• Published 12th Jun 2012
  • 2,977 Views, 70 Comments

The Mailmare And I - MaxBeezy



A Writer travels to Ponyville, and starts an unlikely relationship with Derpy Hooves.

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Aftermath And Return

I awoke in a cold room. The walls were white, and the floor was dark grey. I recognized the type of room with no problem; this was a hospital room. My right eye had a bandage over it, as I touched the bandage with my hoof, I sighed, not out of annoyance, as sighs are usually associated with, but out of relief. That relief was soon halted when I pressed further, and realized that without a right eye, whatever was left hurt a lot. Kind of stupid to do so on retrospect, but that’s how it went; one moment you’re going into an operation, the next, you’re poking at your now empty eye socket like a moron.

Looking around the room, it was dark; either the lights were off, or it was night time. Did the operation really take that long? I hoped Derpy was okay; maybe she’s still being treated, Eagle Eyes did have to make my right eye as perfect as Derpy’s left. I will give this room one thing though, the bed was extremely comfortable, compared to Ponyville General’s beds.

The door at the end of room opened, and out came Eagle Eyes. She saw that I was awake, and walked over to my bed.

“You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“Like I just lost an eye, Doc.”

“I assume so.” she chuckled, “How are you otherwise?”

“Where’s Ditzy?” I asked, choosing to stick with Derpy’s real name when speaking to the Doctor. “Is she okay? Did the operation…”

“She’s fine.” Eagle Eyes interrupted, “The operation went by smoothly. There were no complications.”

“Oh, thank Celestia.” I sunk back into my bed, more relaxed than I was before. “Where is she now?”

“She’s in recovery, still asleep. We just finished the operation with her only an hour ago. We won’t know the results until morning.”

Morning. So it was nighttime.

“Can I see her? I want to be there when she wakes up.”

“The effects of the anesthesia might affect your walking ability. I could get a wheelchair.”

“No, I can do this.”

I couldn’t. The moment my hooves hit the bottom, the numbness took hold, and I stumbled onto the floor, face first. Though I couldn’t see her, I imagined Eagle Eyes was laughing on the inside at the sight of my flank in the air.

“On second thought, a wheelchair sounds nice.” I said, after removing my face from the floor.

I was wheeled into Derpy’s room, after a couple of tries getting my still numb self in the chair. For an instant, I was reminded of the time I saw her in the hospital room after the accident. I had to tell myself that this wasn’t the case here. The look on her face while she slept wasn’t one of pain, but of calm and peacefulness. The Nurse pushed my chair over to the side of the bed, allowing me to hold her left hoof with mine.

“Would you like a blanket for the night?” The Nurse asked me. I nodded my head.

I never left Derpy’s side the entire night. Like our previous experience with a hospital, I rested my head on the side of the bed, careful not to sleep on the side of my head where there is now no eye. Even only sleeping on a partial section of the bed was comfortable.

As morning approached, I felt the touch of a hoof grazing the top of my mane. I lift my head up to see Derpy, with a tired smile, looking at me.

“Hey.” she said, in good spirits, “What time is it?”

I looked at the window to see the sun rising.

“It’s morning.”

“How long have you been here?”

“The entire night.” I see her bandage around her eye. “Hey…” I chuckled. “We’re bandage buddies.”

It took a bit for her to remember, but soon, she was able to recall her saying that to me when I was in the hospital. Just like me though, it was difficult to laugh, the effects of the anesthetics still wearing her down.

“Did it work?” she asked.

“I don’t know. We’ll know soon enough.”

She seemed parched, so I got her some water. In a couple hours, the medication wore off, and she was back to normal. Well, as normal as she could be, since she was unsure about the results of the surgery.

Once it was fully morning, Eagle Eyes came into the room.

“Ah, both of you are awake, good. How are we feeling, Ditzy?”

“I feel okay. Just a little anxious, that’s all.”

“That’s quite normal, considering your condition. Enough time has passed since the operation for the transfer to take effect. Would you like me to open the bandages?”

“…Y-yes.” Derpy hesitated. She held on to my hoof. If she had fingers, I’d imagine she’d be gripping it tightly.

“Close your eye, Ditzy. I’m going to cut open the bandage.” Derpy does so.

Eagle Eyes cut the cloth using one of her talons. Slowly and carefully, she unwrapped the bandage layer by layer. The anticipation was killing both of us. Finally, the bandage was fully unwrapped, and off Derpy’s head.

