This is a first person, human in Equestria story about a young man named Travis who ends up in Equestria after taking part in a ritual he didn't wholly believe. He has to learn how to live in Equestria and deal with feelings he develops for a mare.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Here are a few potential errors I noticed.
Do you mean ‘‘some form of good’’?
Would ‘didn't’ not make more sense?
While I understand him (fancy), I admit that I don't like the idea that they do that to please the other ponies, I would have liked another motivation or them and Celestia just telling them right away to fuck of or something.
8922530 Hmmm, I don’t know how I didn’t spot that first error, thanks for spotting it. And I suppose “didn’t do” or perhaps even “haven’t done” would be better than “don’t do”.
8922655 Fancy is just putting it in simpler terms, I think. However, if the nobles and high-class ponies are satisfied with Travis, then it is less likely for them to try anything that may undermine the princesses.
Interesting! Im glad the story is picking up now in terms of the plot. Also nice to see this update again.
8923824 Yeah, I'm also glad that I'm getting to the real meat of the fic now. Since a lot of my writing happens as it comes, I don't always know the specifics of how things are going to happen. I only have an overarching and broad plan. If Fancy Pants were real, I'd thank him for giving me a good way to bring in the action.
8923850 Yes, very eventful, indeed.
8923879 I'm not quite sure yet, it's either going to be soon, otherwise a little later. I know, really vague. I hope you aren't reading it just for the clop whenever it might come, since that isn't what this story is about. It isn't a clop story, it's a romance story that will have some clop in certain moments that make sense and to progress the romance.
8923296
I know that they could get angry and try stuff like attacking them if they are crazy enough in this story, but i feel like they should try hard to not only do things to please those idiots. They should fight for them not being able to judge if Luna has the right guy as a partner or not.
In my opinion I'm usually more willing to try stuff or to see them doing stuff that seems right instead of playing it safe with or just accepting things just because they always were like that because never wanted to change it before. What I was trying to say is I see it similar for them, I like to see them not just going with what others want.
8924746 I see where you’re coming from, but in the political long game it’s way better to have the nobles on your side. Travis and Luna aren’t going to give in to any noble demands any time soon if you might be worried about that. Fancy simply suggested an option that would impress the nobles with them actually asking for anything. Also, such an idea would also impress the general population. This is all their choice still. And, also, it is contributing to the good of the kingdom.
Does it seem that Luna, and Travis are too outwardly affectionate ? Perhaps a little too "touchy-feely" ?