he's gotten so large, as well as the fact that I hadn't gotten around to making him a new one yet.”
“Ohhh! You must tell me darling!” Rarity squealed, before getting back to her stitch work. “After all, a pony of his size must be able to wield an extraordinary weapon!”
Mecha grinned, before asking, “Ever heard of a meteor hammer?” Seeing Rarity shake her head, he continued, “It's a weapon from outside of Equestria, and very hard to use. A basic one could be described as to large balls of metal connected by a several foot long chain.”
Eyes widening, Rarity said, “I see... and with Big Macintosh's strength, he could easily use a larger weight at the end... I shudder to think at the damage that one of those could cause in his hooves!”
Smirking, Mecha replied, “Yes, and when you think about how fast he can get those things going...”
Rarity let out a small shudder, before telling Mecha, “You are free to go for now- I should have your suit ready by tomorrow afternoon.
With a quick smile, Mecha nodded and left Rarity to her work, passing Big Macintosh as he entered. With a nod to him, Mecha gave a quick greeting of, “See ya at the bachelor party tonight!” before continuing towards the school house.
Getting there right as the bell rang, he took a step to the side as all the colts and fillies burst through the door, with Snips, Snails, Ruby, Sapphire, Sugary Spice, and Lively Spirit all stopping to say a quick hello to him, before running off.
Smiling, Mecha walked in and greeted Cheerilee with a quick kiss, before asking, “You ready for the bachelorette party tonight?”
With a small laugh, Cheerilee replied, “Sure am. Granted, we probably won't have near the excitement that you guys will at the bachelor party, but that's probably a good thing.”
Mecha gave a small shudder, before saying, “Yeah... that probably is a good thing. I still don't know how we ended up in Saddle Arabia last time... or why Doctor Whooves keeps flinching at pears...”
Smiling at her fiance’s rambling, Cheerilee said, “Either way, I loved that snow globe you picked up for me, and Ditzy loves to tease Doctor Whooves with a pear muffin every now and then. Besides, it's not like that's the worse thing that's happened while you five were drunk.”
Mecha flinched, and replied, “I still don't see how Spitfire could blame me for getting Solaris arrested!”
“Not to mention the time that you invited Dissonant Babel over for poker night,” Cheerilee continued. “They were cleaning Town hall for a month after that!”
“Yeah... auntie was pretty pissed at us for that one...” Mecha started, “As was that cabbage merchant.”
“To be fair,” Cheerilee countered, “That was the seventh time you've destroyed his stand.”
“It's not my fault!” Mecha replied. “And I fixed it for him every time! Free of charge too!”
Chuckling lightly, Cheerilee gave him a quick peck on the cheek, before saying, “Enough of this- what's the plan for the rest of the day?”
Walking out of the school building, Mecha replied, “I figured a good old walk around town would be a nice before our parties tonight.”
Cheerilee simply smiled before leaning into Mecha, muttering, “That works for me...”
LINEBREAKER
Mecha burst through the doors to Poker Night Potshot, holding a few bottles of Apple Family moonshine, while shouting, “ALL RIGHT! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!” Only to blink, and ask, “And what's Nimbus doing here?”
Trying to stifle his laughter, Shining Armor replied, “The paparazzi is going to be all over the bachelor and bachelorette parties, so I invited your friend Nimbus over so that we have a pegasus in the group and don't seem racist.”
Blinking, Mecha asked, “Wouldn't we seem racist with our current ratio?”
“Not really,” Doctor Whooves replied, “Considering that half the population is made up of Earth Ponies, and the remaining half if split between Unicorns and Pegasi. It's mere 'chance' that we happen to have more Unicorns than Pegasi. After all, you can't divide 6 into for parts.*”
“Ah...” Mecha replied, nodding his head. “That makes sense... except won't the bachelorette party seem racist with... an Alicorn, three Pegasi, and an Earth Pony?”
