Chapter the Sixteenth
Chapter the Sixteenth, or “The Talk”
Thankfully, I’ve adapted to teleportation since those faithful days we first met. “So, I don’t suppose you saw what happened between me and the Princess?” I nonchalantly asked my secretary.
She blushes faintly pink. “She really seems to like you,” she mumbles.
“Oh, come on, she was drunk!” I laugh. “She’d be making out with the pole if it was in her way!”
Twilight laughs nervously. “I’ve never seen her like that before,” she admits. “I guess everyone should have a chance to let their hair down!”
I peer into Twilight’s face. “You ok, Twi?” I ask, shifting her hair to get a closer look. “You’re really quiet for someone at a party!”
She blushes dark pink. “I’m fine,” she stammers, looking away. “Just a little nervous, is all.”
“Nervous? You’re as shaken up as a hooker in the Vatican!” I laugh, giving her a playful shove.
She grins a little more confidently. “Hey, you weren’t boasting so loudly when the Princess had you in her clutches!”
I feel my face redden. “Hey, you’d react that way if someone did that to you!” I protest
“Would not!” she laughs back. “You’re just a little fraidy-“
I grab Twilight by her hips and push her to the nearest wall. “I want you now,” I growl at her, our faces not even a fraction of an inch apart.
She turns a shade of red tomatoes only dream about. “I-I-I-I don’t know what to-”
I pull away and laugh. “Told you so!” I grin.
She’s shakes herself out of her shock and glares at me. “That wasn’t fair!” she pouted. “I didn’t have time to react!”
“You could have easily blasted me into bits with your psychic stuff!” I point out. “All it takes is a single thought from you and BOOM!”
She sighs and looks up at me. “Well, maybe it wasn’t that bad,” she admitted.
“Ooh, are you in loooooooove, Twi?” I ask, grinning. “Do you loooooooove me?”
She flips her hair in a defiant air. “I don’t like jerks, Sebastian!” she says confidently. “And just because I didn’t blast you to bits this time doesn’t mean I won’t next time!”
I grin. “Is that an invitation for me to try?” I growl in my sexy voice.
“I DIDN’T SAY THAT!!!” she yelps.
I burst out laughing. “You know, Twi, you’re WAY too fun to mess around with!”
She turns beet-red and turns up her nose. “See you later, Sebastian,” she says with a huff and walks away.
“Aw, come on Twi!” I call to her as she disappears into the crowd. “I’m just teasing!”
“Me too,” a voice whispers in my ear.
I yelp to find Twilight grinning behind me. “Gotcha!” she laughs.
“That’s cheating!” I say rather childishly. “You used your magic that time!”
She gives me a dazzling smile. “So, how are you liking that medicine?” she asks.
“Huh?”
“Yeah, that medicine I just gave you. It’s your own flavor, you know!”
It took me a while before I groan in realization. “God, Twi, that has to be one of the LAMEST jokes I’ve ever heard!”
She laughs that musical laugh of her. “I guess it’s just Pinkie Pie rubbing off on me!”
“Pinkie’s jokes are hilarious! You just suck at telling them!”
She sticks out her tongue at me. “Jerk!”
“Hey, you know what’s not smart? Telling the person paying your paycheck that he’s a jerk!” I smirk.
“You know what else isn’t smart?” she retorts, pushing her face aggressively close to mine. “Sexually harassing your secretary!”
“Touché, Mademoiselle Secrétaire!” I laugh. “But I’ll get you one of these days!”
We both laugh and lean over the balcony railing before quieting down. “So, you guys seem to be used to this sort of thing happening,” I say, trying to start up another conversation. “The thing with the Princess, I mean.”
“Not used to it,” she shrugs, still looking at the city lights. “It’s more like we’re slightly more accepting of it.”
I turn to her in interest. “What do you mean, ‘accepting’?”
She sighs and looks at me. “Since the whole Blueblood incident, we’ve had to accept what the Princesses have been trying to tell us for year: They really aren’t gods.”
“Do you still remember?” I ask quietly.
“Huh?”
“Do you still remember the whole war and everything?” I clarify.
She shakes her head. “It almost seems like it was a dream,” she says softly. “Almost like it never happened…”
I peer at her face to see that she had gotten the same look as Rarity had. “Twilight?” I ask, snapping my fingers in front of her eyes. “Helloooo? Earth to Twilight?”
Her eyes focus and I see a faint glimmer of gold in her eyes. “Huh? Oh yeah, sorry about that,” she says, shaking her head like a wet dog. “I guess I kinda spaced out there.”
