2017)

Warning... this prologue contains large amounts of randomness and other crazy actions. You may skip to the main chapter if you want or read this to understand a few points.

******

I took a look over my old desktop and started it up. Apparently they finally made a licensed MLP game that actually looks decent, given the previews online, and… I figured I would give it a shot! It was either a cheap attempt to squeeze out more money from the fanbase or it might actually be a good game that gives the fans (more commonly known as Bronies) something fun to play with.

I looked over my gaming equipment just to make sure everything was there.

Headset? Check!

Mouse? Check!

Keyboard working? No? Replaced old one with new one? Check!

Time till I have to go to work at my lousy job? Far enough away for some gaming time!

Game downloaded? Still downloading.

Check to see if there any bills that I need to pay or groceries I need to pick up before I lose myself in this game? Meh… I’ll be alright for now.

Manual? Check! Bored reading while waiting for the game? Sigh… Check.

I opened up a small colorful pamphlet. I was surprised they even put one out with the game; most of the time it's just ads, since this kind of game always forces you to run through the tutorial anyways. Most of the time, the manual is just there so you can type down that one code to prove you didn’t steal the game.

For such a colorful game about ponies… the manual disappointingly doesn't have a lot of illustrations.

Welcome to the magical land of Equestria! A land inhabited by multi colored ponies and a host of other magical creatures. Not to step on any toes (or “hooves” in this case), the game is set about two hundred years in the future of Equestria, from the setting of the popular television show! The 'Mane Six' have passed away, leaving a new land for the players to explore and possibly form their own 'Mane Six' so to speak. Some of whom may be lucky enough to encompass one of the individual six elements of Harmony that they represent; that are as followed: Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity, Laughter and, last but not least, Magic.

I groaned at the joke. I was willing to bet that I would see half a dozen copies of the Mane Six, the Princesses, and all the fan favorite ponies from Ponyville. As for the comment about the Elements of Harmony… and I’m willing to bet ten to one that the ‘Elements of Harmony’ are collector items or an event quest pickup.

But all is not what it seems. Darkness lurks back into peaceful lands. Fear is growing as all of the princesses have suddenly disappeared leaving the ponies without their guidance.

Translation. Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadance and Princess Twilight (aka the one that normally saves Equestria) have gone missing including any other pony princesses, with horn and wings, we may add for a future attempt at selling more merchandise.

The kingdom is slowly falling into chaos and it is up to YOU (and the other players) to restore Harmony and save the day!

Right up until the next expansion where “insert evil” unleashes their villainy for the all mighty low price of your entire wallet! Shipping and taxes not included of course.

With a rich and versatile player driven market and a variety of races, this latest entry into the MMO genre will see how far you will go in the wonderful land of Equestria! So, sit back and relax with a nice glass of chocolate milk to settle down those nervous jitters, before you start your new adventure...

For some reason a shiver went up my spine when I read that passage… I probably just had the fan turned up too high. I turned down the fan and tried to ignore the bad joke meant to pander to fans as I continued reading on.

Races available are <Unicorn>, <Earth Pony>, <Pegasus>, <Diamond Dog>, <Griffin>, <Hippogriff>. The Deluxe Edition provides access to the <Crystal Pony> race. Upgrade today!

I couldn’t help but reply/snark back outloud, “Future expansions will offer owl, baby dragon, and for another chunk of your wallet the 'exclusive Alicorn skin' for your character. Skills and Prince’s or Princess's title not included.”

How will you save Equestria?

Well, at least my game finally loaded.

The screen flashed. It was showing a small cartoon version of Pinkie Pie hopping up and down on the loading bar, only for the bar to snap under her jump when it finished. The Pinky Pie cartoon giggled as she landed on the “Click Start To Go” icon.

After one click, the screen displayed all the various races walking about Ponyville with the same cartoonish style the show was known for. I rolled my mouse over the “Create A Character” icon and clicked on it only for nothing to happen. A few more clicks later, still nothing happened, forcing me to check if the mouse was working.

I frowned as I checked to make sure my mouse was functioning properly… and then I sighed just realizing that the servers must have been flooded with hundreds of thousands of brony fans and players were already logging on just as I was, ready to make their own characters. I just tapped the mouse again as I waited for the lag to die down long enough for me to at least make my own character.

To my surprise, a cartoonish griffon claw grabbed the mouse icon as a Cheshire grin appeared on screen. Then, a very familiar draconequus appeared in the middle of the scene, in all his usual chauvinistic and chaotic glory, Discord.

