Fast Times at Stinky Sugar

by PresentPerfect

Take It Up to the Top

Take It Up to the Top
by Present Perfect

Sunset Shimmer could only watch in mute horror as the ball of luminous energy absorbed the girl she knew as Twilight Sparkle. Her eyes were fixated on Twilight's as they filled with fearful tears. And then Twilight was gone. What emerged next, none could have anticipated.

It wasn't Twilight Sparkle. She wore sexy ripped fishnets and an awesome magic-light mask. She had feathered demon wings that she didn't even have to flap to stay in the air. Most of all, Sunset saw the horn: the long, jagged horn that looked like...

She gasped.

"Changeling!"

The dark Twilight cackled. "You're right! I didn't understand magic before, but I--wagh!"

Her evil speech was cut short as Sunset ran forward, vaulted into the air, grabbed her by the ankles and dragged her to earth.

"Code purple!" she shouted hysterically, punching evil Twilight in the face over and over.

"Ow!" Twilight batted ineffectually at Sunset's fists. "Get off me, you crazy bitch!"

"Code purple, code purple!"

She broke Twilight's magic glasses and tore her evil dress. Twilight's right eye started swelling shut.

Those around them quietly backed away.

"Uhh... Should we help her?" Applejack scratched her head.

"Which one?" Rainbow asked.

"What's a 'code purple'?" Pinkie drew in a huge gasp. "Oh my gosh, is that racist? Is Sunset racist against purple people?"

Up on the stage, Luna and Cadence exchanged confused looks. Celestia reached for her hip flask.

"Um," she said into the microphone.

"Celestia!" screamed Sunset as she banged Twilight's head against the ground. "Activate Fluffy Nougat! Operation Candy Crunch!"

Twilight took this moment to assert herself, grabbing Sunset by the throat and throttling her to the ground. Sunset grabbed two handfuls of her hair and pulled until Twilight released her grip with a screech. Twilight threw a left hook, scoring a direct hit on Sunset's nose. Shaking herself, Sunset rallied and karate chopped Twilight in the neck. Gasping, Twilight somehow held her own, biting down on Sunset's ear.

The other students in the courtyard egged them on, taking bets as to who would win. By this point, Principal Cinch had made her way on stage and was getting in Celestia's face.

"What exactly do you intend to do about that... that ruffian assaulting my prize student?"

"Not a damned thing," Celestia said, not looking at Cinch.

Dean Cadence and Vice-Principal Luna shared a look before running off toward the fight.

"First it's wings," Celestia continued, "then killer plants. Now you're whining about a fist fight. Does nothing please you? Kids will be kids."

Cinch sputtered incoherently for a few moments as Celestia drained her flask.

"Why... I have never been so insulted!"

Celestia snorted, hocked a loogie on the ground at Cinch's feet, and winked at her. "Get used to it, short legs. My money's on Twilight."

Author's Note:

Y'know what this movie needed? More high school girls getting into fist fights. :V Don't worry; if you liked this, there's more where it came from. The title of this piece comes from near the end of the "Acadeca" song. "Activate Fluffy Nougat, Operation Candy Crunch" is a longtime saying of my friend Miles that I cannot take credit for.

Comments

[PresentPerfect]

I am so bad at this

[JediWaffles]

6634157
No you're not bro, no you're not.

[PresentPerfect]

6634472
I mean the "updating on time" thing. D:

[FanOfMostEverything]

Actually, Twilight's horn just seems to have a very exaggerated spiral groove, not the jagged, hole-riddled spike of a changeling. Still, I can definitely understand how Sunset could make the mistake. Good to see that she hasn't forgotten the anti-changeling training that Princess Celestia gave her. It's a shame Celestia decided that her biggest failing with Sunset was giving her too much information. How else do you explain Twilight always working without all of the facts?

[JediWaffles]

6634533
Nah, you're not bad 'til ya start having random hiatuses. I personally prefer being surprised with an update anyway.

[DragonFireRider]

"What's a 'code purple'?" Pinkie drew in a huge gasp. "Oh my gosh, is that racist? Is Sunset racist against purple people?"

*sigh*
do I have to point out what this is reffing to, do I?
have a picture
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/3/3a/Purple_Man_and_the_Killer.png/revision/latest?cb=20150306165859

[HB_DS2013]

We DO NEED more girls going into fist fights.

[MissSparklePony1]

So,,,,,Who wins?

[PresentPerfect]

6635017
Actually, that line is the last remnant of a story I had planned for this collection, but was convinced was funnier in my head than it actually was. It was about Applejack and Indigo Zap starting a White Power movement and then Rarity pointing out that she is white and they're some shade of peach. :B Again, funnier in my head.

6635258
I think it's safe to say that we're all winners. :V

[Lurks-no-More]

6635572
I'm pretty sure Applejack is actually a shade of apple.

[keaton-furman-prower]

After this, Cinch is going to start drinking too, isn't she?

[Eroraf86]

YES

YES

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