“Have you been drinking at all tonight?” I ask, still searching for signs of that golden glimmer.
“No!” she says quickly.
I give her a suspicious look. “Twilight…”
She sighs in exasperation. “Fine, I had maybe a glass or two of wine, but that’s it, I swear! Jeeze, you sound like Shining Armor!”
I smile ruefully at the name. “Yeah, I don’t think he likes me much…”
“What do you mean?” she asks, tilting here head slightly. “You haven’t even had a conversation with him yet!”
“Trust me, he doesn’t like me. He was giving me the Evil Eye the whole time he was escorting me to Princess Luna.”
“Wait, why would Luna want to talk to you?”
I pretend to be shocked and offended. “Well, I have never been so slandered in my life!” I say in mock indignation. “I’ll have you know, Miss Twilight Sparkle, that I am a deeply interesting person!”
“You know what I mean!” she laughs, shoving me playfully. “What did she want to talk about.”
“Oh, nothing much,” I shrug. “It was mostly philosophy and stuff like that. We actually had a decent game of chess!”
She looks at me quizzically. “What’s chess?”
“I’ll explain it to you later,” I say dismissively. ‘My point is that it was kind of surreal, you know! She’s not some divine figure, she’s actually a person!”
“I know what you mean,” Twilight says, the smile fading slightly on her face.
“What happened?” I ask.
She takes a deep breath before starting. “Well, when I was just starting to go to the Royal Academy, I got a letter from Princess Celestia telling me that my mom had received a special honor. She was the Princess’ Head Royal Secretary, so she had the privilege to ride behind the Princess on the Royal Chariot during the Summer Solstice Festival. The letter asked me if I wanted to ride with my mom too, and of course I accepted. I hadn’t seen my mom in ages- the school required the students to be cut off from the world so that they stay focused on their studies,” she explained, ”So I was looking forward to this more than anything in the world! I braided my hair, got into my best dress, had my hooves shined- I even had Spike groomed for the occasion!”
She chuckles a little before continuing. “Anyways, when the day came, my mom and I were escorted to the Princess’ Chariot by the Royal Guard. Everything seemed so bright and happy, and my heart was getting ready to burst in my chest from all the excitement! And when the Princess flew down into the Chariot… The world just stopped! But when we started rolling on the path, I heard my mom whisper something in Celestia’s ear… Something I’d never forget…”
She chokes up a little at these last words. “’Remember, Celestia, Thou art mortal.’” Almost as if these were the magic words, tears start flowing freely down her beautiful cheeks. “I was quiet the whole ride back,” she continues tearfully, constantly wiping her face. “I didn’t talk to my mom for the rest of the time I was with her! I was just so mad, thinking ‘How dare she?!’ and I never once considered the idea that the Princess might have been-“
At this point, I pull her into my arms, hoping this would help her. She buries her face in my chest, sobbing without restraint. “There, there,” I whisper, stroking her hair. “It’s alright now.”
She looks up and smiles weakly. “Sorry about this,” she says, embarrassed. “I don’t know what got into…” She trails off, her face suddenly blank. This time, I definitely see a flash of gold in her eyes, if only for a second.
“Twilight?” I ask tentatively. “Are you ok?”
She’s suddenly out of her trance and starts blushing furiously. “W-what’s going on?” she stuttered nervously.
“You were crying, and I was comforting you, remember?” I ask, confused.
“Why would I be crying?” she asks quietly, still beet-red.
“Remember? The whole story about your mom and Princess Celestia? ‘Celestia, thou art mortal’?” I say, growing more and more concerned.
“Oh yeah,” she says with the air of someone recalling a vague memory. “That was a while ago, wasn’t it?”
“It was a few seconds ago, Twi!” I say, positively terrified by this point.
“Was it? Oh gosh,” she says, holding her head. “It’s just so blurry and hard to remember!”
I pull away from Twilight and make my way into the crowd. “Hold on a sec, I’ll be right back!” I call over my shoulder, leaving Twilight dazed and confused on the balcony.
I push past the crowds of drunken party-goers, trying to wrap my head around this whole situation. What’s going on?! I ask myself frantically, trying hard to make some sort of sense of this mess. There’s no way they could have forgotten so quickly! How on Earth did they-
Then a memory goes through my head. The Harmony Effect, I realize, remembering that fateful night when the Princess explained it to me. So I guess it’s not just national tragedies, it’s also personal tragedies as well! I explain to myself. That’d explain why they take everything so lightly!
