• Published 12th Jun 2012
  • 2,976 Views, 70 Comments

The Mailmare And I - MaxBeezy



A Writer travels to Ponyville, and starts an unlikely relationship with Derpy Hooves.

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Operation(s)

A new day was upon us. The sun was shining brightly through the window by the bed, and right into my eyes. I was the first to wake up. I found myself huddled behind Derpy, with my forelegs wrapped around her back, resting on her chest. I watched her sleep peacefully, as I remembered the unforgettable night we just shared together. As I brushed my hoof on her mane, her eyes slowly opened up, and yawned at the morning sun. She looked up at me staring down at her. She smiled.

“Good morning.” she said, still groggy from the sleep.

“How are you?” I asked.

“I’m fine.” she replied. As she rolls over to face me, a wince falls upon her. It’s her still bandaged wing. I stop her from moving. “It’s alright.” she says.. “It comes and goes.”

“Are you ready for today?”

“I think so.” she hesitates, “I’m a little nervous.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” she yawns again, “Oh my, I’m still a bit sleepy.”

“The first train doesn’t leave for another hour. We could stay in bed a little longer, if you like.”

“Can we now?” she said, in a playful tone of voice. “Well, I guess maybe a couple more minutes couldn’t hurt.”

I make my way on top of her as we kissed. We were getting into it until…

Knock knock. Somepony was at the door.

I ignored it at first, thinking it could probably be a door to door sales pony.

Knock knock. We heard it again.

“There’s somepony at the door.” Derpy said, breaking away from our kiss. I sighed in frustration, forcefully removing myself from the bed, much to Derpy’s amusement.

I opened the door soon after, to see Big Mac on the other side. His eyes widen, not expecting to see me so soon.

“YOU’RE BACK!” He yelled in happiness. He was about the give me one of his death hugs, when he stopped himself. Instead, he gave me a simple pat on the mane. I chuckled at that.

“It’s good to see you, Big Mac.”

“Likewise mah friend. When did ya get back?”

“Just yesterday.”

“Morning Big Macintosh!” Derpy yelled from the bedroom.

“Morning Miss Hooves!” He looks behind me to see her, but she wasn’t there. “Where is she?”

“She’s in bed. We had a bit of a long night.”

“Oh.” Big Mac thinks for a few moments, and he comes to a sudden realization. I don’t think it was possible, but his cheeks became redder than usual. “Oh! My apologies, I didn’t mean ta…”

“Big Mac, it’s okay.”

“So, did ya find what you were looking fer?” he asked quietly.

“There’s no need to be silent. I told her everything. To answer your question, I did.”

“That’s great! When are ya two returning to Manehattan?”

“Later today.”

“Today?” he sounded disappointed, “But ya'll just got back!”

“I know. But we shouldn’t be gone too long.”

“Awww…okay. I guess I leave you two ta pack.”

Before he could leave, I tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to turn back around.

“Big Mac? Thank you, for taking care of Derpy, when I was away.”

“Eeeeyup!” he said, “That’s what friends are for, right?”

He gave me another head pat, as he then trotted away. It was nice seeing him again. I never asked him about the rose garden in the front, but I guess there was no real need to ask. We had bigger matters to attend to. It didn’t take long for Derpy to get out of bed and pack her things, just in case we had to stay in the city longer than expected. I made my classic egg breakfast, which we both gobbled down without breaking a sweat. In less than a half hour, we were out the door, and ready to go to Manehattan.


The return trip was much nicer than the initial one, mainly because I wasn’t alone this time around. I could see that Derpy was still nervous, but would always smile, and dismiss it whenever I would question it. She put on an extremely brave face, which was rather admirable.

We arrived in Manehattan in what felt like a short while. Derpy looked around, unfamiliar with the city around her. She saw that the things I told her about the city back in Ponyville, were entirely true. The crowds, the noise, everything. She stepped off the train, barely able to cope with the change of location; I took the liberty of carrying both her luggage and mine on my back, so she could get as comfortable as possible, as we made our way to the hotel. We stayed at the same hotel that I was at merely a couple days ago, due to it being so close to the Crystal Clear clinic. Heck, for a second, I thought it was the same exact room, until a quick glace in the trash showed no sign of that ominous receipt that I found on my first visit. Of course, it was probably taken out by the Maid when I left.

“How do you like the view?” I asked, seeing Derpy look out the window.

“It’s really high.”

“Really? Farther up than you’ve flown before?”

