So I'm in Equestria? Cool.
Chapter 1
You want to know how I ended up in Equestria? Well, it all started on that one, fateful walk in the woods. The woods near my home were always a place I could go to if I ever needed to calm myself. During the last couple of years, I wound up coming here much more often than I used to in my younger years. The reason?
'Cause Imma Brony.
It all started out with that one video I found on YouTube. I was browsing through random shit and I saw it.
Smile HD.
I laughed at that video for so long. I had heard of My Little Pony before, but that was before Friendship is Magic came out. I thought it was just a little, shitty show for little girls. I actually had no idea that males watched it. Eventually, I got curious. I searched up the first couple of episodes on YouTube and watched those.
I was instantly hooked.
The whole thing was just amazing! I couldn't stop myself from watching even more. I finally worked up the courage to go to the store and buy the DVD's. I was happy that the cashier only raised an eyebrow, scanned the things and left me be. Others who saw me, well, let's just say that I was in a whole world of trouble.
That's when I started to visit the woods more often. There was something calming about that place, like there was someone looking over you, making sure that everything would be fine. Even the animals found in there were really nice. A lot of the time I would find myself in the clearing at the centre of the woods just giving the animals attention. Whether it be from petting them, playing with them or just talking with them, it was relaxing.
I eventually worked up even more courage and started buying shirts that referenced the show. At first, I just wore them around home, but I then moved to wearing them out in public. That's when it started getting worse. People would constantly laugh or pick on me for like a show meant for little girls. Even my friends sometimes mentioned it, but I just shrugged them off and told them that they can tolerate it, or go fuck themselves. Most of the time they chose to let me be. The times they kept nagging at me about it, I told them that many other things that were meant for one specific gender and age were viewed by others outside of that group.
I always won those arguments.
Anyway, back to how I got here. I was walking through the woods after getting laughed at by the school's biggest bully. Ted. Now I know, his name might sound ridiculous, but don't laugh in his face about it. He will smash yours into the closest wall. Seriously though, that guy is ripped! I swear her must lift fucking trains that's how much muscle he has! Although, he is a bit slow. Must come with all that extra weight.
Ted Jones, as his full name goes, picked on me every time he could. One time he got me riled up enough to go to strike him. I failed. Horribly. I was in hospital for a couple of days. After that I decided to learn martial arts. Let's just say that you don't want to mess with me in one-on-one.
Getting off track again, Ted had spent an hour laughing in my face about my 'fetish' with ponies. I don't have any fetishes, I just enjoy the show. I was in the forest, going through the breathing exercises I was taught to control my temper. I was nearly to the clearing when I heard the sounds of a car driving very fast.
Cars? There shouldn't be cars here... I turned around at the right time to just narrowly jump out of the way of a speeding pick-up truck. In the driver's seat, was Ted.
Fuck.
"Well, well, well. Look who it is. If it isn't Mister Pony himself. What are you doing out here all by your lonesome? Did you finally get rejected by your precious little pony fetishes?" He taunted me. I just turned around and kept walking. Ted didn't take kindly to that.
"Where do you think you're going?" He asked in a tiny fit of rage.
"Places." Was my simple response.
This only seemed to aggravate him even more as I heard the sound of an engine being revved behind me.
"The only place you're going to be is a smear on the ground!" He yelled before racing towards me in his truck. I jumped on the hood and flipped over his truck and bounded off towards the clearing in the centre.
Good thing, I'm fast as fuck. It's hard to keep up with me. Bad thing, someone in a truck can easily keep up, especially when they're going at 60 kilometres an hour.
I sprinted towards the clearing, looking for a place to hide. I couldn't find anything to hide behind and so looked behind me. I saw Ted in his truck barrelling towards me. I jump up onto the hood and stay there. I struck his windshield, cracking it, and did so again. The second time finished me my fist making a connection with Ted's nose, bloodying it. He crashed into a tree from the momentary lose of concentration, and slid out of the driver's door, landing on the ground with a thud.
He looked back to see his car banged up and smoking.
"You bastard..." He turned to me.
"You... Fucking... BASTARD!!" He lunged for my throat with outstretched hands but I sidestepped out of the way.
