“Wonderful news! LOOK! Princess Cadance is better than new!” Rarity cheered. Then an orange mare sat up from one of the massage couches and said, “Princess Cadance, so
this is where you've been. I'll have you know this has been the worst welcome I've had in all my years.”
6580428 It will be coming soon. At least part of the next chapter will have the first hint and trust me the honeymoon gets completely destroyed with the first conflict.
Something was lost, here.
6457299 fixed
6457397 But now you forgot to seperate the dialogue
6457448
6457482 Actually, the seperation should be after "Rarity cheered"
6457488
6457500 Just because I'm enjoying this more than I should, doesn't mean I'm not trying to help
6457533
6460277 she's willing to share. Both of them will outlive him.
6460641
Yep. Just finished reading it and found that out.
I like the story. It is an interesting idea and I'm already thrilled to see where this goes!
have you noticed you have a spacing problem in places
It's alright, but we need more conflict, when are we ending the honeymoon?
Keep going! ;)
6580428 It will be coming soon. At least part of the next chapter will have the first hint and trust me the honeymoon gets completely destroyed with the first conflict.