“Much farther.” she nodded. Carefully, she backed away from the window

Derpy chose not to see the doctor on the day we arrived. Instead, she opted to take a bath, and spend the rest of the day in the hotel. I wanted to give her all the time she needed, in no way wanting to rush things. We spent the night watching some bad movies on the television. We had a few laughs, sure, but I could still see the distressed look on her face, no matter how well she tried to hide it. I could feel her shaking, as we slept in bed. She wasn’t cold, but she was scared. I held her close as much as I could, which subsided her shakes, but only by a little.


Derpy woke me up early the next morning, practically forcing me out of my slumber; she was shaking the bed so hard. When I opened my eyes, I saw that she was already prepared to go.

“Somepony looks ready.” I said.

“I felt bad for not going yesterday so I wanted to get up as early as possible.” she said in a quick manner. I look behind her to see a tray which held a cup, and a pot full of coffee.

“I didn’t know you drank coffee.”

“I don’t. I just went to the café downstairs and asked ‘hey what’s the best way of waking up?’ and the guy there gave me this tray of coffee so I drank it and it tasted funny but I kept drinking it and now I’m ready to go so let’s go go go go go!” She said with such quickness, that once again, her statement had a severe lack of commas.

She bounced up and down the hallway, as I trudged my way through it to get to the elevator. The ride down was similarly bouncy, so was walking through the lobby, with the other ponies watching us, namely her, as we made our way out.

It wasn’t until we were at the front door of Crystal Clear, that the coffee’s effects on her began to subside. She held her head, dizzy from the rush that she received. Looking up, she saw the sign to the place, and let out a loud gulp.

“This is it, isn’t it?” she asked.

“Yes, it is. Moment of truth.” I said, as I put my foreleg around her, “You ready?”

She looked at me, then back at the front door, then back to me again. After playing the back and forth game for a while, she smiles.

“Let’s do it.” she said, Her fears extinguished in a three word sentence.

We were led into Eagle Eyes’ office, and waited for her to arrive. Every so often, I would glance at Derpy, no longer was the look of nervousness on her face like the day before, but a combination of determination, and anxiety. She tapped her hoof on the floor in a rapid pace; one could assume a woodpecker was in the room with us.

Not fifteen minutes had passed, and Eagle Eyes came in. Derpy stopped with the tapping, and sat back, like she wasn’t doing anything. The good Doctor greeted me, telling me it was nice to see me again, before turning her attention to Derpy.

“You must be Ditzy Doo. It’s so nice to meet you.” she said, shaking Derpy’s hoof. “If you don’t mind me saying, but the pictures that were shown to me do you no justice.”

“Umm…thanks.” Derpy blushed. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Well, I’m sure you’re wondering how we’re going to go about this.” Eagle Eyes wasted no time to get into the procedure. “First, we’re going to do a series of tests, a couple x-rays, and finally and eye exam. It will all be completely painless, so you don’t have to worry about shots. Afterwards, I’m going to evaluate what would be the best course of action. Is that all clear, Ditzy?”

“Yes, doctor.”

“Please, just call me Eagle Eyes.”

“Can you come with me?” Derpy turned to me and asked. I wasn’t going to say no. I tend to keep my promises.

I stayed with her for every test that she went through. From a ‘follow the light’ test, to reading letters on a board from a distance, Derpy tried it all. As each test passed by, distress returned. It was hard to keep her still during the x-ray, she was shaking so much. Eagle Eyes was trying her best to calm her, but she was too skittish to continue. When she looked away, I took the opportunity to calm Derpy the way I knew how, by planting a small, romantic kiss on her lips. In an instant, she calmed down, and the Doctor was none the wiser.

It took nearly half the day to get through the tests and the exams, and we were right back where we started at the end of it; in Eagle Eyes office.

“You were great.” I assured Derpy.

“I was getting so scared. Thank you for staying.”

“I told you, I’m staying with you every step of the way.”

As she smiled back at me, Eagle Eyes returned with the results. As she sat down by her office table, we both noticed the same thing; Eagle Eyes didn’t look happy.

“What’s the matter?” Derpy was the first to ask.

“The results were…what I was afraid of.”

“Please…” Derpy said, “Don’t hold back.”

“It appears that, from the x-rays, you suffer from a very rare birth defect, where your right eye is deformed, misshapen to the point where it’s not possible to do any corrective surgery.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“If we try to remove or lessen the problem areas of her eye; it will quote on quote 'heal itself', and be restored to what it initially was.”

“What…what are the options?” asked Derpy, "ARE there any options?"

“There are three options. Either leave it the way it is now, remove it completely, or…a transplant.”

“A transplant?”