The self-proclaimed Lord of Chaos, or Trickster god, was floating around with his long serpentine undulating like a flying asian dragon, held aloft by his two mismatched wings on his back. His horse like head was sporting his patented bushy eyebrows and a goat’s beards, along with a gazelle and deer antler. His red eyed pupils with a mischievous glint while staring at me, and his singular fang protruding out of his self satisfied grin.

Discord had a ominous smile to him as he was lying on the “Create A Character” icon; using the mouse icon to pick his teeths no less.

Instead of waiting while this weird loading screen took it’s sweet time, I moved my mouse to pull something up to mess with… only for the mouse icon to not move at all. I tried dragging the mouse icon out of the window as I thought it was just being hidden by the loading screen. When that didn’t work I tried wildly moving the mouse around trying to make it appear outside the loading screen… and nothing changed.

Did the game glitch or something? Was I going to have to manually turn the computer off and turn it back on to make it work?

“Hey you there?” The icon of Discord on the loading screen spoke out loud in a similar manner like Q from Star Trek. “Isn’t this all terribly drab? You spent all that money for a copy of Equestria to play out all your little “fantasies” in, yet we both know nothing of the sort is going to happen.”

I blinked at the… rather odd intro. I mean, they seriously made him say that? I can understand pandering to the fans… but wouldn’t this hurt sales?

“Sales, wales. Does it really matter in the end, as long as you've have a good laugh?” Discord chuckled, taking up more of the screen. “Besides! Isn’t the real question not what you think you would do, but what you would end up doing?”

I shivered as the creepiness factor of the intro just went up as that oddly precise comment… it was probably an guess or a prank to mess with the more skeptic customers who bought this game. I pulled out my mobile device and decided to check the internet for any comments on the very weird intro they had for this game.

“Weird? Personally I prefer Eccentric.” Discord laughed back at me. It's as almost as if he was reading my mind which was impossible. “And to answer your latest non-question: Yes! Yes, I am; but that doesn’t matter right now. You see, me and little Princess Sparkles took a bet over our latest game. I was to find some new pieces and she was to set up the board, but... It's all so boring: watching clumps of wood stomp about with all those pesky rules interfering with the fun parts of the game!”

With a snap of his fingers a small image of a chess board filled up the screen. On the right was a white chess piece modeled to depict the ivory alicorn Princess Celestia sitting upon her golden throne… and on the left was a black chess piece modeled after Discord’s villain throne as the cartoon's version of him sat in it smirking as he looked over the chessboard. The odd part was that neither side had any pawns, or any of the other assorted chess pieces a chess game was supposed to have.

Suddenly dozens of regular chess pawns appeared on screen with each second, each one flying towards the center of the chess board in every possible color except black and white. They smashed into each other with convincing physicality, creating a central pawn pile that grew until the board spontaneously broke in half, bursting into flame.

Discord walked off of his throne. “So I thought to make it a little more interesting! The strongest pieces of each side would have no control over their own pieces. All the power, and yet…” He moved to another square as all the pieces changed again “Only able to make the smallest of moves, while everyone else gets to make bigger moves! And you, my dear boy...”

He grinned, then disappeared with a puff of smoke. “...Get to see which one of us is right.” Discord voice now echoed behind my chair. I stared at the computer screen, as I saw Discord's reflection appear right behind me before he shoved me forward into the computer.

[c]******[/c]

I closed my eyes and tried to take deep, calm breaths. My head stung a little; I probably had fallen backwards from my chair and banged my head up. I took another deep breath as I tried to let the pain subside, before checking to see if I was late for work.

I noticed something odd. The ceiling to the house was gone as it was replaced by clear blue skies, and I was flat on the ground. The chair, desk, and computer that should have been in front of me had suddenly disappeared… including the walls to the room.

Now that I was left out in the open with no clue how I got here, a nagging sense of something wrong filled my every thought, as I muttered to myself in fear “Oh dear god I’ve just been kidnapped.”

“What are you doing slowpoke?” a raspy voice shouted above me. “Come on! Get to flapping for your flight training!”

“What!” I screamed, looking up.

Rainbow Dash was flying above me… I mean she wasn’t on a computer screen or in the standard MLP cartoony format; I saw a large real life flying pony flapping its wings above me!

