Three months have passed since Shining Armor has been trapped as an earth pony maid. Now known as Lowly Servant, she had given up all hope of rescue. She thought it was over until Twilight's error prone pupil, Evening Storm turned her into a filly!
not sure how to feel about this ending... one one hoof, Lemonfresh got what she deserved and by a character who couldn't care less what happens to her.... on the other hoof.... it seems like a rushed bonus chapter
6764690 That is the point, they'll understand why discord did what he did, if he's already revealed himself as the father of the victim. And they know he's less reserved than them, and this could just be a minor set back on the road to making him a model part of the society. Cadence wouldn't have received any forgiveness, if she hadn't shown full regret at her forgetfulness and misjudgement.
k that's a bit of a contradiction to the original story that i already pointed out in my comment , cadance's hypno thing was supposed to make the victim think and act like they think they're being hypnoed into does , though it's a negligent detail for the story.....
Shining/Lowly Servant was still able to recall that she wasn't a maid in the original story, and in this one she's asked to ACT like a happy filly. Not BE a happy filly. So deep down she should still remember who she really is.
but already that older self of mine sees a mistake your character made that could have done the correction process much sooner , namely how you introduced some horn problem along with the character's magic problem that causes it to passively react to enchantments , and while his is going off like crazy he speaks with someone who he observes as being clearly under some serious mental crisis and he forces the revelation of that cause he's your self insert so he can be that smart , but apparently not smart enough to figure out what the actual problem which i would have been easily able to deduce in that situation that the horn was reacting to the person thus he already knows that they are enchanted and their could only be so many possibilities from there on...... oh wow and you didn't even get twi to figure it out right away? i thought for sure that was coming next i was getting ready to delete this last part....
Remember, the persona spell is something that's forbidden, and has been lost in the passage of time. If it's from the Crystal Empire library, it's at least a 1,000 years old. The simple fact is that Evening and Twilight haven't come across this spell before. In fact not many spells can BE this powerful that enchant actual ponies, so they keep thinking it has to be an inanimate thing with the spell. They aren't thinking "This pony must have the spell" because as far as they are aware, that's not suppose to be possible. It also wouldn't make for a very interesting story either if they figured it out right away. So while they find it curious, it could be any number of spells Sombra cast. There could be another hidden passage. A powerful artifact hidden in the wall. They simply aren't going to make the leap in logic to realize it's coming from an actual pony when no reported spell like that has been seen in at least a century.
ok wat , you don't have Cadance react to the maid repeating the name she had given shining when this mess started? really? wtf.............
This one I don't understand. Cadance NEVER named her. The name 'Lowly Servant' came from Noblebroom who was expecting a maid that morning to work. Shining decided to pretend to be her because if he said he was Shining Armor, Noblebroom thought he was lying. So no, Cadance would have no reason to react to that name. She never gave it in the first place.
and another thing , when cadance is triggering more enchantments on original shining , shouldn't eve's horn be reacting progressively worse as cadance keeps talking? the other fic had horrible ooc that lead to an very unsatisfying fic , but yours just seems to be ignoring foundations to it's world that you yourself established for no reason......
I think you misunderstand. The persona spell doesn't gain in power with each command. It's always there at the same power level, regardless of what you tell it to do. So no, all these new commands wouldn't make it cause more of a reaction. It's like my computer. It takes the same amount of power to run it if I'm using ten different programs, or only one.
A spell he managed to remove from himself by pleading to his ‘wife’ to just dispel any magic on him at the time just to ease his mind. ok so removing the context of the interaction at the end of the first fic this is acceptable , now the only problem here is why this character would have such a deep distane for shining that they would go out of their way this much to cause shining suffering? ugh.......
That's an original story thing really. Best I could come up with is she's a monster, and I mean figuratively, not literally.
Hmm, then again it might just really embarrass her. He hadn’t tried having her act like a whore to visiting nobles yet. Perhaps he’d entertain that thought later after all. Assuming he couldn’t get Twilight and Cadance to agree to the genderswap thing. .....ok this is puzzling , what is shining referring to in this? i don't get it.....
He had ideas of getting Twilight or Cadance to turn Evening into a mare for fun. If he got that to happen, he'd spend his time trying to tease/torment 'mare Evening'. If Twilight or Cadance didn't want to turn Evening into a mare, then he'd be left a stallion, and thus Shining would have Lowly Servant tease Evening instead.
