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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Pinkie Pie is incredibly forgiving, so as long as he explains that he just forgot and promises to try to remember his promises in future, she should forgive him.
It took me half the chapter to remember this story. I read so many HiE fics that they get combined in my brain.
See you in four more months
Wow, nine chapters and several tens of thousands of words later and we finally get a title drop! Sort of! Kinda! Not really! Kudos!
Also, good work with the story, I now feel immensely sorry for the poor sod about meet our evil Party Overlord.
Belly rubs, lots and lots of belly rubs for Pinkie. Plus I actually think she'll purr.
The cranky nurse would have been more jealous knowing that she missed getting to Derren first.
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It was in this moment that the hungover human realized that when listening to a cyan pegasus with a prismatic mane, he would only fall into her trap.
I really wonder if anyone is going to get what I just referenced?
Rarity has everything she needs in that stash to make Rainbow a good pony.
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I feel I will either be happy with where this goes or a little saddened, but I'll still enjoy this very much.
That he's still untouched and can have a great night with you. In a bed.
I believe this is the reason why people say not to bite the hand that feeds.
Don't you worry about that. She'll bite you later in the bedroom.
Laughs don't come in barrels. They come from inside you as your body's response to delight.
I regret absolutely nothing.
The denial is strong between these two. Someone get me a chisel and a hammer and I'll tear down that wall.
He's going to regret that later.
Pinkie will not be happy with that fourth wall break.
True, but it's also the only known way for a pony to turn into a super saiyan.
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I should never do these so early in the mornings when I decide to stay up an entire night.
You're on your own with this.
Penance? The rest of the story is going to be Derren playing cat and mouse with a party pony, before eventually meting his frosting filled demise.
Party cannon loaded with cake; certain - yet tasty - death.
And now Darren will die the anime death he was earlier denied because looks can't in fact kill. He will soon wish that they could though. DUN, DUN, DUN.
You've got me thinking about my rewrite Jimbo, I might finally start to get somewhere with it. So thanks for that.
Derren welched on a Pinkie Promise?
Oh dear, its a wonder she didnt wake him up earlier on with a Flugelhorn.
Well, that was fun and I'm very much looking forward to seeing how this new piece of blackmail on Rainbow gets used. It looks like the playing field is finally level there which should make that back and forth much more fun.
Also, he really should have gone for a technical explanation to get out of the drug fumble because he could have completely derailed Twilight with SCIENCE!
Well it's nice to get an update although the long pauses between them do mean that I have to read through about a dozen paragraphs for me to remember where the story was and what this story was about.
I'm going to have to be honest about something, I'm really started to dislike Faran. The grumpy and bickering female nurse OC is not original, it's been used so many times that it's just boring now. I really hope you stop using her in every chapter, honestly at this point I'm not sure why she still has to be around him 24/7. After this doctor visit couldn't you make it that he just has to check in with her on a weekly basis so you can actually have time for him to meet other characters? She takes up so much time and it's just the same thing with them every chapter. She's just totally unoriginal with the exception that she sometimes speaks in another language...that's it, and I feel that's just not enough to keep her interesting.
A joke isn't as funny the more times you use/hear it and I think it's starting to run its course by this point. I'm actually starting to just skim over their bickering as it's just the same stuff over and over and over again. It's dull and repetitive I find and I just wish you would start developing other characters instead of spending so much time on this when nothing really changes. Yeah she could become a strange kind of friend but honestly I hope that's it for this character because I'd much rather see him interact with others who barely have had a chance in this story to meet and get to know him.
Take the chapter coming up, Twilight taking him to meet her parents for instance would be nice as you get to flesh them out in this story. Hell you can make a joke of her parents commenting that they always wondered if she would bring a stallion home but didn't expect it to be an unknown species to her embarrassment. Maybe reconnecting with Moondancer and others earlier but honestly something like that would take a full chapter in of itself as it's not something that can just be fixed since it did take a full episode to do.
I don't even remember what he promised Pinkie at the end of this chapter.
I had to go search old chapters to re-read what Pinkie Promise he'd broken. I suppose I can forgive myself for forgetting that detail since the story hadn't updated in 20,000 years... or 7,000, or whatever large period of time. Jokes aside, hope things are going better for you and that this is a sign of such. The chapter is pretty upbeat so here's hoping that's a reflection.
Anywho, good to see the continuation here; the interactions are getting smoother while still retaining that sparkle (hah) of dry, occasionally awkward humor that gives this fic distinction. Funny how Rainbow can shamelessly mess with Derren but gets embarrassed about Rarity's... toys... There's a story I want to hear more than the fire tornado (though not by much, that does sound hilarious).
See ya in the next go 'round.
I don't know, Applejack got away with just apologizing so I guess it won't be too bad. Unless you're gonna ramp it up for the lolz.
Crossing fingers for some Moondancer next chapter
7330004 promises to remember, then forgets five minutes later. even i forgot what he promised
Damn it. I'm late.
I was totally supposed to stay awake and leave the obligatory "but when's the clop?" comment that always gets upvoted even though it kinda stopped being funny ages ago.
Seriously though, when is this guy gonna fuck some ponies??
