Brony in Equestria: The Tacoing

by Omega Dracomancer

Chapter 18

Upon entering the town again, we were approached by the soldiers again. We were surrounded and I told Luna to put her hands up. "I surrender, now what do you want?" I asked.

They ran over to us and put handcuffs on us. We were escorted to a police car and we had to get in.

"Phil, what's going to happen to us?" she asked.

"Long as you stay by me, nothing. I don't know anything about Russian law, so I can't guarantee that we won't have to run."

"Stop talking back there." said a police, starting the car.

"Can I ask why she was involved in this?" I asked him.

"Assisting a criminal."

"Assuming that this criminal is me, what, pray tell, did I do?"

"That information was not given to me. All that we were told is that you were to be brought in for questioning and to be cautious."

"Huh... Sounds like that's gonna be boring." I said to myself.

Luna shifted uncomfortably and I looked at her. "Feeling alright?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"You'll be fine." I said.

"Hmmm..."

I moved my handcuffs to the front of me. "That's better."

I looked out the window, we had been in the car for an awfully long time. I noticed that there wasn't any buildings around here. "Where are we going? Nothing is out here." I asked.

He didn't answer and sped up. "Looks like it Luna." I said.

"Looks like what?"

"We're gonna have to run." I said, stopping the engine with my magic.

"What just happened?" asked the driver. He tried to start the car again, and I stopped it again. "What's going on with this thing?"

He got out and opened the hood. The other looked at us to make sure we don't do anything.

I leaned over to Luna and said, "Gimme your hands for a sec."

She moved her hand as best she could and I broke the cuffs. I snapped my own cuffs and he pulled out a gun and aimed it at Luna. He signaled for the other and he got to the door and aimed his gun at me. I put up a force field around us and kicked the door open. They fired at me and they were deflected.

I put my hand on the cover protecting the front seat and sent a shockwave through it, sending him into the windshield and knocking him out. I punched the other man out and got out of the car. I stood next to the door and helped Luna out.

I put the men back into the car and took the microphone. "Hello, is anybody listening in?"

"This is squad car 17, what do you need?"

"I found these officers unconscious in their car in the middle of nowhere."

"Are they safe?" he asked.

"Yeah, they're fine, but the engine's out. There's no heat for them."

"Copy that, remain there. Someone will be there to pick them up. Thank you for informing us."

"Yeah, no problem." I said.

I put the microphone back where it was and said, "Alright Luna, it's time to go."

"Do you know where we are going?"

"No, but if I use that detection spell again, I'm bound to find another town. Just gotta increase the power."

I activated the spell and maximized the power output. I noticed a change in one direction. "We're going that way." I said, jumping into the air.

We flew the way that I picked out and eventually we saw a few buildings. We landed and started walking into town. "We're gonna have to get some supplies while we're here." I said.

"What kind of supplies?"

"Food, water, stuff like that. It'll take us a while to get back to where the first portal is, even at top speed. Also probably clothes."

"How are we going to get those things."

"I don't know, either we get jobs or become thieves, and I don't really want to steal things."

"Yes, stealing is bad, but what jobs could we get?"

"I can think of one thing right off hand, but only a select few will read my story anymore if I say it to you."

"What?" she asked, confused.

"I could probably fight people for money." I said. "Or maybe I could apply for a legitimate job under a fake name."

"Why a fake name?"

"I'm a wanted criminal, and so are you actually."

"So what do you have in mind?"

"I'll go with Reznov. Phil is too American, I'll be found out. Luna is probably fine."

"Alright, Reznov." she said.

"Your hair would probably be a dead giveaway though." I said.

"My hair? What's wrong with my hair?"

"It's blue. Most people don't have blue hair."

"Well I don't want to change it!" she said, holding her hair.

I shrugged and said, "Don't have to."

"I can't really think of something that I can do." she said.

"Hey, hold on a second." I said, stopping.

I reached into my pocket and found my bag o' bits, It was like magic. I looked inside and saw that the bits had changed into rubles. I counted out around 6000 of them, about 200 usd. "We may not have to get a job. I just found a sizable chunk o' change." I said.

"Where did you get that?"

"Found it in my pocket, like magic. Now we have enough money to get some food." I said.

"Lucky us."

"Yeah." I said.

I took out enough for a meal and handed it to her. "Go find yourself something to eat. I'm going to put on a show that involves winning."

"Be careful."

"Eeyup."

I walked into the nearest building that looked like it could be a bar and looked at the men inside. One was bragging about how strong he was and I walked over to him. He was a big guy, maybe in his forties.

He looked at me and asked, "What do you want kid?"

"I noticed that you are strong, care to try and make some money?" I asked.

