Hidden Threats
Celestia
Celestia walked towards the jailhouse in Timberton. The town itself was small as it rested near the border of Equestria and the Griffin kingdom. It had the old rustic charm to it as it served as a trading point in-between the two kingdoms. In time it might even grow to be it’s own Majestic City like Canterlot as it was one of the few places where Griffin and pony culture managed to mix together peacefully without clashing into each other. In time it might not even be that uncommon to see more ponies or griffins visiting each other's kingdoms.
She couldn’t help but feel like sighing as she noticed the crowd nearby the jailhouse. The place was built to hold ponies or griffins who had drunk to much or to lock away the those involved in the random bar fight. Sure they had a few scuffs, but nothing ever serious. Right now every pony and griffin in town kept an eye at the jailhouse with either grim or vengeful looks. One of the griffins was sharpening a butcher blade as he set up shop near an open window of the jailhouse.
As soon as she stepped inside Sheriff Good Heart bowed “It’s an honor to have you at our small town Princess Celestia.”
Celestia smiled as the sheriff seemed like a nice unicorn. Light brown coat with dark brown hair with a silver star for a cutie mark. He levitated out a set of keys as he escorted her to the jail cells. Most of them were empty as the sound of the butcher blade sharpening outside grew louder. At the very end of the jailhouse rested three cells and a window with an angry griffin outside.
The first two ponies simply rested in the corner of their cells with blankets wrapped around them. They stared at her in disbelief for a few moments before trying to avoid her gaze. The Pegasus tried to pretend he was asleep while the unicorn started looking for a way out of the cell that didn’t involve running into her.
The last cell… the earth pony shivered in fear. The blanket wrapped around her clung to her sides as she was sweating heavily. She didn’t even seem to notice the cell door being unlocked as she stared at the wall.
“Ms. Brass.” Good Heart spoke out loud “You have a visitor.”
She turned around in anger only to see Celestia as the mare's pupils began to shrink down in fear. The same type of fear Lockheart seemed to have when he first saw her. Brass quickly scooted back on her hind legs until her back hit the wall leaving her trapped in a corner of the cell.
“Could you explain why you attacked the caravans?” Celestia asked out loud.
Good Heart was about to say something until Brass quickly shouted in panic “To distract the town! Let them focus on us instead of Sanguine Point!”
Good Heart’s mouth was left wide open in disbelief that she corporate so easily with Celestia and that Ms. Brass's actions wasn’t just an act of robbery… and murder. Celestia on the other hoof cast her magic as she tried to get a better feel of Ms. Brass.
Fear was obvious and after the mare's encounter with Remedy Cross and being stuck in a town that wanted to hang her it was easy to see why she was a nervous wreck. What bothered Celestia though was the magic around her. It wasn’t the same brand as Lockheart’s… but it was off.
Like one of those foal coloring books. Everything looked alright, but all of the colors were wrong as they had drawn Canterlot Castle except they used pink or purple instead of white. To a normal pony she would look normal, but anyone who could sense magic would be able to notice something was off about her.
“What was this stallion after?” Celestia slowly replied letting Brass work herself up.
If it was physically possible Brass would have would have shrunk deeper into the corner of the room as small amounts of dust kicked up underneath her hooves.
“I don’t know!” She quickly replied in panic “Just some magic artifact. We do the bandit act. He steals the goods. The town finds it missing and blames us for the act.”
Celestia casted all the spells she knew of to strip away illusions. The mare didn’t budge as the foreign magic resisted it. Celestia didn’t let it show, but the mare didn’t have any illusions cast on her. It was all physical alterations… the earth pony body was just muscle enchants and regeneration, but none of the natural earth pony magic. Even then the foreign magic shifted about trying to resist the spell even though it hadn’t done anything.
Celestia spoke out loud “Why did you attack the caravans at first?”
“Money.” Brass responded quickly “Lost in the woods… then some big smoky thing grabs me and dumps me in the wild west. Grabbed some others and showed them a few tricks.”
She grinned in bliss for a moment as she fondly replied “No guns. No violence. Just a quick stick up and some looten. Easy money.”
Celestia made note of the wood “guns” as they seemed to be some type of weapon or magic. Brass didn’t even seem ashamed about committing the robberies. In fact she seemed proud of them. Grant it griffins like to prove their strength, but she had yet to see a race that took pride in the act of stealing.
“And the deaths?” Celestia couldn’t help but reply with disdain.
Brass’s quickly shifted from outright shock to fear “That’s when new management arrived. I just had a few boys in my group. Two dogs, a griffin, and two ponies. Big enough to keep us out of trouble, but small enough for even splits of the profit.”
Good Heart shook his head “So you started robbing us only for somepony to take over? You’ve been at this for three months!”
Brass blinked “Three months? Funny… it felt like I just started last week really.”
Celestia focused on Brass “Where you lost in a large forest? Others running around having no idea what was going on?”
Good Heart stared at Celestia in confusion “How did you know? I mean… there wasn't a lot of folks there. Every idiot was running about like chickens with their heads cut off until smokey came along and dumped me here”
"And you didn't find that strange?" Good Heart replied back as he clearly didn't believe a single word of her tale.
Brass snapped back “Lost in the woods. Frightened scared and a fuck long way from home!”
A brick from the celling fell on Brass’s head as she struggled not to shout out loud. The strange magic seemed to activate when she said something. Celestia checked to see if she had any chaos magic in his body only to find a small trace of it dancing about. Nowhere near as dangerous as Lockheart’s amount, but there was enough to easily notice it if somepony knew about chaos magic.
“When did the killing start?” Celestia replied as she felt uneasy about the answer.
Brass was about to snap back until she realized Celestia said it and went back to being scared “When the new management arrived. Brought a lot more people under his wing and a fuck load of crazy!”
The tiny flare of chaos magic acted up again making another brick fall on her head. Celestia could now tell it was acting up whenever she swore… or at least what counted as swearing to her.
She rubbed her head “That’s when the killing started. Granit said no and the creepy fucker took off his head.”
This time Brass held a hoof over her head only for a glass bottle to somehow fly in-between the bars of the window and smash against the side of her head. Brass just glared at the celling as the tiny flare of chaos magic settled back. Apparently she also knew that swearing caused it to act up.
Good Heart shook his head in disbelief “Wait! He killed somepony just because they said no?”
Brass chuckled bitterly “No… He killed the diamond dog and then held the head up to the rest of us and told us we didn’t have a choice. Submit or die. So we did and prepared to bolt the first chance we got. That’s when the attacks increased and the bloodshed came in to the Caravans. Those who refused joined the dead.”