The loud mouth competitive cyan pegasus with a rainbow colored mane was looking down at me. One of the main characters of the My Little Pony Magic is Friendship tv show was looking down at me!

She slammed her hoof on my head, making it ache even more as she shouted in my face like a drill sergeant, “Just flap your wings and follow me, will you!”

I groaned as I felt something strange across my back… I turned my head to see that I was now sporting two large black pegasus wings on my sides that started to move waking up the limbs as I felt them stir to life on their own. A green bang of hair fell across my face as I tried to push it away with my hands… only to see a pair of hooves. As soon as I saw them, I realized I couldn’t even feel my fingers; they had now been replaced with large stumps! I had been turned into a freaking pony!

So then, just like any sane and rational person would do in this insane situation, I screamed my head off and started scooting backwards in complete panic! I mean, one moment I was sitting in front of a computer screen, and the next minute I had been turned into a goddamned furry after bumping my head!

“What the fuck is happening!” I screamed out loud

“Oh come on now.” Discord’s voice rang out from behind me, “Just take a leap, or a fall if you like!”

Without warning, Discord kicked me, with is right cloven hind hoof, in the butt like a cartoon character! His kick sent me flying head-over-heels, past the edge of the cloud that I had apparently been standing on, and I started my fall with an uncontrolled tumble as the wind whipped across my face. When I was facing upwards, I could see clouds with happy smiling faces filling the sky.

For a brief moment, I thought I would be safe as I tried to think of toon logic, or how Rainbow Dash always crashed into the ground and always managed to walk away without so much as a limp. I slowly whirled in the air, at least until my face was looking at the ground below me. On the surface, to my horror I could see a large pit of over-sized Mario-themed spikes covering every inch of the ground that I was rushing towards my doom. I kept screaming my lungs out as I felt the rushing wind against my face while I trying to figure out how to move these stupid wings!

Move damn you! Move! Just think of them as back arms and flap! Flap damn you! Flap!

“Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!” I frantically screamed as my wings finally snapped open, transforming my uncontrolled tumble into an uncontrolled glide, aimed directly down into the Spiky Pit of Death! “Fuck!”

I quickly pushed my arms and legs out as far as I could, slamming them into some nearby spikes just before I was impaled by one! I could feel my limbs straining from the pressure to keep me up; as my face came to a hair's length away from one of the pointed spike tips. I tried not to hyperventilate as I stared at the spike, but then a small stab of pain from my stomach revealed another spike immediately below me… and the small trickle of blood from the prick on my stomach.

Any desperate hopes of this being a dream quickly disappeared as I struggled to save myself. I tried flapping my wings and blowing down underneath me as if I was a cartoon character trying to slow his descent. I could hear Discord laughing uproariously, even as my wings slowly lifted me upwards into the sky. I continued my wobbly descent until I managed to land face first on one of the near by clouds as my wings gave out from exhaustion.

I felt my panicked gasps for air struggle to fill my lungs with air. Sweat covered my face as each panic filled wheezes only made the dread horror of my near death experience fill my body with dread as this definitely didn’t feel like a dream at all.

“Bravo!” Discord shouted from right beside me, making me nearly fall off the cloud again. “Judges?”

I looked in the direction that he was talking, to see three more Discords appeared behind a marked judges table, waving score signs as I frowned. A Two, A Four… and one was the letter Q.

Discord shook his head. “Tough crowd.”

“Fuck you Discord.” I muttered, trying to make sure I didn’t fall off the edge of the cloud to my doom once again.

Personally, I felt like screaming at someone or something, but I managed to rein myself in, seeing that I was either dealing with an almost-all-powerful god who could end my existence with a snap of His fingers… or this was a very vivid dream that I had no control over; I did not want to test out the ‘Die in a dream! Die in real life!’ theory right now!

Discord pretended to look shocked. “Language! We can have Manticores nearly tear apart ponies, have emotion vampires tear apart a kingdom, have a perfectly handsome gentleman turned to stone for a thousand years, and have inappropriately realistic debates about the psychological effects that it may or not may have caused... But swearing?!”

Two ponies in corporate uniforms appeared out of nowhere beside me on the cloud as they stared at me from behind their black sunglasses.

“That’s just going too far.” Discord mockingly replied as a pair of handcuffs appeared on my hooves. “Just use safer terms like Buck, Horse Apples, or my favorite: Curly Fries!”

A unicorn in robes also appeared, blinking in confusion until Discord snapped his fingers again, making the ponies all disappear… and the cloud… and my wings.

