Friends and Fairy Tales

by CrackedInkWell

(The Bird Woman)

Author's Note:

The dialogue of the Banks children, the Bird Woman and details in the following chapter belong to P. L. Travers.

‘How long is Celestia going to make me go through this,’ the Prince thought, ‘After all, it’s been several weeks for crying out loud!’ Once again, he stopped at another shop window to catch his reflection. In truth, he was barely getting over the fact that not only is he wearing a dress, but a plain dark blue one that came with a white apron, a black overcoat and a pink scarf. In fact, during his time being a “nanny,” in a place called “London,” that’s crawling with “humans,” he was very surprised at the fact that no one was ever curious of the fact that the only talking unicorn stallion in this town was wearing a dress.

At least he could be a little thankful that he was able to buy a new hat with pink roses. Personally he would prefer to have something that suited for the stallion, but considering the fact that the one who sold that hat saw him as a human woman, he decided to just play along until this punishment was over.

‘Come to think of it, why is she angry at me for?’ he wondered as he walked between the two of the four children he was assigned to be taken care of. ‘I have done everything they wanted when it comes to negotiations and greeting foreign ambassadors. But what stretch of the imagination did I do to deserve this?’

The children, Jane and Michael, seemed very excited today. For Blueblood, he didn’t get it. Their mother had agreed to see their father to join him for tea and something called “shortbread fingers,” when Mr. Banks is given a break. At this point where he discovered that he could slide up from a stair’s railing, have given the children (as well as himself) some medicine that for him tasted like Crème Brûlée, was able to spend the day inside a chalk drawing on his day off, spend time levitating in a room filled with laughing gas with somepony named Mr. Wigg, could understand what dogs are saying perfectly, had to tell the children a story about a dancing cow, and when Michael decided to be a brat founded a compass that could take them to all four corners of the world… he decided to just give into the madness until it all washes over.

By now, they came to a building that is just as a mystery to him as much as he somehow knew the name of it. St. Paul’s Cathedral, or as it was known by its builder who shared the name of a bird. Perhaps that’s why there’ always so many birds that come here: Sir Christopher Wren’s Cathedral.

“There she is!” cried Michael suddenly, Blueblood looked down at him in his excitement in which he was dancing on his toes, pointing. Looking to what gotten him and Jane so excited, he found on the steps of the cathedral. There was a woman who might be as old as the building was sitting there. Flocks of birds roamed around and on her old clothes with a basket that lay on her lap.

“Don’t point Michael,” he said, giving a last glance at the pink roses from the window of a carpet shop.

“She’s saying it! She’s saying it!” cried Jane, holding tightly to herself out of delight.

As they got closer to the steps, the Prince could hear the call from the old woman, “Feed the Birds, Tuppence a Bag!” she chanted this, over, and over, and over, and over as if she was singing a song that has no beginning or ending. “Feed the Birds, Tuppence a Bag!” As she said this, she held out a bag of breadcrumbs to anyone passing by. “Feed the Birds, Tuppence a Bag!”

While Michael went up, Blueblood could only look on in confusion. Why would these children be excited about this for? After all, it’s just an old homeless woman selling bags of crumbs and a fleet of unclean birds of many shapes and sizes swarming around their only food source.

The boy handed the lady four halfpennies to her. “Feed the Birds, Tuppence a Bag!” said the Bird Woman, as she traded the bag for the coins that she puts it away into her large black skirt.

“Why don’t you have penny bags?” asked Michael. “Then I could buy two.”

“Feed the Birds, Tuppence a Bag!” it was here that the Prince wondered if that’s really all the lady was capable of saying.

‘Well, at least it explains why she’s out here,’ he thought.

After the bag of crumbs was divided out, Jane, Michael and Blueblood spread the crumbs into a circle on the ground, and slowly, one by one at first, then in twos and threes, the birds came down from St. Paul’s.

From them, there was pushing, scrambling and shouting from the birds. The Prince himself admits to himself that it was impressive how quickly these feathered creatures were able to get every crumb clean off the cobbled walkways. With one fluent movement, the birds jumped up as they were certain that no more food remained and flew over to the Bird Woman’s head. Their calls and squawks echoed the endless chant of the old woman. One of them landed on the hat of the Bird Woman, as if pretending to be part of a decoration. And another mistook the Prince’s new hat for a rose garden and plucked one off.