“Ah I see, well no helping it then.” Shining replied, keeping his poker face up. Infuriating twit. The maid was his property. How dare this third rate magician speak to him, the prince in such a manner! Sadly, any other reaction would raise too many questions about his behavior. Like it or not he was stuck with things as they were. i can't handle this , the characters are all being so stupid in their approaches in this , why does fake shining think he can even consider doing anything to eve when he can only levitate stuff and it was just explained to him that eve preformed age regression magic BY ACCIDENT?......... all the meanwhile everyone is completely oblivious to the reality that they're all pretty much directly programming real shining's actions with what they keep telling him to do? ugh..... and despite all this , i haven't noticed a single inconsistency in your handling of the hypno portion of this , that's beng done exceptionally well , guess it's easy to tell where your priorities lie then :l ...... mmmm now im not sure what to think , having finished now , the situation seems like the fake shining's only course of action to not be found out required being so drastic that he would be found out anyways , and would thus seem like the most self beneficial solution is to come clean and fix things now as prolonging this would only likely make the repercussions for their actions worse but often in the mind of the psychotic they will stick with their denial of the consequences of their actions for as long as they can , so now the dynamic of the fic is suddenly interesting to me again , ugh......
Because Evening can't control his magic, Fake Shining doesn't really see him as a threat. He also works by manipulating those around him. He himself would talk and see if he could get others to do stuff while he sits back and reaps the rewards. He was able to fool everypony for three months for being a smooth talker.
just starting into this now and i think i figured out why this isn't working , don't know why it took me this long since before i read the fic i thought the act of kindness that would set in motion the events for this sequel was going to be a minimal passing by interaction where something happens and the real shining's original persona regains some control over their thoughts/actions and then has to maneuver around everything to try and break the spell cast on him , and then it would have been even better with the idea of how the first chapter ended with the fake shining realizing this and then actively trying to thwart the real shining's efforts making it a concealed battle of the minds like what death note is , and then the rest of the story could have written itself with a little scenario creativity..... but instead how you chose to approach the fic with shining having so much character interaction with the main cast right away you even have him being taken care of by them while they still aren't aware of the situation , making the focus on warming/tragic character development instead of a thriller of a battle of the minds for revealing/suppressing the truth like what phoenix wright is.......
Reasons why it's not a battle of the minds or like Phoenix Wright: 1- Because I'm not as smart as the writers of those series. I think those series are good and all, but I can't pull something like that off. I'm good with Character development/situations and stuff like that. Like what you see in this fic. A battle of the minds is beyond my abilities I'm afraid. 2- I'll get to this point at the end of my post here.
hmmmm , now what would be the reason for fake shining to tell real shining those commands instead of just to keep quiet till the age regression is reversed literally the next day?
I had to have him slip up somehow. He didn't think with previous commands he gave her in the first fic that she'd be able to find a way out of his commands. He also really wanted to tear away the new 'happiness' she was getting by pretending to be Evening's daughter. Basically he's a horrible pony and wanted to see her suffer.
not only that but wasn't cadance's rank in the hypno spell the highest of all and with real shining being ordered to be a filly shouldn't real shining already not know anything about what fake shining is talking about and thus not be capable of fulfilling the commands thus rendering them null? that part seems very contradictory......
In the last fic Fake Shining tells Lowly that she's to obey his orders above any other. I even repeat this in my fic. So no, Cadance isn't the top dog anymore because of that command.
I loved writing this part, especially where Peppermint frees herself from the spell. So I just have this sinking feeling, everyone will hate it. >_< i don't , it would have been awful if you hadn't done that , but so far you've made this fic seem like it's only purpose for existing was to do so , and then eventually get shining back to normal , aside from the temp adoption thing there doesn't seem to be any other theme or purpose for this fic....
Now I'll get to the second point. Yes the reason this fic exists was to free Lowly Servant from her mental prison. While I wanted to tell an interesting story at the same time, the main point was for the main character to piece the puzzle together and figure out that Lowly is under a spell, then try to free her. That was it. I'm sorry if you wanted Death Note the Maid to Please edition, but like I said, I'm not capable of writing that story. I honestly figured this would reach maybe 40 pages and I'd be done. I never imagined I'd have 97 pages worth by the end. >_<
not only that but wasn't cadance's rank in the hypno spell the highest of all and with real shining being ordered to be a filly shouldn't real shining already not know anything about what fake shining is talking about and thus not be capable of fulfilling the commands thus rendering them null? that part seems very contradictory......
In the last fic Fake Shining tells Lowly that she's to obey his orders above any other. I even repeat this in my fic. So no, Cadance isn't the top dog anymore because of that command.