"What's the catch?"

"No catch, just beat me in arm wrestling." I said.

He started laughing and said, "You're a funny kid."

"I'm serious." I said, getting out my bag. "You have money, I have money, let's leave with one of us being richer."

He looked at me like I was still kidding. "Kid, you can't honestly think that you can win against me, can you?"

"Would you care to see, or are you going to back down from a 16 year old who wants to arm wrestle?"

"Suit yourself, just don't cry to me when you lose all of you money." he said. "How much?"

"1000 rubles." I said, taking them out of my bag.

He did the same and we set the money aside. One of his friends got it set up and we held our hands together.

"2, 1, go." said the other man.

A split second after the man said go, his hand was on the table. "Boom!" I said.

He looked at his hand, shocked and confused. "I wasn't ready that time." he said.

'Like I haven't heard that one before.' I thought.

I took the money and said, "Would you like to try again?"

He got out another thousand and I did the same. More people were watching this time and I rolled up my sleeve.

"2, 1, go."

"Boom!" I said, winning again.

Some other men tried to best me, but they all failed. I ended up leaving the bar with 10000 more rubles than I came in with. "Thanks for the nice wad of cash men, I'll be seeing you!" I said upon leaving.

I walked around and eventually found Luna walking out of a bar. She was holding a can in her hand and her face was red. She was smiling like an idiot and walking funny. "Damn it Luna, are you drunk?" I asked when I got to her.

"Hey buddy, where have you been?" she asked, putting her arm around my shoulders.

"Yup, you're wasted." I said. "We need someplace to stay tonight."

She took another drink out of her can and I grabbed it from her. "No more beer, Luna." I said.

"Hey that's mine!"

I tossed it aside and started walking, Luna still hanging off of my shoulder. "What was that stuff?" she asked.

"It's called beer, and it's bad for you. You're gonna hate yourself in the morning."

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

"Hangover."

"What's that?"

"You'll find out in the morning, but right now we have to get you someplace to lay down, or something."

We eventually got to a motel and I got us a room for two nights. "Aren't you kinda young to rent a room?" asked the person at the counter.

"Probably, but money is money." I said, paying him.

"You're right about that, son." he said, giving me a key.

"C'mon Luna, I got us a place to stay for the night." I said.

"That your mom?" he asked.

"No relation. We're not even from the same universe."

He gave me a strange look and said, "Well alright Mr. Reznov, I hope you enjoy your stay."

"Who's Reznov?" asked Luna.

"That's enough Luna, it's time to go to the room." I said.

"Is she alright?" asked the man.

"Yeah, she's just drunk." I said.

I took Luna to the room and she laid down on the bed, giggling. "My head is spinning." she said happily.

I looked at the clock, six. I looked at a map that was in the room, we were in Moscow. "We're gonna be heading west for a while."

"What about west?"

"Don't worry about it until tomorrow." I said.

I was getting pretty hungry and realized that I hadn't eaten recently. "Hey Luna, are you hungry?" I asked.

"Starved."

"Did you spend all that money on beer?" I asked. She giggled again. "Alright, let's go get some lunch."

We walked out and eventually found a restaurant. I walked inside and Luna followed me in. I ordered us a meal without any meat in it.

"You two vegetarians?"

"Her, probably. I don't know about me, I haven't eaten much more than cupcakes for the past four months."

"Four months without meat? I don't think that I could go that long."

"Cupcakes grow on a guy."

"C'mon Reznov! I'm starving over here." said Luna.

"You're gonna have to wait, food isn't instantaneous." I said.

"That your mom, kid?"

"No relation."

We sat down and waited until it was ready. When the food came, Luna finished it off in record time and I just stared at mine. "You gonna eat that?" she asked.

I slid it over to her and stood up. I walked back and ordered some steak.

"That's what I like to hear." he said.

I waited at the table until they brought it out for me. "What's that?" asked Luna.

"Steak."

"What's steak?"

"Food." I said, taking a bite out of it. It was still as good as I had remembered.

"Can I have some?"

"No." I said.

"Aw c'mon!"

"No steak for Luna." I said.

"How come you can eat it and I can't?"

"It's an acquired taste." I lied. "You probably won't like it."

"Well alright, if you say so." she said, continuing to eat her meal.

We finished up and left with our stomachs full. "That was filling." I said.

"My head still feels funny, how long does it take for this beer stuff to wear off?"

"I don't know, give it a few hours, it's not permanent."

"I hope so."

"No really, it isn't permanent."

"That's good."

I saw someone walk past us and heard them say, "...and the kid just cleaned them out, can you believe it?"

"Not in the slightest, you're drunk."