“Hey! Off of my head!” cried Blueblood, and swung his umbrella at the bird. The pigeon, very offended, flew back to the Bird Woman and, to pay out the Prince, stuck the rose in the ribbon of the old woman’s hat. “Why you! You ought to be in a pie – that’s where you should be,” he shouted. With a huff, he turned to Jane and Michael. “Time to go,” he said, flung a parting glance of fury at the pigeon. “I believe we still need to go see your father over tea.”

Yet, the bird only laughed and flicked his tail and turned his back on him.

“Good-bye,” said Michael to the Bird Woman.

“Feed the Birds,” she replied, smiling.

“Good-bye,” said Jane.

“Tuppence a Bag!” said the Bird Woman and waved her hand.

The two children left her, walking one on either side of Prince Blueblood.

“What happens when everybody goes away – like us?” Michael asked Jane.

She looked back at the cathedral. Although irritated, the unicorn did noticed that she did had a thoughtful look. “At night when everybody goes to bed --” began Jane.

“And the stars come out,” added Michael.

“Yes, and even if they don’t – all the birds come down from the top of St. Paul’s and run very carefully all over the ground just to see there are no more crumbs left, and to tidy it up for the morning. And when they have done that --”

“You’ve forgotten the baths,” Michael interrupted. It was clear to the stallion that they were starting to make up a story.

“Oh, yes – they bath themselves and comb their wings with their claws. And when they have done that they fly three times round the head of the Bird Woman and then they settle.”

“Do they sit on her shoulders?”

“Yes, and on her hat.”

“And on her basket with the bags in it?”

‘Well of course they would,’ Blueblood thought to himself, ‘Why else wouldn’t they?’

“Yes,” Jane continued, “and some on her knee. Then she smooths down the head-feathers of each one in turn and tells it to be a good bird--”

“In the bird language?”

“Yes. And when they are all sleepy and don’t want to stay awake any longer, she spreads out her skirts, as a mother hen spreads out her wings, and the birds go creep, creep, creeping underneath. And as soon as the last one is under she settles down over them, making little brooding, nesting noises and they sleep there till the morning.”

‘Sounds a little unsanitary if you ask me,’ Blueblood thought.

Michael sighed happily. Turning up to the unicorn, he asks, “And it’s all quite true, isn’t it?”

“No,” said the Prince as he felt a strong wind coming from behind.

“Yes,” he heard Jane say.

Before he could point out all the plot holes in that little story, the wind from behind grew stronger. Looking behind and holding onto his hat, he was surprised to find that the cathedral was not only no longer in sight, but he was back on Cherry Tree Lane. Looking forward, not only were the children gone, but he found himself being blown to their front door!

Blueblood blinked, “How did I get back here?” before knocking on the red door.

A moment later, Mrs. Banks answered it, “Oh, good afternoon, you must be the new nanny?”

He blinked again, “New nanny?”

“Please come right in,” she opened the door wider, allowing the confused stallion to enter. “So, may I ask what your name is?”

“What do you mean? You already know me.”

“Marry Poppins? Well, how do you do?”

He shook his head, “What? No, I told you, it’s Prince Blueblood of Equestira.”

“You’ll find that they are very nice children,” Mrs. Banks went on. “And that they give no trouble at all. Now, about references-”

“Are you deaf?” Blueblood asked, “What’s going on? Why are you acting like this? Mrs. Banks, what’s going on?”

“But I thought it was usual,” she said. “I mean – I understood people always did.”

“Wait, didn’t you say that when I first came here?”

“Very well, then. We won’t bother about them. I only asked, of course, in case you – er –required it. The nursery is upstairs,” with that, Mrs. Banks turned to the railing and started to head up the stairs.

Blueblood watched. No, he did hear her say all of that before! She said it in the same way, in the same dress, the same jewelry. It was as if the stallion somehow went… Then a thought came to him in that moment, this is the first day he came here all over again! It was all happing again!

A force compiled the stallion to move like a puppet. Sitting on the railing, he slides up as he did on the first day. He was introduced to Jane, Michael and the Twins, just like the first day. He even unloaded his carpetbag, gave them sweet tasting medicine that tasted differently for everyone, just like the first day.

Once that was all done, Blueblood excused himself and went into the bathroom, locked the door, and screamed the only word that came to mind: “NO!”

Comments

[Skye Mist]

Oh crap, are they only repeating the most prominent scenes?