It's an interesting point, and one I've actually devoted a good deal of thought to. Is Shining Armor the top dog now, simply because he told Lowly Servant to obey his orders above all others?
He might be. In this fic, he is, and that's a perfectly valid interpretation. But you could also take the logic that the persona spell trumps everything else — and the persona spell is keyed specifically to Princess Cadance, since she's the one who cast it.
This starts to get complicated, since Lowly Servant is under two different, albeit interrelated effects, both of which force unwitting obedience. She's enthralled by the persona spell, of course, which forces her to obey any changes to her personality Cadance dictates. But she's also enthralled by the obedience compulsion Cadance instilled into her via the persona spell.
The commands stemming from that compulsion could be presumed to be subordinate. Secondary to the effects of the persona spell itself.
To put it another way, the commands Shining Armor, Noblebroom, Miss Martinette, and all the others give her are like files on a hard drive, whereas the persona spell is the low-level formatting. If Cadance were able to adjust the formatting — assuming, of course, that the obedience compulsion, which is subordinate to the persona spell, cannot itself prohibit the framework of persona spell from being altered by the individual who originally cast the persona spell — then Cadance could simply say, "You are not obedient anymore," and all of the programming Shining Armor filled her with would become deactivated.
So yes, I can see iamli3's logic. The thing is, that's just one way of thinking about it — and really, since this is a work of fiction involving mind-bending magic spells, it isn't really justifiable to apply your own logic to it and say, "I know I'm right." There may be a hierarchy with the persona spell on top, or there might not be; that plot point is completely at the whim of the author, and as long as the author is internally-consistent, I don't think it's something anyone should take issue with.
Here's another possible interpretation from the first fic nobody's thought of yet: what if the persona spell was actually temporary? What if the persona spell is actually just a powerful, but short-lived enchantment that allows you to edit the fundamental aspects of a pony's personality? It's not this thing that hangs around attached to you for weeks or months, but rather, it's like a Word Processor: you open it, you make a change to the document, and then you save it and you close it. The persona spell fades away, just like the Word Processor is closed. But the changes to the document — to the pony's mind and personality — remain permanently in place. At least, that is, until the persona spell is cast again, and the changes are reverted. This would explain why Cadance didn't immediately react with suspicion when she encountered Lemon Fresh without a persona spell on her in the original fic, for how was she to know the spell might not have naturally faded away by the time she met her? Likewise, it might explain why Cadance's will is no longer dominant; the persona spell faded away, and therefore there is no longer any spell in place that could possibly trump the obedience compulsion and Shining Armor's orders.
None of this is canon, of course, and a lot of it is contradicted by this fic. Just food for thought — different ways you can imagine the persona spell behaving. There are probably a dozen more interpretations nobody's thought of yet that could be just as potentially-valid; but in the end, it's the interpretation selected by the author that matters, and the author ought to be given the creative license to implement that interpretation without anyone second-guessing how they think the persona spell should have worked in their own mind.
6770901 oh , would you look at that , that's super neat how fimfic didn't notify me in any way of any replies to my comments , now i have to guess if you saw my second chapter comment before or after i updated it.....
in this one she's asked to ACT like a happy filly. Not BE a happy filly.
that's the problem though , regardless of what memories they have they should have only been thinking/acting how they were hypnoed to....
In fact not many spells can BE this powerful that enchant actual ponies,
well then that's misleading , or i skipped the boring intro part of the original fic where 'character x goes into information hub x to retrieve/come across x that nobody else knows about' , so fine if that specific kind of magic is largely unknown then that works out....
There could be another hidden passage. A powerful artifact hidden in the wall.
oh ok , didn't know that was covered under this.....
Cadance NEVER named her.
“You’re a poor servant with no prospects and no future—except to be the lowest-ranking maid on the castle staff.
it was really close lol,......
I think you misunderstand. The persona spell doesn't gain in power with each command.
oh k....
That's an original story thing really. Best I could come up with is she's a monster, and I mean figuratively, not literally.
eh......
He had ideas of getting Twilight or Cadance to turn Evening into a mare for fun. If he got that to happen, he'd spend his time trying to tease/torment 'mare Evening'.
yeah ok , and where did this come from exactly -.o?.....
He also works by manipulating those around him.
yeah , would have been nice to see the manipulation run a bit deeper than the fake shining just trying to learn some shining armor facts and how to use basic spells to manipulate people....
second reply next.... this is keeping me up an hour longer than i wanted >_>".....