“Eenope,” Big Macintosh replied, “Seein' as they got together as friends as a result of our friendship.”
“Works for me!” Mecha said, before opening one of the bottles.
Right as he was about to take a drink from it, Shining Armor used his magic to remove it from his grasp, saying, “Sorry, but we need to get the head of the honor guard figured out first.”
Blinking, Mecha asked, “Say what?”
Chuckling, Nimbus flew over and said, “Head of the honor guard. You know, that thing you're a part of?”
Eye twitching, Mecha asked, “You mean the position earned by fighting the rest of the honor guard?”
“Using only your actual weapons,” Solaris continued, “meaning no tricks, no mechanical legs, nothing. Just pure, unaltered combat.”
Groaning, Mecha face-hoofed, asking, “This is pay back for the Grand Galloping Gala isn't it?”
“Maybe...” Solaris replied, a grin on his face.
“Let's get this over with...” Mecha muttered, walking back outside.
Chuckling, his friends walked out, Solaris tossing him a pair of short swords. Grabbing them, Mecha got up and gave them a few test swings, before saying, “It's so odd... I haven't used two real swords in forever...”
Chuckling, Big Macintosh stood opposite of Mecha, saying, “How do ya think ah feel? Ah haven't been able to use these things in years!” as he brought out his meteor hammers.
Sighing, Mecha nodded to Shining Armor, who cast the arena spell over the two, signaling the start of the battle.
Running forward, Mecha tried to end the battle quickly, only to have to jump to the left as one of the weights flew straight through were he just was, crashing and leaving a crater three feet wide and one foot deep where it hit.
Whistling, Mecha leapt over the other weight, before running forward again.
Big Macintosh pulled the chain, causing the weights to fly back towards him, before he started to spin them at his sides. When Mecha reached him, he took a step back to avoid being sliced, bringing one of the weights crashing down on Mecha's swords, forcing him to let go as he stepped back to avoid the second weight.
Taking a leap back, Mecha scowled as he knew that he was all but done for. Normally, he'd use one of his grenades to deal with this sorta situation, but since he was restricted to just his weapons... Well, he had one shot at victory.
Eying the spinning metal balls of death, Mecha waited until they were both flying towards him before dashing forward. Dodging the first weight, he winced when the second one caught his real right foreleg, shattering the bone in it. He didn't let that deter him however, as he slid underneath Big Macintosh, while grabbing one of his swords with his metal leg. Leaping up and turning around, his world went black when the weight that Big Macintosh had snapped back collided with his head.
Mecha came to with a groan a few minutes later, blinking and asking, “What happened?”
“Big M here beat you with a well timed shot,” Nimbus told him, “Before taking a loss to mister scythe over there. Figured you'd like to sleep off a head injury before fighting again.”
Shooting a slight glare at his friend, Mecha sighed before asking, “Before we start, how's that scythe holding up?”
Pulling out said weapon, Solaris grinned, before giving it a spin and saying, “It's holding up great. Haven't even needed to sharpen it yet- what is this thing made of?”
“Nightmare metal,” Mecha replied, ignoring the shocked looks on his friends faces. “What? It's highly durable and magic absorbent, something he needs for his job. Besides, it's coated with a thin layer of Celestial metal to counter act the nightmare properties, and the edge is an industrial diamond. Hence why he hasn't needed to sharpen it before.”
“Right, I know what Nightmare metal is,” Nimbus started, “But what the hay is Celestial metal?”
Sighing, Mecha explained, “A pinkish red variety of tungsten that is similar to Nightmare metal in that it is a mystic metal- but is the opposite in almost every other way. It blocks the nightmares that Nightmare metal causes while also being highly conductive of magic.”
Blinking, Doctor Whooves asked, “Where do you get this stuff from?!?”
Mecha gave a shrug, before replying, “You'd be surprised at what you can find when you get displaced by a large explosion. Now then, are we going to do this thing and get drunk finally, or do I have to see if I've mastered the art of drunken combat?”
