This has potential.

This is great so far!

Interesting... interesting. I read 'The return of princess Nightmare Moon' So I'm hoping this isn't a copy but Luna in it. Regardless, I shall read on!

6206574
It's most certainly not going to be a copy. Merely taking the concept of the starving Nightmare Moon and expanding on it in a different way.

Really nice. I like the story. It was done rather well. The humor was sweet and funny. The setting was well sad and everyone has got even more questions after reading it. What the hay happened with Nightmare Moon?

6207151
That'll be explained when I get the chance to write up a few more chapters.

This looks very promising.

6207248
I guessed that much.

Moar? Pretty please? With pinkie pie on top? :3

Not bad.

Want more

Yes. This looks good.

I thoroughly enjoy Nightmare Moon fics like these!

It could so with some heavy editing to clear up spelling andgrammar, though. I would have liked to see a longer chapter because there seems to be more going on than what is being depicted but that along with some spell I g and grammar is my only grips

All things considered, I'm going to give this a 6/10, my up vote, favorite, and encouragement to do a good job with this!

6211812
Once I get a few more chapter's down, I'll probably get some help from an editor or something.
I am going to work on the chapter some more though, before I get to work on a second chapter.

please we would like some more

how long you will make ch.1?...

making she everypony was having a good time, the games were properly set up and working

"sure"

Screaming, followed by angry shouts and a giggling rainbow flying off to find her next victims.

Capitalize Rainbow.

she turned to the side, dropped her head down, and threw u. After she finished her heaving

"up"

There are a couple instances of non-capitalized proper nouns and odd grammar around dialog. Though grammar around dialog is a difficult thing since the rules are kinda weird, like all rules in the English language.

You seem to be going down a nice path, have direction and some sort of conflict that will keep readers coming back for more. I would offer to edit, but I am a bit swamped at the moment since others have been asking me to do things and then life hit. But, if chapters remain short (sub-4000 words) and you use Google Docs or something that would not require me to copy-paste everything I find; I could probably fit you in.

6216902
Danke!
Hopefully I fixed most, if not all, of the mistakes with this edit.

6212947
6207801
6215078
I'll probably get to it sometime next week. As much as I would love to churn out a chapter a day, I have a tendency to burn out on stuff really quickly if I do it too much.

6218198

Stopping before Luna, she took her time to catch her breath before speaking, "A terrible f-fright I've had this Nightmare Night!"
Luna moved closer, placing her hoof on the zebra in the hopes of calming her, "A terrible fright? What has happened?"

Since these don't have dialog tags (said, asked, say, questioned) they can just end with a period. Though you can get away with this since it is adhering to the less known rules.

and the snacks were filled. Excited chatter streamed from her as she zipped back and forth

there was no separate being, and the elements have long since purified me of such hatred!

Places where there is a double space.

Everything else looked to be in order. Though what you have written is so much prettier and fun to read than what I just trudged through.

How the mighty have fallen.
Sounds good, will be following.

This could prove quite interesting. I do love a good Nightmare Moon story.

It's a good premise.I'll be keeping an eye on this.

I wonder why this is in the Hero Nightmare Moon group? Right now NMM is a starving pony with no signs of heroic stuff or leaning. Maybe she will eventually but premature right now.

Hopefully this is updating soon since it's over a week. I really wanna see where this goes.

6246375
I've had another chapter in the works for several days now, but work has been a bitch and I haven't been able to get it finished.

6246465 okay.

Heh I enjoyed what you have put out so far nice work.

an interesting start. i will track to see where this goes

Her (Rarity) costume was of a vampony, With a cape that had too high of a collar, a dribble of fake blood down her chin, and slicked back hair.

In the next paragraph

She (Rarity) had no costume, and instead came in a black dress with her hair up in a bun, as she had no time to make a costume of her own.

So which is it?

6246375 This is nothing new to me. I see stories placed in the wrong folder/group all the time.