“It scans any pony that enters and flashes if they’re under any powerful enchantments. It makes a noise too.” “Ah! A way to make sure nopony is under the persona spell. Good idea.” waaaat but i thought cadance was the only pony capable of using that kind of magic :l ?........
What do you mean? It's a simple low level spell to detect when something is enchanted if it passes through it. It's easy to cast, and Twilight is perfectly capable of casting it. The reason it'd pick up the Persona spell, is because the persona spell is strong enough to be picked up.
Of course there was no reason to tell Shining about the month he spent as a filly when younger. wait what? what's this all about?....
Nothing.
before I knew it I was about 25 or more pages into writing a sequel. Right now I'm almost at page 90 how do you count pages?....
I have everything written in one google.doc.
Then I remembered that fake Shining said his commands were above all others, oh that's right he did say that , does saying that actually work though when cadance was the caster and original imprinter of there to even be hypno persona to begin with?....
Read the comment by Pajama Pudding directly before the three you just made.
1- Because I'm not as smart as the writers of those series.
you don't need to be , just come up with something interesting , like im doing with the fic ideas im currently working on....
Basically he's a horrible pony and wanted to see her suffer.
yeah....
Yes the reason this fic exists was to free Lowly Servant from her mental prison.
it just seems like such a paradox to do that and advertise such on the fic that ppl solely clicked on for it's promise of dark fetishy clop , and just as perplexing that we came to this to fill those more altruistic needs as and we kept going to the point where we're having this conversation now.....
I never imagined I'd have 97 pages worth by the end. >_<
and i still feel like it could have used more scenes in it , but really just for the simple purpose that you made it for perhaps it would have been better to just make the fic much shorter like the original and be done with it..... ...only that wouldn't suffice as you were also using this to make use of your self insert oc , so this is how it came out , you had conflicting goals with this fic it seems.....
6773753 yeah , which is also something i wondered about last night , that discord knew enough about the events that transpired in this fic to do what he did at the end there , but shouldn't he have also been aware of twi and the gang setting up those detectors? meaning that when lemon is 'reformed' by him and released , if she ever goes back to the crystal empire (assuming that's the only place they thought to install these magic detectors) her conditioning will be found out , and what happens if the heroes reverse it? probably nothing good heh.....
also another big fundamental thing about the fic's idea that came to mind , when it comes to most other fantasy things involving this hypno subject they usually say something like 'the hypno stuff can't make someone do something they're fundamentally opposed to' which is to say if they really don't want what the hypno thing is trying to do to them then it wont have any effect , this wasn't specified in the original fic of this though so i guess that aspect is fair game eh?....
6787181 i can't change what op writes... i never said i hated it.... im currently writing a new fic right now... i already have a fic published.... you are very strange........
6920501 6920491 Sorry to intrude, but if you continue this, can you take it to private messaging? It has little to do with the story, and is just filling up the comment section. :/
Goddammit, every single time I read a little more of this little universe, I hate Cadence that much more. "Oh, I thought it would wear off by the next day," so you did no research and had no standby's prepared for the highly-invasive, ultra-powerful, transformative spell you were about to cast on the stallion you supposedly love? Fucking A-, this story should've ended with her freezing to death in the tundra while Shining goes back to torture Lemon to death. They both have it coming.
7028995 I simply don't agree with that. She needs to be punished sure, but it's not like she did this on purpose. It was a mistake, a really dumb mistake, but a mistake none the less.
I feel this would be like grabbing the wrong medication for a grandparent, because you just weren't paying attention and they end up in the hospital because of it.
It's a stupid mistake that you should have known better to prevent, but I don't feel you should burn for it.
7029223 I disagree. This wasn't an innocent mistake, this was a whole series of cock-ups fed by her own inattention to staff (read the original, the very last thing she speaks is just despicable) and her own poor judgement when it comes to handling forbidden, arcane magics. This wasn't handing grandma the wrong meds, this was accidentally hitting the big red button at a nuke silo, and it left the Empire under the care of a sexual sadist who enjoyed the mistreatment of other ponies for three months, and it could have been so much worse. It would be bad enough if she were a commoner, but the sheer amount of poor judgement and lackadaisical treatment of others she needed to show for everything to happen like it did shows to me that at the very least, she should have abdicated. No one who shows so much bad judgement and so much of an inability to rule her own station (the princess of love not being able to tell her husband was an impostor for three months? Fucking Christ, girl) is fit to even lay eyes on her throne.