Now Good Heart looked sick. Celestia couldn’t blame him as she felt sorry for Brass. She did commit crimes, but she didn’t hurt anypony. Sure still deserved to be punished… but it was clear that this Sanguine Point was the real problem plaguing this town.
“What do you know about him?” Celestia asked trying to get an understanding of this problem.
Brass shrugged only for another brick to fall on her head “No freaking clue.” She glared at the celling “Only that he isn’t a real unicorn and the sick freak likes to kill. Must have been a convicted serial killer or something. No idea how he got here of all places.”
Good Heart looked back at Celestia “So… what do you want to do with her?”
Break—
Valkyrie
Showers. It’s funny how I never really cared about them before. It was just a way to get clean.
I tried to keep to myself as I avoided the gaze of the other mares in the shower. I just wished I could have a private shower as they all kept staring at my butt… well my ‘flank’ trying to figure out my cutie mark.
First day it was annoying having them stare as I tried to figure out the right amount of shampoo that was required(Showering was so much easier as a human) . By the end of the third day it went from staring at me like I was some sort of freak to rumors about what my stupid butt mark is supposed to be. Considering how long a couple of them stare at me I can’t help but wonder if their gay or just can’t comprehend my rear being blank.
I've gotten sick of hearing ponies ask if my cutie mark is the same color of my coat or something equally as stupid. I don't know what my "special talent" is supposed to be and quite frankly it wouldn't help me when I went back home so why bother?
It’s actually sad that I actually envy Lockheart right now. Private shower. Private room… even if it’s a jail cell. He’s even getting private lessons in magic for Pete’s sake! Meanwhile I’m trying to keep a log of my activates and try to forgot about the cursed magic point system.
I mean spend a point. Gain new skill and lose some memories? It’s practically gambling with your life! Still at least my memories are mine… and I don’t have an identity issue. Still don’t have a “pony name” but then again I can’t even remember my “real name” either. Valkyrie has a nice ring to it… but it’s not pony-ish as it earns me a few stares. Still it’s better than Overkill. That blasted nickname doesn’t seem to want to die!
If I find out who spread that nickname to the rest of the guard I’ll give them a knuckle sandwich… or a face full of hoof. I seriously need new pony terms to help express my frustration.
“Don’t bother her.” One of the mares whispered “She’s the one who keeps breaking all the training equipment.”
I turned off the shower and walked out before the gossip set in. I quickly dried myself off with a towel as I felt better. Now that I was getting the hang of hooves I didn’t feel like a cripple anymore. My old armor rested inside one of the lockers as I quickly strapped it on.
The suit was heavy, but unlike most pony fashion it could be altered. With a quick adjustment to some saddlebags they covered my blank flank and kept the saddlebags secure. I don’t care if the rest of the ponies go ‘natural’ but I prefer something covering my body… even if it’s a suit of armor.
As soon as I walked outside a pony stood to greet me. Steel something. One of the few ponies I don’t mind being around as he at least feels normal. No idea what he’s thinking, but that’s just it. He’s thinking instead of blurting the first idiotic thing on his mind. That and Steel isn’t that strange of a name considering how many fantasy books I’ve read.
“Hey Steel.” I shouted as he simply nodded. “So what’s happening?”
Steel glanced at the skies as I couldn’t help but stare at his dirt brown coat and gray mane “Now… we’re trying snow. You’re less likely to have an accident with this exercise and fall is coming so having another pegasus on hoof for winter wouldn’t hurt.”
“Snow?” I glanced at the bright sunny skies “Won’t it be hard with all the… sun?”
Steel glanced at be now in confusion “Why would that make a large difference?”
“Heat?” I nervously replied “Or… sunlight.”
One of Steel’s eyebrows rose “You do realize that the clouds will block the sunlight… and sure it won’t be as easy as it would be during the winter, but here in Equestria we make the weather.”
I nodded in frustration. Magic... That was the answer to everything as my normal logic obviously had no place in a land full of unicorns and pegasi. Steel flew over to one of the clouds as I followed after him and landed on the cloud.
It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve done it as my hooves land firmly on the cloud. I can’t help but think I’m about to fall through them any moment. It always feels like I’m at the edge of some fluffy soft thing… like marshmallows or really fluffy cotton… and I’m just one step away from falling off the edge.
It doesn’t matter how many steps I take they all feel the same. My mind tells me it’s impossible, but my body make it feel like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like it’s crazy to think that a cloud could harm me or that I shouldn’t feel strange at feeling so calm as I rest my wings in the air.
Steel took a small walk around the cloud before jumping off and pushing it towards the next area. I grabbed the cloud and tried to keep a good grip on it.
“Don’t think about the ground. Or how your grabbing it. It’s just like your wings.” I thought back in my head “It’s magic.”
The cloud soon stopped as I sighed in relief. My menu popped up revealing I had earned a new skill point as it even shows a section of weather management. I shut the cursed window and the abundance of points out of my sight. I don’t care how easily I’m earning them right now. I’m not giving up any more of my memories!
“Are you okay?” Steel asked out loud.
I shook off my doubts and replied “I’m alright. Just thinking about… things.”
It’s now been a week since I’ve seen Lockheart. A week since Stardust left to visit her family… why hasn’t she come back? Was she a pony suffering human memories… or was he suffering from a conflict of split personalities? What about Lockheart? Why did he let me be the one to pick when we leave? Had he spoken to Stardust? Why hadn’t any of the rest of humanity come to Canterlot?
I glanced back at Steel apparently waiting for an answer “Just how things are different… and how long I have left to stay. I mean at some point I’m going to have to find a way to earn some money… and lodging.”
Steel coughed into his hoof “You could… always try joining the royal guard.”
“I highly doubt it.” I quickly replied as I suppressed a shiver.
He stepped closer “Why not?”
“Because…” My mouth hung open as I tried to find a reason.
“It’s complicated? I’m not from Equestria? I’m human?” My mind screamed out.
Instead Discord’s voice seem to dance in my mind “It’s easy money. You don’t have a job and they don’t care. I’d say you’re a pesagi unless humans walk on clouds during their free time.”
I felt like snapping back at the voice only to realize that it was right “Well it’s complicated. I mean… guard duty.”
Discord’s voice chuckled “It’s not part of the game. In games you get quick short runs. You do jobs, they only last a few minutes before you go back onto your grand adventure. Heroes in stories don’t take day jobs. You don’t want to admit it’s real. That it’s really happening. That there isn’t some sort of quick fix or grand adventure that will solve everything.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath “Because I’m frightened."
“Frightened of what?” Steel asked.
I felt a hoof on my shoulder. Strangely I didn’t recoil from it. I didn’t like the other ponies touching me. It felt strange yet… I didn’t mind this time?