“FUCK!” I screamed out loud, before falling to my doom, again...

******

When I opened my eyes again, I saw that right in front of me was a lavender unicorn with a purple mane standing in front of a chalkboard with a teacher’s smile. It was none other than Twilight Sparkle (pre-alicorn ascension) from My Little Pony Magic is Friendship.

To quickly sum it up, Twilight Sparkle was the adorkable bookwork of the main characters. Smart, skilled in magic, and Princess Celestia’s personal student. And one of the wielders of the Elements of Harmony. To be more precise the Element of Magic/Friendship.

Looking around at my surroundings, as I realized that we were inside the old tree-library from the cartoon, reconfirming that this was before she was turned into an alicorn, or had the building burn down/vaporised and replaced with a crystal tree castle.

My back was sore, and I felt a new pain on my head. I groaned at seeing my hooves once again as I went to provide relief for this new pain on my forehead, but I realized that the nightmare had yet to end as I felt the unfamiliar presence of a unicorn horn.

I tried to get back up, and noticed the lack of wings on my side. Just freaking great. First I was a Pegasus; now I’m a Unicorn? Was Earth Pony up next, or am I going to get turned into every damned race the game had to offer?

Twilight smiled at me, oblivious to my pain as she spoke in a classical lecturing tone “Thank you for joining me in Magic 101. Now, please pull out your paper and quills as we get ready to take some notes.”

I glanced down to realize I was stuck in one of those cheap public school desks; the ones where the seat and the desk were all one welded piece of uncomfortable metal riveted with plasticized 'wood'. I found the aforementioned sheet of paper resting by my hooves, sitting under an ink jar with a white quill inserted through the top.

The lavender unicorn cheerfully replied “As we all know, unicorns are special in Equestria as our horns allow us to create great feats of magic.”

“Deep breaths.” I muttered to myself “Just go through the fucking tutorial and take the written test…”

At the same time, Twilight’s horn glowed as her magical aura levitated up a piece of chalk, then pressed it onto the chalkboard behind her as she spoke to me. “Now for this test, all you need to do is…”

The room flickered for a moment like a glitch in a program. The old Ponyville tree-library that I was in, had now been replaced with a large wrestling arena that had a steel cage over it with a large crowd of whooping and hollering pony spectators sat in their seats which were surrounded the cage. Twilight was now standing far above the arena, dressed in one of those sport announcer outfits. On the other side of the caged arena, a fully grown manticore was growling at me from behind a set of steel bars, clawing at the floor and ready to attack.

The piece of chalk Twilight was just using had now been turned into a microphone. She spoke in a sports announcer’s voice as she said, “Simply take the key and escape, before the manticore is released!”

The manticore growled in rage as I tried my best to scampered back to the far end of the cage as the thrice damned desk chair was still stuck to me. I fiddled with my hooves trying to free myself from the desk until a key suddenly shined brightly in front of me, only to slip through the bars and hang just outside of the caged arena to rest on a simple key rack. I stared at the key in horror as I didn’t have even a single idea of how I could physically pick up the key with my hooves, much less magic up a solution!

The manticore smashed against the bars, snarling rabidly while two business-suit unicorns enveloped the bars in their magic and started to free the terrible beast that would surely kill me! I wiggled my body out of the cursed desk chair as I stared at the keys that laid out of my reach.

“How am I supposed to get the key!?” I screamed out loud while trying to somehow slip through the steel bars that kept me trapped with a hungry monster!

Maybe the hoof trick would be easy! Like magnets or something? I stretched my arm out as far as I could, trying to just at least touch the key with my hoof; it was almost in my grasp. I still had no idea how I could open up the caged arena, but I didn’t want to be mauled to death by a mythical creature!

Twilight chuckled and looked at me as if I was joking. “Why, with magic, silly!”

If it wasn’t for the fact she was completely out of my reach, I would have tried to strangle her.

Discord appeared right beside me, wearing a white shirt with a towel over his shoulder, before promptly shoving a water bottle into my face. “Now I know he's bigger, stronger, faster, and a better fighter all around.”

He tried massaging my shoulders like some cheap Rocky knockoff movie as I turned around and shouted at him “You’ve got to be kidding me! There’s no way I can beat him!”

“But he has one thing you don’t have, boy!” Discord replied in mocking support. I watched him as I waited to hear how I could escape this disaster “Guts, and lots of them!” Pointing his lion’s paw on my belly for emphasis.

