It was a god-awful day in Equestria. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and there was a fresh breeze carrying the scent of daffodils, but there was one really super important thing missing: trains.
Yes, it was true that there were at least two trains in Equestria. The Friendship Express and the one pulled by those four stallions in the Bad Lands, but two was never enough, not for the I like Trains kid at least. You see, he was brought in recently to this place after his ironically appropriate death on the film set of ASDF. Now that he’s in a brand new world to wreak havoc upon, he’s…uhhh… here to wreak havoc upon it.
___
He died and suddenly appeared in front of Princess Celestia in Canterlot in the royal throne room of all places. This was not her first encounter with a human, but it was with one so… creepy.
“Uhm… hello?” Celestia asked, unsure of what to do. “What’s your name?”
“I like trains.”
And then there were two gaping holes in the walls along with a random set of train tracks on the floor. Celestia stood there, mouth agape, unsure of what just happened.
___
Twilight Sparkle was reading a book, doing some research on how a unicorn’s light affects the specific influence of magical abilities in a relatively new field of theories, when the door gently swung open. A small solid white child with a jet black outline strolled in and went straight for the mechanics section. The mare did have to admit it was the oddest human she’d ever seen, but it wasn’t her place to question.
Instead of reading anything, from what she could see while peeking above the rim of the page she was on, he just stood there with a little creepy smile. Feeling a little uncomfortable, she turned around in her chair. But, she then realized she had her back to him, so she turned right back around. But, now he was looking at her again.
It was obvious he needed something, so she had to stallion up and just ask him what was wrong. She walked over to him and began her casual librarian routine. “Hi, how may I help you?” she tried to inquire as sweetly as possible.
“I like trains.”
A distinct rumbling rattled the floor as books wobbled off of the shelf and a train whistle went off in the distance.
The vibrations only increased to get more violent. Was it an earthquake? A stampede!? No, neither of those have a train whistle! It was-
A lengthy convoy barreled through, sending a flurry of loose paper to fly through and consequently out of the library. The kid mysteriously disappeared leaving the unicorn alone with a gigantic mess.
Spike walked downstairs, paused, scanned the room, and walked right back up.
___
Mrs. Cake was in the Sugarcube Corner kitchen, preparing a cake for an impending party. Despite her normally pleasent demeanor, she was completely engrossed in the task before her. Each timer went off at a fast paced tempo as she figuratively jumped to the next station, whisking or frosting away.
The bell attacked to the entrance jingled, signaling somepony had walked in. “Just one moment please!” the earth pony replied to the unknown customer. After seeing that there was thirty three seconds left until the next station, she came back to the counter and saw the plainly designed kid.
“Oh no, no nonononononno no. No. Pinkie’s shown me to you on the internet, I know what you do.” She pushed the kid outside and slammed the door closed.
And then nothing happened.
___
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were sitting in a large field, recuperating after an invigorating training session for the next Wonderbolt’s audition.
“Hey Rainbow Dash, have you heard of the ‘I like trains’ kid?” Pinkie asked her polychromatic friend, seemingly out of the blue. “He’s pretty cool, but I think there might be something wrong with him. I don’t know if he’s cursed or it’s something with his brain, but all he ever says is ‘I like trains.’”
“I heard from birth he never spoke a word, not even to his parents.”
“Not a single sound?” she held her hooves to her face.
“Yeah, and on the first day of school I heard the teacher asked his name and all he ever said was ‘I like Trains.’” Rainbow shuddered at the thought.
“Wow. But didn’t they put him on some Ritalin to see if that would help?” she questioned, continuing the conversation.
“Yup, they managed to find the perfect dose. After that they asked him how he felt.”
“And?”
“Well,” she rubbed a hoof behind her head, “he stared at the doctor with a little creepy smile and said ‘he felt great.’”
“Aww, good for him!” Pinkie stood up, shaking off some sweat.
“Yup, after that the kid straightened out his life and even found a nice girl who he asked to be his wife.”
“Dang, he cleans up.”
“You might be more right than you know, Pinks. He was at the altar, prepared to say the vows. He put the ring on her finger and guess what he said?”
“I… like trains?”
“Yup.”
Then they both remained completely silent as the dawn of realization broadened on their mental horizons.
“Dashie… did we just…”
“Yeah, I think we did.”
___
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were shuffling in their seats, uncomfortable with the wooden bottoms and the after school class they had to take for failing a test.
“Man, I hate staying after school,” Scootaloo relayed to her friends, who had all failed as well.
“Rarity’s gunna kill me for failing another test.” Sweetie Belle sighed in dismay.
“Same with Applejack an’ Big Macintosh.”
I like trains kid opened the door and said his catchphrase, without any seen rhyme or reason.
A train barreled through without any issue, leaving the school in splinters.
“W-what was that all about!?” Cheerilee yelled with utmost confusion.
___
Applejack and Rarity were on a date in the apple orchard fields. No pony knew about their lesbian relationship of two years, but they still loved each other. Rarity levitated a picnic basket and removed some the contents. A lovely daisy sandwich, a few alcoholic beverages and a picnic cloth.
