The griffon tapped the table lightly. "You two, we're going to get through this. Just stay calm."
Diamond raised a brow. "We are calm."
Silver Spoon squirmed a little. "T-thanks... So what do we have to do?" Her voice betrayed that she wasn't as calm as Diamond Tiara claimed.
Their companion hiked a thumb towards the door. "We wait for that big oaf to come back, then I put his head on straight."
Diamond waved a hoof lightly. "What if he decides we didn't kill anypony, but we stole the bow?"
The griffon shrugged. "That would be a lot less trouble for me, but I don't think you did that either. You both have the stink of aristocracy, which makes me wonder how you got outside the pony empire in the first place, to say nothing of all the way out in the middle of nowhere." She shook her head. "I'm Dark Streak, by the way. Not the best way to meet someone, but not the worst I've heard."
Silver rubbed behind her head. "What's the worst?"
Dark smiled. "Well, the big oaf met his lady friend by dropping a tree on her by accident."
Diamond rolled her eyes. "I'm sure his papers are going to be such a mess. We'll be rich by the time we finish sorting them out."
Silver Spoon smiled. "Do you really think you can sort it out?"
Diamond rose to her full height. "Of course I can! If that stupid birdcat didn't stop us, we'd already be half done by now."
Dark glanced towards the door, where the sheriff had not returned through yet. "What is it, precisely, you'd be half done with?"
Silver suddenly raised a hoof. "Wait, did you say the pony empire? You mean, like, Equestria?"
Dark frowned at Silver. "I never heard it called that before."
Diamond snorted softly. "You can't expect every griffon to know about Equestria. You've at least heard of Celestia? Moves the sun?"
Dark shook her head. "Do you refer to the Sun King, or is it Queen with the ponies? You horses are charmingly misandrist."
Diamond clopped a hoof on the table. "You take that back!"
Silver sat up. "Yeah! Uh, what is that?"
Dark rolled her eyes. "It means you favor females over males."
Diamond pointed at Dark. "Shows what you know. My daddy's rich and powerful. When ponies hear the name Filthy Rich, they know to get their act together!"
Dark focused on Diamond. "Well that explains that." The door slammed open to admit the heavy build of the head lumberjack that doubled as the town law. "And here's our oaf. Let me do the talking." She pushed away from the table and approached the other griffon. "Hey, Snow Drift, what'd you find?"
Snow scowled at Dark. "No griffon deserves to go out that way. You have my condolences."
Dark frowned. "What do you mean?"
Snow pointed back out the door. "We found your husband, in several pieces like he was pulled apart. Someone even cooked parts of 'im, but it wasn't eaten, just another sick twist on a grisly scene. Up at the cabin."
Dark shuddered softly. "They told me about the cabin. It was the work of Old Greybeak. She's still haunting the place, and apparently has a soft spot for chicks. She let the ponies stay, but ripped my husband apart."
Snow shrugged. "You sound awful accepting of it. That was your husband we're talking about."
Dark snarled. "Damn fool shouldn't have gone hunting. I told him to stay home that day, but no. That's what he gets for ignoring me. We should burn the cabin to the ground and salt the earth under it while we're at it. I know Greybeak had a rough time of it, but that's no excuse for hunting the living."
Snow looked past Dark to the two ponies, then back at Dark. "You sound fairly certain."
"I am." She pointed at the bow hanging from Silver Spoon. "And that's hers. Leave them be. Just two lost ponies with their heads full of fancy city thoughts. Koidon take me if I understand how they got here, but here they are. If you got work for them, it'd be a kindness."
"The way I see it--" He drew a heavy axe from his back. "You might have been wanting your boy dead."
Dark's brows went up together. "Come again? Say that one more time without that crutch of a stick in your arms." She flexed her fingers, showing off her ready talons. "Any griffon that'd walk into Greybeak's arms deserves what they get. Damn fool probably got lost in the snow. You want me to cry for him? I'll do that on my own time, and not for your pleasure."
Snow thumped his chest loud enough to be heard through the room. "We're a small town. We have to stick together, not throw one another out the moment they make a mistake." He scowled at Dark. "Which you might have been a part of. You keep your beak clean." He turned away and stormed out, leaving the few other griffons loitering around plenty to whisper about.
Dark returned to the table with the ponies and slapped it with the flat of a talon. "Sun King take him! Blasted fool's going to make my life miserable." She looked across at Diamond Tiara. "And good luck getting him to hire you. Pretty sure he just lumped the three of us in the 'trouble' category, and he's a mite slow about changing those."
Diamond sat forward. "Well fine, who are the competitors? We'll drive him out of business."
Dark raised a brow. "Competitor? He's the only one in town. You're out of luck, chicks."
Silver tapped her chin. "Well, say, if you're in trouble, and we're in trouble, why don't we find a better place together?"
Diamond looked at Silver skeptically before silently conceding the point and turning her gaze on Dark. "What skills do you bring to the table?"