The manticore roared as I screamed in terror, “I’d rather they stay inside my body than on the floor!”

Discord laughed. “So maybe the network producers were a little angry and swapped the intro tutorials. Just remember: flap those back wings, and grab with your noggin!”

He laughed again, fading away like the Cheshire Cat before I could hit him. A bell rang out the start of the match, as the cage keeping the manticore back was now open, and the savage beast walked out of the cage and into the arena. He prowled across the padded floor, like a lion getting ready to lunge for the kill.

According to the first episode of MLP, all I had to do was find the splinter hurting the beast and pull it out to calm it down.

My brain, on the other hand, told me to run as if the Manticore was wearing a bib that said “Brony taste like chicken!” with fresh blood on it.

I bolted from the manticore's advance, and focused on the key as I tried Discord’s crazy advice; thinking of grabbing it somehow with my mind. The key flickered green for a moment before I was slammed against the cage bars by the manticore as the beast had me pinned to the wall with his paws as he slowly opened his mouth revealing dozens of sharp and pointy teeth.

“Fuck!” I screamed in pain, and instantly thought about knocking the manticore back.

As if answering my pleas of desperation, a burst of green magic erupted from my horn hitting the manticore right in the eye, making it roar in pain as it dropped me. I rolled out of the manticore's range, then shoved my horn against the floor while desperately focusing on trying to repeat the same trick on the floor of the arena. Finally, two bursts of green magic struck the floor, managing to blast open a hole through the arena platform just large enough for me to escape through.

The manticore roared in fury, the wild swiping of its claws forcing me to bolt away again to escape an immediate painful death. The manticore snorted in rage and clawed the ground like a bull, before coiling itself inwards in a cat-like fashion as if to charge me. I stared at the manticore, not daring to move, as I spotted my path to freedom resting just behind it.

Without much of a plan, I charged at the manticore like a battering ram, as he prepared to lunge at me, as I tried to counter back by lining up its face with my blunt unicorn horn . It was stupid, stupid idea that would probably kill me, but it was the only plan I had at the moment, as I focused on my horn.

Trying to summon all my strength, my horn glowed green for just a moment as I screamed, “Pew Pew Pew!”

Everybody always makes sound effects when shooting imaginary magic energy beams, so why not do it myself with real magic energy beams anyway? I’d rather look foolish and have it work, than not look foolish and be torn apart into mincemeat.

Thankfully, each shot fired off a new burst of green light, knocking the manticore back a little with each shot. This made the manticore hesitate at my charge, just enough to buy me the time to lunge down the hole and slide underneath the broken stage supports; a pair of claws shot through the bars and scraped against my back, as I completely left the arena behind.

I collapsed on the ground right outside the cage, panting in terror as I placed a hoof across my painfully beating chest. The nondescript crowd suddenly started booing me and throwing popcorn or empty soda bottles at me.

A yellow pegasus with a long pink wavy mane and tail flew down from the stand and into the caged arena as the manticore was sobbing like an overgrown baby, crying as he started sucking his thumb.

It took a few moments for me to recognize her as I stared at the Yellow Pegasus, otherwise known as Fluttershy, aka the Element of Harmony.

The yellow pegasus had an almost comically sized medical bag as she used a ton of bandages to wrap his ‘boo boo’ while muttering about what a horrible person I was to harm a defenseless animal.

The manticore even whined like an injured animal as he pointed a finger at me, as if I was the bad guy. I didn’t see anyone complaining when he threw me up against the wall and tried biting my head off!

I gritted my teeth as I felt a surge of anger flow through my body. I could just about picture what Discord’s next task would be: Apple bucking with Applejack while a Hydra tried to eat me? Trying to tame a dragon with Fluttershy? How about baking a cake with Pinkie Pie... With half the ingredients replaced with actual explosives!

Surely, there must be a few ‘wonderful’ ideas on how to make the rest of the main characters from MLP try to create unique and colorful death traps as they tried to kill me!

Out of thin air, Discord appeared right beside me and snapped his fingers, turning off all the lights and leaving us seemingly in an empty void alone on a giant white circle, as he berated me “You do realize the reason for a tutorial, right?” He queried his bushy eyebrow.

I snapped. I have had enough of these games, and have almost nearly died twice now!

“Why are you doing this to me! Why do you keep threatening my life!” I nearly shouted out loud as I could feel my own frustration growing with each passing second.

