• Published 12th Jun 2012
  • 2,976 Views, 70 Comments

The Mailmare And I - MaxBeezy



A Writer travels to Ponyville, and starts an unlikely relationship with Derpy Hooves.

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A Realization

I woke up to find myself in a hospital bed, with bandages all over my body, and a patch over my right eye. My vision was blurred, I couldn’t see much without my glasses, and those were utterly destroyed by my encounter with the colts. I saw what appeared to be Derpy, properly bandaged, looming over the right side of my bed, waiting for me to awaken. Looking a little closer, I could definitely see that it was her. She looked down at me, noticing that I was now awake. Her un-bandaged eye widens in happiness.

“Nurse Redheart! He’s awake!”

Immediately, a white nurse pony, whom I assumed to be this Nurse Redheart, loomed in on the left side. Both a look of relief and annoyance fell on her face.

“Thank Celestia! What were you thinking? Making this poor mare drag your sorry flank over here?”

I couldn’t say much at the time, the only things that could come out of my mouth, were a series of incomprehensible grumbles.

“Don’t break a sweat; it was only a rhetorical question. You’re on some pain medication, so you might be a little out of it for a few minutes. Understand? Just nod if you understand what I’m saying.”

I nodded. Redheart glanced at Derpy, then back at me. She laughed.

“That’s funny. You two have almost the same amount of bandages as each other.”

It was true. We both had injuries on our right eye, and more or less, the same spots on our bodies. The only difference was her wing, as I am just a regular earth pony.

“You hear that? We’re bandage buddies!” Derpy happily yells, getting close to me as she says it.

I laughed at her statement, and laughing while still incredibly injured made my sides hurt bad. The medication wasn’t exactly helping; all it was doing was making me drowsy, and preventing me from having an actual conversation with her. Nevertheless, I was surprised at the dark sense of humor that developed from her. I think she was just trying to make herself feel better, and I admired her for that.

Redheart wasn’t laughing. She shook her head, and left me and Derpy alone.

“Crazy ponies.” she said to herself as she walked away from my vision.

“Don’t listen to Redheart. It wasn’t any trouble getting you here. Honest.”

She chuckled to herself, probably remembering some amusing shenanigan that she encountered when dragging my reckless self over to the hospital. Then, her cheeks had a soft bit of red on them. She was blushing! I had never seen her blush before until that day. It was…cute.

“I want to thank you…” she said softly, “…for standing up for me. No pony has ever done that for me before.”

She looked around the hospital room, as if to make sure nopony else was looking. She leaned in close to me.

She whispered to me “I don’t know if you’ll remember this, but…”

In a swift motion, she kissed me on the cheek. If I wasn’t so injured, and still coming out of consciousness, I imagine my face would be glowing a bright crimson. It was a moment I was never going to forget.

Within the hour, I regained full consciousness, but Derpy didn’t stay with me for long at the hospital after that. She told me she had something to take care of, and that it was important.

I offered to walk her home, but Redheart forbade me from leaving for the night. No matter how much I pleaded, she wouldn’t let me leave. I’ll give her this, she may have been stubborn as a mule, but she did her job extremely well.

Nevertheless, I had no choice, but to let Derpy go.

That night in the hospital was the most unpleasant I had in Ponyville. I was in pain, the place smelled funny, I was surrounded by a closed curtain, with no view of the outside, and worse, my bed was uncomfortable. I was so used to soft fluffy beds, that the rough bed that I was in now made my wounds on my body feel even worse.

But then, I filled my thoughts with Derpy, and thinking that those moments I spent with her were the best I have had during my time here. These thoughts managed to subside the intense pain I was in. I remembered the stories I told her, the frequent muffin baskets she brought, and the bubbly personality that I found so charming.

Then, something dawned on me. That something was a feeling, a feeling that I never have felt in all of my brief existence.

“I’m….I’m in love with her.” I said to myself. “I’m in love….with Derpy!”

“That’s great, now shut up!” The patient in the bed next to me yelled.

I had no idea there was anypony else in the room. I couldn’t see anything because of that dang curtain. Now here I was, in an uncomfortable hospital bed, letting out an admission to whoever else was in the room with me. To say I was embarrassed was the understatement of the decade.

“S-sorry.” I whispered, slinking back into the bed.


The morning came, and Redheart let me go, explaining that I should keep the bandages on for a couple days. Walking home was fairly difficult; either from the bandage on my eye, that without my glasses, my vision was less than perfect, or the fact that I was still on pain medication, my sense of balance was all off during the long walk home. Luckily, it was still early in the day, and the town wasn’t packed with ponies that I would risk bumping into.

With a few close calls, I was able to get home relatively safely. Walking inside, the first thing I did was to go back to my soft, comfortable bed, and collapsed on to it, like it was the greatest thing in all of Equestria. I think I slept for the rest of the day.

The days passed, and I was getting better. The cuts were healing, and I was able to open my swollen eye, though just a little bit. I didn’t see Derpy during those days, and the thought crossed my mind that those colts went after her for revenge. I blocked all of that out, thinking that she wanted me to rest.

A full week passed, and my injuries were almost fully healed. My eye was no longer swollen, but still darkened, and my cuts and bruises were fading. The first thing I did was go back to the post office, hoping to surprise Derpy. She wasn’t there, but her boss told me that she’d been arriving every day, tired. I was relieved that she was okay, but I did wonder what had been making her so tired. Even though it was possible that my encounter with him had made him more polite, I’m pretty sure his good mood had been because Derpy was coming in to work on time.

Arriving back at the house, before I could open the door, I heard a familiar voice behind me.

“Hchhhello…”

I turn around to see Derpy, all smiles, and fully healed, with an envelope in her mouth. I wanted to tell her right there how I felt about her, but I stopped myself from saying anything I could have possibly regretted saying.

She motions me to take the envelope in her mouth, which I do so.

“Don’t open it until I leave, okay?”

“Uh, sure.” is all I replied with. It was the only thing I could reply with.

She nodded and flew away. It was good to see her wing had healed up nicely. I watched her leave until she is out of my field of vision.

Immediately, upon entering my home, I opened the envelope. Inside was a note, once again written in red crayon. “Come by the house at 7 for a surprise!” it said, followed by a crudely drawn smiley face.