Luna vs. a Tiny Italian Car

by totallynotabrony

Chapter 12

August 20, 2015
Instead of going home, we went to Detroit.

YGBSM!

However, Maria and I decided not to say anything about the city and let Luna judge for herself.

Going into Detroit, I figured it would be a good idea to get help. Having a local on the ground, like Jean in Montreal, had proven a boon. So I called my buddy Russell. Not only did he know his way around, he was a pretty big dude.

He met us in a parking garage that was practically empty. We got out of the car, Luna looking around at the scenery, or lack thereof. The garage wasn’t the only empty thing around.

We exchanged greetings and Russell asked, “What brings you to Detroit?”

“Princess Luna is looking for her sister, who has been kidnapped by Tirek.”

He did the standard “surprise incognito alicorn reveal” jump. However, this being Detroit, it wasn’t the most tumultuous thing that had happened recently. She was about the most colorful, interesting thing around, though. Russell took a little bow. “I’ll do anything I can to help, princess.”

“We must go deeper into the city,” said Luna. “That is where I have detected Tirek.”

“We’ve been following him since Bronycon,” I added. “This is kind of unusual, though. While he’s been sticking to cities, this doesn’t fit his standard profile. The last time we encountered him, he was at a Circe du Soleli/horse show mashup in Montreal.”

“Well, let’s see what we’re dealing with.” Russell glanced at the Fiat and made a face. “Uh, maybe I’ll drive myself.”

He followed us and we followed Luna’s directions.

“The signal has grown fainter,” said Luna. “I hope we are not too late.”

I sped up a little. There wasn’t much traffic, but there were potholes the size of tank traps.

“We’re close,” Luna announced. “I think it could be that large building up ahead.”

It looked like a quintessential abandoned factory: flat roof, corroding metal siding, blank windows. Based on the rusted fire escapes on the outside, it looked three stories tall. Trust me, I’m a building inspector.

I drove carefully around the gravel parking lot until we spotted a door that looked like it would open. There was a hasp, but no padlock.

We got out and Luna yanked the door open. Ordinarily I would have been cautious, but after Tirek had been surprised by us before, he’d be a fool not to be expecting us. Before I followed Luna into the building, I made sure to lock the car. Beep!

Russell looked a little disappointed that he’d forgotten to bring a gun of his own to the party, but gamely joined us in the center of the factory floor. There were a few old machines around, but we’d easily swept the place and found that it was empty.

“Up,” said Luna, indicating stairs. She led the group.

The electricity didn’t work, though the dirty windows let in some light. The second floor was made up of smaller rooms, most containing junk. Luna didn’t go into any of them, pausing about halfway across the floor. She squinted upwards, and whispered, “I believe Tirek is up there.”

She turned to find the next set of stairs, but I stopped her. “Will he be expecting you to come up the logical way? Why not go right through the floor?”

Luna considered it, and nodded. I backed away to give her some space. While I thought my idea was pretty good, I must admit some selfishness. I wanted to see Luna cut loose and rip things apart.

She carefully walked back and forth a few paces, narrowing her aim. Then, she pointed her horn upwards and a ball of energy began to form. I felt the hairs on my arms stand up.

A cone of blue magic five or six feet wide flashed upwards with a crack like thunder, punching a hole at least that big in the ceiling directly above her. Dust cascaded down from everywhere else.

Luna glanced down at where scraps and shards of building material had fallen around her hooves. Some were marked with squiggles. “What’s this? Some sort of prepared spell?”

She glanced upward. Two faces painted white appeared, peering down over the edge of the hole.

“Mimes?” Maria burst out, incredulously.

“Are you from the Cavalia show?” Luna asked. “Êtes-vous de Cavalia?”

Instead of confirming that, the two of them dropped through the hole, landing gracefully and taking up poses.

Russell look a step forward and both of them spun to face him. One twitched a finger, naughty-naughty style. Russell took another step.

The mime put up a box. Russell punched him in the face.

The other one started to build a lasso like a cowboy. Russell punched him in the face, too.

Luna laughed. “The first time I have found mimes entertaining. Thank you, good sir.”

“But what are they doing here?” I asked.

Luna glanced again at the runes on the broken floor above. “Perhaps in Montreal Tirek recruited them to his cause? Perhaps he then set up a facsimile of his magical signature here, in an attempt to lure us.”

