The Equestrian Refugees

by InspectorSharpWit

Chapter The Tenth

Chapter the Tenth, or "In Which the Equestrians are at the DMV"

As I pull up to the building, I feel a familiar sense of horror and foreboding. Here is a site of pure evil, whose name struck even the toughest of men with fear and left the most secure man with nightmares for weeks to come: The Department of Motor Vehicles.

Approximately Two Hours Prior…

“Shy?” I call out as I walk into the kitchen. “You up yet?”

Fluttershy comes in, clad in a white bathrobe with purple trimming. “Good morning, Sebastian,” she yawns. “How did you sleep, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Alright, I guess,” I answer. “Where’s Mac?”

“Oh, Mackie couldn’t stay for breakfast,” she explains, absentmindedly opening the refrigerator. “He and Applejack are looking for jobs.” A syrupy smile slowly spreads across her face. “He had a very special way of saying sorry for it though—”

“Too much info, Shy!” I groan. She squees with embarrassment and busies herself making breakfast.

Suddenly, a knock comes from the door. “I’ll get it,” I grumble as I get up from the table. I open it to find a green-haired kid about twelve years old gorging himself on ice cream.

“Hey Sebastian,” he says nonchalantly.

“Uh, hi Spike,” I answer awkwardly. “Say… isn’t it a bit too early for ice cream?”

“It’s never too early for ice cream, Sebastian,” he assures me, helping himself to another spoonful. “ESPECIALY not Rocky Road!”

“Right… and Twilight’s ok with you giving yourself diabetes?”

He snorts in laughter. “Are you kidding? She’s so wrapped up with studying for that driver’s quiz that the Four Horses of the Apocalypse couldn’t distract her!”

“I see. So, you want me to snap her out of it?”

His eyebrows shoot up in alarm. “What?! No!! Not yet!! I still haven’t gotten to my fifth carton!”

“So why did you come here?”

He shrugs. “I dunno. I thought you might have some cherries or something.”
I sigh. “First shelf on the left, next to the eggs.”

With a grin, he skips into the apartment. I follow him, signaling for Fluttershy to come closer. “Listen, I’m going to Twilight’s apartment to stop her from memorizing every car manual ever written,” I whisper, “make sure Spike doesn’t choke on his ice cream, ok?”

“Oh dear… I’ll try!” she promises me, and she goes off. “Spike? Oh, please don’t eat those cherries… I mean, if it’s not a bother!”

I then turn to the hallway to Twilight’s apartment, which is conveniently located right across from mine. After knocking and waiting for about ten minutes, I just decide to walk in.

Like the Princesses’ suite, Twilight’s apartment has been enchanted to be bigger on the inside, allowing room for several hundred shelves of books, scrolls, tomes, and even some artifacts. In the center of it all is a disheveled Twilight Sparkle, her face almost literally pressed up against the computer screen. “Oh, hey Ivan!” she calls distractedly. “Don’t worry, I won’t fail this time! I’ve been up since yesterday getting ready! I’ll pass on my first try!”

“Uh, Twilight?” I ask unsurely, cautiously getting closer to her. “You won’t have to worry. It’s a state test; they do their hardest to make it easy.”

“Oh, but it’s not just studying!” she replies hurriedly. “I had to get the Psychic Papers ready for everyone, organize our appointments, pack snacks, and everything! After all, the DMV is one of the least productive government facilities spread across the United States! We could be there for days!”

“We are not going to be there for— actually,” I stop myself, remembering the time I had to pay a parking ticket. THE LINES!!! OH, THE HORRID LINES THAT TAKE FOREVER!!! “Maybe that isn’t such a bad idea… Still, how can you drive if you’re all tired? You’ll fail the test for sure!”

“Got that covered too!” she giggles madly, eyes still locked on the screen. “I’ve been drinking those wonderful things you drink before you go to your job. What did you call them? Energy drinks?”

“…How many did you drink?”

“Oh, about seventeen,” she answers absent-mindedly.

SWEET JESUS! Okay, I’ve got an already slightly unstable girl who has enough psychic energy to take down New York City, and now she’s hopped up on seventeen 9 Hour Energies. How screwed am I? Suddenly, an idea pops into my head. “You know, Twi, they do a drug test on you before you drive,” I mention slyly.

“So?” she asks. “I’m clean!”

“Ah, but you don’t look that way!” I reply swiftly. “They’re going to get suspicious.”

“Well, I’ve got nothing to hide!” she declares. “They can check me all they want and they won’t find anything!

“Maybe, the police still mark it on your permanent record as ‘suspicious behavior’. I mean, that stays with you your whole life…”

Her eyes widen in shock. “No. It can’t be!”

“Ah, well!” I sigh. “I’m sure no one will blame you for having an ALMOST perfect record…”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” she screeches, and she automatically encircles herself in a purple aura. She glows a brilliant violet, and then promptly slams her head into the desk.

I lean in to check if she’s alright. Sure enough, she’s snoring away peacefully, apparently already dreaming. “So she does have a detox spell!” I chuckle. “That might come in handy for later…”

Back at the DMV…

“Mvphskd… yes, the answer is Grifski…” Twilight mutters as we sit on the DMV bench.

Applejack laughs. “Man, Ah cain’t believe she slept through us trying to find a parking spot, waitin’ in this here line fer at least a good hour, AND that fat feller trippin’ on the rug!”

