Why. Why is this happening to me? I didn’t want this. I don't want this, do I?
Page generated in 0.018 seconds
Total duration
1,027 users online
1,857,474 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nice chapter, the flow of your writing is improving a lot and you are making headway in your writing, but I would suggest you done down starting use of 'I' when starting a sentence and in general too give more variety in your sentence structure.
I think doing flash back to Celestia's visit to his world was a very nice touch and added a little more depth to the protagonist and her interactions and helps to make up for the gloss over of the on the subject. What started out as more a writing mistake is turning it into an asset, good job.
I like the idea of the guard's arrows are magical. I wonder if wanting the apples are a sign of his growing equine instincts he is starting to develop at that point. the reflection on finally living the adventure in a foreign land was a nice touch too.
Keep up the good work.
I wonder if there are a blue and pink stones anywere (does any one else understand the reference)
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU SPELL SHAWN THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SPELL IT AND ITS S.H.A.W.N. NO EXCEPTION
9495497
A certain YouTuber would like to have a word with you.
9495497
There are no exceptions..... unless it’s sean
That escalated
9495467
Only a pair of Grey Stones now.
M-rated Equestrian? The answer to that should have been obvious after the arrow incident.
9784337
9495467
Truly, only the mind of a Madman could dream up such an artifact.
What weird stories
where did the dog go