There are multiple areas where you refer to this Twilight as female.
Twilight didn't even notice her until Celestia was breathing down her neck,
That was the first I remembered, I'll need to re-read to find the rest, I made a note that it happened but not where. Other than that looking forward to more, Submissive Celestia is definitely my favorite.
The original concept for this story was based on an image by Sunnysundown of Celestia wearing Junketsu, in which she had with dark skin. I since reworked it a little bit since then to make the story a little more open-ended. My goal with a lot of my anthro/human writing is to make it so that the writing doesn't bring up the colours/equine-specific features too much, so that the reader can easily pretend they're anthros or humans depending on preference! That said, thanks for pointing it out, it's gone now!
Way too many ! in this story for me! there are other punctuation marks one can use! i barely got a quarter through this and counted at least nine! i have nothing against exclamation marks! but here they seem a tad overused!
You know, Twilight DOES have a rule 63 name, Dusk Shine. Just pointing out, and yeah, seeing as Celestia's been pretty much bullying Twilight here, it's a bit hard to believe that he's supposed to end up on top.
There are multiple areas where you refer to this Twilight as female.
That was the first I remembered, I'll need to re-read to find the rest, I made a note that it happened but not where. Other than that looking forward to more, Submissive Celestia is definitely my favorite.
Would be better to rename Twilight into Dusk Shine.
Something I noticed is that you refer to Celestia's breasts as 'brown tits'. How is Celestia, a alabastar alicorn, have brown tits?
well damn
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She might be human, with normal skin tones (In this case tanned) rather then the usual anthro and Equestria Girls skin tones.
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Fixed that one! Thanks for pointing it out. If you see any others, let me know?
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I strongly dislike the fanon names and I won't be using them. Sorry!
5964302
The original concept for this story was based on an image by Sunnysundown of Celestia wearing Junketsu, in which she had with dark skin. I since reworked it a little bit since then to make the story a little more open-ended. My goal with a lot of my anthro/human writing is to make it so that the writing doesn't bring up the colours/equine-specific features too much, so that the reader can easily pretend they're anthros or humans depending on preference! That said, thanks for pointing it out, it's gone now!
"yet he only felt mollified" - I see what you did there.
This was cute! Always a fan of busty Celestia.
is this a n#oneshot or do you continue this and make this a harem-story? ;)
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There are follow-up chapters planned but I have so much going on right now I'm not sure when I'll be able to get to them!
Sorry.
Way too many ! in this story for me! there are other punctuation marks one can use! i barely got a quarter through this and counted at least nine! i have nothing against exclamation marks! but here they seem a tad overused!
Good read. Marked as incomplete. Following for (hopefully) more!
You know, Twilight DOES have a rule 63 name, Dusk Shine. Just pointing out, and yeah, seeing as Celestia's been pretty much bullying Twilight here, it's a bit hard to believe that he's supposed to end up on top.
No way... you got Phurie art? D:
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Actually this art is being done by Spindles! Phurie did do a few pieces for me, but it's not pony-related so no reason to post it here.
6903311 That's impressive. It saddens me that Phurie can't be bought ;A;
wow funny, I read this story on hentai foundry before work today and then found It here lol good story I like it a lot,