An explosion rang out as fire danced across the town. Two ponies were running out of the castle with a pony on their back. I recognized Stardust lying unconscious one of their backs. I jumped off the cloud and shot straight down towards them in rage. One turned around as a green shield appeared before him as I crashed into it.
The unicorn laughed “Sorry about that. I thought you were one of them.”
I stared at him in confusion. A title floated above his head Dream Maker. He had dark blue fur covering his body and dark green mane in a ponytail of all things. The other unicorn beside him had the title Blinker as he had orange coat and purple mane styled in dreadlocks. On Dream Maker’s back was Stardust.
“What are you doing?” I replied back keeping my eyes on them.
Dream Maker chuckled “Doing what needs to be done. I’m bringing us home and Rarity is going to do it for us.”
Before I could react Blinker’s horn glowed before they suddenly disappeared. I slammed my hooves at the ground in frustration as I had let them escape! What the hell where they planning to do with my friend!
Steel landed as he shouted “What happened?”
“They took Stardust!” I screamed out “I hesitated and they escaped!”
Steel Wing would have simply knocked them out. Steel Wing would have caught on that Blinker meant teleporter. Why couldn’t I be more like Steel Wing instead of my worthless old self?
Steel moved closer “Did you get a good look?”
“Two unicorns…” I muttered in frustration “dark blue coat. Dark green mane. The one with the orange coat and purple mane could teleport.” I shook my head “Can we get some unicorn to check where they went… or maybe get Celestia?”
Steel looked at me in sorrow “We can’t. None of the unicorns would be able to tell where they went… and Celestia was just called away. Something happened at Timberton.”
No Celestia. No magic back trace. I just let Stardust who came back to the castle… to possible talk to us only to get kidnapped. I huffed in frustration as I could feel teeth grinding against each other. I needed help and nobody could help me…
“I need to talk to Lockheart!” I shouted out loud “We need to find those two bastards and right away!”
******
Lockheart
I glanced over the dead chicken bones. Green flames rested inside the joints of the dead bird as it walked about on the table making it looked possessed. Remedy Cross kept jotting away in her journal apparently excited at my new skill. I made the walking skeleton navigate the made out of tinker tot toys and colorful blocks as it slowly pushed the ball to the end of the maze.
“That’s actually impressive.” She replied “Tell me. How did you animate it? What magical theorem did you use? Did you focus on each step or?”
“I just moved it.” I quickly replied “I filled the joints and made it walk.”
Remedy just stared at me “Filled the joints?” Her horn glowed lifting the block underneath my undead chicken’s feet forcing it to readjust it’s weight preventing it from falling off the block “That’s a lot more than just filling in the joints.”
I shrugged “The bones are in place. It walks about. I just have it do what the body can do. It’s not that complicated.”
Remedy looked as if she was going to pull out her hair “That’s simultaneous movement of countless joints based on natural movement instead of magical manipulation…” She pulled out the other chicken skeleton “You should be running into errors or scrapping bone!”
Her skeleton chicken walked towards mine. The movements were unnatural as it glowed blue with each joint jerking about. When her undead chicken flapped it’s wings to control its balance as the sockets moved apart or went straight out of their joints.
“And yet yours?” Her skeleton chicken crashed into mine. Mine flapped it’s wings only to crash onto the floor. My undead chicken moved it’s wings to pick itself up like a human would use their arms to push themselves off the ground “It just acts normal. Can you even get it to move past it’s joints?”
I licked my lips as I tried to place more magic into it. My undead chicken kept flapping it’s wings trying to get back up to the table only for her undead chicken to glide down before flapping it’s wings and flying around my undead chicken like some sort of undead vulture.
“How do you get it to fly?” I asked back in confusion “Chickens can’t fly.”
“Making it fly is easy!” She almost shouted back “Heck making one 'fly' is a common mistake! How can you not do it?”
We both groaned. I stared getting an understanding, but not an idea… or the same idea she had. Her magic animate the bones or something… and mine connect it together. It’s like readying the same book and getting two different stories out of it.
“And yet you only just started to get levitation down.” She muttered in annoyance.
I frowned “It’s tricky.”
She glared at me “Tricky is life like imitations.” She pulled the ball up in the air with her magic “Tricky is trying to get the numerous joints working together and having it navigate a maze while pushing a ball!”
She nearly face hoofed “How can you get an undead chicken to get a ball past this maze and not levitate it out on your own?”
The doors opened up as I shouted “Finally. Please tell me…”
“I need your help Lockheart!” Shouted Valkyrie.
I turned my head as I saw the panic on her face. She was breathing heavily as some pegasi was right behind her also breathing heavily. Honestly I was expecting Celestia.
The unknown pegasi whispered loudly “We should get the guards. Search the area.”
Valkyrie ignored him “Two unicorns ki… Foalnapped Stardust. No marks. One teleported.”
My blood ran cold as my undead chicken fell to the ground. The pegasi stared at the bones in with a look of fear while Valkyrie didn’t seem to notice. I quickly got off of the couch and went over to… help her or something.
First step was to calm her down “Look we can get Celestia. Tell her about them.”
She shook her head “I could have stopped them… they talked about finding a way to fix it. They called her Rarity.”
It clicked together in the back of my mind as I felt a cold sweat run down my back. Heroes and villains. I’m a villain and the hero side is getting put together. The elements of harmony…
“Names.” I quickly whispered back.
“They didn’t give any.” She replied, but my menu popped up as the message read “Blinker and Dream Walker. Blinker Teleports.”
Neat she finally found the message system. I’m going to need her to teach me where to find the blasted thing!
I simply nodded “Rarity. They said Rarity?”
“They called Stardust Rarity.” She replied uneasily “They claimed she could fix everything.”
I cursed under my breath as my throat burned in pain as my locket burned across my neck. No chaotic green flames danced out of my mouth, but the burning sensation wasn’t that pleasant. I glanced as the silver heart shaped locket that Celestia had made for me to help keep the chaotic magic under control.
“Lockheart?” Valkyrie asked again out loud snapping me back to the current situation.
I already had a similar discussion… well a question similar to it about something else. Dear god please don’t let it be what I think it is.
Remedy spoke out loud “What is it Lockheart?”
I closed my eyes “Ever heard about Thor’s hammer?” And prepared myself for the worst of it.
“Can’t be moved by those not worthy… This is Stardust we are talking about!” Valkyrie snapped at me “She can’t possibly.”
“She looks close enough.” I muttered under my breath “More importantly if they don’t care about ethics there’s a lot they can do with that.”
“Ethics?” the pegasi asked “Do you think they’re going to kill her or something!”