She rolled her eyes. "I know when to not wander around in a blizzard, how's that for a start? I know how to hold my own in a scrap, which I imagine is more than either of you can say." She leaned in on the table. "I should be asking you why I should bother with you two sorry scraps of horse meat."
Silver smiled at Dark. "I feel like we should be together." She pulled her bow off her back. "Like I was supposed to find this. Please join us."
Dark tilted her head a little. "Huh. That's the least sensical argument you could have come up with, girl, but I like it. If Koidon's arranging an interesting way for me to meet her, I'll rise to the occasion, and not have to tell her I let two morsels go get themselves killed because I thought they'd be annoying."
Diamond held out a hoof. "Welcome to the company. We look forward to our mutual success."
Dark took the hoof and shook it firmly, to Diamond's clear distress. "Come on. We'll fetch my things, have a dinner worth talking about, and set out at first light. I was getting bored of this hole in the wall town anyway. Want to see the griffon capital? I hear it's a great place if you have some sense in you."
Silver slipped from her chair to the floor and moved to follow Dark. "Actually, if you could, you know, go towards the ponies? That'd be great."
Diamond nodded. "If we could reach my daddy, he'd pay you well and maybe we could get you a job. How'd you like that?"
Dark raised a brow. "I'm nobody's fool. You aren't from around here."
Silver nodded in agreement. "We're from Equestria, er, the pony empire as you called it?"
Dark pointed a talon at Silver. "I don't think we're talking about the same thing."
Diamond shrugged as they left the inn and started plodding through the snow. "Well, where else would we be?"
Silver tilted her head. "Maybe she sent us to the other side of the world. Maybe they're, like, talking about Saddle Arabia!"
Diamond frowned at the idea. "I don't think so. They wouldn't call that 'the pony empire'. It has a name! And I don't remember there being tons of griffons next to it."
Dark nodded at Diamond Tiara. "Exactly. Wherever you came from, it's nowhere near here. You don't look quite right either." She reached for Silver Spoon and picked up a hoof. "So flat, and round. You're like a chick's drawings rather than any pony I've seen. The barkeep said you had hoof magic, but didn't know any spells."
Silver pulled her hoof back, then picked up a rock easily with her hoof. "This?"
Dark swatted the rock aside. "That. It's not natural."
Diamond Tiara shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal. Fine, if you're sure Equestria's not close to here, we'll go where you want to go. Daddy's not going to come looking in this little backwater place anyway."
They soon arrived at Dark's house, a modest affair with one story, a kitchen, a bedroom, and a living room. She pointed around the living room. "You can stay here the night. I'll get some blankets." She vanished into the bedroom.
Silver leaned towards Diamond. "Do you think we can trust her?"
Diamond raised a brow. "I thought you said you 'felt' it was the right thing to do?"
"Well, yes, I still do..." She scuffed a hoof on the floor. "I just wanted your opinion."
Diamond threw a leg over Silver Spoon and squeezed her. "I have this under control, Silver. Don't worry. Just do as I say and we'll come out of this better than we went in."
Silver smiled, looking encouraged by the confident words. "I'll do my best, Diamond. This place, it scares me a little... I hope they come for us soon."
Dark returned with bedding, setting down two blankets and an equal number of pillows. "You two have any allergies? Can you handle meat?"
Diamond made a face of disapproval, sticking out her tongue. "Unless you're talking about fish, pass."
Dark shrugged and moved into the kitchen, peeking into cupboards in a quick search. "I have some potatoes left. I could bake those."
Silver clopped her hooves together. "I love baked potatoes. With butter and that green stuff?"
Diamond nodded lightly. "If that's what you have. So griffons eat meat?"
Dark clacked her beak together. "This isn't just for dazzling appearances. It's made for cutting meat. I'm not one of those prey-aspected sorts. I eat whatever I get my talons on. Tonight, that includes potatoes."
They ate together, filling their bellies with starchy goodness. Unlike their meal at the tavern, seconds were included, and the two fillies eventually retired with full stomachs and renewed hope for the next day.
"To say nothing of" implies that the second is more extreme than the first, so it would flow better as
"You both have the stink of aristocracy, which makes me wonder how you got outside the pony empire in the first place, to say nothing of all the way out in the middle of nowhere."
lumberjack
shook
add a comma "things, have"
I like Dark Streak. She already seems a really useful sort. A raven-headed griffon is probably the easiest to come to a dietary understanding with. It's kind of fun the way her and DT are connecting on an accounting level.
I'm glad you made them do without Pinkie at the start; it's been much more interesting to watch them flounder without an adult. I have to wonder though: where did she end up? It would be hilarious if they end up having to rescue her.
6171679 Fixes applied so Diamond stops glaring at me.
No boss fight? A cursed griffon? Well, every good RPG requires a bit of grinding before any big moments. +1 Party members though, so yay!