“Okay Ditzy, I want you to open your eyes…slowly.”

Derpy nods in response, but she’s stalling. After a long pause, she slowly opens her eyes.

“Gently…gently…” Eagle Eyes went on.

Her eyes are fully open. Derpy gasps as tears begin to well up in her eyes.

The operation…was a success. Her eyes were as straight as an arrow now, and she could see normally. The difference to her was instantaneous. She gently tapped at the bottom of her eye, still in disbelief that it worked.

“I want a mirror, now!” she demanded. Eagle Eyes was quick to hold a mirror to Derpy. She looked carefully at her new eye. She examined the results, looking at how straight it was. Tears are pouring out of her eyes. She looked back to me. “What do you think?”

I admired her new look. On the left, was her normal, blonde colored eye, on the right, was my dark blue eye. I didn’t think anything of my eyes when I would look at them in the mirror, as I never thought I was much to look at to begin with, but seeing it on her was positively stunning.

“You look…gorgeous.” I said. Derpy took hold of me and kissed me hard.

“Thank you!” she said, saying it again and again between kisses. Eagle Eyes was happy to see the results end up favorably, but she had to separate us out of our kissing frenzy.

“Okay, okay, settle down.” she said. “There’s still one more thing we have to discuss.”

“I’ll give you the bits by tomorrow.” I told her, assuming it was about the currency.

“No, it’s about your situation.”

“What do you mean?” I wondered.

“We can’t have you walk around with an empty eye socket for everypony to see. So, would you like an eye patch, or a glass eye?”

The choice was easy for me.

“Eye patch, definitely.” Me and Derpy laughed at that, while Eagle Eyes understandably didn’t get the reference.

Within another day, we were let go from the Hospital. I paid Eagle Eyes in full for the operations, plus a little something extra for her willingness to help us out.


We journeyed back to Ponyville, ecstatic to tell our friends the news. I admired Derpy's eyes, while she couldn't take her eyes off of my new look. I was now wearing an eye patch, and glasses over my other eye.

"Are you sure you didn't want her fixing the other eye?" she asked.

"Nah, I think I look pretty cool as a nerdy pirate. Don't you think?"

"I think you look handsome." she said. I blushed. I've never been called handsome before.

Even after all that, though, I could see that Derpy was still nervous.

“What’s the matter?” I asked her, “Aren’t you excited?”

“Of course, I am.” she said, “I just don’t know how the others are going to react. I’ve had this condition for so long, that I…”

I silenced her, putting my hoof over her mouth.

“They’re going to love you. I know it.”

We arrived at the station. Like at Manehattan, I opted to carry both bags, but Derpy decided to carry her own. As we were making our way back, we got a few turned heads.

“Is that Derpy Hooves?” One pony sitting oddly on a bench said.

“It sure looks like her.” Another said.

“There’s something different about her. Did she do something with her mane?”

More and more, we had turned heads. More and more, the same question about the identity of Derpy was uttered. We were barely halfway to the house, when we turned to see a crowd has gathered behind us. Derpy looked down, embarrassed, thinking everypony is judging her in a negative fashion.

Just then, out of the crowd came Dinky. She walked up to her sister, slowly, taking in her new appearance in stride. When she reached Derpy, she looked into her repaired eyes, with all the curiosity that could be seen in a filly.

“Ditzy?” she said. Derpy nodded her head. “You’re beautiful.”

Dinky hugged her sister tightly, with all the love she could ever have for her. Dinky looked at me, and my eye patch, knowing what I did to help her.

“Thank you.” she told me. I simply nodded in acceptance.

Then, Big Mac came bursting from the crowd. Seeing us, seeing Derpy’s new look, as well as mine.

“You’re back!” He yelled.

He ran to us, and hugged all three of us simultaneously. That was the death hug that I missed.

“We missed you too…Big Mac…” I wheezed. “Now…please…”

He let go. We had a good laugh at that.


In the couple weeks that followed, we were once again the talk of the town. Rumors spread about how Derpy was cured of her condition, and how my eye replaced hers. Some were more fantastical, saying that we encountered a witch in the Everfree Forest, and made some kind of deal at a great price. Some were more horrifying, with them thinking that Derpy was mad at me, so decided to rip my eye out, and perform the surgery herself. I told them the real story, but the rumors still were the more popular ones, I guess a story without magic or violence was less interesting to them.