I get that it's your story, and you can do with it as you please, I'm not saying you shouldn't. But I disagree entirely with the premise here that Cadence is nothing more than a victim. At the very best, she's an incompetent moron, the lack of research she put into this goes to show that. HOw little she knew about a spell that was forbidden, highly-powerful, and highly-dangerous shows how idiotically she treats her own power. At the very worst, her lack of regard for her staff, her inattention that allowed the impostor to continuously mistreat Shining without repercussion, and her complete lack of knowledge for the spell she was casting shows that she cared more for getting her rocks off than making sure her love was safe, and that she has no regard for anypony that isn't "important," like her own staff, which is a whole other can of worms I could rant and rave about.
No, Shining Armor is the victim here. Cadence is just an idiot who doesn't deserve the throne.
7029261 Well I agree that in the original story. Yeah that's basically the case.
I did my best to remedy that in my story and tried to come up with explanations for why certain ponies would act as they did in the original story, yet be closer to their show counterparts.
There was really only so much I could do and work with though.
I've read the first two chapters, but, to be honest, I thought there'd be at least one clop scene somewhere in there. Kinda disappointing to find out otherwise.
7032244 Dont know how I get to this side of the internet but I do. I read the story. Im glad it had a happy ending (if you could really cal it that) True Candice is at flat for this. But an incompetent moron. No. Should she have set more guidelines as in. "After tonight lowly will no longer exsist and shining armor will come out." or something along the lines of a set time. But even the "sadist" was effected. She actualy didn't do anything eather. She was also manipulated by the spell. remember? "lets get you thinking like shining again." Whats this mostly for clop. Yes. But I was saddened by this a lot. IT could have been a great comedy as well or slice of life. She is still a sentient being. and pron to mistakes. No one is at true falt here really. just whoever created the awful spell.
7056018 um, no. There was so much Cadence screwed up here I could ramble for days. She is pretty much at fault here and if results in a sadist/rapist on the throne. That's a huge fuck up
until they find what Discord did in some lapsus and then Fluttershy get angry with him
How dare you Discord, that is not what a good pony have to do
6764305
No killing.
And of course, we see the setup to Discord getting shoved into granite once again.
6764282 untill they remind her of what that maid did....
not sure how to feel about this ending... one one hoof, Lemonfresh got what she deserved and by a character who couldn't care less what happens to her.... on the other hoof.... it seems like a rushed bonus chapter
6764613
It kinda is.
6764377 We are talking of the main six, and it's not like they punished Cadence too much.
6764690 That is the point, they'll understand why discord did what he did, if he's already revealed himself as the father of the victim. And they know he's less reserved than them, and this could just be a minor set back on the road to making him a model part of the society. Cadence wouldn't have received any forgiveness, if she hadn't shown full regret at her forgetfulness and misjudgement.
6764935 If he revealed but... If he not revealed himself, they could think "Discord is doing chaos again"
Hmmm...fascinating...
Hah...feel like watching Geralt from Witcher 3 killing Whoreson Junior...
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
I'm amused to see so many people think this means the opposite.
6765011
Sadly I have not played that game. Nor do I think I'll be able to afford it for a while.
6765021
It's still a popular saying that people say. Regardless of the meaning, it's what most people associate with it.
I'm guessing his persona spell is upgraded, so even physical change orders occur. Would love to see a sequel to see where this goes.
Excellent ending, I must say.
Well this has made me think that this could be an interesting universe for more maybe?
If you ever feel up to it....
Regardless a "nice" story
6770684
To try and address some of your points:
Shining/Lowly Servant was still able to recall that she wasn't a maid in the original story, and in this one she's asked to ACT like a happy filly. Not BE a happy filly. So deep down she should still remember who she really is.
Remember, the persona spell is something that's forbidden, and has been lost in the passage of time. If it's from the Crystal Empire library, it's at least a 1,000 years old. The simple fact is that Evening and Twilight haven't come across this spell before. In fact not many spells can BE this powerful that enchant actual ponies, so they keep thinking it has to be an inanimate thing with the spell. They aren't thinking "This pony must have the spell" because as far as they are aware, that's not suppose to be possible. It also wouldn't make for a very interesting story either if they figured it out right away. So while they find it curious, it could be any number of spells Sombra cast. There could be another hidden passage. A powerful artifact hidden in the wall. They simply aren't going to make the leap in logic to realize it's coming from an actual pony when no reported spell like that has been seen in at least a century.