I sighed “There is an old debate on the subject of Thor’s Hammer. A few questions asked about how one could move such a hammer. If someone put it on a cart then could you push the cart? If the hammer was placed on a table and then you break the table would that count as moving it? That sort of stuff.”
They all stared at me. I didn’t like thinking about the other twisted methods. Who decides? What counts as right as long as it fits? Heck the old harry potter wand bit has a lot of confusion and manipulations done with it.
“One question was… if you make someone like Thor… then could he or she pick up the hammer?” I slowly replied dreading the next response.
Remedy blinked “Make someone?”
Valkyrie’s stared at me not wanting to believe it as I simply nodded “Elements of Harmony. If a pony matches the element than they can use it… then would it matter if you did a bit of mind magic to make a personality that matched it?”
Valkyrie shook her head “You can’t be serious. Even then the amount of…”
“Min-Max.” I simply replied “The question isn’t if they can do it, but how… ethical they’ll be. If it only cost six lives to get what they want? Then all that’s left is tweaking the personality until it’s just right even if you have to wipe it clean.”
The pegasi shook his head “Alright. Worst case scenario we have a group of crazed cultist, but we can’t do much right now. We don’t know where they are!”
I hung my head “Everfree forest. Castle of the two sisters. Properly near the throne room.”
The pegasi stared at me as Remedy asked “What makes you think that?”
I sighed “Because that’s my blackmail. That’s where the Elements of Harmony are being kept hidden by Celestia and apparently those two ponies know about it.”
******
I didn’t enjoy the sky cart at all. I don’t care if two pegasi were pulling the dam thing it still made me feel uneasy as Valkyrie and Steel Halberd pulled us towards the Everfree Forest. The forest with it’s own rules that I know nothing about and couldn’t help but wonder if the cart would suddenly fall apart if it flew to close to the forest.
I glanced down over Canterlot. It was strange seeing it from above. It was stranger not seeing the train tracks or a small Ponyville in the distance. I could see the forest, but Ponyville wasn’t even being built or even founded as it was just left as a large patch of dirt and open fields.
I couldn’t help but shiver as the response only reminding me of my wings. It had taken a week for me to get used to my new alien body and pretending to be a pony. My strange wings twitched at being so far up in the sky as I began to wonder if they would keep me from falling.
I could feel a scent in the air as it seemed the very taste of the air changed as we flew above the clouds. I tried to shut my eyes only to have my changeling side enhance my other senses. I could feel the worry and doubt from Valkyrie the guilt hang over her leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.
I could hear the rapid heartbeat and even the sweet scent of fear emanated from Steel as we drew closer to the forest. His pride and concern outweighed his fear… but I could tell the concern was only directed towards Valkyrie. Either he thought me and Remedy could take care of ourselves as he was worried about Valkyrie or he didn’t really care what happened to us. If he was human than I’d be more inclined for the second reason, but ponies… I still have a hard time figuring them out.
Remedy seemed emotionless on the surface as the ride didn’t bother her at all, but the torrent of emotions mixed together seemed to leave her wide open. I could taste the excitement at the prospect of adventure. The tingle of amusement as she watched Steel try to overcome his fear of the Everfree forest, but most of all I could taste her unadulterated rage after my discussion of mind control.
I forced my eyes open again as my changeling senses seemed to die down. I didn’t like how that aspect seemed to have grown during my encounter with Discord. It just felt wrong being able to look so deeply into them.
Before that ability was more of an emphatic ability as I could gauge their emotions better… especially when I was feeding on it. Even then I could mostly tell if it was positive or negative when my horn tried feeding on the emotion given out. Now I was starting to be able to get a better idea of the emotions and where they were directed without even trying to replenish my strength.
It was one thing to be trapped in a new body, but to be able to have access to an entire array of senses that didn’t belong was sometimes overwhelming. The feel of the wind in my wings, the scent of emotions around me, or even the shifts of transformation or alteration of my own body as it tried to readjust itself to better fit the wind blowing past me.
Was I just getting used to this new body as I was just getting used to them or where some of them caused by the chaotic fluxes of the chaos magic resting in my body. Hell for all I know the explanation could be because I was given a villain card unlike everyone else so far.
It was hard to keep track of all the subtle background senses that seemed to change every few seconds. The wings acting up in the air. The emotional sense and tingle near those with strong emotions or simply when I’m feeling hungry. The nagging fear in the back of my mind as I keep having to place so many things I don’t understand as simply “magic” because it doesn’t make sense to me.
I glanced at my menu as it flickered about. Glitched… broken… I didn’t have to worry about losing my memories and now I couldn’t use it. Instead I spit out chaotic fire when I curse and possibly made a deal with the devil… well pre-reformed Discord anyway.
“An Element of Harmony for Immortality.” I couldn’t help but say in the back of my mind “And now I’m having to rush into the place… because some idiots plan to use mind control to try to get it to work.”
Did Discord know that someone would try to do this or did he just simply guess we might end up ruining things ourselves?
Did it surprise me that someone would try to use mind control? Desperation with a healthy dash of “For The Greater Good” can make anyone commit vile acts without so much as batting an eye. Just throw the number game in for good measure and reduce it to six lives vs… however many were sent here and you could easily convince a crowd that it was the right plan… just as long as they were not part of the “Noble Sacrifice”.
Then simply dump points into mind control as you get the rest of the Min-Maxers to protect you and you have a perfect formula for this lovely brand of insanity. If it doesn’t work the first time then keep using mind control to tweak their minds until it works. The fact they called her Rarity means they plan to go a step further.
Why keep a flawed human personality when Rarity can use it? Pesky memories in the way? Why not use that delete function or simply rip them out until you place the known cannon memory of what you think Rarity should be and then just keep tweaking it until you get the perfect Rarity.
Now I’m left with three choices… Grab the elements and give them to Celestia. Grab an element and make the discord bargain since the Elements of Harmony will be used as a source of conflict… which also works for Discord. Then there is the final option to let the players who kidnapped six random people to try their insane idea. Maybe it’ll work. Heck the TV showed a lot of different version of mind magic including the “alicorn love spell” which was perfectly acceptable just as long as Princess Cadence did it.
“That’s not why you’re worried.” I could hear my voice whispering in the back of my skull “You’re worried you’ll screw up. Low level skills vs very powerful one trick players.”
I took a deep breath as the venomous voice continued whispering my unspoken fears “Or maybe you’re just afraid that Discord was right. That there’s nothing waiting for you back home. That you’ll play the villain simply because you don’t want the heroes to succeed. You’re afraid that the Title Usurper is who you’ll really be. Just another villain that needs to be blasted away by the heroes.”
The pegasi cart finally lands as I happily left my grim thoughts on the cart of focus on more pleasant thoughts like running through an enchanted forest full of monsters that would want to eat me… How did this happen again? Oh right evil crazy nut jobs.
