Friends and Fairy Tales

by CrackedInkWell

(Of Beasts and Crowded Trains)

Author's Note:

Description and dialogue for this chapter belong to L. Frank Baum and Lewis Carroll.

By now, the party now consisted of Applejack, Toto, the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodman, and the Cowardly Lion that pressed through this dark forest. Although the ration of food has already ran out, the only source of food for her and the little dog was a basket full of nuts that the Scarecrow had clumsily gathered from last night.

The five of them continued on the road of yellow brick, the farmer hoped that she would see the sun again once they get out of the thick foliage of the forest. Yet, they have been walking on this path for days, wondering if they’ll be able to find a way out. To add to the discomfort, they heard strange noises coming from the depths of the dark woods.

“I think we’re in the country belonging to the Kalidah’s,” whispered the Lion.

“What’s a Ka-lid-ah?” the Earth Pony asked.

“They are monstrous beasts with bodies like bears and heads like tigers,” replied the Lion; “and with claws so long and sharp that they could tear me in two as easily as I could kill Toto. I’m terribly afraid of the Kalidahs.”

“Fer that, Ah wouldn’t blame ya,” Applejack commented, “Ah wouldn’t like ta meet anythin’ like that alone in a place like this either.”

Before the Lion could reply, they suddenly came up to a gulf across the road; but this one was so broad and deep that the Lion knew just by looking at it that jumping across it would not be possible.

So they all sat down to think about what was there to be done. After a serious thought, the Scarecrow suggested, “Here is a great tree, standing close to the ditch. If the Tin Woodman can chop it down, so that it will fall to the other side, we can walk across it easily.”

“That is a first rate idea,” said the Lion. “One would almost suspect you had brains in your head, instead of straw.”

“Ah’ll say,” Applejack added, “that’s actually mighty smart of ya.”

The Woodman set to work at once, and so sharp was his ax that the tree was soon chopped nearly through. Then the Lion put his strong front legs against the three and pushed with all his might. Applejack soon joined in as she bucked against the tree, and slowly the big tree tripped and fell with a crash across the ditch, with its top branches on the other side.

“Well that was easier than Ah thought,” the mare said as she, along with her new friends began walking on their improvised bridge. But just as they started to cross, they heard a sharp growl that made them turn, and to their horror, they saw two growling beasts with bodies of bears and heads of tigers running towards them.

“They are the Kalidahs!” said the Cowardly Lion, beginning to tremble.

“Quick!” cried the Scarecrow, “let us cross over.”

Thus the group made a mad dash over to the other side. The Lion, however, being the last in line and was afraid, turned to the Kalidahs , and then gave a powerful and terrible roar that made Applejack scream, the Scarecrow to fall over backward, and even the frightening beasts stopped short in surprise.

But seeing that they were clearly bigger than the Lion and that there was two of them and only one of him, the Kalidahs rushed forward while the Lion ran across the fallen tree to the other side. However, the beasts began to cross the bridge as well, and the Lion said to Applejack, “We are lost, for they will surely tear us to pieces with their sharp claws. But stand close behind me, and I will fight them as long as I am alive.”

“Wait a minute!” called the Scarecrow. He turned to the Tin Woodman, “Can you cut this side of the tree as well?”

The Woodman began to use his axe at once, and just as the two Kalidahs were nearly across, the tree fell with a crash into the gulf, carrying the ugly, snarling brutes with it, and both were dashed to pieces on the sharp rocks at the bottom.

“Phew!” Applejack said, “That was some quick thinkin’ Scarecrow.”

“Well,” the Cowardly Lion said, after drawing a long breath of relief. “I see we are going to live a little while longer, and I am glad of it, for it must be a very uncomfortable thing not to be alive. Those creatures frighten me so badly that my heart is beating yet.”

“Ah,” said the Tin Woodman sadly, “I wish I had a heart to beat.”

“Oh quit it you two,” the mare told them, “You both had kept us safe, so that ought ta count fer somethin’. The point is nopony’s hurt and that’s all it matters. Now let’s get a move on, there’s no tellin’ what else might come if we wait here.”

_*_

“Tickets, please!” said the Guard, putting his head in at the window. Before Fluttershy knew it, everyone was holding out a ticket: they were about the same size as the people holding them, and seemed to crowd the carriage.

“Now then! Show your ticket, child!" The Guard went on, looking angrily at the Pegasus.