Discord huffed in indignation. “Sorry, but some people, or ponies in your case, would love spending this time with me.” He pointed his left griffin claw at himself as he grinned in some vain attempt to be ‘endearing’ to me or something along those lines.

“No, seriously!” I screamed out loud as I let my anger get the better of me, “First spikes! Then manticores! What’s next?! Hydras? Dragons!?”

“Zebras, oh my!” I heard the voice that I recognized as Pinkie Pie’s shouted from behind. Both of us briefly turned around, trying to find the notorious fourth wall breaking pink earth pony, only to find more dark nothingness.

Did we just hear or… or was she hiding somewhere? All I could see was the big black empty void surrounding us as the only source of light was the lighted circle on the ground.

“How...?” I started to ask, but shook my head as it was useless trying to figure it out.

Pinkie Pie, aka Element of Laughter, aka Loony Toon Logic pony, was the pony friendly equivalent of deadpool. You don’t ask how they do it or how they know. They just do.

Besides I focused on the real problem as I glared at Discord “No… why are you doing this to me?” I rasped in sieving resentment

Discord cleared his throat, as he then spoke in a more serious tone now “Because, it’s about to get a lot rougher. Do you know what the difference is between an individual, and a group?” He kept staring at me with his mischievous mismatched eyes, uncharacteristically attentive as he waited for a reply, all the while stroking his goats beard, and tapping his lizard's leg.

I rolled my eyes as I stated the obvious answer “One’s an intelligent being that you can reason with; a group is a mass of confusion and madness without a brain?”

He kept stared his red eyes at me waiting for me to continue.

I continued my ranting, much to my annoyance, “It’s the most common line out there. Individual their not that bad, but get a group and (insert group) tend to be a jerk. You get one person to make an educated guess. You get one group to shout at each other until the loudest voice drowns out the others pointing out everyone else’s flaws, but never offering any solutions.”

I groaned as I said out loud “Do you want any more examples or are you going to tell me the real reason why you brought me here!”

Discord chuckled, “Oh, Someone’s a pessimist, but perfect for the job!”

“I’m not a pessimist. I’m a realist.” I replied as I tried to defend myself “There’s a difference… and what job are you talking about?”

Once again, He snapped his fingers, except this time it was with his bushy end of his dragon’s tail. We were now in the middle of a movie theater… which was built with humans in mind as the seat didn’t agree with my new pony spine… and the seats in front of me nearly blocked my view of the screen, until a booster seat appeared underneath me.

I glanced around the empty theater room, trying to find any lurking dangers or anything else, as Discord sat in the chair next to mine, holding a large bucket of popcorn as a large soda sat resting in his drink holder. The silver screen counted down to 0 slowly as Discord sucked loudly on his large soda.

A voice with a familiar southern accent shouted from the theater seats “Apples! Get your fresh apples!”

I glared at Discord as he just shrugged “Well, I had to get her in all of this someway.”

The food vender heading for us was an orange pony, with a blond mane and a cowboy hat, that smiled at us. With to no great surprise, it turned out to be the one and only Applejack, the Element of Honesty, and family farmer of the Sweet Apple Acres.

I promptly ignored her, less to attract more harm on to me, as Twilight Sparkle appeared on the screen, only this time she was in her ascended alicorn form, complete with her princess-y outfit.

Twilight shook her head and spoke in a cheerful and enthusiastic speech “A group is a connection of friends united in friendship. Together they can conquer any trials that stands before them.”

My first reaction was to say ‘what a load of tripe’ as that was even cheesier than some of James T. Kirk’s lines from the original Star Trek series. Then, I realized who was sitting beside me, as Discord… the supposed ‘reformed’ Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony.

I started at the screen in confusion. It couldn’t be that simple… all of Discord’s antics had been because of… this?!

I blinked, then I tried rubbing my eyes with my hooves… which felt weird. Really, really weird. Yet the pieces of information clicked together logically, in some strange twisted way. This was all one big bet. No, more like a... 'game' between Twilight Sparkle the Princess of Friendship and Discord the Avatar of Chaos. Madness vs Friendship was clearly the theme… yet where did I fit in?

Discord smiled in self-satisfaction. “And here I thought this would take longer, but you've passed the test!”

He snapped his fingers again.