Steel Halberd shook himself like a dog before he walked towards the Everfree forest nervously. Valkyrie on the other hand was racing towards the tree line trying to find any trace of the criminals… or where Ponyville would soon stand. It sounds silly, but the path to the Two Sisters Castle was near Ponyville. No Ponyville meant no easy way to follow track in a forest with an ever-growing deadly array of monsters.
Remedy Cross quickly caught up to Valkyrie leaving me in the back of the group. With one deep breath I started the trek that would either save Stardust… or doom myself. I opened my menu and set the quest tracker function. A nice small arrow appeared pointing me to the castle.
One small gift from Discord to ensure I wouldn’t get lost... unless I ran into a monster den or something only the way. Still better than nothing.
******
Steel Halberd
It was strange walking about in the forest. The plants seemed to defy all logic as a blue marrow hawk rested beside a nimbi root. Never mind the two species needed to be grown in completely different habitats or found on the opposite ends of Equestria, but here they were both in bloom.
It was almost tempting to pick them… if he didn’t see a large lizard jump on the plants only for some sort of stinger to suddenly piece the lizard’s body and dragged it into the darkness. He glanced at a small manticore’s body… Equestria’s number one predator strung up in a spider web as countless spiders crawled across it’s body slowly tearing it apart and doing something to it. The manticore’s eyes were glossed over, but the beast was still breathing despite the lack of flesh and blood.
Steel would take facing a dragon head on than explore the Everfree Forest… which sadly made it a great place to hide if you invoked the wrath of Celestia and didn’t have enough time to cross Equestria’s borders. Of course the fact many criminals didn’t was because it’s the Everfree Forest. The deeper you went the worst it got.
He glanced over at Valkyrie… or Overkill as Lockheart called her. Sure the nickname made sense seeing her in the armor… but it didn’t feel right. Valkyrie… just had a better ring even if it was foreign.
The bushes began to shake forcing him to pull out his Halberd. Four Timber Wolves jumped out of the bushes growling only for Valkyrie to charge them. Her hooves smashed through the skull of the first one taking them by surprise as she smashed through the second one’s skull with ease making the two surviving ones flee.
“Come back and face me you cowards!” She screamed in rage
Lockheart continued down the path he only seemed to know as Remedy followed him. Valkyrie was angry and wanted to lash out at something. Lockheart didn’t even give the bodies a second glance which kind of unnerved Steel.
Was it the fact he trusted her skill to defeat the Timberwolves… or that he wasn’t bothered at seeing dead bodies even if they were Timberwolves?
Before he could think more about it there was a shout in the distance. Valkyrie shot forth towards the scream as they all raced after her. Steel kept his halberd ready in case it was the cultist again… Honestly he was hoping for kidnappers, but the cultist image Lockheart painted was stuck in his mind… even more so in this cursed forest.
Kidnappers you dealt with a ransom or by threatening they would feel the wrath of the Royal Guard. Cultist just didn’t care and would usually speed up their plans.
After pushing past a through a couple of branches and over a few fallen trees did they find the source of the distress. A large serpent like creature snapped at the earth pony. It had two large wings on it’s back as dozens of smaller legs pushed it forward more like a centipede than normal limbs. The earth pony’s sword swung down making it back away hissing before sparks flew out of the snake creature’s mouth. Steel covered his eyes for just a second from the bright shower of light.
Before he could opened his eyes he heard the creature screamed in pain. Four identical earth ponies now stood staring at the monster in confusion as blood dripped from it’s mouth. One of the illusions flickered away revealing a sharp jagged rock.
Lockheart shouted “Run!”
The earth pony’s eyes widened as he ran towards them. Right behind him was the serpent creature hissing in rage as it used the wings to propel itself forward.
“Valkyrie! Wings!” Steel Halberd shouted.
Already she took off into the air as he followed behind her. The serpent noticed them as it twisted it’s body back and snapped its tail forth like a whip. Steel flew close to the ground as the tail tore through the trees nearby as if they were nothing. Valkyrie managed to doge the attack as she was above the monster. She plowed straight into one of the wings as her metal clawed boots left a deep gash in it.
The serpent screamed out in pain giving him enough time to get close. The halberd dug into the other wing as it tore through flesh and muscle ruining the wing as the creature turned around to bite him. Instead a blue aura glowed across it’s legs as a painful snap echoes in the air as it fell over on its side. The legs on its left side were broken in weird angles as soon copies of himself as Valkyrie flew about in the air.
The serpent rolled about trying to use it’s wings to get back up as blood splashed about all over the place. Valkyrie took another dive against the creature as her weapon left a deep bloody gash across it’s back. The monster coiled itself into a ball ready to attack the next pony. Steel banged his halberd against his armor trying to signal Valkyrie to break of the attack. She quickly flew back into formation as they raced away from the monster.
Already ahead of them were the unicorns and the new earth pony as one of them started to slow down as he looked behind. As soon as the trees started crashing down behind them it gave them enough panic fueled strength to pick up the pace. The bloodthirsty howl told Steel all that he needed to know as he didn’t bother looking behind.
They raced forward only for them to stop at a ravine. Gagged rocks littered the ground below as the rapid torrents of water smashed against the rocks. It was too far for a pony to jump… but not enough to fly over.
“Valkyrie! Grab Remedy!” Steel shouted “I’ll get the earth pony!”
Lockheart took a few couple of steps back before he took a running start and jumped off the edge. His wings snapped open as they flapped awkwardly struggling to keep him afloat to the other side. Valkyrie grabbed Remedy and took flight as Remedy used her magic to help lessen the load. Steel took a deep breath and grabbed the earth pony who hung onto him for dear life as he took flight across the ravine. The monster behind them kept tearing through the forest howling in rage as Steel struggled to fly faster.
He hit the ground on the other side as they both went rolling across the group. Valkyrie landed a little bit better than they did, but still crashed in the end as Lockheart struggled to pull himself up. Steel raced over to pull him up as he saw the serpent staring at them. It’s claws gripping the side of the ravine as it stared at them with bloodshot eyes.
“No….” Steel spoke out loud as hints of fear and doubt filled his voice “Don’t you dare.”
The serpent backed up just like Lockheart had done. Steel pulled Lockheart up as they both moved away from the edge as the serpent leapt forward at them. The long body stretched across the ravine as it was already half way across before it’s hind legs left the ground. The wings of the monster spread out it tried to take flight only to flap uselessly. Lockheart and Remedy immediately opened fire shooting magical blasts at it’s body and wings as it howled in rage before falling out of view. Steel took to the air and looked at the side of the Ravine along with Valkyrie making sure it wasn’t climbing back up.