“Oh Applejack, isn’t this day just simply gorgeous! I just simply adore days like this. Weather’s not too hot, the wind’s not too breezy and there’s an Applejack by my side.” She picked out an orange from the basket and peeled off the skin.”
“Rarity… what’s that?”
“It’s just an orange, darling. I don’t see why you’re getting worked up.”
“We have plenty a fruit on them trees and you bring in an outside product to MAH farm?”
Then, random I like trains kid appeared. He used “I Like Trains!” It was super effective on trees!
___
He decided to visit Fluttershy that day as well. She was knitting on her couch when somepony knocked on the door. Or, who she thought was somepony.
“Hello?” she meekly answered the door. “Who’s there?”
The I Like Trains kid opened the door for her, wearing a T-shirt asking if she liked trains.
“Actually… I uhm… don’t. I’m sorry.
I reserve the right to remove first post from everyone.
BUT FIRST POST
okayface.com/okay-face.jpg
I like trains
YOU DID NOT JUST WRITE THIS!
I must read now....read it and love it.
Of course, I see this minutes after thinking about ASDFMovie.
I knew it would happen, I salute you.
*Reads*
gamersbin.com/attachments/f184/13763d1331074498-diablo-iii-cinematic-trailer-28-2-2012-mother-god-meme.jpg
This has all of my yes.
nice going there buddy.
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/234/9/3/i__m_a_filly_and_what_is_this_by_lootascoo-d47j5mp.png
*like*
Man this was funny
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-wat.jpg
Wat.
This is really funny! (And quite random). And also APPLEDASH IS THE OTP!!!! RARIDASH IS, well, less true pairing and such and stuff and things.
XD good job, you should check out my new camera
Anything else, Nostradamus of random fic?
Oh wait, this isn't the camera.
lolwut.
Okay, this was good.
I love Mrs. Cake's reaction.
What is this, I don't even...
Have an internet muffin my good man. (Because we all know that muffins are better)
-Jorofrarie
Stupidest concept for a crossover yet...
...liked and faved! Good work!
Hey, check out my new dog.
693475
You can have the priveledge of second post!
693478
I SO JUST DID!
693485
I have an incredible sense of timing I suppose.
693496
You knew I would write this!? Please, what will I write next!?
693498
693509
hungrybear... commented on MY fanfiction!? *Squee*
693512
i552.photobucket.com/albums/jj335/spacemanman/IamCosmicAfroandwhatisthis.png
693518
Glad you liked it! Expect MOAR!
693520
Distrance, you of all ponies should know me by now.
693537
You don't say...
693552
Expect more?
693556
693570
Do you know how hard it is to read that post when it's from YOU of all ponies with THAT avatar!?
693589
Success...
693629
Good job Pinkie, you protected your job thanks to the internet!
693940
Oh... I'm sure there's something worse. And if not... I'm so proud
694193
Oh yeah that's- HEY! there's no dog there!
694234 OoOooOooOooOooHhhhhh
694240
OOOoooOOOoooOOoOOOOhhhh!!!
YOU are responsible for this? What do you have to say for yourself, mister? You have been a VERY bad boy!
Hey, it says gullible on the ceiling...
694234 The thing you will write next is Tomska comes to Equestria! (Hopefully)
694732 oh so it doe--oh you stole my lungs t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSDZISl-JIWsTEXn5jMc2A8KYrlIMu1CIEMWrsj6q8wVQ5XPe6t
cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0070/7032/files/wat_grande.jpg%3F113123
Props on the 'I like Trains" song reference. I'ma go listen to it now. Cause....ya know...... I like trains....
I lost it when Mrs. Cake said she knew about the 'I Like Trains Kid' from the Internet, funny how she's the only pony who knew how to stop that kid.
Also "I Like Trains" (Gets run over by a train that appears out of nowhere)
And "Wild I like Trains Kid appeared"
Sure, why not?
I like ponies
Oh Geezus haha cant wait to read.
Fantastic! Completely random, yet totally sane! Now there is one thing left to say...
Hey, I like your hat!
695947
Thanks!
694360
Indeed. Have you read psp's erotic fanfiction about me and the admins?
694792
Not even close XD
695352
I see nothing wrong with that.
695443
I'm pretty sure you can type <3 with much less effort and achieve the same results.
695607
I liek Trayuns
695624
Funny story, i forgot to add the gif there. oh well.
695839
My incentives exactly
695911
>Comments before reading
>Doesn't realize he already has.
696504
I was being sarcastic!
696647
Well i stole your face!
696650
I request . . . Pie Flavored Pie
[img]pie[/img]
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/274/343/79f.gif
It's midnight, I'm pretty tired, yet I'm still here.
NO REGRETS! *goes to finish rest of story*
Hey look at my cool new dog
....
....
: Well, I'm not cleaning this up.
I feel bad for the kid.
I wonder if he's still married.
So much YES!! 10 smiling pinkies for you, my good sir!
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2132391 Oh, cool-Hey there isn't a dog!