*****

When the blinding light cleared up, we were both now found ourselves in what looked liked Rarity’s boutique from the show. The room was filled with various fancy dresses and suits in display made by the very same fashion obsess pony. I was now standing on a platform as Rarity herself was right beside me, focused on taking measurements of my body as if I was just another client in her ‘quaint’ little shop.

Of course Rarity would be the last pony to be shown, as she was the Element of Generosity… and also the most greedy and materialistic of the group. She ran a store selling clothing to a race that rarely wore anything more than a hat or a scarf.

I looked away from the focused alabaster unicorn, as I was standing in front of a set of three mirrors. I stared at the mirrors in renewed confusion as I examined the new form Discord had seen fit to give me. I wasn’t back in my old human body, of course, but Discord hadn’t turned me into an earth pony as I was expecting, since he had already previously tried to kill me as a pegasus and a unicorn.

I wasn’t even one of the previous forms, as this was was much worse.

What I got instead was this: a matte black fur covering my entire body, two equally matte black Pegasus wings resting against my sides, ~~my hair~~… my mane was dark green with a short ~~hair~~mane-cut, emerald green eyes, a sharp jagged horn on my forehead, and... a mouth of sawed teeth? I clench my teeth into a toothy grin, seeing and feeling how the teeth mesh together into a comfortable seal; I guess I have "sharp teeth" more akin to Nightmare Moon then the standard set of teeth the ponies of MLP had.

I looked like an alicorn… to be more precise I looked like a villain version of an alicorn.

“No need to thank me.” Discord cheerfully replied in self adulation “I heard this style is all the rage these days!”

My eyes caught sight of something floating above my head… it was a title… like the ones you normally saw in MMORPGs as cosmetic faction rewards... What worried me was that the title resting above my head was <Usurper>, and it was written in on a black ground with white cursive letters.

I took a step back from the mirror, as my body spontaneously burst into green flames, instinctively flinching my eyes shut. Only, when I didn’t feel a horrible burning sensation, or any other source of intense agony, did I open them again, only to see a changeling in the mirror staring back at me.

That’s was just great, I was now one of those generic evil villains/monsters from the show, that were essentially emotional sucking vampires. Apparently, they can literally drained the love, joy, and happiness out of their victims in order to feed themselves.

I looked down at my hands in fear. I was still stuck with hooves, but they no longer had fur…they were covered with black chitin, and now sported a few sets of holes going through the inside of my legs. I looked back at the mirror in fear and saw that I stood taller than Rarity, as she was now also up on the modeling stand, standing right next to me for easy comparison while taking measurements of my new size.

I stared into the mirrors to spot what other changes existed. I kept my green and black color scheme. Instead of pupiless eyes, like those of the smaller changelings from MLP, I had similar pupils to Queen Chrysalis that were still green. I stared at the thin bug like wings that rested against my side, as I couldn’t help but wonder just how fragile they could be, or if they could even be healed if they were damaged… It was also rather strange how they felt somehow even stranger, than the feathery wings I had owned before.

I looked back up at Discord, who was grinning in sadistic joy. “Like I said before. We needed some pieces… and you, are now one of my pieces.”

I closed my eyes, trying to picture my old human body. As the same flash of green flames danced across my body, it revealed… the black and green Alicorn pony that I saw before. Discord simply shook one of his fingers in front of my face, making a “tisk tisk” sound with his voice.

I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm… tried being the keyword here! I mean, I couldn’t (easily) turn back into a human… and I was now kidnapped by a powerful… no, a crazy, and possibly insane, but very powerful magical creature who had turned me into a changeling without any consideration for my consent… just for a stupid bet.

“Now I know how Picard must have felt whenever he saw Q.” I muttered underneath my breath.
Still this wasn’t too bad… I mean, all I had to do was avoid getting into trouble, then simply just let the Mane Six sort it all out… right? I mean, how hard could it be?

Discord handed me the manual to the game, a conveniently misplaced claw pointing out how the words "two hundred years" was in bold. I shivered in genuine horror when I also saw that MMO and other players were also in bold.

It wasn’t just me that Discord had roped into his twisted little game. He had to have done it to a couple of other people… a lot of other people… and I wasn’t his only piece in this twisted game. Of course, I couldn’t take anything he said at face value… I mean, he never even told me the rules of the game… or he purposefully skipped on most of the major key points.

“I need a jacket.” I spoke out loud, trying to recover from what just happened. “One to cover my wings.”