Instead it kept falling down ripping chunks of stone with its descent before crashing against the rocks in the river and being swept away with the current. Steel sighed in relief as he landed back on the ground and collapsed. His heart was racing as he wished to never set hoof in the Everfree forest again.
The earth pony sighed out loud “Why did it have to be snakes?”
Steel glanced at the earth pony “You’re afraid of them?”
The earth pony chuckled “Not really… just felt like the right thing to say!”
This got a groan from Lockheart and Valkyrie as everypony tried to rest. Steel just examined the earth pony trying to get an idea of who he was. Light tan coat with dark brown hair tied in a long ponytail that hung off his shoulder as a long cutlass was resting in his tail. He was also had a cutie mark of one of those white opera masks… expect grinning. Not the traditional smile, but more like snickering with teeth and a small hoof over part of the mouth.
The earth pony pushed himself up “Name’s Maxwell or Max for short! What about you…” He paused staring at them in confusion. “Uh… what’s?”
“There with us.” Lockheart replied to the unspoken question.
More than that Lockheart seemed to flinch when he hear Maxwell’s name. Maxwell didn’t seem to notice it as he focus on the two ponies with cutie marks.
Maxwell shook his head “I mean you do realize…”
“They are not objects!” Valkyrie snapped back “Their living breathing people! Unlike the bastards who started abducting friends!”
Steel Halbred and Remedy Cross stared at the earth pony in question. Neither of them fully understood what was going on… but being referred to as objects? That didn’t settle well with them. It really didn’t settle well when Maxwell didn’t seem to respond.
******
Maxwell
Just great. I ticked off the only two humans around and I’ve got two NPCs staring at me like I’m a criminal. Just take a deep breath and try to figure everything out. Maybe their bodyguards or one of those ‘save my family’ quest NPCs used to help fill up the DPS line up?
I backed up “Whoa… there for a moment. By friends do you mean?”
The one called Lockheart nodded “Two idiots from this forest took our friend. These two” he pointed at the NPCs “came to help us… you?”
I smiled… well tried to smile as I glanced at the NPCs “Uh… is it safe to… you know talk?”
The NPC seemed annoyed as he glared at me “I’m part of the Royal Guard. If anything I should be concerned about you considering the two criminals we are chasing after attacked the castle!”
Oh freaking great! I just pissed of one of Celestia’s royal guard! He might rank high enough for a personality… or something close enough to cause trouble. Either way he’s either alive… or high enough level to kick my ass.
I quickly put my hooves up in the air shaking them “Wo! Wo! Wo! Hold up a sec! You mean two of them just kidnapped someone from Celestia? Like raise the sun or…”
“Smite if angry and having an angry physical god would be a bad thing for us all.” Lockheart calmly replied “So what do you know?”
Shit. Pegasus looks like he wants to rip me a new one. The one called Valkyrie is angry as she’s marching up a storm. Why did I have to get stuck with an Earth Pony build instead of a unicorn or pegasi build? At least then I could run away!
I took a deep breath and tried to play it off “Not much. Lost in forest. Got together in a group and grabbed a train ride. Half way through I convinced everyone to jump and what do you know? The freaking train is a fake. All tracks and no refuel points as it stopped right away.”
The pegasi and unicorn stared at me in confusion. Alright… trains don’t exist so jumping ship was a good idea! Nice to know I was right all along!
I focused back on the two humans in front of me getting ready for the hard part “Half of us split up. They went right as we went left. When we got back together a few days later we brain stormed. My side found out there’s something fishy as none of our facts added up and the left wing group formed a party doing Min-Max to cover each other’s bases.”
The unicorn NPC shook her head “Do any of you understand what he’s saying?”
Valkyrie seemed bothered, but not that surprised at what I was saying. Lockheart either didn’t care or already knew. Funny… most tend to have a hard time believe their version of the tale might be wrong. Of course considering everyone had a slightly different “vision” or “intro” than everyone else… it’s not that hard to believe.
Did they have the train as their intro into Canterlot or was it something else?
I prepared myself for the upcoming fallout as I continued my tale of failure “They also had a different plan. Mine was… ‘Hey. There’s a castle. Maybe find the ruler and ask for help!’ I just figured a goddess who raised the sun might be able to help us out get back home.”
And here it comes “But instead Duran talked about the Elements of Harmony. Apparently a fix all McGiffin. Since the Mane Six were supposed to be able to use them… he started recruiting.”
The Pegasi twitched as he grew angry “You mean foalnapping ponies.”
Foalnapping? I always thought the term was fillynapping… or does that apply to adults or gender… Focus on surviving this encounter! Terms latter! Survival now!
I nodded “I mean… it didn’t seem bad at first. The first “Applejack” was kind of a fun guy. Great at card games and didn’t have much at home. Bumping him up to mystic hero seemed like an easy win.”
“Then the mind control came into play?” The unicorn asked out loud in a neutral voice that somehow carried anger like an enraged anime killer/girl.
I couldn’t help but shiver just thinking about it “More like freaky Twilight Zone kind of stuff, but yah. Apparently Poker Ace wasn’t “honest enough” and the other look alike ponies… weren’t right. So one night Poker Ace is playing cards. Next day he’s staring into the distance like a zombie with drool running out of his mouth.”
I flinched closing my eyes and opened them just a peek. Valkyrie just continued to walk back and forth like a lion ready to pounce. The Pegasus seemed outright disgusted… or disturbed. The Unicorn didn’t seem surprised, but she did look annoyed. Still none of them blamed me which was a good thing.
I couldn’t help but try to avoid their gaze as I continued “Duran called it an accident. He said Poker Ace was stealing… We took his word.”
We were human. They weren’t. This wasn’t real in a sense… and none of us would think twice about it if we got home. Is it any wonder that things got screwed up so quickly? I felt a small taste of bile in my throat… Was it guilt? It didn’t matter as what was done was done.
Yet I couldn’t help but hang my head in shame “Us vs them and all that BS. Then… Emerald Smith was taken out. Something about not being the right shape… or that he was a guy. Same drool. Same eyes. Emerald Smith ended up just like Poker Ace. So then one of us tried to leave that night. Duran caught her. Duran brain scrubbed her and then woke us all up shouting for joy… He started calling Rebecca… Fluttershy… The strong girl we all knew and love ready to pick a fight and laugh about it later… was gone. What stood in her place was a glossy eyed impression of Fluttershy…”
The unicorn nodded as if it was nothing “He couldn’t find the ponies he was looking for and started making them.”
