• Published 18th Apr 2015
  • 1,821 Views, 19 Comments

mann vs Equestria - Szalhi



A full scale war is bound on Equestria. Luna is sure they won't win this time. Celestia has a plan. She's hired nine mercenary creatures called humans to fight for them. They have a good reputation. But maybe, they're a bit crazy.

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1 Nine strange men.

Author's Note:

This is the first chapter and shouldn't be taken seriously.

“tia, you know of this upcoming invasion right?” Luna asked trembling.

“It’s more than just an Invasion. It’s a full scale war. It’s not only the Changeling’s but possibly the Griffons and others.”

“Well, I was thinking, we could assign our whole guard to defend, but I’m not sure if it’s going to work. We only have a guard, no military.”

Celestia Chuckled, at which Luna was confused and didn’t know what could possibly be hilarious.

“What do you find hilarious about a full scale war on us? Thousands could die! For all we know, we could die too!”

“Oh, it’s just the fact that… I’ve got everything sorted out and it’s pretty hilarious when you think about it,” Celestia answered grinning. “I’ve got a group of mercenaries coming here. They’re creatures called humans but their technology is advanced. They could possibly teach other’s to fight as well.”

“A group of mercenaries? Are you sure about this? I mean, they’re different and it’s not like they’re whole kind is allying with us.”

“They’re mercenaries,” Celestia exclaimed. “They’re here for money. They could surely be trusted. They want money, the only way they’ll get it is through trust and production.”

“I guess they could work, but I want to see them before anything happens.”

“They’re seeing us as soon as they get here.”


The two alicorns were sitting in the throne room as a guard rushed in.

“Your highnesses, they’re here to see you,” the guard said bowing down.

“Send them in,” Celestia said blandly.

The sound of footsteps were heard as the door to the throne room was smashed down and nine red men rushed inside. They continued before stopping before the throne. One of them who bore a large helmet bowed.

“We have arrived as soon as we could your highnesses.”

“You made a big impression on our door,” Celestia said with slight anger.

“Well, that was kind of my idea,” Scout replied. “But considering there’s a big war, wouldn’t the castle get damaged anyway?”

“The castle may, or may not get damaged, but the destruction of the door was quite unnecessary. Tell me, which one of you is in charge?”

A man that bore a suit and a mask, a man that looked like a doctor and a man that looked like a builder of some sort approached her.

“No one’s really in charge, but us three are normally the voices that go around, I’m Spy,” Spy said bowing in front of her. He motioned to the others to do the same. “We normally call each other by our professions.”

“I’m medic,” Medic said as he rose back up and looked at the door. “You can take that out of our pay.”

Celestia smiled. “Okay, no need to act formal for now, I just want to talk with all you. Now, I’ve been told you’re really good at your jobs?”

“Oh yeah, our old boss thought we did a great job. It’s just too bad they were kind of annoying,” Scout said. “You can call me scout. Fast and speedy, they won’t see what hit ‘em. I’m like the force a nature. So, you got any plans lady?”

“Okay, so we’ve learnt three name’s so far, what about the rest of you?” Luna asked ignoring scout.

Heavy stepped forward carrying his minigun.

“I am heavy weapons guy,” He said as he set down his minigun. “and this, is my weapon. She weighs hundred and fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute It cost $400,000 to fire this gun, for 12 seconds.”

“Way to go matey,” Demoman said pushing past Heavy. “I am the demolition man. If you need any explosions, you call me. And nobody else. Just me. You hear that? Just me.”

“I’m an assassin. A Sniper to be exact, a professional,” Sniper said. “I’m a hitman, you want something dead, I can kill it. It’s all a professionals’ job. I like to hunt out in the outback. But unlike what my parents say, I’m not a crazed gun man.”

Luna stared at the weapon that Sniper carried.

“So, that can do a lot of powerful things? You have to show us later,” Luna said curious as the buff man with the large helmet pushed to the front.”

“I am a soldier,” he said saluting. He knew it wasn’t really appropriate to salute to royalty, but it was just to emphasise himself. “Frontline assault. I’m the all around.”

“That, is the Pyro,” Spy said pulling in Pyro. “He’s a bit hard to understand, but he’s quite the annihilater.”

The pyro chuckled at the large pony in front of him. A large pony. Pyro wondered if anyone else could see her. His view was slightly cut off as a small man walked in front of him.

“Pleased to meet you. I’m an Engineer. I construct stuff. Fancy machines and all them. It’s kind of like an obsession.”

“Well, it’s nice knowing you,” Celestia said. “But you won’t be staying here. You’ll be meeting my student, another princess of royalty in the town of Ponyville. But before that I want you to briefly visit the Guards. They’ll give you some orders”

The men bowed and exited the room. Luna turned to Celestia.

“They seem quite vicious, but willing to take the war on their hands.”

“They’re quite gruesome, but I think that will do plenty. They seem quite nice at the same time.”


The nine men approached the wall where a pony stopped them.

“Halt, state your business,” The pony ordered.

“We’ve been hired by Princess Celestia to assist in the upcoming war,” Soldier said saluting to the guard before producing a scroll. “We have confirmation.”

The unicorn picked up the scroll using his magic and read it over. He stopped reading and looked at them.

“Well, I’ll be damned. I didn’t think Princess Celestia was talking about you. My name’s Shining armour.”

“Are you in charge here?” Soldier asked.

“I am in charge here. I’m in charge of the solar guard.”

Soldier smiled and snapped another salute at him.

“Sir! Requesting orders!”

“I’m surprised only he’s doing that and not anyone else,” Shining Armour asked slightly amused.

“We’re mercenaries, you don’t technically own us. It’s just his thing,” Scout explained as leaned back against a wall. “Just like how Pyro likes fire and burning.”

“Yeah, we don’t technically own you. As for orders, Princess Celestia wanted to take one of your weapons for study. We’ll give it back as soon as possible.”

Engineer pulled out a shotgun and handed it to Shining armour.

“We’ve got a lot of these things. Easy to manufacture. I use them most of the time,” Engineer explained.

“We’ll take a look at this. In the meantime, all of you should be heading to Ponyville. Just go to the train station and state your business.”


Items unlocked: None.