This one I don't understand. Cadance NEVER named her. The name 'Lowly Servant' came from Noblebroom who was expecting a maid that morning to work. Shining decided to pretend to be her because if he said he was Shining Armor, Noblebroom thought he was lying. So no, Cadance would have no reason to react to that name. She never gave it in the first place.
I think you misunderstand. The persona spell doesn't gain in power with each command. It's always there at the same power level, regardless of what you tell it to do. So no, all these new commands wouldn't make it cause more of a reaction. It's like my computer. It takes the same amount of power to run it if I'm using ten different programs, or only one.
That's an original story thing really. Best I could come up with is she's a monster, and I mean figuratively, not literally.
He had ideas of getting Twilight or Cadance to turn Evening into a mare for fun. If he got that to happen, he'd spend his time trying to tease/torment 'mare Evening'. If Twilight or Cadance didn't want to turn Evening into a mare, then he'd be left a stallion, and thus Shining would have Lowly Servant tease Evening instead.
Because Evening can't control his magic, Fake Shining doesn't really see him as a threat. He also works by manipulating those around him. He himself would talk and see if he could get others to do stuff while he sits back and reaps the rewards. He was able to fool everypony for three months for being a smooth talker.
6770745
Reasons why it's not a battle of the minds or like Phoenix Wright:
1- Because I'm not as smart as the writers of those series. I think those series are good and all, but I can't pull something like that off. I'm good with Character development/situations and stuff like that. Like what you see in this fic. A battle of the minds is beyond my abilities I'm afraid.
2- I'll get to this point at the end of my post here.
I had to have him slip up somehow. He didn't think with previous commands he gave her in the first fic that she'd be able to find a way out of his commands. He also really wanted to tear away the new 'happiness' she was getting by pretending to be Evening's daughter. Basically he's a horrible pony and wanted to see her suffer.
In the last fic Fake Shining tells Lowly that she's to obey his orders above any other. I even repeat this in my fic. So no, Cadance isn't the top dog anymore because of that command.
Now I'll get to the second point. Yes the reason this fic exists was to free Lowly Servant from her mental prison. While I wanted to tell an interesting story at the same time, the main point was for the main character to piece the puzzle together and figure out that Lowly is under a spell, then try to free her. That was it. I'm sorry if you wanted Death Note the Maid to Please edition, but like I said, I'm not capable of writing that story. I honestly figured this would reach maybe 40 pages and I'd be done. I never imagined I'd have 97 pages worth by the end. >_<
6770940
It's an interesting point, and one I've actually devoted a good deal of thought to. Is Shining Armor the top dog now, simply because he told Lowly Servant to obey his orders above all others?
He might be. In this fic, he is, and that's a perfectly valid interpretation. But you could also take the logic that the persona spell trumps everything else — and the persona spell is keyed specifically to Princess Cadance, since she's the one who cast it.
This starts to get complicated, since Lowly Servant is under two different, albeit interrelated effects, both of which force unwitting obedience. She's enthralled by the persona spell, of course, which forces her to obey any changes to her personality Cadance dictates. But she's also enthralled by the obedience compulsion Cadance instilled into her via the persona spell.
The commands stemming from that compulsion could be presumed to be subordinate. Secondary to the effects of the persona spell itself.
To put it another way, the commands Shining Armor, Noblebroom, Miss Martinette, and all the others give her are like files on a hard drive, whereas the persona spell is the low-level formatting. If Cadance were able to adjust the formatting — assuming, of course, that the obedience compulsion, which is subordinate to the persona spell, cannot itself prohibit the framework of persona spell from being altered by the individual who originally cast the persona spell — then Cadance could simply say, "You are not obedient anymore," and all of the programming Shining Armor filled her with would become deactivated.
So yes, I can see iamli3's logic. The thing is, that's just one way of thinking about it — and really, since this is a work of fiction involving mind-bending magic spells, it isn't really justifiable to apply your own logic to it and say, "I know I'm right." There may be a hierarchy with the persona spell on top, or there might not be; that plot point is completely at the whim of the author, and as long as the author is internally-consistent, I don't think it's something anyone should take issue with.