“It worked,” I pointed out.

Luna frowned. “I am afraid so.”

“I’ll take care of these guys,” said Russell. “If you want to go check the perimeter.”

“I shall also stay here,” said Luna. “Perhaps we can get the mimes to talk.”

We left them there while Maria and I went back downstairs. The car was where we parked it and I beeped the doors open. About half a dozen sketchy-looking people suddenly appeared at the sound.

I guess I’d done a lot of gun-pointing in the last few weeks, but this was the first time I’d had one, or actually a couple, pointed back at me. Fortunately, none of us seemed to be in a particularly trigger-happy mood. A Mexican standoff commenced.

“Get in the car,” I said quietly to Maria.

“You’re a better driver. You get in the car, get it started, and then I’ll get in.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence. You want me to toss you your shotgun?”

“That only holds five shots. My pistol has twelve.”

“Fair enough.” I opened the driver’s side door, which caused worrying restlessness among our uninvited guests.

“You guys work for Tirek?” I asked as I reached inside to put the keys in the ignition. I had forgotten to press the button to pop the switchblade key out of the fob and corrected the error with a little fumbling.

“Who?”

“A weird red and black centaur-looking guy.”

There was some hurried whispering from our friends followed by, “Dude had money.”

“Is that all it takes?” said Luna, descending to hover over the car. Nobody noticed her so she cleared her throat and announced, “I am Princess Luna,” followed by a repetition of her previous statement. “In that case, take this and be on your way!”

Maria used the distraction to get into the car as Luna summoned a gold brick and tossed it on the ground. It landed with a tink.

One of them picked it up and frowned, tossing it from hand to hand. “Is gold really this light?”

I put the car in gear and tromped the accelerator to the floor. Front wheel drive doesn’t really allow you to do a quick turn followed by showering your enemies with gravel, so I just went straight ahead. Everyone in front of us scattered, buying us a few seconds. I hauled the wheel over and zipped around the corner of the building.

Maria glanced out the window and commented, “We should probably let Luna in.”

“Give me a second.” I backed off the gas enough so that our pursuers wouldn’t get too discouraged and stop chasing us. As I rounded the next corner, I sped up again.

We arrived back in front of the building as they were going around the back. Maria jumped out. The Fiat’s hatch was opened by a small electronic button up under the license plate frame. Luna had previously discovered that she couldn’t fit her hoof in there, much to her frustration.

She loaded up and Russell came out of the building, hurrying for his car. I had time for a brohoof with him before we again had to run for our lives.

He split off and we both left Tirek’s hired help in the dust.

“So what was with that fake gold?” I asked once we were back on the highway.

“Surely you did not expect me to price-match a villain such as Tirek. I feel no guilt over the deception, either. There is no honor among mercenaries.”

Maria and I traded glances. Luna caught it. “Which is why you are my trusted associates.”

I guess I didn’t feel too bad about it. Even though we hadn’t caught Tirek today, we’d managed to avoid his trap pretty awesomely. That still left the hassle of him hiring humans, however.

“If those mimes came from Montreal, do you think he’s trying to recruit people wherever he goes?” Maria asked.

“If so, our job may have become more difficult,” Luna replied.

“So where are we going to guess he goes next?” I said.

Maria picked up the atlas. “If he goes west, maybe Chicago. If he continues southwest, maybe Indianapolis. His route from Montreal to Detroit was his longest hop yet, though, so maybe as far as St. Louis.”

“We should do some data analysis and figure out his average movement per day,” I said. “Eh, sounds hard.”

“We have nothing more productive on which to spend time,” Luna said.

I was about to suggest she keep typing her letter, but decided that maybe some peace and quiet would be better.

Comments

[Chicago Ted]

Makes sense he would go to Detroit. That's where a lot of horsepower was manufactured.

[Admiral Biscuit]

Mimes.
travelingwanderlust.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/raiders-of-the-lost-ark_3.jpg Why did it have to be mimes.

[RoboRed]

fkn mimes.

[Herald of Opera]

One of them picked it up and frowned, tossing it from hand to hand. “Is gold really this light?”

The cheeky dick-waffle. That said, if she still put the royal seal on it they might be able to get a decent amount on the historical value.