Luna vs. a Tiny Italian Car

by totallynotabrony

Chapter 2

August 3, 2015
Packing for a roadtrip is easy. Gather all the things that you’ll need for the length of time you’ll be gone, and then see what fits in the car. Even with the Fiat, that wasn’t too difficult. Maria and I had only budgeted for a week. It would still be a nice vacation for the both of us.

That is, if it wasn’t going to be so tense.

I’d heard reports that the Maryland National Guard was setting up a perimeter around the convention center in Baltimore. The last couple of years had been pretty negative for MLP conventions, what with the attacks.

The government was still reluctant to admit that Earth had been visited more than once by changelings looking for love in all the wrong places.

And so Maria and I went prepared: clothes, camera, kit.

Maria’s shotgun, my rifle, and both our handguns fit nicely behind the front seats. With the rear seats folded down, our bags covered the stockpile.

I don’t know why Maria’s father had needed a stockless 870, but she sure was handy with the inherited shotgun. Her P229, as well. Not that I was a slouch with my 1911 or homebuilt AR-15, mind you.

From a logistics standpoint, it would have been easier if we didn’t have to deal with four different kinds of ammunition, but if we needed more than we brought, we had bigger problems.

Speaking of bringing our own, we needed to stop at a grocery store on the way out of town and pick up bottled water, fresh fruits and vegetables, almonds, raisins, and granola bars. For the three days we planned to be on the road and the weekend of the convention, it should be enough for plenty of snacks.

After loading the suitcases into the car, I went back to the house to take a last look around. Maria snapped her fingers in memory. “Oh right, I meant to restock the traveling first aid kit.”

“We still have time,” I said.

She shrugged. “I’ll just get the all-purpose bag out of the truck. The needles might be a little larger, but anyone who needs them won’t be complaining.”

She grabbed the all-purpose large-animal-and-apparently-people medical duffel bag out of her truck and transferred it to the car.

The two of us got into the front seat and buckled up. I felt the slight twinge of excitement that always came with the beginning of a long trip.

Heading to Baltimore would be easy once we found our way to major highways, but to get there from our home in the upper peninsula of Michigan took some doing. We could cross the bridge at Mackinaw or drive down and around via Chicago. Or, as I managed to convince Maria, we could ride the ferry across the lake between Manitowoc, Wisconsin and Ludington, Michigan.

We made our way along, following the scenic routes because we had time. We traced the Ohio River into the Appalachians. The eastern mountains aren’t as high as the Rockies, but the roads can be tighter.

For me, roadtrips are all about the experience of seeing something new. Our world is so diverse that you can travel for a day and find a completely different biome.

We rolled into Baltimore on the evening of the 6th. Convention-goers were already everywhere. They were easy to spot.

By chance, I ran into my old friend Gary Oak, who’d I’d last seen at a convention in Seattle two years before. He introduced me to his fellow Canadian, Rianna Parks. They both looked as happy to be in Maryland as any Canadians had since they burned the White House during the War of 1812.

I’m exaggerating. But in case I’m not, USS Constellation was tied to the pier one block from the convention center.

After a few hellos, Gary pulled me to the side for a quick word. “So, did you hear anything weird about this convention?”

“Yes, but please define weird.”

“Well...Queen Chrysalis visited me and told me that I was supposed to organize a slot for the royalty of Equestria to announce themselves to Earth.”

“Yeah, that’s supposed to happen. Need help?”

He waved his hand. “No, I already sorted it out. We announced it as a special tier of ticket prices. On the website, it says anyone who pays the extra price gets to be personal attendant to a Princess of Equestria. Of course, there’s already people jumping at it and they don’t even know we’re serious.”

“Nice. You guys have the money game figured out like Hasbro.”

Gary winced at the name, but begrudgingly admitted it. “Yeah. I had a long talk with Chrissy. She told me the comics and Equestria Girls aren’t canon, Hasbro just made them up for the money. It still doesn’t answer the question of how they are involved with a show about ponies who turned out to be real and living in another world.”

I shrugged. “Faust willing, maybe we’ll find out eventually.”

We went back to where Maria was talking to Rianna, about contact lenses for horses of all things. I would have asked where that came from, when Chrissy suddenly appeared at my elbow. With cosplay that good, it couldn’t be anyone else.

“Sandy, will you be attending the annual BronyCon BarCrawl?” She grinned, everything from the top of her head to the bottom of her spike heels glittering green and black.

“Do you think that’s a good idea with the whole make-sure-the-princesses-have-a-good-time-and-a-productive-diplomatic-session thing going on? Also, for you, wouldn’t it be a bartrot?”

“If he doesn’t go, I will,” volunteered Gary.

Chrissy took his arm. “Perfect.”

“We’ll be back,” said Gary. “Maybe. Time to put on some beer goggles.”

Chrissy winked at me. “Time to take advantage of people putting on beer goggles.”

I shook my head as the two of them walked away. If scientists ever discovered slut-powered energy, she’d be a perpetual motion machine.

Maria and I checked into our hotel. I went out again to meet up with some friends and pass out a few of my custom business cards. It never hurts to get ahead of things.

Apparently Luna had the same idea. She was in my hotel room when I got back.

Author's Note:

Special thanks to GaryOak and Themaskedferret

Comments

[D48]

Huh, I was totally expecting them to have to deal with Luna on the way there. I guess the chaos will be a bit later on based on that last line.

Also, out of curiosity, what is the that P229 chambered for? I would guess 9mm due to availability, but there are other options for that gun and I assume it is a real weapon based on the nature of this story.

[totallynotabrony]

6276665 In Roadtrip, I said it was .40

[D48]

6276670 Ah, thanks. I forgot that little detail.

[Twilight_the_spy]

DAMMIT MY PERVERTED MIND
First thing I thought when Luna was in the room, was her all seductively saying, "hey, let's get a head of things, shall we?"

[kingtiger666]

Bronies are alien weaboos, and MLP is a documentary series. I have a feeling this is going to get weird.

[derpydad]

What exactly does attendant to a member of the royal family (princesses) mean. Sounds like it would be fun

[derpydad]

6278154 my dream come true Luna in my hotel room

[Herald of Opera]

From a logistics standpoint, it would have been easier if we didn’t have to deal with four different kinds of ammunition, but if we needed more than we brought, we had bigger problems.

If you need to fire a gun, things have gone pretty seriously sideways. (Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it, though)

“I’ll just get the all-purpose bag out of the truck. The needles might be a little larger, but anyone who needs them won’t be complaining.”

Also, there's a nonzero chance you'll end up needing to give first aid to an equine anyway.

If scientists ever discovered slut-powered energy, she’d be a perpetual motion machine.

That's not far off from how changeling magic works anyway. Which she would point out if you'd said it out loud.