Beside her, a gruff-looking guy with brown hair groans. “How in Luna’s name did you win AGAIN, Pinkie?”

Pinkie Pie just grins. “Aw, come on, Joey! I’ve only won 49 games out of 53! I’m sure you’ll win the next one!”

Donut Joe just rips the paper in half. “Forget it, Pinkie Pie, I’m never playing tic-tac-toe with you again.” Turning to me, he gives me an almost threatening look. “Are we there yet?”

I look at the ticket, and then look to the corresponding electric sign. “Nope, there are still fifteen people ahead of us. Get used to this, buddy, we’re gonna be here a while!” I smirk.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is keeping herself occupied with my cellphone. “C’mon, you stupid game, just give me a line piece!!” she growls under her breath.

Applejack eyes the rainbow-haired girl for a while. “She’s sure havin’ fun over there, ain’t she? Ah’d never thought she’d be happy to stay in a line!”

“That’s the power of Tetris, my dear! It’s addictive enough to even keep Rainbow Dash occupied!”

“Well, Ah still say she’s gonna fry a few brain cells if she keeps at it this hard.”

Suddenly, Twilight wakes up. “STOP SIGN!” she yells at the top of her lungs. However, when she realizes where she is, she calms down. “Oh hey guys!” she yawns. “Are we there yet?”

“Not yet,” growls Joe. “We aren’t even close. How the hell have you people survived this all your lives?!”

“With a little thing known as the cellphone app,” I reply serenely. “Anyways, it looks like the line’s picking up! I bet you we’ll be there in ten minutes, tops!”

THREE HOURS LATER

“Finally!” groans Applejack. “That took forever!”

“Really?” asks Twilight. “I thought it started going by super quick when we started playing my review game!”

“That’s what made it so hard,” sniggers Joe.

I elbow him in the ribs. “Alright you guys, you just do your thing, and I’ll be waiting outside. Good luck!”

All of them leave for the testing area except Rainbow Dash. “Just one more round,” she declares, keeping a tight grip on my phone.

I firmly take it out of her hands. “Go!”

“Fine.”

Approximately One Hour Later

“So, how’d you guys do?” I ask as my companions come out of the testing area.

“Aced it in ten seconds flat, man!” crows Rainbow Dash smugly.

Close behind her, a little man is running for the bathroom, already tinted green. “It’s time to retire,” he mutters to himself before flinging open the door.

“Pfft. Wimp!”

Pinkie Pie comes bouncing out of the car as well. “I did great, too! The instructor said I had ‘special skills’!”
Yeah, maybe as a kamikaze, I think to myself, eyeing the instructor’s expression of sheer horror of what she had just released on the road. “What about you, Joe?”

“Eh, it wasn’t so bad,” he admits. “Got an eight out of ten.”

“Well, mah instructor couldn’t tell a wheel from a chicken!” fumes AJ. “Told me Ah had tah come back some other time! Can you believe the NERVE of that lady?!”

“…So, how’d you do, Twi?” I ask nervously, trying hard to change the subject.

The violet-haired girl smiled. “I did alright.”

Her instructor, a skinny guy with a green tie, comes up and shakes her hand over and over. “You were amazing, Miss Sparks!” he cries ecstatically. “I’ve never in my life seen a student get a thirty out of ten on the exam! My Lord! You even knew where the pebbles were on the side of the road!”

Twi blushes bashfully. “Well, thank you, Mr. Sanders!”

“Miss Sparks, it would be my honor if we could discuss your triumph over dinner? Perhaps somewhere in town?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, but I’m busy today! Maybe another time?”

This puts the poor guy out almost immediately. “Oh… Alright— I—I’ll see you around then…”

Twilight looks bemused as the man slowly walks away. “What happened? He looked so happy!”

I chuckle. “You just rejected the poor guy, Twi. Give him time to heal.”

“Rejected?” she repeats. “I just told him I was busy!”

“So you will go out on a date with him?”

“Date?!” she gasps. “He just wanted to have dinner!”

Rainbow Dash just gives me a knowing smile. “She’s normally like this, man. Get used to it.”

“I figured,” I grin. “Come on, lunch is on me.”

And with that, our little group leaves Twilight to ponder over what she really just did. I just hope they're ready for the last test, I think to myself.

Comments

[BenRG]

What's the bet that Rainbow Dash has set a world speed record for a works-standard sedan?

[BlockBreaker911]

ER. MER. GAURD. That was a funny chapter! I just want to know what happened in Pinkie's and Rainbow's Cars. Might make a good side story... just saying...

[primeoetgrunn]

aaaaaaaaaaaand

freaking funny chapter by the way

[codejunkie]

1236849
Oh, Megas! You always make me laugh!

[BBJBS]

CHAPTER
2.bp.blogspot.com/-yDidGhySUVc/TuTOr2o5WzI/AAAAAAAAAQg/Le-9XhL9nlY/s1600/yunoguy.jpg
Y U SO SHORT!?

[D48]

That was hilarious, I am very glad I got it off my read later list.

[Kestrel6]

1236849
Oh, Megas.You took the words right out of my mouth.

Tetris & Rainbow Dash! By Celestia as my witness. Me and her are to go have Battle Royale.