Luna vs. a Tiny Italian Car

by totallynotabrony

Chapter 13

August 25, 2015
It took a day to work out where we should go next. We were split on destination, trying to figure out where to go to put us close to Tirek’s next appearance.

I wanted to go home. It wasn’t so far away in Michigan and had all the comforts of, well, home. Maria thought that since we were already on the road, we should see a few sights, slyly suggesting the Pink Pony Bar at Mackinac Island. Luna thought we should head south, though was unsure how far.

We eventually ended up camped at a small motel in the hills east of Fort Wayne, Indiana. The joke there is that Indiana has no hills and the only thing east of Fort Wayne, Indiana is Ohio. Also, it was a Richard Bach reference, but I wouldn't expect you casuals to know anything about that.

The city was named after “Mad” Anthony Wayne, a general from the Revolutionary War. I really wish I hadn’t hung around the city long enough to know that. It was also where Johnny Appleseed was buried, so I guess there’s that.

Luna was not particularly enamoured with the place, though the idea of someone spreading apples across the countryside appealed to her.

One evening a few days after arriving, Maria and I sat outside the front door of our room, furniture dragged out onto the second floor level. There was a nice view of the sunset in the distance.

We were passing a glass bottle of cream soda back and forth. We’d been in the motel long enough to start exploring the local area, and had picked a favorite local convenience store from which to source our junk food. Both of us were getting pretty ragged from being on the road. My beard itched. Maria didn’t like it, either. Not that it mattered. With Luna along, sex had been impossible for about a month now.

“Where does this end?” Maria asked, finishing the bottle.

“We’ve been close before,” I reminded her. “All Tirek has to do is make a mistake.”

“We’ve been doing this for more than two weeks,” she pointed out. “How much longer is it going to take?”

“Well, Tirek hasn’t accomplished whatever he’s planning yet. We could have a lot of time.”

“You say that like it’s a good thing. Do you want to be living like a nomad indefinitely?”

“No.”

Luna came out of the room. Her mane and tail had gone limp. She had stopped bothering with whatever magic that had kept them wavy and flowing. Her feathers were crooked. The alicorns were already the most svelte-looking ponies, but she may have lost some weight. I’d noticed the grass around the motel had mostly disappeared.

She’d taken to wearing the compass around her neck on a lanyard made of my spare shoelaces. Every so often, she’d look at it, just to check.

Luna glanced between the two of us staring at her and asked, “Did I interrupt something?”

We were a little too slow to answer and she pressed, “What is it?”

“Just wondering out loud when this was going to be over,” I said.

“It will be over when it is over, and not a moment sooner,” she snapped.

“Yeah, yeah, just talking hypothetically,” I defended. “It would be nice if we could think of a new tact to take.”

“Do you think that I have not been working on the problem?”

“I know you have, but...I don’t know, Luna. It’s been more than two weeks. Do you think it’s time to try something else? Maybe ask for help?”

“You have your so-called Brony Network, do you not?”

“That’s just a handful of people spread across the world. If you were to ask the government, they could do more. Heck, as much as we hear about government spying, the things we don’t hear must be pretty impressive. Now that Tirek is possibly recruiting people to his cause, he might be even easier to find.”

Luna wavered, but shook her head. “I will not harm potential relations with the human world. Ponies will not be seen as weak and needy.”

“It’s been two weeks,” Maria reiterated. “Surely they’re wondering if something is going on?”

“Better for them to wonder than for them to be sure.”

“Come on,” Maria retorted. “It was probably a good thing Sandy’s phone got broken, otherwise they’d have tasked a satellite to track us from space all across the country. And if they expect we have ponies with us, your spell would be broken - if it would even work against a camera in the first place.”

“I know outer space,” said Luna. “I am not impressed.”

“While I don’t know a lot about the United States’ military or intelligence capability,” Maria shot me a glance, “I have no doubt that they possess capabilities that would boggle your mind.”

Luna’s eyes narrowed. “I am the leader of the dominant country in my world. I can look into dreams. I once commanded a military confrontation, and would have succeeded in beating Celestia had she not used the Elements of Harmony. Perhaps the name Nightmare Moon rings a bell? Do not underestimate my knowledge of intelligence or military matters.”

Maria crossed her arms. “Sandy, get her.”

I was ready. “What about that one time where, despite the warning of an imminent attack and a huge shield protecting Canterlot, the Royal Guard was utterly overwhelmed by a changeling invasion, to the point that the Elements of Harmony and even common citizens had to resort to fighting in the street? And you showed up later and asked ‘Did I miss anything?’”

Luna was blue, but her face turned red. She twitched. Maria and I stared at her.

She snapped her wings open and soared over the railing, disappearing into the growing darkness. Within moments, she was gone.

The crickets chirped a little.

Maria glanced at me. “Speaking of changelings, could we get Chrysalis on this? Luna would hate it, but she could help.”

“Maybe.” I frowned, not totally sure Crissy wouldn’t join Tirek. “It’s something to think about. She could definitely help, if she would. I don’t know. Let’s see when Luna cools down and then we’ll talk.”

The two of us sat there as the sun finished setting. The horizon darkened to match the rest of the sky. We went inside. Luna hadn’t come back.

Comments

[Chicago Ted]

August 25, 2015

You're starting to see the future again.

[Shinzakura]

6348164
Better the future than a past we shall never know.

Then again, he could see that too.

[D48]

I was ready. “What about that one time where, despite the warning of an imminent attack and a huge shield protecting Canterlot, the Royal Guard was utterly overwhelmed by a changeling invasion, to the point that the Elements of Harmony and even common citizens had to resort to fighting in the street? And you showed up later and asked ‘Did I miss anything?’”

Owned!

[Dafaddah]

Geez, is someone regretting that it took them a whole month to think up this strategy?

[Lord Legion]

“What about that one time where, despite the warning of an imminent attack and a huge shield protecting Canterlot, the Royal Guard was utterly overwhelmed by a changeling invasion, to the point that the Elements of Harmony and even common citizens had to resort to fighting in the street? And you showed up later and asked ‘Did I miss anything?’”

Oh, shots fired!

[Skywriter]

I continue to enjoy your narrator's deadpan, matter-of-fact approach to virtually everything.

[Triple Word Score]

The joke there is that Indiana has no hills and the only thing east of Fort Wayne, Indiana is Ohio.

It's all true My home state is bereft of interesting geography.

[totallynotabrony]

6351695 There's an inverse relationship between interacting with ponies and zeal of reaction.