//------------------------------// // I like trains... // Story: ASDF movies visits Equestria // by CosmicAfro //------------------------------// It was a god-awful day in Equestria. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and there was a fresh breeze carrying the scent of daffodils, but there was one really super important thing missing: trains. Yes, it was true that there were at least two trains in Equestria. The Friendship Express and the one pulled by those four stallions in the Bad Lands, but two was never enough, not for the I like Trains kid at least. You see, he was brought in recently to this place after his ironically appropriate death on the film set of ASDF. Now that he’s in a brand new world to wreak havoc upon, he’s…uhhh… here to wreak havoc upon it. ___ He died and suddenly appeared in front of Princess Celestia in Canterlot in the royal throne room of all places. This was not her first encounter with a human, but it was with one so… creepy. “Uhm… hello?” Celestia asked, unsure of what to do. “What’s your name?” “I like trains.” And then there were two gaping holes in the walls along with a random set of train tracks on the floor. Celestia stood there, mouth agape, unsure of what just happened. ___ Twilight Sparkle was reading a book, doing some research on how a unicorn’s light affects the specific influence of magical abilities in a relatively new field of theories, when the door gently swung open. A small solid white child with a jet black outline strolled in and went straight for the mechanics section. The mare did have to admit it was the oddest human she’d ever seen, but it wasn’t her place to question. Instead of reading anything, from what she could see while peeking above the rim of the page she was on, he just stood there with a little creepy smile. Feeling a little uncomfortable, she turned around in her chair. But, she then realized she had her back to him, so she turned right back around. But, now he was looking at her again. It was obvious he needed something, so she had to stallion up and just ask him what was wrong. She walked over to him and began her casual librarian routine. “Hi, how may I help you?” she tried to inquire as sweetly as possible. “I like trains.” A distinct rumbling rattled the floor as books wobbled off of the shelf and a train whistle went off in the distance. The vibrations only increased to get more violent. Was it an earthquake? A stampede!? No, neither of those have a train whistle! It was- A lengthy convoy barreled through, sending a flurry of loose paper to fly through and consequently out of the library. The kid mysteriously disappeared leaving the unicorn alone with a gigantic mess. Spike walked downstairs, paused, scanned the room, and walked right back up. ___ Mrs. Cake was in the Sugarcube Corner kitchen, preparing a cake for an impending party. Despite her normally pleasent demeanor, she was completely engrossed in the task before her. Each timer went off at a fast paced tempo as she figuratively jumped to the next station, whisking or frosting away. The bell attacked to the entrance jingled, signaling somepony had walked in. “Just one moment please!” the earth pony replied to the unknown customer. After seeing that there was thirty three seconds left until the next station, she came back to the counter and saw the plainly designed kid. “Oh no, no nonononononno no. No. Pinkie’s shown me to you on the internet, I know what you do.” She pushed the kid outside and slammed the door closed. And then nothing happened. ___ Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were sitting in a large field, recuperating after an invigorating training session for the next Wonderbolt’s audition. “Hey Rainbow Dash, have you heard of the ‘I like trains’ kid?” Pinkie asked her polychromatic friend, seemingly out of the blue. “He’s pretty cool, but I think there might be something wrong with him. I don’t know if he’s cursed or it’s something with his brain, but all he ever says is ‘I like trains.’” “I heard from birth he never spoke a word, not even to his parents.” “Not a single sound?” she held her hooves to her face. “Yeah, and on the first day of school I heard the teacher asked his name and all he ever said was ‘I like Trains.’” Rainbow shuddered at the thought. “Wow. But didn’t they put him on some Ritalin to see if that would help?” she questioned, continuing the conversation. “Yup, they managed to find the perfect dose. After that they asked him how he felt.” “And?” “Well,” she rubbed a hoof behind her head, “he stared at the doctor with a little creepy smile and said ‘he felt great.’” “Aww, good for him!” Pinkie stood up, shaking off some sweat. “Yup, after that the kid straightened out his life and even found a nice girl who he asked to be his wife.” “Dang, he cleans up.” “You might be more right than you know, Pinks. He was at the altar, prepared to say the vows. He put the ring on her finger and guess what he said?” “I… like trains?” “Yup.” Then they both remained completely silent as the dawn of realization broadened on their mental horizons. “Dashie… did we just…” “Yeah, I think we did.” ___ The Cutie Mark Crusaders were shuffling in their seats, uncomfortable with the wooden bottoms and the after school class they had to take for failing a test. “Man, I hate staying after school,” Scootaloo relayed to her friends, who had all failed as well. “Rarity’s gunna kill me for failing another test.” Sweetie Belle sighed in dismay. “Same with Applejack an’ Big Macintosh.” I like trains kid opened the door and said his catchphrase, without any seen rhyme or reason. A train barreled through without any issue, leaving the school in splinters. “W-what was that all about!?” Cheerilee yelled with utmost confusion. ___ Applejack and Rarity were on a date in the apple orchard fields. No pony knew about their lesbian relationship of two years, but they still loved each other. Rarity levitated a picnic basket and removed some the contents. A lovely daisy sandwich, a few alcoholic beverages and a picnic cloth. “Oh Applejack, isn’t this day just simply gorgeous! I just simply adore days like this. Weather’s not too hot, the wind’s not too breezy and there’s an Applejack by my side.” She picked out an orange from the basket and peeled off the skin.” “Rarity… what’s that?” “It’s just an orange, darling. I don’t see why you’re getting worked up.” “We have plenty a fruit on them trees and you bring in an outside product to MAH farm?” Then, random I like trains kid appeared. He used “I Like Trains!” It was super effective on trees! ___ He decided to visit Fluttershy that day as well. She was knitting on her couch when somepony knocked on the door. Or, who she thought was somepony. “Hello?” she meekly answered the door. “Who’s there?” The I Like Trains kid opened the door for her, wearing a T-shirt asking if she liked trains. “Actually… I uhm… don’t. I’m sorry.