Shaking his head, Solaris replied, “Let's just get started.”
Taking in a deep breath, Mecha took a loose stance, ready to move the moment the arena spell took place. While waiting for Shining Armor to cast it, he ran through several scenarios about how this fight would go through his head, and came to the same conclusion every time. This was going to hurt.
Leaping to the left the moment the spell went up, Mecha swore as he barely dodged the two hand sickle's that had been attached to the chains in Solaris's hand. He'd call foul if it wasn't a built in feature of the weapon he'd built into himself, and winced as he just barely got away from the second swipe of the deadly weapons.
Tired of being on the defensive, and knowing things would end quicker and with less pain, Mecha rushed forward, forcing Solaris to retract the chains. Stepping around Mecha's swift strikes, he quickly snapped the two hand scythes back together before using the two bladed scythe to block Mecha's next blow. With a wide grin, he pushed the blades up, before spinning his scythe and leaving hundreds of small cuts all over Mecha's chest. “No fair,” Mecha complained, as he finally managed to nick Solaris, “I'm a scout!”
Laughing, Solaris left a deep gash in Mecha's real sword leg, forcing him to drop a sword, asking, “So? That hasn't stopped you in the past!”
“Yeah, but I was allowed to use my tricks and dirty tactics before!” Mecha replied, leaping back so that he only received a deep gash in his chest instead of being sliced in two.
“You're saying you can only win with tricks and fighting dirty?” Solaris asked, spinning around Mecha's attack and cutting his hamstring. “Then how'd you tie against Shining Armor in that tournament?”
“You'd be surprised at how much fighting against demons in Hell helps to train you,” Mecha replied, before asking, “Could you just finish this? I'm getting tired of being cut up.”
Shrugging, Solaris stored one of the scythe's blades, before using the other to chop Mecha's head off.
LINEBREAKER
“Now you guys get why I never agree to fair fights,” Mecha told them, rubbing his neck while nursing a bottle of hard apple cider.
“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh replied, taking a sip from his own drink, “Ya suck without any of your tricks.”
Snorting, Nimbus added, “That's an understatement,” before the final card was flipped, causing him to groan and ask, “And how is it I can't win a single hand in this game!”
“I don't know,” Shining Armor replied, “By all accounts, you should've won when all I had was a nine high.”
“An eight high! I had an eight high! The lowest possible hand in this game! The odds of that happening the same time you had a nine high... ugh!” Nimbus bemoaned, slamming his head against the table.
Their game was interrupted when Snips and Snails burst through the door, huffing and out of breath. Spotting Mecha when everypony turned to look at them, they shouted, “Ruby, Sapphire, hospital!” before collapsing.
Blinking, Mecha's friends watched as he rushed out of the building towards the hospital.
LINEBREAKER
When Mecha arrived at the hospital, he was quickly directed to the two Changeling sisters room, where he quickly entered to hear their screams of pain.
Wincing, he turned to the doctor, and asked, “What happened!”
“We don't know!” was the doctor's response, “They apparently just collapsed and started screaming!”
Growling, Mecha pushed the doctor away before glancing at the two sisters again, magic pumping into his eyes in order to see if something magical was afflicting them. What he saw caused him to frown. They both appeared to have a tendril of magic that had... snapped, for a lack of a better word, receding from the... north! That was it! He might not know what that tendril of magic was, but chances were that Hade did!
Rushing back out the building, Mecha turned towards Equestria's northern border, before taking in a deep breath. Focusing, he directed his magic towards his ankles, more specifically, the runes he'd drawn onto himself after the whole Capo experience.
They were a nifty trick he'd learned while in Hell, and never really had a use for them until now. As it was, the ones he was releasing were weight runes that were meant to help with his speed training, and would show just how useful they were as they deactivated in a light flash of black magic.
Tensing his muscles, Mecha took off, running at full speed. With a grin, he traveled through the country side at a speed that, while nowhere near breaking the sound barrier, would still give Rainbow Dash a run for her money in a straight race.