Ted went on a massive rampage, but only managed to lightly touch my hand. I dodged everything he threw at me until he brought out a gun.
A G17 to be exact.
This stopped me in my tracks.
"I'm sick of your shit, Pony Boy. This ends now." He brought the muzzle up to the level of my head and said one last thing;
"Goodbye, my fellow Brony."
*BANG*
*Flash*
When Ted pulled the trigger, a bright flash covered me. From my point of view, I was falling through a void of bright colours. From Ted's, I had been seemingly obliterated.
"Huh. This thing works better than I thought." He said to himself before walking off.
Meanwhile, I was screaming my lungs out as I fell through a seemingly endless tunnel of colours.
I fell, more screaming.
I fell some more, even more screaming
I fell even more, I stopped screaming and checked my watch.
Still falling, I looked around the place.
And I'm still falling, I took a container of tic-tacs out of my pocket and popped a few in my mouth.
Unbelievably still falling, finished my mints and started singing.
Somehow I'm falling still, moved to lie on my back.
FAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIII- *CRASH!*
Not anymore. I opened my eyes and found myself staring into a pair of large, golden eyes.
The fuck? I widened my area of focus and found myself looking at the face of a pony. This one had a beard and a large, blue wizard hat with stars, moons and bells on it.
My eyes widened with surprise as I realised just who I was looking at.
Starswirl... The... Bearded... But how?
"Ahh, looks like the creature has awoken." He said, seemingly to no one, in a gruff voice. It sorta sounded like Gandalf.
I sat up and saw that I had a small audience. It consisted of two Alicorns. One white, one blue. The white one had a pastel coloured mane that flowed freely and the other had a mane that flowed similarly to the other's, only it looked like the night sky with twinkling stars flashing brightly.
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.
I finally stood up to my full height and found that I easily towered over Starswirl and was easily 2 feet taller than Celestia. I was quite tall for a human, 6 foot 7, and so I wasn't too surprised that I could easily surpass them in height. Starswirl was only a bit smaller than Luna, but still small. 4 foot 1, maybe?
"Greetings, our names are-" Luna started.
"Princess Luna and Princess Celestia." I cut in and finished. I pointed to Starswirl next to me, "And this one is Starswirl the Bearded."
Luna looked annoyed at me cutting her off, but shock quickly overcame that annoyance. "Yes... That is correct. How did you know?"
I shrugged, "Reasons."
Luna was about to protest but I cut her off. Again. "I will tell you more at a later date. Now, can you tell me why I'm here?"
"Yes, of course." Celestia quickly said before Luna could protest some more. "Starswirl here had a vision. We have come to trust these visions of his, as every single one has come true, no matter how insignificant. Just recently, he had one about human's. More specifiably, you. Starswirl, would you please tell our friend here what you saw?"
"Of course, Celestia." He moved to me.
"Kneel down, if you would."
I obliged, knowing that he could force me to do it anyway. He pointed his horn at me and cast a spell, showing me exactly what he saw.
Fire rained down from the heavens as two beings struggled for dominance over one another. The easiest to notice was a colossal Centaur. The other figure, was a tall, slender, but muscular, bipedal being. It looked similar to an ape, but was easily distinguishable from one. The Centaur brought one hoof up before bringing it down on the biped, making a large crater. The biped caught the hoof and flipped the Centaur on it's back and slashed at it with a sword that seemed to be made of a rainbow crystal.
The Centaur roared in pain before charging a massive beam and firing it non-stop at the biped. Once again, the attack was met head on, but by the sword. The magical energy was absorbed into the blade before going to the biped. It roared in pain before a bright flash came from it.
I shook my head to rid myself of the after effects of that flash of light.
I looked to the Princesses. "So, you want me to do what?"
They both sighed before Celestia spoke, "We are going to try something with you. Something that has never been done before."
This got me to start sweating like it was 100 degrees. "What is it that you will do?" I ask nervously.
"We will splice chaos magic into your DNA and once your body starts reproducing it normally, we will combine that with harmonic magic. Like that of the magic the Elements of Harmony use."
I nodded at her and Celestia continued. "If we do this correctly, then we would have discovered a new type of magic, one that you exclusively can use and it will make you unstoppable." I looked at her like she was crazy. "Once you train your magic, that is." She added with a giggle.
