Write Club! A Multi-Prompt Compilation

by HapHazred

Dream: JMac

It was the worst place in all of Equestria to take a nap.

Raven was just about the last mare anypony would expect to find sleeping on the job. But the circumstances were extraordinary. Princess Luna’s secretary had suddenly been taken ill, and Raven had volunteered to take her place. It had been a long time since Raven had pulled an allnighter, but she thought she was up to it. Night Court was normally comparatively quiet, after all.

Of course, this turned out to be “the night everything happened.” A feud between clans of bat-ponies had to be arbitrated. It had come to the brink of violence over a fruit tree with limbs growing over the wrong pony’s garden.

They had to rule on a dispute between the night porters at Princess Celestia’s school and a group of students, on the subject of curfews. It was agreed that a proper punishment for curfew violations had to be imposed, and that locking the doors and keeping late students out all night was certainly not a proper punishment.

Flim and Flam had been caught by a night watch pony trespassing at the Equestrian School of Mining’s Energetic Materials Testing Site. The brothers were being held as “guests” of the Palace until it could be established exactly what it was they were up to. They maintained that they “had just gotten lost,” and that was the story they were sticking to.

Finally, a raid on a dive bar in Lower, Lower Canterlot had resulted in the arrests of several underaged mare from a University of Canterlot sorority. The palace throne room had been filled with frightened and tipsy mares and their very upset (and sleep deprived) parents until the wee hours of the morning.

And so, poor Raven began her third consecutive shift of work. The throne room was empty while Princess Celestia was outside raising the sun; and Raven took this opportunity to inspect the throne one last time. It wasn’t as if the housekeeping staff hadn’t done their jobs. It was just a good idea to double check. It wouldn’t do for crumbs from the cupcakes Princess Luna had snacked on to still be there when Princess Celestia took the throne.

During this quick little inspection Raven sat. And, as is appropriate for the Throne of Equestria, it was very, very comfortable. Raven found herself thinking, “I’ll just close my eyes for a moment. It will be refreshing, and I’ll be better able to serve my Princess today.”

Moments later, Raven was dreaming.

#

“All Hail Interim Princess Raven!” declared the Sergeant at Arms.

“Please, all rise,” said Raven, as she settled herself on the Throne of Equestria. “Court is in session. My the first petitioner please come forward and present their grievance?”

The brothers Flim and Flam stepped forward, and spoke in unison. “Your Highness, we protest that our treatment represents restraint of trade!”

“I see.” Raven carefully read the scroll documenting this case. “You are charged with running an unlicensed and undocumented shipping company.”

“Protests from competitors afraid of a little competition!” declared Flim.

“You arrived unannounced at several company loading docks, and presented ourselves as their regular carriers,” said Raven. “At which point you made off with whatever loads were ready for shipping.”

“Just trying to make an honest buck. your Highness,” said Flam.

“You know nothing of the routes, the addresses, the needs of certain special materials you ended up handling… you have disrupted trade in Canterlot for… dear me, I’ve no idea how long it shall take to sort it all out! Every order you touched was late, miss-delivered, improperly handled, outright lost, or a combination of the above.”

“All new start ups have their growing pains, your Highness.”

What would Princess Celestia do?” thought Raven. “Oh, I know!”

“Of all possible violations, the Crown of Equestria of Equestria is most concerned with the fact that your ‘new startup’ is completely unlicensed, unregistered, and unbonded. You have filled no official paperwork at all.”

“That’s restraint of trade!” cried the brothers.

“We will allow you to file now, retroactively, without penalty,” said Raven.

“The Princess is most gracious!”

“So, would the court pages please bring copies of forms SF-71, UB-40, 221B, GATT 10 through GATT 23, 2115 recursive, everything we have on hazardous or restricted materials… you know what? Just bring out the entire standard ‘Keeping Track Of Miscreants’ package.”

Soon, a parade of ponies arrived at the throne room, each pony heavily laden with a stack of papers. The line extended from the throne to beyond the room’s entrance, where it extended up the hall.

“This is outrageous!” declared the brothers, eyeing the paperwork.ed

“Well, you do have the option to reject the Crown’s ruling in this case,” said Raven. “In which case it will be settled in a municipal criminal court. We would be happy to schedule you a court date if you desire.”

Flam spoke to his brother out of the corner of his mouth. “Are their any judges in Canterlot who aren’t mad at us?”

“Probably not,” Flim whispered in answer.

“We accept the Princesses judgement,” said the brothers in unison.

“Good. Guards, please escort them to quiet alcoves with writing desks where they may work uninterrupted, for however long it is necessary. And we apologize, but the departments of Treasury, Commerce, and Transportation, as well as the appropriate departments of all local governments whose borders you have crossed in shipping, all need copies. Sadly, because of an unfortunate disruption of shipping, the Palace has not gotten our order of copy paper. All forms will have to be filled out by hoof. Oh, and as you have no contracts with any of the clients you poached I shall send them all a notice letting them know they are under no obligation to pay the bills for ‘services rendered’ you have sent out.

“But that’s not fair!”

“That is my final ruling. Do you wish to argue?”

“No, Princess.”

“Excellent. Sergeant at Arms, please bring forth the next petitioner.”

Oh, that was good fun! thought Raven. I do so hope Princess Celestia would approve.

At the very edge of the dreamscape, in a corner obscured by a pillar, where not even the dreamer could see them, two ponies watched it all.

“Thank you for showing me this, Luna,” said Princess Celestia.

“I thought it would do you good to see her dreams, Tia,” answered Luna. “Note how she calls herself “Interim Princess Raven.’ Even in her fantasies she cannot bear to take your place for long.”

“That sort of devotion you cannot buy, and you can hardly even reward it properly.” Celestia watched her personal assistant hold court, and her eyes began to glisten. “She even wonders what I’d do before each decision. Actually, I like her ideas. I can hardly wait for Flim and Flam to give me a chance to try that one.”

“What now, Sister?”

“I’ve given us a beautiful day, and I think we’ll move the court out to the garden to enjoy it. There’s no need to disturb Raven. She looks so comfortable.”

“She’ll be embarrassed that you let her sleep.”

“She’ll be mortified about this no matter what, so we might as well let her sleep. She will just have to accept that I let her rest because I care. It pleases me to take care of her, it makes me happy, and she’ll accept that I indulged myself. But what about you, Luna? Aren’t you going to retire now?”

“Soon,” said Luna. “But first I have one more dreamer to oversee. It wouldn’t do for her to have anything but pleasant dreams, now would it?”

Author's Note:

This story was written by the very talented JMac. If you enjoyed this story of his, please check him and his other stories out!