• Published 12th Jun 2012
  • 2,976 Views, 70 Comments

The Mailmare And I - MaxBeezy



A Writer travels to Ponyville, and starts an unlikely relationship with Derpy Hooves.

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An Unexpected Meeting

I never knew what to expect when I moved into Ponyville. Being the new pony in town is always a scary experience, at least in my humble opinion. Upon first moving in however, I got more than a few enjoyable welcomes. The folk seemed nice, I received a surprisingly inventive song from an easily excitable pink pony, and my new place was comfortable and, for the lack of better words, quite lovely. It was much better than my original place, which was an apartment in Manehattan, a city where it was all hustle and bustle, rarely any quiet moments.

In The Big Apple, I was a Journalist for the Equestrian Sun Times, not the paper with the best reputation, I must admit, but a job was a job. My job was writing articles. Some were about the state of Equestria, which was my least favorite topic, as my editors always wanted me to go more on the tragic side of things. Other times, I did informational pieces, about what’s the best play or film to see, or the restaurant of the week. What I really enjoyed, most of all, was writing stories. Every so often, my editor would allow me to write a short story, of any genre. Those were the articles I would get the most praise for. The genres I would come back to the most, were adventure, mystery, and even comedy. I always liked humor, though not many ponies were aware I even had a sense of it. I mainly kept to myself, never really stood out amongst the crowd, but I hoped that my writing would do that for me.

Even so, I always wanted to be an actual writer. Rather that write articles or shorts, I wanted to write full length books, plays, even a movie every now and again, it didn’t matter. I felt like my purpose was to tell stories, if my cutie mark was any indication. I was good at it, but I felt that I could be better, as most writers normally feel. If I just moved to someplace quieter; and that's where Ponyville came in. It was hard to think with that giant metropolis producing so much noise. A change of scenery was exactly the thing I needed to write the story I was meant to write; the one that would finally get me into the pantheons of the greats.

The only problem was, what would I write about that could span a novel, or at the very least, something in the double digit page count? A tale of witchcraft, and wizardry? How many books have been released about that one fellow, Starswirl The Bearded? I lost count. Maybe a story of pirates, sailing the seas, in search for treasure? Nah, too predictable. What about a love story? I tapped my hoof to my chin for a while, thinking about this possible scenario. The problem was, my experiences on the subject were…..less than stellar. To write a love story, without even knowing the basic principles of the emotion would be a boneheaded move on my part. I thought about other possibilities, writing down ideas, and throwing them away as quickly as I wrote them. My trash bin was full of rejected ideas within days of moving in.

As the days went on, my rations were beginning to wane, the ideas in my head were few, and I soon realized that I hadn’t even been outside ever since I moved in. As much as I liked the quiet, it was beginning to feel too quiet. I hadn’t spoken to anypony in weeks, and I was sure they had already considered me a weird anti-social hermit.

I had enough, I had to go outside. Maybe the fresh air will clear my head, and I’d be writing that masterpiece in no time.

I was barely three hoofs out of the door when I heard a voice call out to me.

“WATCH OUT!” the feminine voice said.

I had no time to do just that, as I was immediately knocked down by a grey Pegasus, her blond hair smothering my face, and my glasses fell off, landing somewhere on the ground below. Not exactly my ideal morning start.

“Oh my gosh! Are you okay, Mister?” she said, in a bubbly voice.

“Ouch! What in the hay is your problem?!” I yelled, pushing her off of me. As I got up, and found my glasses, after a brief search, I got a good look at the assailant. What I saw, was a very upset looking mare, staring at the ground in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry” she said timidly. “I didn’t mean to…”

She looked at me, but not entirely; I noticed that one of her eyes was off. While her left was looking right at me, the right seemed like it was looking at whatever was above me. I gasped in horror, afraid that our impact had given her irreversible damage. I don’t think I took it well, at all.

“SWEET CELESTIA! DID I…”

She knew what I was referring too, and immediately interrupted my shocked state.

“No, it’s fine! My eyes are always like this! Please, stop screaming!”

I stopped, embarrassed by my outburst. I shut my mouth quickly, to avoid any more yelling. Any ponies that stopped to look at me went back to what they were doing.

“I sometimes have trouble seeing, and it messes up my flying. It won’t happen again, I don’t think.”