“That just it!” I couldn’t help but snap back “He started making them! Apparently his mind mumbo jumbo didn’t work all too well on Equestrian ponies. So he moved on to us. Used his freaky mind puppets to guard the camp and started grabbing ponies to add to his army. He took anyone who could look like The Mane Six and started screwing with their heads!”
The NPCs didn’t seem to understand… why should they? Valkyrie looked guilty, but I recognized that look. She was more outraged that Duran moved onto humans instead of sticking to the NPCs. Lockheart… he just kept staring at me. Shouldn’t he be outraged or something? I’m talking about human lives and he doesn’t even seemed to give a fuck!
Lockheart glanced at my side “What about you? What’s your story?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle nervously. Make or break time “Look I’m one of you. I’m…”
Lockheart glared at me in anger… His ‘I don’t give a fuck' look suddenly snapped into vengeful wrath as he shouted “I don’t give a freaking dam about that! This Duran idiot took one of my friends! Tell me where he is!”
“You can’t be serious!” I shouted back.
This is grab the royal guard or send Princess Celestia to fix the mess! You got NPC help so why don’t you fucking use it! We don’t need to risk anyone else falling into Duran’s special brand of insanity!
Valkyrie glared at me in hatred as she shouted “Finish the story! What do we have to look out for!”
I took one last glance at all of them in fear. This wasn’t a normal group. I had a small Indiana hat and a cutlass because I lost my whip. Valkyrie had real armor and weapons. The Pegasus was a higher level than me as… screw it. They have the team build up on tank, dps, ranged dps, and healer. Four vs one really won’t end well for me.
I sighed and hopped for the best “We found the freaking castle. He set up shop trying to find the Elements. Turns out it’s a lot harder than you would think… or I wasn’t the only one planning a break for it.” His tail flickered about on the ground “When he went to grab sacrifice number three I told him I had enough. Forgot the crazy plan! Forgot the madness! Three days and not a single piece found? Obviously whatever magic kept the place in check thought we were evil and kept the freaking elements away from him.”
Valkyrie stared at me in confusion along with the two NPCs. The NPCs trying to figure out what I was talking about. The human was trying to figure out how a group of people couldn’t find a simple object after spending a few days in a castle and the NPCs trying to figure out how we managed to fall so far.
Too bad the castle is a lot bigger in real life and lacked the easy path the TV show had… Then again most of us were more nervous about Duran turning us into mind puppets than trying to focus on finding a bunch of rocks. It certainly doesn’t help the place was built as part funhouse or something.
Lockheart kept staring at my side as I frowned knowing the next question “I told everyone I’m leaving. Others followed suit… and then the sick freak attacked. Tried to turn me into a puppet soldiers right in front of everyone… and it didn’t work. I shook it off somehow. Shouted for him to… you know… and then we broke for it. Fought our way out.”
Valkyrie hadn’t noticed. The other two ponies didn’t seem to notice the problem… I took a deep breath getting ready for the real reason why I’m alone now… The real problem that I was left… behind.
I glanced at the cutie mark on my side “Then outside we were lost. No idea how to get back home… or to civilization… and then someone pointed out I got my butt marked.” He chuckled bitterly “They… didn’t exactly trust me afterwards. I resisted freako’s mind screw and… I wasn’t… part of the group anymore.”
I prepared myself for the worst “They went one way near where they thought a town was… and I… went the other way… as Duran is still pissed off I got everyone out of there. Kept sending a few of his mind puppets into the woods to finish the job. Last one woke up the… whatever that thing was.”
I waited for a few seconds as each one dragged on. Each second making the uncertainty even worse as the seconds kept ticking away like some Chinese water torture device. Humans are social creatures. Ponies… even more so. Being alone wears down on a person… and while I’ve spent a few camping trips alone… this feels worse. SO, So, so… much worse. Like last soul on earth worst as I don’t even give a dam who they were before the event that screwed us all over just as long as I won’t be left alone any longer.
“Well?” I couldn’t help but ask.
Oh please oh god please don't have them leave me alone!
Lockheart glanced back at me “We’re still going. If you want to join go right up ahead.”
I blinked “Just like that? I mean… I’m marked.”
The pegasi shrugged “You hate this… Duran villain and you didn’t help him out in his evil plan. If you want to get in line to hit him then we won’t stop you.”
Lockheart just glanced off into the forest staring at something “So you have a cutie mark. Stardust also has one. Better question is how many memories do you still have on you?”
My jaw dropped as I shook my head “What? I don’t understand… why would I be losing more memories?”
Valkyrie looked depressed as she slowly replied “Something attacked Canterlot. Tried stealing a statue… caused a few problems. We think it’s behind the forest incident.”
My menu popped up as I opened up the message. I stared at it in disbelief… I couldn’t believe it…. I read it again just to be sure.
The skill tree or point system in the menu. The more points you put into it… the more memories you lose.
Grant it I never put any points into it. I was more concerned on finding a way out of Equestria than playing games. Heck I was more focused on running away from Duran when he went mind wipe crazy than thinking the earth pony build had some sort of anti-mind magic skill… I didn’t even look at it in the forest because I was too busy running in fear or trying to find someone else.
I opened up my menu… the skill tree was resting there. The fact I could lose more memories sent shivers down my back. I glanced back at the letter trying to figure out what just happened.
The smoke monster was after Discord. Will explain more in private.
“Are you alright?” The unicorn asked out loud
I tried to smile back as I replied “Just… a little overwhelmed. Sure a lost a few memories… but I didn’t think I could possibly lose more memories.”
The Pegasi looked away from me as the fear on his face was obvious. The very thought of losing more of one’s memory was frightening. Was Duran’s little insanity spree made because he dumped more points into his build? Heck why didn’t anyone else say anything or did they all just assume everyone else knew?
I took a deep breath and tried to push it out of my mind and said “Just relax. Right now we’re off to slay the wizard. The evil wizard of magic. We dash we slay we find we play and Celestia will thank us in the end. We’re off to slay the wizard and save every soul we know.”
Lockheart groan “Rule number one. No singing.” He mumbled “I already get enough of that back at Canterlot.”
What wait? I stared at the others “Seriously? You actually just burst into song?”
Valkyrie shrugged “I mostly run into humming or drill tunes.”
The Pegasus nodded “It isn’t that unusual in pony towns.”
“It’s a bloody nuisance in the labs.” The unicorn muttered.
I stared at the unicorn “Wait… You’re a pony who doesn’t like singing?”
She stared at me like if I was an idiot “Singing should be done in moderation. You wouldn’t find a kitten cute if it kept jumping on you back every ten seconds with it’s claws out.”
Lockheart chuckled “She’s also the one teaching me Necromancy.”
I tripped over a branch as my brain tried to reboot. Necromancy? Isn’t that a big no no? Like there’s no freaking way a land full of colorful ponies has Death Magic as a normal means of magic?
