• Member Since 1st May, 2013
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Knight Breeze

Just your average gaming geek/college student. I study computer science, play pathfinder, and write stories, and have a patreon!


Why can't anything go as planned? All I wanted was to go on a date with the girl of my dreams, finish college, and hopefully settle down with a family somewhere. However, due to an unlucky set of circumstances, I am instead thrust into a world of magic and intrigue, forced to do battle for the amusement of bored Demons and Gods.

On top of that, my patron deity is a lying, stingy jerk who's only goal seems to be my immediate discomfort and misery.

However, I can't just back out. If I do, I will never be able to return home. At least, I'll never be able to return home in one piece...

This story is inspired by (not copied from) the chessverse. It has absolutely no bearing on that universe, will not feature any of the unique characters from those stories, and will not involve it in any way. I just liked the idea of a story about the Gods playing with the lives of mortals, and wanted to take a crack at the idea.

Co-Author: The DoomOtter

Chapters (22)
Comments ( 587 )

I have a solution to your feelings of inadequacy towards this chapter.

Write the third and post it, then come back and re-do this one in a way you feel better about.

5677205 I really just threw it together so it would pass moderation. Thanks for the vote of confidence, though.

This is the start of something beautiful. I look forward to the rest.

Totally expected that. He should have listened carefully. She did say the 'the first form you ever pretended to be', not 'the first PC you made'.

5677206 I understand the desire to pass moderation. It's why I suggested going back to it. Your a good writer and I KNOW you wouldn't have done it at your best when simply going for acceptability.
NO-ONE does their best when actively going for acceptability.

Ha! And it was his first RP Character too! You really should have payed more attention. But weak? Stealth is wonderful if applied properly. And you're in a museum. Perfect place to abuse stealth powers. Become a hero deformed drago Chamelizard!

Huh, I thought the chess game of the gods died a long time ago.

5677470 It kinda did. I discovered it not long ago, and despite the fact that story I did read was complete garbage, the general premise was interesting enough for me to decide to take my own crack at it.

Just remember, however. I have only read one story from the chessverse, and I didn't even read that much of it. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure it wasn't one of the core stories.

That being said, if you try to ask me about anything from the chessverse, I'll probably nod, smile, and tell you I have no idea what you're talking about. This is my story, and has absolutely nothing to do with the others, other than sharing the same basic premise.

I think I speak for everyone when I ask, will there be an emu in this story?

I've read several chess game stories and never been happy with them but I'm sensing this one is gonna be good :)

5677621 just wondering if it had anything to do with any of the other chessverse stories. As I've stated before, this has nothing to do with those, so it won't have any references or anything like that.

5677625 It has nothing to do with the chessverse. An emu is just what your story needs.

5677641 You keep saying chessverse.

I keep reading cheeseverse.

This is adding to my enjoyment of yet another one of your stories.

"Someone who can do the greatest good if in the right place at the right time, or the wrong place at the wrong time."
“As for you being human, you'd be surprised what a single person can do when dropped in the right place at the wrong time.”

The right man in the wronng, p'lace... can make all the diff...erence... in the world. So, wake up, Misster Freeman. Wake up and... smell the ashes.

“I cannot say. I am the only one who will come when not called upon. I leave when my name is spoken, and most ask for my help without knowing that they have done so,” she said with a smile. This sounded familiar to me for some reason, though I couldn't quite place why.

Lady Luck, as described by Terry Pratchett.

5680237 GOD DAMN YOU!!! I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!

Although he says "aashes"

Well, I'm hooked!

More please!

When I was younger I used to imagine all kinds of different creatures, much like the protagonist here. I NEVER made one OP, I was very careful to balance them.

Wow...seems a certain someone read the Dresden Files in regards to the names have power phrase!!! But seriously, that was practically quoted in verbatim from one of the books in Dresden Files.

5681771 Wanna know the funny thing? I've never read the Dresden Files.

*Stares and then facepalms*
How could you have not read one of the greatest series out there?!?!?! Hell, there are several well-written and well-known MLP/Dresden Files crossovers on this site!!!

AMAZING chapter as always
keep up the good work

5681807 Just never had the time, or the opportunity, to read them I guess. The whole 'names have power' thing is actually a lot older than the Dresden Files, though, and has been used in a lot more stories than just that.

5681672 No worries here, the protagonist has clear limits, as well as inexperience working against him. He might have larped it up with a fake sword, but that is nothing like using the real thing.

The Lady doesn't go for overpowered, she goes for the underdog. There will be quite a few times where our protagonist meets up with someone who is more powerful than he is, and he will be forced to retreat.

5682068 And his form is ideal for a quick retreat! *In the Nanosuit's voice* "CLOAK ENGAGED"

5681830 Like in the Inheritance series! (Eragon)

If you know someone's true name (Not their birth name), then you have FULL control over that person.

5682114 Not necessarily. It is dependent on the particular mythos used, and sometimes saying the true name of someone gives them power over you. Read the TV tropes page on it for more info.

As to what I'm using here, that would be too big of a spoiler, so I'm not saying.

Did someone say Inheritance series!? I love that novels series :yay:
Still wish someone made fic about Eragon found Equestria and settle there with Saphira, the Elfs and the dragon eggs.

Very cool. Is the protagonist an unseen lizardfolk from pathfinder?

5688105 Nah, he's something of my own design.

5688105 However, he does look a lot like pathfinder lizardfolk, so you can imagine him as that for now.

5688174 Awesome. Unseen are the ones with camouflage, so I figured that plus the tongue of a giant frog. I like the concept of a stealth hero in Equestria.

5688189 The tongue is more akin to that of a chameleon, rather than a frog.

I always thought that dragon breath was not an expression...
Oh well, you can't just keep lying there. You know, you have places to go, things to do.

At that, I couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and with a wail that surprised the guards around me, I began to cry like a child.

Where did the guards come from?

5689115 He was sitting there for a really long time. To put it lightly, as soon as the danger passed, he began to spiral, and completely lost track of time or what was happening around him.

Makes sense. It just doesn't seem to convey it though.

This story really need more reader. Its been a while I have read story that based on Chessverse,

5689140 Yeah, but I can't, and won't, force people to read my stuff. I advertise it, sure, but they may read it if they want. I've posted blogs about it in a couple of different groups, but have had very little success so far in getting the message out.

It's good really. The spiral makes sense, it just doesn't convey that he was there long enough for the guards to show. Right now it's just him spiraling and suddenly scares guards that weren't there a second ago.

5689192 There, fixed it. Now, there is a clause that reads:

I lost track of time as questions about those I had killed and what I had done continually bombarded me, filling me with guilt, forcing me to second guess every decision I had made since my arrival.


I... I don't... it wasn't... I finally thought as tears came to my eyes.

Now just remove the word finally from the sentence to fix the time presence and include a little something in the final paragraph to indicate that the guards arrived during his monologue and Ur good.

5689220 There is something about their arrival. A little bit before that, there is a line that says:

No, please, I just wanted to save them, I thought, not even aware of the voices and shouting around me.

Ah dang. I keep reading that differently for some reason.

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