6172013 Getting into a drag-down beating in the middle of the town hardly seems constructive.
a 3rd has joined our little group, this may work out in the end.
6172055 As anyone whose ever played Skyrim can attest to. xD
And so Diamond hires herself a Chief Combat Officer. I do love how she's forcing a corporate metaphor on her interactions. It's how she sees the world.
Silver, meanwhile, argues from destiny, an interesting way of looking at things. I look forward to seeing her develop, inasmuch as she can while remaining Diamond's lackey.
And Dark Streak? Well, hopefully she can keep those ridiculous marshmallow fillies alive long enough for a certain party pony to find them. Though if she thinks that will wash her talons of the matter, she has another thing coming.
Several typos. I blame Snow Drift's lax administration abilities:
Starting a chapter with a pronoun is a bad idea. I can determine who's speaking through context, but it's generally better to open with explicit identification, even if you have to call her "the griffon."
Capitalization needed.
Missing word, presumably "got."
6173550 Typos sent to HR.
Given that a pronoun is usually taken to refer to the character that was most recently named (or otherwise unambiguously indicated), I'd change that to something like "Their companion hiked a thumb towards the door."
Same problem here. I'd change this to something that sidestepped the indicator of who's speaking altogether, e.g. "That would be a lot less trouble for me," the reply was calmly given, "but I don't think you did that either."
"'em" is plural, being short for "them." This should be "parts of 'im."
6178477 Tweaks applied, for justice.
6178574 So all of a sudden, Diamond Tiara Silver Spoon's hopes for getting along in this town are dashed, simply because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Harsh, but not unexpected for such a harsh world. Still, it's not a complete loss, as they've found a new traveling companion in Dark Beak, the recently-widowed griffoness.
As it stands right now, I have mixed feelings with regards to Dark Beak. Her combination of determinism and moral desert (e.g. "you get what you deserve, good or bad") are such that she seems almost sociopathic in her detachment from everyone around her...something most clearly demonstrated by her utter lack of compassion on the sudden, violent death of her husband. True, she said she'd weep for him "on her own time," rather than "not at all," but she honestly seems like she wouldn't cry for him at all, since in her mind he deserved to die for A) going out hunting in such bad conditions, and B) wandering into a cabin that he (apparently, in her view) should have known was haunted.
Needless to say, this does not fill me with confidence in her role as a caregiver. Indeed, one can see this with regard to how she comes to the conclusion that she should let the fillies travel with her: it has almost nothing to do with whether or not taking care of two children - that are clearly unable to adequately care for themselves in their current environment, regardless of how big they talk - is the right thing to do. Instead, it has to do with her belief that this was "supposed" to happen (via the will of the gods) and that not doing so would make her look bad in the eyes of said gods. She's concerned about harmony, but it's a dark irony that it's the harmony that comes with accepting the will of higher powers, no matter how awful it is, rather than the harmony that comes from making friends with your local community.
She's better than nothing, to be sure, but I honestly see her not going too far out of her way to help the fillies if things become bad enough. Should it look like something can't be averted, then Dark Beak seems like the type to shrug and say "the gods sometimes make bad things happen to good people. Accept it and move on." Or to put it another way, any griffon that uncaring of her own mate's death - to the point where even the other griffons feel that she's being cold! - would certainly not care very much about what happened to two little ponies.
So yeah, while I hope that Dark Beak can help Diamond and Silver get to a more hospitable climate, I won't miss her too much when the time comes for her to part ways with them.
Beyond that, it was nice to see the issue with the haunted cabin come back into play, reintegrating that sequence back into the main narrative and strengthening the story as a whole for it. I suppose my only issue at this point is why no one is taking up Dark Beak's suggestion to burn that cabin to the ground. Seriously, they've already lost at least one person to it - is there any reason not to destroy it?
We do see Diamond and Silver come closer to figuring out just how far they've traveled, but it's amusing to see them not quite get it yet. That's not unexpected, of course, since I doubt they have much experience with the idea of other worlds or foreign planes of existence, so we get to watch as their little minds are stretched with trying to comprehend the distance - literally beyond what can be physically traversed - that they've traveled from their home.
Beyond that, the friendship between the two fillies remains the bright spot in this fic, not in spite of how much they fight, but rather because of it. As it stands now, the story is doing a great job of making the bond between Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon feel different from that between the CMC, despite both stories having the same premise of "children learning to survive in a hostile world." The fact that Diamond and Silver clearly don't have a relationship of equals is interesting to see, particularly in light of the fact that they bicker even despite their closeness. They honestly feel like they have an older-younger sister relationship than that of best friends. Which is to say, they're more dynamic characters, at least in terms of having foibles that make it easier to empathize with them.
Hopefully the next town they come to will be more welcoming...if they make it that far.
6178574
Here, let me edit that for you…
Tweaks applied, for great justice.