Here's another possible interpretation from the first fic nobody's thought of yet: what if the persona spell was actually temporary? What if the persona spell is actually just a powerful, but short-lived enchantment that allows you to edit the fundamental aspects of a pony's personality? It's not this thing that hangs around attached to you for weeks or months, but rather, it's like a Word Processor: you open it, you make a change to the document, and then you save it and you close it. The persona spell fades away, just like the Word Processor is closed. But the changes to the document — to the pony's mind and personality — remain permanently in place. At least, that is, until the persona spell is cast again, and the changes are reverted. This would explain why Cadance didn't immediately react with suspicion when she encountered Lemon Fresh without a persona spell on her in the original fic, for how was she to know the spell might not have naturally faded away by the time she met her? Likewise, it might explain why Cadance's will is no longer dominant; the persona spell faded away, and therefore there is no longer any spell in place that could possibly trump the obedience compulsion and Shining Armor's orders.
None of this is canon, of course, and a lot of it is contradicted by this fic. Just food for thought — different ways you can imagine the persona spell behaving. There are probably a dozen more interpretations nobody's thought of yet that could be just as potentially-valid; but in the end, it's the interpretation selected by the author that matters, and the author ought to be given the creative license to implement that interpretation without anyone second-guessing how they think the persona spell should have worked in their own mind.
wowa bombshell last minute reveal discord is worst pony in this fic omfg lol......
6770901 oh , would you look at that , that's super neat how fimfic didn't notify me in any way of any replies to my comments , now i have to guess if you saw my second chapter comment before or after i updated it.....
that's the problem though , regardless of what memories they have they should have only been thinking/acting how they were hypnoed to....
well then that's misleading , or i skipped the boring intro part of the original fic where 'character x goes into information hub x to retrieve/come across x that nobody else knows about' , so fine if that specific kind of magic is largely unknown then that works out....
oh ok , didn't know that was covered under this.....
it was really close lol,......
oh k....
eh......
yeah ok , and where did this come from exactly -.o?.....
yeah , would have been nice to see the manipulation run a bit deeper than the fake shining just trying to learn some shining armor facts and how to use basic spells to manipulate people....
second reply next....
this is keeping me up an hour longer than i wanted >_>".....
6773543
What do you mean? It's a simple low level spell to detect when something is enchanted if it passes through it. It's easy to cast, and Twilight is perfectly capable of casting it. The reason it'd pick up the Persona spell, is because the persona spell is strong enough to be picked up.
Nothing.
I have everything written in one google.doc.
Read the comment by Pajama Pudding directly before the three you just made.
6773611
It's actually a reference to a fic on here called "I don't want to be a tree" that I really liked.
6770940
you don't need to be , just come up with something interesting , like im doing with the fic ideas im currently working on....
yeah....
it just seems like such a paradox to do that and advertise such on the fic that ppl solely clicked on for it's promise of dark fetishy clop , and just as perplexing that we came to this to fill those more altruistic needs as and we kept going to the point where we're having this conversation now.....
and i still feel like it could have used more scenes in it , but really just for the simple purpose that you made it for perhaps it would have been better to just make the fic much shorter like the original and be done with it.....
...only that wouldn't suffice as you were also using this to make use of your self insert oc , so this is how it came out , you had conflicting goals with this fic it seems.....
6773700
i was talking about the persona spell being to high level for anyone but cadance to cast....
saying that only makes me want it more :l ......
ah k , is there something wrong with using this site's writing functions?....
made that comment before i noticed there was any replies since i started commenting....
6773702 oh is that so? good enough to share?....
ok geez time to sleep staying up way to late again.....
6773711
I frankly was interested in exploring and writing what I did for this fic. So, yeah that's what I wanted to write, and that's what I wrote.
I'm not going to please everyone. Sorry you didn't like it.
6773734
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/206751/i-dont-want-to-be-a-tree
I just like to use google.docs and import the file over here. Google.docs has more options.
As for only Cadance being able to cast the persona spell, it's basically a 'just to be safe' measure.
6773753 yeah , which is also something i wondered about last night , that discord knew enough about the events that transpired in this fic to do what he did at the end there , but shouldn't he have also been aware of twi and the gang setting up those detectors? meaning that when lemon is 'reformed' by him and released , if she ever goes back to the crystal empire (assuming that's the only place they thought to install these magic detectors) her conditioning will be found out , and what happens if the heroes reverse it? probably nothing good heh.....
also another big fundamental thing about the fic's idea that came to mind , when it comes to most other fantasy things involving this hypno subject they usually say something like 'the hypno stuff can't make someone do something they're fundamentally opposed to' which is to say if they really don't want what the hypno thing is trying to do to them then it wont have any effect , this wasn't specified in the original fic of this though so i guess that aspect is fair game eh?....
6787181 i can't change what op writes...
i never said i hated it....
im currently writing a new fic right now...
i already have a fic published....
you are very strange........