"I am not!"

I laughed a little and we continued our stroll. We walked back to the room and I was very bored. I couldn't tell about Luna, being drunk and all.

We kicked off our shoes and I sat on the bed with Luna laying down next to me. "Got any ideas?" I asked.

"I can't think straight."

I laughed and looked at the time, eight. That took longer than expected. "Sleeping may be an option soon." I said.

"Already on it." she said.

I went back outside and drew an alchemical circle in the snow. I put my hands on it, and nothing happened, like normal. "Always worth a shot." I said.

I tried to materialize a weapon, but it didn't work. The same thing happened with the instrument. "This world follows physics, so materializing something would be a physical impossibility, even with the perfect capabilities. Maybe if I had raw material."

I picked up a rock and tried to materialize a dagger. The rock changed shape into that of the dagger I wanted. "Not exactly FMA alchemy, but it'll do. Who am I trying to kid? That was awesome!" I shattered it and walked back inside.

"What were you doing?" asked Luna.

"Just something." I said.

I looked at her and noticed that she just had underwear and a bra on. "What's with the lack of clothes?" I asked, blushing.

"Those were uncomfortable to sleep in, so I took them off."

"Alright then."

I laid down on the floor and Luna looked over the side of the bed. "What are you doing down there?" she asked.

"Sleeping up there with you is a little awkward to me." I said.

She got an evil smile on her face and her hands started to glow. A light shined around me and the next thing that I knew, I was next to her on the bed. She wrapped her arms around me and held on. "You win this round Luna."

She giggled and I put my arm around her. "Night Luna."

"Night Phil."

THE NEXT DAY

I woke up after Luna started to wake up. "Morning, beautiful." I said.

She blushed, then realized that we were sleeping together. "What happened? I can barely remember anything."

"You drank too much beer, got drunk, A went to B and we fell asleep like this."

"I got a serious headache."

"Yeah. You're also gonna hate light and loud noises. Hold on, I'll get you some water." I said, getting up.

I got her some water and she quickly drank it. "I don't want any more of that beer stuff."

"Good, it's bad for you."

"How so?"

"Messes with some of your organs."

"Sound dangerous, why do people even have it? It should be banned."

"They already tried that, it just caused a bigger problem."

"Oh."

"Anyways, get your clothes on." I said, tossing her the clothes.

"Why?" she asked. She didn't seem to understand the importance of clothing yet.

"In this world, people wear clothes. Some don't really want to, but it's the law. I, personally, don't care much for clothing, but it's not like I'm gonna just walk around naked all the time."

"You did it when you were a pony."

"Ponies don't usually wear clothes."

She nodded and put her clothes on. She was having trouble buttoning her pants. "Hey, can I have some help with this?" she asked.

'Of course.' "Yeah, no problem." I helped her button her pants and blushed through the whole thing.

"So what do you plan on doing today?"

"Er... Oh right! I was gonna head to some store and get us some clothes."

"More clothes?"

"I might like to change once a month. Anyways, we're gonna go through a couple different climates on our way there. Also probably a stop at the beach. The ocean's cool. Gonna need proper clothes while I'm swimming."

"I guess so. This concept of clothes confuses me."

"First things first, let's get some pancakes."

"I don't know if I could eat them right now."

"Stay here and rest up a bit then. Rest usually helps." I said.

"Yeah, alright."

"See you in a little while, Luna." I said, exiting the room.

I walked to a restaurant and ordered myself some pancakes. I devoured them and left, looking for something else to do. I decided to look for a clothing store.

I walked around for a while and came across a store that sold various clothes and similar products. I walked inside and picked out some basic clothes for myself, and decided to come back later with Luna. I also got myself some swimming trunks for the occasional swim.

I walked up to pay and he asked, "Traveling?"

"You could say that."

"Alright, where to?"

"America. Me and my friend are headed to America."

"America huh? Well, safe travels."

"Thanks."

I went back to the room with my bags o' clothes hanging off of my arms. There was like three of them, mostly due to the bulky winter gear.

"Hey Luna, feeling better?" I asked.

"Much better."

"Good. I found a clothes store, whenever you're ready we can get some pancakes and then get some clothes for you."

"Pancakes sound great."

She got ready and we headed out. We got a meal and headed to the store. 'I hate myself already. What was I thinking? Taking a girl to a clothes store.'

She seemed to care even less about clothes than I did, getting just another shirt and pants. "C'mon Luna, you're gonna need more than just that." I told her.

I helped her pick out a set of clothes. Socks were definitely the easiest. Shirts and pants, no complaints. Winter apparel, no problem. Then it got awkward, for me at least. She had to pick out underwear and the like.

