• Member Since 2nd Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 9th, 2015

InspectorSharpWit


T

After Blueblood usurps the Canterlot Throne, the Doctor sends the remaining supporters of the Royal Sisters away in his TARDIS. However, something goes wrong and the Equestrians are sent to 2020 Atlanta. Luckily, Lyra knows a thing or two about humans. Unluckily, everything she knows about humans is based of MTV.
That's where I come in: 22 year old Sebastian Espinosa, a brony all grown up. At least until i saw my favorite characters move into my apartment complex. Now, it's up to me to teach these guys how to live under the guise of humanity. Some crazy stuff is bound to happen... Oh yeah....

Chapters (23)
Comments ( 271 )

sickchirpse.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Jack-Blankenship-The-face.jpg

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. YOU ARE DOING WRITING WRONG GODDAMIT.

Let's start from the beginning shall we?

The description you wrote IS YOUR STORY IN A NUTSHELL. IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT. Bad author! Bad!

Next: WHY THE ROYAL FUCK. IS THIS?! SIMPLE! A SELF-INSERT. Just slap on an MLD tag without the SAD.

NEXT!: "You three are enemies of the State! In the Name of Emperor Blueblood, you are to be arrested and executed for your acts of rebellion!" NO! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW A REBELLION PLAYS OUT?! The guards aren't gonna flip flop like a whore between two desperate men in a bidding war offering her money! They're gonna choose for themselves! Granted they're used as a driving plot point but holy hell c'mon man! Be reasonable!

NEEEEEXT: YOU HAVE AN ENTER KEY GODDAMIT. USE IT.

Next up on wheel of fortune!: Your plot is decent alright, an internal struggle resulting in a coup d'etat? That's smart. BUT NOT WHEN EXECUTED AS SUCH. I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW IF I'M LOOKING AT ENGLISH OR HIEROGLYPHICS.

And finally: " No... WAY!!!" I cry, looking at my computer screen again, just to make sure. But there it was, shining clear as day on my laptop screen:
To Espinosa, Sebastian:
Someone has applied to be your roommate. Shy, Flutter has shown interest in your apartment. She will be coming by for an interview on July 19th, 2020, a week from today"

NOOOOOOOOOO. LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT ME GODDAMIT:flutterrage: YOU,AS AN AUTHOR DO NOT SELF-INSERT YOURSELF AND EXPECT THE GENERAL POPULATION OF FIMF TO NOT DESCEND UPON YOU LIKE A PACK OF ANGRY FARMERS DURING WITCH BURNING SEASON.

What I'm trying to say is: Nice plot, needs work.

Please write more!


(oh yeah,proofreaders gonna criticize)

I have no clue what your raging at Mr. Ignorable, but I think this is great! Look forward to what happens next!

Hmmm...... i guess this kinda story is almost evrey Bronyies(broni? Bronyes?) DREAM WAHOOOO
Needs more charpturs

I am going to read this, because the potential for shenanigans is great. :pinkiesmile:

However, I will give you a bad thumb if you make your self-insert bad. :trixieshiftleft: I am OK with the IDEA of of a self-insert and I am hoping you will do yourself with humility and enough self-awareness. Nopony likes a Mary Sue/Sam. :pinkiehappy:

845417 yes DDF is taking a break for the moment and he's letting me (the rage) out and about.

845375 You know I would love to see what would happen if y'all banned all HiE stories for a day or two. My guess is it'll be like a newly released New Air Jordan's in a predominantly black-neighborhood.

People will flip their shit like Jehovah's Witnesses.

845431
Okie dokie lokie.:pinkiehappy:

845214 Believe or not, this isn't a self insert.:twilightblush: I came up with this completely new character. Originally, this was supposed to be a self insert, but then i figured, why the hell would i do that? Too creepy for me. i'm mostly basing this character off of a friend of mine. Trust me, i would take this a WHOLE different direction if this were to be a self insert.:pinkiecrazy: Other than that, i'm honored you chose to pick on my story, it's good to now i have a following(?), and i'm actually a big fan of yours. I'll try my best to release the next chapter somewhere between later today and Friday. Feel free to rip apart my feelings if need be. All for the sake of a good story!:twilightsmile:

845506 And another thing: The guards being idiots is kind of part of the plot. I'd say more, but then you'll just blow another gasket. And also: There's a sad tag on it? I didn't put that!

845341 Looks great?

ARE YOU HIGH? It looks like mayan only taken apart and stretched from one end to the other.

(now I'm just making fun of god knows what)

The story is alright so far, but your grammar/spelling needs work. Get a prereader, and you'll get my thumb up.

''ALLON-SY!!''

is actually written allons-y (its french)

omg just the time to switch pc's and another chapter yay:pinkiehappy:

Mr. Face? Meet Mr. Palm. :rainbowlaugh:

am i your only fav on this story???

846123 No. There are 18 others on-board the Refugee ship (no pun intended)

ok i thought the ''Rager'' scared everybody off

I like where this story is going! I always think up stories like this, but get stuck on the sub plots, I always think the beginning and ending first. So I really want to see how you come up with the sub plot on this. Can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy:

846259 I've written most of it in advance, so prepare yourself

I'm gonna be honest, I read the prologue, thought it had potential then spent like, I don't know, 20 mins on a comment with tips then just before sending I thought 'maybe I'll read the next chapter' and
you know what?
I just wasted 20 Minutes.
Coulda used it on reading more pony clo- I mean stories! :twilightblush: And this chapter...

Anyways, I like where the story is going!

Okay now I'm interested.

I'll just sit here. Waiting for the next chapter. :pinkiehappy:

I've got most of this particular arc finished, and since this has gotten somewhat popular, I think i'll shoot for at least bi-weekly posts. That sound good? (and I know someone's going to say no...)

I, for one, like where this is going. Also, if you need a pre-reader; I'm your guy. :pinkiehappy:

Story is nice, but your grammar really needs work. Although it's better to have a good story with mediocre grammar than a bad story with immaculate grammar, it's best to have a good story with good grammar. No thumb or fave from me, but I'll be watching this closely to see how it goes.

850520 Alrighty then. I'll send you the next few chapters by Friday. Feel free to suggest anything !:twilightsmile:

Dear Sir you have my atention:moustache:

cmon flutter butter no need to be scared

895347 hrgmmm how so? cause i said flutter butter?

895399 No need to be scared what was scared me a bit.

895424 awww dont you worry bout nothing all id do to flutterbutter is hug her like a teddybear all day

The bit with Pinkie was genius.:pinkiehappy:

Anywho, I kinda skimmed though chapter one. Can I have a list of the humanized ponies?

895772
Zecora, the Cakes, the Apples (Ponyville branch), Braeburn, Snips, Snails, the Donkeys, Trixie, Soarin, Spitfire, Nurse Redheart, Cheerilee, Gilda, Lyra, Bon-Bon, Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, Chief Thunderhooves, Little Strongheart, the other two Whooves (Derpy and Dinky), Aloe and Lotus, Spike, Scootaloo, Sweetie Bell, Shining Armor, Princess Cadence and of course, the Elements of Harmony. At the controls were the two royal princesses themselves, Princesses Celestia and Luna. And of course Doctor Whooves

BTW, That was awesome

896198 They're all living under one roof?? A pinkiegasp is not enough for this situation! We need a proper jawdrop emotiocon, and as big as possible!
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896198 Not Carrot Top, I actually meant Derpy. Oh, and by the way, pets will soon be included in a future chapter.

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