6787275
...
6918496 yes? something you'd like to add?....
6919416
Just wondering why you trail off with every sentence.
6919501 how i type....
6920097
Doesn't sound like a good style choice for someone who publishes their work.
6920491 what do you mean?....
6920501
6920491
Sorry to intrude, but if you continue this, can you take it to private messaging? It has little to do with the story, and is just filling up the comment section. :/
6920841 sure
7017827
Yeah fixed. I certainly wasn't trying to say that Shining entered the room with a female giant. XD
Goddammit, every single time I read a little more of this little universe, I hate Cadence that much more. "Oh, I thought it would wear off by the next day," so you did no research and had no standby's prepared for the highly-invasive, ultra-powerful, transformative spell you were about to cast on the stallion you supposedly love? Fucking A-, this story should've ended with her freezing to death in the tundra while Shining goes back to torture Lemon to death. They both have it coming.
7026621
Eh, sorry I didn't want to do that.
7028151 I get that you didn't, just saying she has it coming
7028995
I simply don't agree with that. She needs to be punished sure, but it's not like she did this on purpose. It was a mistake, a really dumb mistake, but a mistake none the less.
I feel this would be like grabbing the wrong medication for a grandparent, because you just weren't paying attention and they end up in the hospital because of it.
It's a stupid mistake that you should have known better to prevent, but I don't feel you should burn for it.
7029223 I disagree. This wasn't an innocent mistake, this was a whole series of cock-ups fed by her own inattention to staff (read the original, the very last thing she speaks is just despicable) and her own poor judgement when it comes to handling forbidden, arcane magics. This wasn't handing grandma the wrong meds, this was accidentally hitting the big red button at a nuke silo, and it left the Empire under the care of a sexual sadist who enjoyed the mistreatment of other ponies for three months, and it could have been so much worse. It would be bad enough if she were a commoner, but the sheer amount of poor judgement and lackadaisical treatment of others she needed to show for everything to happen like it did shows to me that at the very least, she should have abdicated. No one who shows so much bad judgement and so much of an inability to rule her own station (the princess of love not being able to tell her husband was an impostor for three months? Fucking Christ, girl) is fit to even lay eyes on her throne.
I get that it's your story, and you can do with it as you please, I'm not saying you shouldn't. But I disagree entirely with the premise here that Cadence is nothing more than a victim. At the very best, she's an incompetent moron, the lack of research she put into this goes to show that. HOw little she knew about a spell that was forbidden, highly-powerful, and highly-dangerous shows how idiotically she treats her own power. At the very worst, her lack of regard for her staff, her inattention that allowed the impostor to continuously mistreat Shining without repercussion, and her complete lack of knowledge for the spell she was casting shows that she cared more for getting her rocks off than making sure her love was safe, and that she has no regard for anypony that isn't "important," like her own staff, which is a whole other can of worms I could rant and rave about.
No, Shining Armor is the victim here. Cadence is just an idiot who doesn't deserve the throne.
7029261
Well I agree that in the original story. Yeah that's basically the case.
I did my best to remedy that in my story and tried to come up with explanations for why certain ponies would act as they did in the original story, yet be closer to their show counterparts.
There was really only so much I could do and work with though.
I've read the first two chapters, but, to be honest, I thought there'd be at least one clop scene somewhere in there. Kinda disappointing to find out otherwise.
7031464 true dat
7032011
Yeah, sorry. That wasn't the point of this story. Not sure where a clop scene would even fit in.
7032244 Dont know how I get to this side of the internet but I do. I read the story. Im glad it had a happy ending (if you could really cal it that) True Candice is at flat for this. But an incompetent moron. No. Should she have set more guidelines as in. "After tonight lowly will no longer exsist and shining armor will come out." or something along the lines of a set time. But even the "sadist" was effected. She actualy didn't do anything eather. She was also manipulated by the spell. remember? "lets get you thinking like shining again." Whats this mostly for clop. Yes. But I was saddened by this a lot. IT could have been a great comedy as well or slice of life. She is still a sentient being. and pron to mistakes. No one is at true falt here really. just whoever created the awful spell.
7056018 um, no. There was so much Cadence screwed up here I could ramble for days. She is pretty much at fault here and if results in a sadist/rapist on the throne. That's a huge fuck up
7056148 Your point. Your telling me you never fluffed up in your life EVER? get off your high horse man. (Pun not intended)
7056626 No, but I didn't get the so-called love of my life mixed up with a rapist without even noticing.