My head starts to spin at all the possible outcomes of this. If anything happens to them that makes them even slightly uncomfortable, they just forget! How cool would that be? I look to the bar, where the bottles of liquid gleam invitingly. I guess I’m about to find out, I think grimly to myself as I make my way to the table.
Bon Bon smirks at me as I approach the bar. “I suppose you’re breaking your ‘No alcohol’ policy tonight?” she asks smugly.
I smile sheepishly. “Trust me, if you had the night I’ve had, you would too.” I look around, searching for a certain minty-haired friend of mine. “Where’s Lyra?”
Bon Bon kicks something under the table, and a small groan answers my question. “She had a bit too many samples,” she says, rolling her eyes. “I swear, it’s like this every time!”
I grin as I lean over the table. “How so?”
“She always tries to bite off more than she can chew!” she says in exasperation. “I mean, you should have seen our honeymoon! She practically-“
“Just stop right there. I don’t want to know,” I say, shuddering. ‘Just give me a bottle of vodka, a gallon of milk, two shot glasses, and some chocolate Nesquick, and I’ll be good to go.”
She gives me a grin. “Going for a Dirty Russian tonight, are we?”
“Just shut up and give me the alcohol, woman!” I retort.
She chuckles and gives me the ingredients. “Lyra’s gonna be sorry she passed out,” she says ruefully. “One of the most eligible guys in the building is deciding to cut loose, and she’s too busy with her hangover to deal with it!”
I give her a look. “I’M one of the most eligible guys in the building?”
She shrugs. “Hey, a new face always gets the ladies going, right?”
“Alright, I can see that… But you would let her hook up with me?”
She lowers her eyelids seductively. “We’re kind of a package deal,” she coos softly.
“Ok, what the hell have YOU been drinking?” I ask incredulously.
She laughs at this. “Oh come on, this is a party! Lighten up, will you?!”
“That’s what I plan to do,” I say grimly, holding up my vodka bottle. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a life decision to completely screw up!”
“Have fun!” she calls after me as I make my way across the crowd.
I arrive at the balcony, and notice Twilight gazing up lazily at the stars. “Alright, Twi, I’m back!”
She turns to me and her eyes widen substantially. “Are you insane?!” she gasps in astonishment.
“Relax, this is only part of a game!” I laugh, putting my stuff down.
She narrows her eyes. “I’m listening,” she says suspiciously.
I fill the two cups with the milk and Nesquick mix. “Ok, I’m going to fill one of these cups with vodka, and you have to guess which one,” I explain. ‘You grab the glass that you think is clean and chug it as fast as you can. If you’re right, I drink the vodka bottle and tell you something personal. If you’re wrong, you do the same. We do this until the vodka bottle’s empty, alright?”
She shrugs. “Seems fair enough.”
“Oh, and one last thing,” I grin. “No using magic to cheat.”
“I wasn’t going to cheat!” she protested.
“Just making sure,” I chuckle. “Now don’t look so I can mix in the vodka!”
She sighs and covers her eyes with her hands. I begin to mix the vodka in one cup when an idea hits me. Hmmm… Why not go Princess Bride on this? I think mischievously before mixing the vodka in both cups. “Alright, done!” I say, putting down the vodka bottle. “You can look now!”
She opens her eyes and scrutinizes the cups. “Hmmmm… Aha!” she proclaims. “It’s obviously the one farthest from you!”
“Alright then,” I say, trying to keep my face deadpan. “Drink up!”
She eyes me suspiciously. “But what… maybe you put it farthest from you so that I’d think that it was the one with the alcohol, tricking me into taking the one closest to you so that I’d get drunk!”
I maintain the poker face despite the wave of nostalgia. “Well, what are you waiting for?” I ask.
She keeps on staring at the cups, still doubtful of the outcome. “But what if you purposely put the cups in a specific order so that I would choose the one farthest away, knowing that I would be suspicious of the cup farthest from you?”
It almost hurts to keep the laughter from coming out. “Whatever you say, Twi,” I say in a bored tone.
She continues to examine the shot glasses for a good five minutes before grinning triumphantly. “Aha!” she proclaims. “I’ve got it! You OBVIOUSLY put the cup with the vodka right in front of you, knowing I’d think that you’d put it farthest away in case I thought you’d put it closest to you in case I’d think you’d put it farthest away!” And with that, she boastfully drank all the contents of the shot glass and slammed the cup down on the table. A few second later, her eyes widened in realization. “Yooooou shuck, Shebaaaaaastian,” she slurred angrily.