Allowing the country side to blur, Mecha focused on trying to stay on the path, knowing that once he crossed the border he'd be able to locate Hade quickly by asking around the locals.
However, that plan changed when he came to a sliding stop, passing by a bloody and broken Hade on the roadside. Running back towards him, he asked, “What in Wrath's armory happened here!”
Hade turned to face, Mecha, before chuckling. “I knew you'd be rushing here,” he started, before coughing up some blood. “Ruby and Sapphire probably alerted you that something was wrong with their screaming.”
Grabbing his friend by his shoulders, Mecha asked once more, “What happened?!?”
“The queen is dead,” Hade replied, his voice weak.
“Wait... what do you mean dead?” Mecha asked, his eyes showing that his thoughts were running a mile a minute.
“Just that, dead,” Hade replied, coughing up even more blood. “Some imposter claiming to be the true queen showed up, and demanded,” Hade was interrupted by a coughing fit, before continuing, “Demanded that she be given the throne or else she'd... she'd... she'd kill us all.”
“Wait... you mean...?” Mecha started.
“Yeah... they're dead too,” Hade replied. “And... I'm joining them soon...”
Eyes widening, Mecha yelled, “Don't you die on me! I'm getting you to-”
“NO!” Hade started, “It's too late for me! You need-” once more, he was interrupted by a coughing fit, before finishing his sentence, “help my nieces. They need to... to...”
Hade's eyes started to close, his body finally giving out. “NEED TO WHAT!” Mecha hollered.
“Form their own... hive...” Hade finished, going limp.
“Hade...? Wake up man, this isn't funny!” Mecha tried, shaking his friend. “Hade, wake up now! I can't bring to you to the hospital if you're dead!”
Tears started to fall from Mecha's eyes as he shook his friend's form violently. “HADE! DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME! I'VE HAD TO MANY FRIENDS DIE ON ME ALREADY!!!”
Finally, after a few more minutes of shaking, Mecha stopped, tears flowing from his eyes. Shaking, he got up, before shifting his mechanical leg into a lighter. Bringing it down to his friend's body, he lit it, and, giving one last glance at his friend's form, lit the body.
Turning in Ponyville's direction, he closed his eyes, before wiping his tears away. Taking in a deep breath, he started to walk, then run, back towards the hospital. Arriving in mere minutes, he made his way towards his charges' room, where he saw that they were still screaming in agony.
“Ruby, Sapphire!” he barked out, surprising everypony in the room with his relativly quick return, “You need to form a new hive! The old one is gone- you should know what to do!”
The two young changelings started to whimper, before their horns began to glow with magic. After a few minutes of whimpering and magic use, the two finally relaxed, their horns no longer glowing.
“Amazing...” the closest doctor started, glancing over the two young girls. “How did you know that would work?”
“A friend told me,” Mecha replied stiffly, before turning to leave. “A friend told me...”
*Statistics based on season 1-2 pony list- and yes, I counted each and every pony, while recording their species, gender, and age. It was an hour well sepnt.
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Damn, you're dedicated
2254756
How so?
Who did you do it in a hour is what I want to know.
2255705
A bit more clarification and I'd love to answer your question.
if you post your findings i would love to see it and may decide to update it with season 3
2255648 you counted out the ponies then found out the ratio between the different races. Not many people go that indepth with their stories.
2256992
Oh! Yeah. It was actually something I did back in... December out of boredom. You'd be surprised at how easy it is to just scroll down a list out of boredom.
2256276
Sure- do you run open office? Because otherwise I'll have to convert the data file to send you the article.
2257401 i thought that you would just post it to a blog and i must retract my previous statement, it was spur of the moment and is in compatable with my current agenda. apologizes.
2257416
That is alright- although I can still post the results if you're interested?
2257495 i just think that seeing them would be fasinating as well as your methodology