“Don’t…don’t worry about it.” I said, feeling bad for my initial rudeness. Then again, the last thing I expected to happen to me was to get tackled to the ground. “A-are you okay otherwise?” I asked, bringing all of my attention off her eye, and strictly on her well-being. I may have been knocked down, but she was the one who crashed. Even though I was still a little annoyed, I couldn’t ignore that this mailmare might have been injured.

Upon my question, her ears perked up, followed by her head. She smiled.

“Yes! I’m fine, thank you! I’ve been through worse, believe me! Hey, are you new here? I don’t think I’ve seen you before!”

Her quick change in attitude surprised me. I didn’t know somepony could go from sad to happy so quickly, but she managed to do it without missing a beat.

“I’ve been here for a few weeks. But, this is my first time outside since moving in.”

“Oh, now I REALLY feel bad for crashing into you. I’ll make it up to you. Hey! Do you like muffins?”

“What?”

“Muffins! You bake em’ and eat em’! They’re really good! Unless you bake em’ with dirt, or earthworms, then they wouldn’t be good muffins at all! I remember when---”

Her manner of speech was so rapid-fire, that I had to stop her quick before she went on a tangent. I put my hoof up to interrupt her.

“I know what muffins are. But yeah, muffins are good.”

"That's perfect!" she yelled with enthusiasm.

Suddenly, she grabbed me, and shoved me over to a place called Sugar Cube Corner, the bakery owned by who I would know to be the Cake family. The strength on her could give even the strongest stallion a run for his bits.

Within seconds, we were in the bakery. A nice pony, named Mrs. Cake, greeted us with a warm welcome.

“Hello, Derpy! Fancy seeing you here!” Mrs. Cake said with glee.

Derpy? That was her name? A strange name, I must admit.

“Who’s your friend?” she continued.

“This is the new pony that moved in! I crashed into the poor colt when making my rounds, so I’m apologizing with a muffin!”

“Oh? Don’t you make muffins at home? They’re much better than mine.”

“Don’t be so modest, Mrs. Cake! I haven’t had time to bake, ever since I’ve been working overtime at the post office.”

“That’s a shame. You shouldn’t be working so hard, you’ll get exhausted!”

“Nonsense, I’m as energetic as ever!” she said with a great deal of confidence. I believed every word of that statement.

In a flash, Derpy pushed me over to the muffin display. There were all kinds of tasty looking treats to be found. I turned to look at her, and she nodded with a great deal of speed, excited at the prospect of giving me my first Ponyville muffin. I suddenly felt the urge to make a good impression on her, as if I myself wanted to make up for the fact that I was being a jerk to her earlier.

I made my choice.

“That one looks good.” I said, pointing at the blueberry muffin.

Mrs. Cake placed the muffin on the table, while Derpy paid for it. I tried to pay for it myself, but she wouldn’t have any of it. As I looked at the muffin, I see Derpy looking at me with absolute giddiness.

“Go on!” she said, anticipating my first bite.

I took a bite of the muffin. Saying it tasted good, would be putting it rather mildly. The perfect mixture of blueberries, and the sweetness of it all swirled in my mouth. A smile crept on my face, while Derpy opened her mouth with excitement, letting out a gasp.

“He likes it! I’m so happy!” she shouted, clapping her hooves together.

Suddenly, the watch around her hoof beeps. She gasps again, this time in shock.

“Oh my gosh! I’m late! I got to go!”

She rushed out the door, narrowly avoiding the frame, which could have left a nasty bump on her head. She was so fast, I thought I was going to witness one of those Sonic Rainbooms I’ve been hearing so much about. Alas, it was not meant to be.

I sat there in Sugar Cube Corner, shell-shocked by the encounter. I’ve met some eccentric ponies where I came from, but I’ve never met anypony quite like Derpy. In some strange, inexplicable way, I quite enjoyed meeting her. After what was the quietest few weeks of my life, maybe all I needed was a jolt to the cerebellum. It was certainly the most exciting thing that has happened to me in this town thus far.

I figured that that would be the last time I would spend any time with her, thinking that if we ever saw each other again, it would be nothing more than a passing “hello” and “goodbye.”

That’s okay, though. I needed more time to write.