I roll out of my chair, laughing. “How are you messed up already?!” I roar in laughter, holding my sides. “It was one shot!”
She holds her head in her hands and moans. “I dunnooooo,” she admits, hiccupping slightly. “It jusht happens this waaaaaay!”
I grin at her and wipe the tears of laughter out of my eyes. “You are hilarious, you know that, Twi?”
She smiles shyly, before realizing something. “Does thisssh mean I haaave to tell you shomething now?” she asks quietly.
“Well, you did lose,” I remind her.
She sighs and steels herself up. “I shtilt shleep wit my Shmaaaarty Pantsh doll!” she admits, blushing.
I laugh at her mortified face. “Aww, little baby Twily’s still got her ickle doll to go beddy-bye with!” I coo mockingly.
She glares at me angrily. “Sssshut up!” she protests. “Ish reeeeeeally pershonal!”
I give her a smirk. “Aw, did I hurt little baby Twily’s feelings?” I ask condescendingly.
“Weeeeell, why don’t YOOOOOU drink the other shot glass?” she asks, still blushing.
I widen my eyes. “What?”
“Well yeaaaah!” she says, swaying a bit. “If there’sh only chocolate miiiilk in that glassh, it’ll be a cinch, riiiight?”
I force a smile and look at the glass. Well, here goes nothing, I think to myself as I swallow the bitter-sweet mix, retching inwardly. “See?” I say, coughing a little. “Piece of cake!”
She starts leering at me. “You put the vodka in both cuuuupsh, didn’t yooou?”
I smile sheepishly. “Hey, I didn’t know you’d get drunk so quickly!” I protested.
She gives me a disapproving frown. “Yooooou’ve been a very, veeeery naughty boy, Shebastian!” she says childishly. “Yoou need ta be punished!’
I raise an eyebrow. “Punished how?” I ask.
She gives me a wicked grin. “Drink through half of da vodka bottle!”
I smirk. “And why exactly would I do that?”
She pauses for a moment and smiles. “Cause if you don’t, Imma tell Mr. Morrish all about this!”
I look at her, mortified. “You wouldn’t dare!”
“I doooooo dare, Shebastian!” she laughs drunkenly. “Now do it!”
I wince as I look at the glistening liquid in the bottle. “But it’s yucky!” I whine childishly.
“Too bad!” she grins, hiccupping again. “Now go on, drink!”
I groan and lift the bottle to my lips. Well, goodbye, liver! I think gloomily to myself. It’s been nice knowing you. I steel myself up for the bitter taste and I chug nasty stuff down. When I finish, I look blearily at Twilight. ”You happy?” I say hoarsely, my voice hoarse. Wait, that's redundant...
She smiles sweetly at me. “Veeeeeery,” she responds as she sways over to me.
I look at her strangely. “Whaaat are you doing?” I say, slurring a bit.
“An expeeeeeriment,” she responds, and forces her tongue down my throat.
I barely respond, the alcohol taking effect. Well, there goes two years of self-help tapes, I think dryly as I feel my body go limp.
She pulls at me and gives me a seductive smile. “Hoooooow was thaaaat?” she slurs sexily.
I shrug. “I’ve haaaad better,” I reply.
Her smile quickly turns sour. “Yooooou really are a jeeerk!” she slurs angrily.
I smile drunkenly at her. “Yooooou seem upseeeet,” I chuckle.
She slaps me and starts staggering off into the crowd. “JEEEERK!!” she yells over her shoulder.
Good job, Sebastian! I think to myself. You just avoided what could have very easily been the end of a friendshi- Wait, what’s that?
A set of beats start emanating from the inside of the apartment. Is that… No, it couldn’t be… Is it? I peer awkwardly into the crowd, drawn by the familiar rhythm. It is! “BITH, DITH ITH MAH SONG!!” I yell to no one in particular as I charge into the mosh pit. As I make my way into the center, I hear the beat getting clearer and clearer. God, it’s been so long since I’ve heard this! Here it comes! I jump in the center of the action and yell ”OPPA GANGAM STYLE!”
The crowd laughs and cheers as I put my arms in front of me and start to dance. I savor the attention, adding some of my own moves into the mix as the song goes on. When it’s all over, I grin triumphantly, bow, and fall promptly on the floor. Goodnight, moon, I think giddily to myself as the room goes black.
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Very nice mate
OMG...
OMG I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
Now we need Sebastian to confront a sober Celestia about what we learned...
I agree on,the format
I suspect that the morrow will be a day of amnesia and purgatorial hangovers.