She walked off and came back with some panties without a bra. 'Damn it!' "You're gonna need some help, aren't you?"

"I guess."

I was forced to help her pick out a few and she started looking at bikinis. She grabbed one and put them in the cart. 'Giggity.'

"That it?" she asked.

"God I hope so." I said, getting my ass out of there.

We paid for the clothes with the same cashier that I had earlier. He took a look at Luna and asked, "Is this your mom?"

"No." I said.

"I'm his very special somep... someone." she said.

'That's that then.' I thought.

"Wow kid. You're one lucky son of a bitch, you know that?" he said in disbelief.

I smiled at him and said, "I know."

We left and headed back to the room. I was mulling over the relationship. I finally reached a conclusion, 'Neat. If that's what she thinks, then I won't take it away from her.' I was smiling the whole way back.

I set the bags on the floor next to mine. Six bags wasn't really that bad for one day of shopping.

"Is there somewhere to clean myself off here?" she asked.

"Think there's a shower over there." I said, pointing to the bathroom.

She walked in and figured out how to work it on her own, probably. I hadn't been called in yet and the water was already going, so it's probably fine.

I checked my cash supply, acceptable, but I could do with some more. "Hey Luna, I'm going out for a while, I'll be back in about an hour."

"See you then."

I walked back to the bar that I went in earlier, then decided that I wasn't gonna get much after last time. I walked to somewhere else and found another.

A went to B and I walked back to Luna with a few more thousand rubles than I entered with. "Scamming these guys is easier than I thought."

I opened the door and Luna was watching TV when I got in. 'This may or may not be bad depending on if they have the hub here.' "How ya doin' Luna?"

"I'm pretty good."

"What are you watching?"

"I don't know."

"Alright."

"Phil! Where have you been?" asked the tv.

"That you Pinkie? Man, the fourth wall is like a plaything to you."

"Where have you been?"

"I've been in the human world, with Luna."

"Luna is there?"

"You're looking at her."

"That was unexpected."

"Don't worry about us Pinkie, we're gonna make our way back eventually."

"Well have fun then!"

"We will Pinkie. This world has more than a few things to keep us occupied."

The TV faded out and resumed normal playing. "What was that all about, what's the fourth wall?" asked Luna.

"That's a secret, I can't tell you."

"Fair enough."

"So anyways, we got another night here, what do you wanna do now?"

"Something fun."

"Most likely. How about we go see a movie?"

"A movie? That sounds fun."

"Alright, I'll find the nearest theater and we can head out." I said, grabbing a phone book from a drawer.

I looked up a theater and we headed out. 'Maybe a romantic or something funny. I don't think that Luna would like a slasher/horror movie, or maybe she would. Who knows?'

We walked to a relatively empty area and took to the skies. It was an acceptable distance away and would've taken a while to get there if we walked.

We got there and I told her to land on the roof where nobody could get a good look at us. "Alright, now to get down without suspicion." I said, walking to the back.

She followed me and I jumped off. "Clear." I called.

She hopped after me and we walked to the front. We walked in, got tickets and popcorn, and went to see the movie. Luna picked out our movie, apparently she had a lust for blood because she picked out the bloodiest movie they had.

I paid the woman who was giving out the tickets, and she said, "May I have some id sir?"

"R-rated, huh... Hey, does she look over 18?" I asked, pointing at Luna.

"What about 18?" asked Luna.

"I guess so."

"Than she's paying, right Luna?" I asked, handing her the money.

Luna looked at the money and handed it to the woman. "What's the deal with 18?" she asked me.

"Need at least one of us to be over 18 to see this movie. I don't even look over 18, let alone am over 18. You however, do look over 18, and are a bit more."

"Yeah, try a lot more."

"Yeah, c'mon Luna, let's go see that bloodbath you wanted to see."

TWO HOURS LATER

We exited the theater and Luna was smiling constantly. "Are you ok?"

"I love bloody movies."

"I can tell."

We went to a relatively empty area and took off back to the room. It got pretty dark and we decided to stay inside.

"You haven't stopped smiling since the movie." I said.

"I liked that movie."

"Alright then."

"I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go to bed." she said, removing her clothes.

"Are you gonna keep sleeping like that?" I asked.

"Clothes are so uncomfortable to sleep in."

"I can agree with that."

"Then why do you sleep with your clothes on?"

I started to blush and said, "That's enough of that. No more talk of clothing and the removal of."

"But..."

"No more."

"Fine."

I sat down on the bed next to Luna. "Yeah, sleep sounds like a great plan right about now." I said.

I laid down and Luna put her arm around me. "Goodnight Luna." I said, putting my arm around her.

"Goodnight."