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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is the first time I have seen a railroad story in the featured box.
For all those who are just discovering this story:
Yes, there are people who speculate on the Equestrian railroad network, what kind of locomotives it uses, what kind of freight it hauls, and such like that.
Here comes Equestria Girls
Also, I like how Discord wanted to prove himself this bad, just to turn it all to a load of crap when he betrays them and joins Tirek (unless that doesn't happen in this fic).
why would they need to catch the next train? they have 1506 they could use or is she damaged?
6790490 this fic is set after season 3 but before equestria girls so before season 4 and tirek
6790522
I know that. But if this flows into Season 4, then it be a load of crap. Didn't you read the minuscule part of my comment?
6790544 i cant see that as im on my mobile right now
Ok, I'm running into a big problem with this story. I have no idea what the central plot and actual story is. That's not a good thing when you're over 26k words in. Is the focus supposed to be on Nathan? Nathan and the 1506? If it's the first, why have the 1506 and the scene at the beginning of this chapter at all? If it's the latter, why are we focusing on the extremely mundane (and overly done in fics) of measurements and general getting a base together in Ponyville? Why are we bringing in the altered plot with Sunset?
The final question: What is the point?
A slight rant here: I've actually asked the last question to an author about a section of a story and they responded that it didn't serve a point. If it has no point, why am I reading it? An author who does that is literally wasting my time and has no respect for my time. I'm not saying this last part applies to you but I've needed to get that off my chest for a while and you serve as a venue. I find the concept of this story interesting but I'm failing to see any coherent plot. You just seem to have things happen without a clear connection or overarching theme that makes me feel like I'm moving forward or towards something.
6790757
My apologies for any misunderstanding of this story. This is an attempt by me to branch out from writing something other than what I've been known to write. To answer your first question, the focus of this story is primarily focused around Nathan, with a few chapters in the future that would focus on other characters, see Chapter 3 for an example. The reason as to why I chose to start off this chapter with Nathan and his engine was because I decided to skip over his "Welcome to Ponyville" party.
To answer your other question, this is basically a "slice of life" chapter where we see some development from previous chapters. There is a point to this story, or rather there will be later on. The connections will be made in future chapters. I even hinted at Sunset becoming involved with the story back in Chapter 7 where Celestia mentioned postponing the Princess Summit. I will say that you are justified in thinking that there isn't a point, mostly due to the reason listed above, but I can assure you that there is an overall plan for this story.
Nice chapter. Glad to see you're progressing toward the first movie.
Speaking of the first movie, I'm starting to think there's a slim chance of Nathan moving to the EQG universe after Twilight returns from it, given how her explanation of that place will be greatly similar to Nathan's original home on Earth. Do I think that's what's really going to happen? No. Could it actually happen? Yes, but I can't even begin to imagine how much of a hard time everyone's going to have trying to get the 1506 through the portal, unless Nathan's perfectly content with leaving it behind, which I doubt will ever be the case.
I actually wasnt expecting Sunset Shimmer..
Nice job so far though. Wonder what will Nathan's reaction be to the EQ world..
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I'm finding the story enjoyable but the tags makes no sense right now. The oddest one would be the big red mature tag. Unless you plan on graphically losing a body part or have really detailed massacre scene it is a bit overkill (or sex scenes of course). The dark tag for another, Dark tags usually border on horror and bloody or mental as all get out. The last one would be the alternate universe. That tag is used when the author changes something key to the history or workings of the world like instead of Luna being banished Celestia was. Just adding your character and changing some of the episodes doesn't make it alternate universe. You pretty much picked tags declaring your story to be set in a dark bloody universe where really bad stuff happens a lot(dark,mature,gore combo multiplier). Anyway just some advice because I was expecting something very different. I do like the story though. It has been an entertaining read so far.
6799557
Thank you and thanks for the advice. The "mature" tag is staying because I am planning on adding a sex scene or two down the road. While I do see the reason behind you mentioning the "alternate universe" tag, I am hesitant to take it down because of Sunset now being involved in this story and what I have planned. However, after reading your comment, I will take down the "dark" tag and maybe even the "gore" tag since I don't think that this story will involve any bloody massacres.
6799725 lol no bloody massacres awwwww I hope you add the romance tag before the sex tag. that would be awkward otherwise. or start another story just for the sex scenes is another way to go
Sunset Shimmer... Huh, didn't see that coming but cool. Can't wait to see what happens next!
Is it just me, or are you guys sensing Nathan x Twilight?
update?
6817372 I'm thinking Nathan X Sunset
I don't mind the party skip.
When you had to write with all of the mane six in one place, I could see the struggle to write peering through. I know it's hard because I have the same problem when trying to write about 7+ characters in the same place.
why doesn’t he obviously take his train instead of trying to catch the next train, he should have plenty of time to inspect everything even though it might take awhile