‘And my dignity.’ I added in the back of my mind. I was not about to run about without any clothing on! MLP rules be damned I’m having clothing!

Discord shook his head as he taunted me “Trying to hide your charming looks, so you don’t have to break the hearts of every mare you meet?”

I shook my head; I was trying to ignore the pony in the mirror and the changeling hiding underneath that disguise. I’ll be the first to admit that I really didn’t know a lot about changelings, and one of those facts I was certain I didn't know anything about was just how exactly they made their disguises.

It would also be a safe bet to say that I've accidentally skipped the tutorial on how to do that trick, but considering the fact the tutorial was trying to kill me, I think it was perfectly understandable! So, I at least needed to have a jacket to hide my wings, until I figured out a more… permanent solution.

Besides, Discord had made the design for this new body… and I highly doubt I could fix the glaring problem with a simple snap of my fingers… if I had had any fingers left.

So I answered Discord’s question, “Hiding. I doubt I’m allowed to pick what I look like.”

Discord frowned like a child told he had to go to bed early as he whined. “Well, maybe if you hadn’t skipped the tutorial...”

“So how do I do it?” I quickly snapped back.

Discord rolled eye in exasperation and then snapped his fingers, summoning a large transparent screen displaying… what looked almost like an... MMO talent tree??? Reading the names underneath all the currently unlocked talent nodes, showed that Craft disguise was just two points away from my current position. It was just in my sight, but just out of my reach! I took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

It wasn’t that bad… I mean, it was that bad, but surely all I had to do was just a kill a few slimes, right? Then once I gained a few levels, I could grab the skill and then find a form that won’t get me burnt at the stake by crazed ponies, or worse, crazed bronies.

Rarity came back to the modeling stand with a new suit for me to wear. Should I be happy she was running MMO style shop considering she had a suit that could fit me right away… or be annoyed that it was a comfortable fit… that it was the equivalent of a mass produced jacket from a regular clothing store.

Of course, he could have had Rarity sew me a jacket, and pricking me constantly with a rather large sharp sewing needle instead.

Discord chuckled; while my new blue jacket did fit snugly over my wings, I now wore a red shirt underneath the jacket… yes, the meaning of the red shirt was not lost on me. The more important question now was: how would I survive this mess? I mean dying in the game wouldn’t kill you… would it? Most all MMO's had some sort of respawn option always available in game, and the ones that didn't usually had resurrection items or spells, right?

One of the mirrors flashed brightly for a moment before it dimmed to show me a scene: I was screaming at the top of my lungs in terror. The mirror version of me had been tied to a large wooden stake. Various ponies lacking cutie marks, chanted something eerie out of their mouths, as they tossed logs of wood around me. The ponies continued to chant their weird song, until one pony with a fire cutie mark gleefully tossed a can of gasoline over the logs. The wings underneath my coat press themselves more tightly on my sides, as I saw the pyro pony toss the torch underneath my doppelganger's feet.

The sight of seeing myself being emulated alive made me want to puke, but I manage to hold myself down… welI I held most of it down.

‘Does this ‘game’ have a respawn function?’ I asked myself in the back of my head ‘Do I want to see if this game has a respawn function?’

Okay maybe Discord was just messing with my head. I mean everyone wouldn’t automatically try their best to kill me on sight just because I was looked like your standard cartoon villain,right!? I mean, surely dozens of people torn away from their homes, with no idea how they got here, wouldn’t just lash out at the first oddity/‘thing that looked evil’ they see and…

Oh who am I kidding? I’ve seen/read plenty of moments in my life where people would do exactly that! People lash out in a blind panic when they are frightened, and looking like a villain from the cartoon show, akin to Nightmare Moon and/or Chrysalis, will certainly have them hang me on sight. Looking like an alicorn would just have everyone watch and judge my every movements, until the one moment where I screwed up... that would be the moment they would switch back to witch hunt mode.

I took another deep breath, and tried to calm down… because all I have to do, is just survive. I wouldn’t try to mess with anyone, or try some sort of evil uprising. I'll just try to hide in some secluded place until someone else fixes the problem.

Besides, how dangerous could a world full of ponies be?

I face palmed at the sheer stupidity of my question, as I already knew just the place Discord would almost certainly dump me in: The Everfree Forest, home to most of Equestria’s full-on weirdest, if not also deadliest, magical plants, animals, and monsters.

“Shit…” I muttered to myself

Discord snapped his fingers as I prepared for the worst…

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