As for Derpy, she was happier than she ever was. Her work had improved exponentially, and the amount of accidents went from frequent, to none at all. I started my writing again, and during my breaks, I read up on Derpy’s cookbooks, seeing if I could try my hoof at making muffins. It turned out to be harder than I thought, especially with no more depth perception.

I tasted the muffins myself; it started off horribly, but got better and better with each passing attempt. Derpy was there to help with any burns that I had; now I was the clumsy one, and she was the one fixing me.

Then came…her birthday.

Yeah, I know I just sounded ominous in that sentence, but trust me; it’s not that kind of story.

Her Birthday fell on a Tuesday, a day where she had work. I had all the time I needed to prepare. I worked hard on her meal, dessert, and present, and I wasn’t going to blow it.

She came home late, around seven, when she saw me at the table, patiently waiting for her.

“I’m so sorry.” she said, “I had a big delivery today.”

“It’s okay.” I assured her. “Happy Birthday.” I kissed her on the cheek. She gasped.

“Oh my…I completely forgot about my birthday.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t. Sit down.” The similarities to my birthday were astounding.

Derpy sat down at the table. Since I didn’t have a wing, I had to cover her meal with a cloth. I uncovered it to reveal the first thing I had ever made for her, my famous scrambled egg breakfast. She clapped her hooves with delight.

“I’ve missed your scrambled eggs!” she announced. She dug right in. When she was finished, it was time for her dessert.

I placed the plate down, and uncovered a blueberry muffin.

“You made me a muffin?” she said, wide eyed in surprise.

“It wasn’t easy, due to being a terrible cook with no depth perception.” I joked. “Be honest with me, don’t hold anything back.”

She took a bite out of the muffin. She slowly took in every bite. She didn’t vomit, so that was already a good sign. After what felt like minutes of chewing, she swallowed the muffin chunk. Thinking for a couple more moments, she said…

“That was…really good!”

“I told you to be honest with me.”

“No! I really am! It was good!”

“But not as good as yours, though.”

“Well…no.” We both laughed. I appreciated her honesty. “But you’re getting there, I swear!”

“Okay. I want you to close your eyes for this one. It’s time for your present.”

“A present? Please, what you’ve given me already was more than enough.”

She motions to her eye.

“Not to me. Close your eyes.”

She does so. Chuckling at the thought of what it could be.

“No peeking”

“I’m not.”

I trot upstairs into my office, and pull a box out of my desk. Trotting back down, I nearly trip, but I managed to get my footing okay. I placed the box down. She still had her eyes closed.

“Okay, now open them.”

She opened her eyes to look at the box. It was the same box that she gave me after our first meeting.

“More muffins?” she inquired.

“Open it up.”

She opens up the box. Her eyes widen, wider than they have ever been since I have known her. Inside the box…was a wedding band.

“Is…is this…?” She can’t believe it.

“I was going to give it to you on our one year anniversary…but I thought tonight would be better.”

Her eyes water, crying tears of joy.

“How…when did you get this?”

“When I first went to Manehattan. I figured if I didn’t find anypony there to help, I didn’t want to leave empty hooved.”

Full apology, dear reader. I didn't want to reveal that I got her a wedding band when I was in Manehattan. Besides, if you knew where the story was going to go, where would the fun be in getting there?

“So…even before…?”

“Yes. Even before.” I kneeled before her. Her tears came quickly, she knew what was coming. “Ditzy Doo…” She smiled; this is the first time I’ve called her by her real name. “The past year with you…has been the greatest experience I have ever been through. We had our good times, and bad, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in all of Equestria. Now, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Her mouth was agape, but her smile remained. She was stunned, and speechless. Suddenly, she stammered, like she thought she said something, but realizing she didn’t.

“YES!” she shouted, “Sweet Celestia, yes! Of course I’ll marry you! Oh my gosh!”

She lunged, embracing my so hard, we both fell toppled onto the floor. She was laughing at our current position, but still in tears. We kissed passionately, until finally, we simply just laid there. She was still on top of me, not a bad position to be in, I must admit. We looked into each others eyes, as if doing so for the very first time.

“I love you.” she says, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. With all of my heart.”

She placed her head on my chest, and rested there, listening to my heartbeat, and then falling to sleep in a matter of minutes. I carried her over to bed, and placed her gently on her side. I moved up behind her, and embraced her. I put the wedding band on her hoof, and kissed the top of her mane, before going to sleep, myself.

It was the best sleep I ever had in my entire life.