The unicorn glared at me “Is it that unnatural! The only difference is that in the end I’m using magic instead of scalpels and drugs to remove dead flesh, mend muscle, and fix your broken body!” She huffed in annoyance “I was hoping at least more of you would be a lot more open minded.”
She simply walked off and joined the front of the group with Lockheart as I just got on her bad side. Just great… I ticked off the team medic and she’s a budding necromancer to boot! Suddenly an alicorn player doesn’t seem that strange anymore. He must have tried hacking his account or something to keep running into all these glitches.
Valkyrie simply whispered “It’s not a game. This is real life.”
I simply nodded. Of course it was real. We could die… It’s more like that anime… die in the game. Die in real life. That’s all. No way this is all… really real. Just deadly real. We just have to find the end game event that sends us all home! That crazy guy’s intro couldn’t be right… it had to be wrong…
Earth couldn’t be gone. We can’t be the last humans left in existence. He just got some crazy dooms day script. No fucking am I going to play this game and try to live the rest of my life as a freaking pony!
I got back up and followed the others. Find Duran. Kick his ass. Grab the elements and find a way home. Then just simply post an ad in the papers and find who can actually use the dam things to send us back home!
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I would think that none of the intros were true. If everyone has a different one then they would be all wrong except one. And that's if even one is true. With no way to tell which is true I would work under the assumption that they were all false.
If the intros are all different then what are the matching patterns? After all if everyone had been placed there for a purpose then wouldn't there be matching details or clues leading to the right answer?
Kind of like those puzzles in games like fallout 4 secret railroad password found by following the red line and keeping track of the letters found on the road. There all wrong, but each tale holds a nugget of truth... or that's what I think at least.
Also... Maxwell? Is that a pun or his real name?
I'm with Backupo. I think the substance of the intros are all erroneous, but they all seem to hold some kernel or portion of the true situation they are in.
Maxwell's reaction to the fact that the game they were thrust into isn't just a game was interesting though. As well his story. More concerning is Duran... Particularly for Valkyrie. The skill point dump memory loss doesn't seem to have the check and balance of a full replacement set of pony memories like Stardust's issue does. It really might be behind his sudden madness.
This is a surprisingly good story at first I tough it as maybe a little childish to put an RPG element to the characters but my opinion on that had quickly change on that when I saw that each of the characters situation was different like the reason they got involved in the situation how their mind have been altered in one way or an other. Love Lock is interesting as he has come to Equestria being told that he is a pawn of Discord and that hes seem to actually believe that he can't do anything good for any one Equestria and that he seem to also think that just because Discord labeled him a bad guy and that he is in a body of a notorious evil creature in the show, he expect every dogooders to be out to get him. Sure, having a cynical view his fellow man or pony, and he is somewhat self-centered in his priorities he seem to be predisposed to expect the worst of every one, and ignores the good of the people around him. Discord's offer is probably a trap and playing on anyones fear of their mortality is a very hard thing to ignore. I would expect that he will enjoys more seeing Love Lock suffering in his Impossible dilemma and the actual possibility of becoming free.
I lake the idea that the lost humans turn pony in Equestria are in part the antagonists of the story at the moment is actually great and unexpected as well as adding an other layer to the trop of that kin. I know that this idea has been in other similar stories like A Hiss in the Dark by Knight Breeze but this has its on flavor to it. In this case none of them where forced to do those evil actions they choses to do these by their own free will and were not coheres to do this other then them among selves, which show to the characters and readers the dangerous trap that they might easily fall into if they lose theirs morals in their fear of never going back home.
As for the question about contradictions in the stories of other 'players' reasons that they where told that they got their I would immediately assume that they are all false including my own. I would assume that these are all made to misled everyone and to give each of them an some form of self-impotence to each their being their and blind them of the actual situation that they are in and to make them feel that all their action are legitimize by a greater power. Also, the discrepancies in the stories are probably meant to keep everyone confused and off balance so that they are always second guessing their situation and make them more prone to panic. In actuality I would believe that that he humans turn pony are meant to be nothing more than a distraction for Celestia and the Equestrian armed forces of what is actually going around. For all the energy spent to bring the humans in Equestria change them and give them more power than an average pony would normally have, than what ever is brewing in the shadows must be really bad.
Maxwell... You should die. So the usurper may live. You do not realise how things are right now you refuse to understand.
6707441 hehe i seem to find you evrey where mix-up i guess both of us have great taste
6716510 ho!? I am curious to know why you say that?
I mostly do art work for other on the site and I comment as often as I can on stories that I like.
So I please explaine what you mean I want to know
6704744 True. Of course, all lies have to have some elements of truth in them. Otherwise, no one could believe any of them.
The problem is, even distilling enough versions down to try finding the common thread DOESN'T mean that one or more of the common threads, themselves, might be lies as well--all the liar (Discord) telling them to you has to do is be consistent.
Even if it was a means to finding an important clue, they have to have time to collect all the different versions then distill them to look for the hidden messages--at the moment, they're not getting much leisure time to do that.
One glaring problem with the grammar has been popping up in this and the last chapter: There/Their/They're -- almost every usage has been incorrect.
There relates to location (think "where" they go together) as well as condition. "There is a problem. It's over there." are proper usages of this word.
Their is the possessive for "them". "It belongs to them, therefore, it is theirs. It's their stuff."
They're is the contraction of "they are".
They're going to get their stuff from over there. <--If you switch the words around in that sentence, nothing you try will make any sense.
Speaking of which--there's also a couple places where since/sense/scents were also used incorrectly.
I'm not a grammarnazi by any stretch, but I thought you need to be aware of this.
I would think that they would believe that something especially wacky is going on and try to find some reliable information and someone who could provide it. Failing that, finding someone who can point them in the right direction. Unfortunately, from what I have seen so far, they don't seem too keen on sharing experiences with each other.
Eeee I found TONS of grammar mistakes. Only thing is, there's just so many that it'll take me forever to identify them all!
Hrmm i want to like this story it has a lot of potential but it seems very rushed as story goes and a bit fragmented. I just start to like a character and whoosh off to somewhere else and do other things.
cooperate (co-operate)
Were. Or Where you were
Where with us? There with us!
Well, I know that the first thing I would think in a situation like this is that it would be a dream. More than an hour passes and I don't wake up again? I'm probably in a coma. Do I feel pain when they hurt me? Wow, that's a very realistic dream. The point is that I would deny reality no matter what because, let's be honest, it's crazy.
And don't even get me started on what would happen if I couldn't deny reality. I know it wouldn't bring me anything good because I already had a relapse due to several strokes of bad luck.
Good chapter.