It was then that Fluttershy heard a tiny voice that although she could hear it clearly; she had no idea where it was coming from. “Don’t keep him waiting, child! Why, his time is worth a thousand pounds a minute!”

“I… I’m afraid nopony’s given me one,” the yellow pony said in a frighten tone. “I didn’t see a ticket-office on the way here.”

“There wasn’t room for one where she came from,” the little voice cried. “The land there is worth a thousand pounds an inch!”

“Don’t make excuses,” said the Guard: “you should have bought one from the engine driver.”

“The man that drives the engine?” the tiny voice questioned. “Why, the smoke alone is worth a thousand pounds a puff!”

“Then I guess there’s no use in talking out of this,” Fluttershy said softly.

“Better to say nothing at all,” the voice agreed. “Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!”

All this time, the Guard was looking at her, at first it was through a telescope, then a microscope, and then settled on a pair of opera-glasses. At last, he said, “You’re travelling the wrong way,” and shut up the window and went away.

“So young a child,” said the gentleman sitting opposite to her who was dressed in white paper, “ought to know which way she’s going, even if she doesn’t know her own name!”

A Goat that was sitting next to the gentleman in white said loudly, “she ought to know her way to the ticket-office, even if she doesn’t know her alphabet!”

Next to the Goat was a Beetle, and it would seem that it was his turn to speak, “She’ll have to go back from here as luggage!”

Fluttershy couldn’t see who was sitting next to the Beetle but had a hoarse voice spoke next. “Change engines– ” it said, and was obliged to leave off.

“He sounded rather hoarse,” she said to herself.

“You might make a joke on that,” said the tiny voice in her ear, “something about ‘horse’ and ‘hoarse,’ you know.”

Then a very gentle voice in the distance said, “She must be labelled ‘Lass, with care,’ you know.”

And a good many deal of voices went on, saying things like: “She must go by post, as she’s got a head on her-”

“She must be sent as a message by the telegraph-”

“She must draw the train herself the rest of the way-” and so on.

But the gentleman dressed in paper leaned forward and whispered in Fluttershy’s ear, “Never mind what they all say, my dear, but take a return-ticket every time the train stops.”

“I don’t think I can,” the mare said impatiently. “I don’t think I belong on this train at all. I was in a forest a moment ago; I wish I could get back there.”

“You might make a joke on that,” said the little voice, “something about ‘you wood if you could,’ you know.”

“Don’t tease,” Fluttershy looked around to find the source of the voice. “if you want to start cracking jokes, why don’t you make them yourself?”

She heard a deep sigh that somehow tickled her ear, “I know you are a friend,” it went on: “a dear friend, and an old friend. And you won’t hurt me, though I am an insect.”

“What kind of insect?”

“What? Then you don’t know that I’m a –” it began, but it was suddenly drowned out over the shrilling scream of the steam engine, and everyone in the car jumped.

Fluttershy felt the entire car shook, she covered her ears over the loud noise and closed her eyes at the thought she was about to enter into a crash.

“– then you don’t like all insects then?”

The mare opened her eyes to find that she was no longer in a noisy car but sitting underneath a tree. Above her, she found the voice that was coming from a Gnat about the size of a chicken.

“I… I don’t mind them all that much.” She answered, “I never knew any that could talk as clearly as you can compare to where I come from.”

“What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where you come from?” the bug required.

“I don’t rejoice in insects,” she confessed, “it’s because I’m afraid of some of them – or at least the larger kinds. Not that I’m afraid of you, for you seem nice enough. I could tell you the names of them if you like.”

“Of course they answer to their names?” the Gnat remarked carelessly.

Fluttershy blinked, “I never knew any that do.”

“What’s the use of their having names, if they won’t answer to them?”

She shrugged, “No use to them maybe. But it is useful to ponies who name them, I think. Then again…” she put a hoof to her chin, “Why do things have names at all?”

“I can’t say. Further on, in the wood down there, they’ve no names – however, go on with your list of insects: you’re wasting time.”

Comments

[Skye Mist]

In this twisted world of Wonderland,
There is nary a place where you can stand
Without tumbling and bumbling into a tizzy,
It makes you absolutely dizzy!
The quickest way to travel to this world of surprise,
All it takes is a simple leap, I surmise
Just remember to land right,
As the fall is a great height
Strange creatures, left and right, up and down
Oh my, is that one wearing a gown?
In this twisted world of Wonderland,
I wonder, will you find it grand?

I feel so accomplished. Cam up with that in under 5 mins.