"I'm guessing that Starswirl will teach me how to use my magic?" I ask.
"Correct." Starswirl answers this time.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Sure, fuck it. I haven't got anything to lose anymore."
I follow them through a door and into another chamber. This one was a large, circular room with a chair in the middle of it all.
Surrounding said chair was a bunch of tubes running around, connected to a couple of needles.
Fuck. I hate needles.
I moved over to the chair and sat in it before they could ask. It was like a recliner, but mostly stayed upright, and was very soft. It felt like it was made from leather but I couldn't be too sure.
I look back to them. "Now wha-" I cut off as I fall asleep.
"Was it necessary to put him to sleep, Tia?" Luna asked.
"It will be easier like this, Lulu." Celestia responded.
"If you're done over there, could you come here and help me start this operation." Starswirl butted in.
The two sisters sighed and moved to join the old stallion.
"Ugh, what happened?" I asked groggily.
"All vitals are stable, it seems that the operation was successful." I heard Gandalf's voice say.
"Gandalf, is that you?" I ask, slurring my words like I had just drunk a carton of high strength beer.
"Gandalf?"
My eyes clear up and I look around to see Celestia, Luna and Starswirl looking at me like I was crazy. I probably am to them.
"Oh, that's right, you were gonna do some crazy shit with magic and make me a fucking super soldier. I remember now!" I said with a goofy grin.
"I think he might've gone crazier than before, Tia." Luna whispered to Celestia. It wasn't meant for me to hear, but for some reason, my ears picked it up.
"I'm not crazy! Just drunk." I said, returning back to the world completely.
"Ahh, that's better." Starswirl said.
"What is?" I ask him, completely sober once more.
"Your mana reserves have completely recharged." He responded happily.
"How much is it?"
"Well, Celestia's, when she fully matures, will be around a medium sized dam at full charge. Luna's will be a bit smaller than that and your's is... pretty much an ocean."
I look at him in shock. "You're joking, right?"
"No I am not. Do you think I would joke with something like this?"
"Good point." I muttered to myself.
I look around the room and see a pile of books in the corner. I reach out for one and see my hands glow with a rainbow light as a book appears in my outstretched hand.
"Woah! What's with my hands?"
"That is your focal point for your spells. A Unicorn's or Alicorn's is their horns, your's is your hands."
"Sweet." I focus once more on the books and proceed to float them around the room.
"Hmm, it seems that you have control over basic levitation." Celestia commented.
"You sound like you were hoping to watch me crash and burn my way through it." I retort.
"...Maybe."
I shook my head at her. "You troll. I might have to start calling you Trollestia at one point."
"If only our subjects could be like that." She said with a sigh.
"Well at least I'm doing it." I told her.
"True." She responded simply.
I turn to Starswirl. "So, when we gonna start with this magic shit?"
He sighed at me. "This is going to be a long year..."
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Interesting. I'm going to enjoy this story i do believe. Mother freaking twilight firing a god lazer at terak comes to mind when i think of how much energy the character has now.
Why would any sane individual give anyone that much power without even getting to know them first. You would think that they'd at least give him a psychiatric evaluation before the procedure, even if it was just to cover their asses if word got out they did this to him.
Love this part...
And Ted a closet brony with fanatic or psychopath or sociolpath issue?
every single one
Pffffhahahahahaha
6814622 yeah pretty big plot hole right there.
I hope he sees Ted just for a minute and says "hello....is it me your looking for" and ted says wha* CRACK*" and falls to the floor unconscious.
.....?
flipped over the hood of a truck....in the first chapter. no. no. maybe if he were some 40-something martial arts grandmaster id believe it. some kid whod been doing this for a couple years? nah. dove out of the way id believe. this bollywood horseshit? god no.
7759736
Dude sometimes you just gotta let the author write because God knows half time they're not going to take our opinion into the consideration anyways. You're not Decker shadow at hand I am not a are critical or a literature critic so I don't have the qualities to judge this and really neither do you just deal with it.
Killed for being a Brony, sent to Equestria, instantly trusted by the Princesses and turned into a super soldier... Sounds good fam.
8080598 and then he calls one of them trollestia