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I love that there is a build up for that kind of thing. I, personally get a kick out of the emotional connection during sex; it makes it so much sweeter. Derren doesn't seem like the kind of guy to enjoy that either.
If I were Derren, I would abuse that empathic communication with Faran to have private talks; like he did during the party. Seems like an easy way to close the 'already close' gap between the two. I feel like it will become a thing between them.
Faran doesn't seem to know how to act around Derren. It's cute to watch her. She seems to hide her thoughts behind her job and her persona. I think she's starting to like him and that makes me happy.
Keep up the good work, mate. I love this story.
7331043 While I wouldn't go so far as to say I don't like Faran, I definitely agree that she is taking over the story a bit. It made sense for her to have a major part earlier when he needed a nurse hovering over him, but it is definitely starting to get to the point where she is overshadowing everyone else for no discernible reason. The obvious example in this chapter is the lunch with Lyra and Raindrops which felt fairly inconsequential in spite of the fact that they are supposed to be major characters, although part of that was admittedly the major shift in his relationship with Rainbow Dash when he found out about her relationship with Rarity. I would like to see Twilight and her Canterlot friends play a big part in the next chapter without Faran's presence and for her to take a supporting role to Dr. Silverclaw on the medical side of things to help fix this, although she will be important to the plot until the crew returns to Ponyville.
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I understand your concerns about Faran, and I already had plans both for her to fade into the background for a while after the return to Ponyville, and for Lyra and Raindrops to earn their places as main characters. I also have plans for her to get some serious character development (plans that have been in place ever since she was elevated from her originally planned cameo role), especially in regards to her attitude towards Derren. She's not a flat character, believe me. She has reasons for what she does, and Derren's presence is going to change her in ways she never expected.
Despite being over 100K words in, we still have a long way to go before the story ends, so don't be so hasty to consign her to the Scrappy heap. She may surprise you yet.
7334405 Well I hope so honestly at this point I really wouldn't mind seeing other characters in this as you seem to just stick with a small number. Will any of the other main characters from the show or other background ponies show up for instance? I don't think he's gotten to know much in the way of Twilight's friends other than Dash which is weird given how close she is to all of them and he should try to make friends as well. Which I was thankful for Lyra but yeah Faran is just...meh to me at the moment. I honestly wouldn't miss her at this point in the story and her fading away for some time might be nice.
Maybe in the Canterlot chapter you can have her hang out with the doctors there to give a detailed report on her findings while he and Twilight go off on their own for a bit? I'm sure he doesn't need 24/7 looking after at this point in the story does he?
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Faran's actually going to start fading into the background in this next chapter, as beyond her role in the medical exam, she's not important in what happens. That said, there will be two things of significance in the next chapter that will start her down the path towards the dere dere end of the tsundere spectrum (one of which will happen during the exam, while the other will happen at the end of the chapter). To say anything further would cause Rarity to yell "No spoilers!" at me.
Speaking of Rarara, she and the rest of the Mane Six will be having more interaction with Derren once they return to Ponyville. (Hell, Pinkie's accompanying him and Twilight to Canterlot.) I also think I've hinted several times that Cloud Kicker will be making at least one appearance in future chapters. And speaking of the next chapter, Twi's Canterlot friends (minus Lyra) will get much of the focus in a sort-of "earlier than canon" reenactment of the plot of Amending Fences.
7334545 Cool, it sounds like you were already planning on doing exactly what I was thinking of then. Now let's just hope you can pick up the update rate a bit because at this rate the story will take years to write.
It has been a while since a read a chapter of this story and I forgot what promise Derren made for Pinkie.
Can someone refresh my memory please?
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It's back in the first part of Chapter Five. I added the relevant text to the author's note for this chapter.
7337646 thank you
I have a possible explanation for how the Pinkie-Sense works. Space Whale Magic.
We need more of this ASAP, Corporal!
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I'm working on it. I'm probably about halfway through the first of four scenes. (For a loose definition of "scene.")
Pinkie, why must you be like this? Later does not mean tomorrow.
Jesu Christo, did you forget to take your Prozac this morning, Twilight? Because it sure shows when you start going fucking apeshit over nothing.
...Leave the physics stuff to the physicists, Derren. You're clearly not qualified for it.
Funnily enough, those are real. Fire whirls, they're called. It's not that the air catches fire (which would be ridiculous) but rather that burning shit gets caught in a vortex of wind. They are not actually classified as tornados, though.
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You mean, like this guy?
Are souls in your multiverse Fourth Dimensional constructs, thusly giving him the odd flashes of obvious temporal/Multiversal shenanigans, since he had to be moved, and his (currently) mortal mind tries to keep memory of those glimpses repressed for his own sanity, in True Lovecraftian fashion?
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No, there's an entirely different reason for the hallucinations and such. I hadn't thought of giving the "Multiversal shenanigans" a Lovecraftian twist, TBH. It's not really where I intended to go with this story.
i actualy really like the fact you took aspects from different storys on here and blended them together.. i think iv seen atleast 4 story eliments here. it works really well.
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... So how do they know what a plane is?
Youtube autoplay is the best. I laughed my ass of as sound of silence started playing when I reached this part ahahahahaha