“We remove your eye, and replace it with a donor. This one is risky. I’ve done it before, but it’s a special case. Finding a donor is the hardest part. It could take weeks, maybe months for somepony to...”

“I’ll do it.” I quickly interrupted. The two of them looked at me, but I paid attention more to the look of fright on Derpy’s face. “I’ll give you my eye.” I don't know what scared her more; that I had volunteered to give her my right eye, or that I said it with no second thoughts whatsoever.

“W-what?” Derpy said, “But…you can’t!”

“She’s right.” Eagle Eyes continued, “Aside from the defect, her eyes have perfect vision. In order for it to work, I’d have to perform surgery on your eye to make it suitable for her, and that will cost more…”

“Bits don’t matter to me. I can afford it.” I told the truth. With all the work I had done in the past few months, I had more than enough.

“It’s your call, Ditzy.”

I looked at Derpy, with all the sincerity I could muster. I knew she wanted to say no, and I didn’t blame her. This was a risky operation, one that could very well end with both of us missing an eye, but I was going to do whatever it took to make her happy, and she knew that just by looking at me.

“O-Okay.” she said to Eagle Eyes.

“Alright. I’ll get the paperwork, and we’ll start tomorrow…unless you want more time to prepare.”

“No. Tomorrow is fine.”

“Okay.” Eagle Eyes left, and Derpy looked at me. Whatever worries she had about herself were directly placed on me.

“It’s okay.” I told her, “This is why I have two eyes.”

She chuckled, but only slightly. I could see a single tear go down her cheek as she rested her head onto mine.


That night, she embraced me tighter than she ever had before as we rested back at the hotel.

“Can’t sleep?” I asked her.

“No. You?”

“Me neither.”

“What if something goes wrong and we both have one eye?” A plausible question.

“Well, I hear there’s an opening in the pirate business.”

Derpy loudly laughs in response. I hadn’t heard her laugh like that in a long time. Considering the situation, it was refreshing.

“That’s not funny!” she said, still laughing.

“Then why are you laughing?” I asked her, her laugh taking hold of me, causing me to laugh as well.

“I don’t know…” she calmed down. After a couple moments of silence, she said “So, who would be the captain?”

“Obviously, you would be the captain.”

“No, I’m too dumb to be the captain.”

“You are many things Derpy Hooves, dumb is not one of them. You would be the captain, and I would be your loyal first mate.”

“So, you would get to do whatever I asked of you?”

“Exactly. Whatever you like.”

Derpy liked this idea. From the look of things, a little too much.

“What would our ships’ name be?” She soon asked.

“That’s a tough one.” I said, thinking about possible names. “How about the SS Muffin Maker?”

“That’s a silly name!” she disagreed.

“It was either that, or the SS Big Rump.”

“You said I didn’t have a big rump!” She lunged at me playfully. We tussled in the bed, pretending to fight, but we were laughing hysterically, having a good time. We both were aware, though, that this was a distraction of the events to come. I rolled on top of her, staring into her eyes, as her left stared into mine.

“Whatever happens tomorrow…you know that I’ll always love you, right?”

She caressed my cheek, as she gave me a long passionate kiss.

“You’re giving me an eye tomorrow; I don’t need any more proof that you love me.”

“Still, I wanted you to know that.”

“Trust me. I know.”


The next day was more of a blur than anything else. We woke up, and immediately got ready for the operation. We walked to the clinic, greeting Eagle Eyes, who was already there and waiting for us.

“We’re going to put you under first.” She told me. “Once your eye is in top condition, we will then start on you.” She said to Derpy. “This is the last time you two are going to see each other until the end of the operations, so..." She backed away a bit, giving us room to ourselves. Derpy, on cue, embraced me, and I embraced her.

"It'll all be okay." I told her, "It'll only be a few hours."

"I'm still going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too." I struggled to separate myself from her. She wiped the tears from her face, as I followed Eagle Eyes to the operating room.

I laid on the milky white table, as Eagle Eyes put a ventilator on my muzzle.

"I want you to count backwards from ten."

I do so. As the sleeping gas filled my lungs, I thought about Derpy, like I always tended to do. I thought about the things I said to her, and the time I spent with her. This is normally what ponies would think about if they were going to die, last thoughts and everything, but I told myself that I was going to get through this. That when I awaken, I will spend the rest of my life with her.

Of all the great gestures I could have done to show her that I loved her more than life itself, this was probably the best one.

The moment I hit "one", I was out like a light. Whatever happened next, was all in fate's hands...Eagle Eyes' too.