Wayward Hearts

by SilverTopHat

Chapter 21 Lesson One: Break Your Mind

Chapter 21

Lesson One: Break Your Mind

OK, ok. The small Texan accent was named Applebloom, squeaky is actually called Sweetiebelle, and the tiny pegasus with the pint sized wings is Scootaloo. I repeated this mantra with little variation as I strive to memorize their names.

The humidity dropped rapidly as the ground below changed from lush forests to the sandy hills of Appaloosa. I made a dome for the Disc and truly made it look like an old movie UFO, written on the side was The Dreaming in gold letters. The landscape blurred beneath us as I sped faster and faster eager to get home to get started on my plans. We followed the train tracks to make sure we went the right way.

Step one, master my Dreaming magic. Step two, make lists of the various types of ponies of this world. Already I could see differences within them, enough to guess at their anatomy and using the knowledge from the week long course I had to get the horsemanship merit badge should help.

Ever since leaving Ponyville I felt better knowing that the debt has been payed off but felt an impeding dread knowing that a being that was capable of moving the sun everyday was looking for me, well at least she doesn't truly know I'm here.

The black mass of clouds hanging low to the ground, lower than the other clouds at least, let me know that making dreams real could be done. I just don't know how I made the jump from fiction to reality. We didn't talk much during the ride, our attention directed inwards. Glitterlamp was feeling happy and wondering about something, probably trying to get a list of what she wants to buy in her head. The town of Appaloosa, still vibrant and strong as ever, held its breath as I descended from the sky and deposited the loot cube in front of our house. Once the loot and Glitterlamp touched the ground the UFO disintegrated into the black sand and even when I grabbed the sand it faded into nothingness within my grasp.

“Alright, where are we going to put what?” I asked trying to visualize the house and where the loot would fit.

“Put the wood into my art room, and everything else I'll figure out once inside.” Glitterlamp said gathering a few item within her levitation aura. I miss my scabbard, carrying a sword around all day isn't as fun as it sounds. OK, it wasn't all day but my hand is tired!

I felt numb. I am growing stronger but putting my mind under hundreds of pounds of load is NOT the way to do it. I barely heard Glitterlamp's passing comments of where the treasure should go. My body didn't receive any damage, none that I could see at least, but sore exhaustion was better than bleeding. I didn't use my hands of course but used my magic, although I have no idea how Glitterlamp made the whole levitation thing look so easy. Displacing gravity in such a way causes me nasty headaches. Indeed it seemed what came easy to her, and every young unicorn in this world apparently, came hard for me. Maybe it was my understanding of science that made it difficult because it would take tons of energy to move that much mass, not to mention defying Newton's laws of motion, wait!!

Ah, CRAP!! That's got to be the reason. No way. I hate it when I'm the most tired and exhausted because it's then that I get an uncanny clarity. I can't do it since I don't believe it can happen, I guess that's the first step in magic mastery: believing that you can do it, but how to break my habit of thinking I can't?

I looked around the sandy area where I had placed the treasure with new understanding and waved Fearbane over it. Levitation is too hard for me, but there are many ways to do things. Black sand poured from the eyes of Fearbane and lifted all the treasure on a rolling black carpet and into the house. This was easy, levitation wasn't. Why was it like that? Probably has to do with how my mind works or some- oh, nice, another note of clarity. I have to train my mind to think impossibly, I mean more so than usual. If I ever get back to earth or, heaven forbid, wake up from this. No, that world is gone! I'm here!

“I'm not going back! NO!” I grabbed my head and shook violently, every muscle convulsing as if it was under attack.

“Dreamer?” Glitterlamp's calm voice caught my attention snapping me out of my attack. “Are you alright?” The tone of her voice was of confused affection.

“Sorry, I, my mind wandered away from me. Thought for a moment that this still could be a dream to wake up from.” I could almost hear a dry hoarse chuckle close by. “Wretched fear monger.” I growled as an after thought.

A green bolt jumped from Glitterlamp's horn about the size of a baseball and disappeared into my forehead and the dry chuckle was cut short. I felt more at ease immediately, normally I would be tormented by my own thoughts but it would fade eventually. She never lets them really run their course so it's probably going to bother me again later, it's a bad idea to ignore problems indefinitely. Then again, I've never hallucinated voices before either. As always, I'll trust her judgment in such things.

“Thanks.” I said with a tired smile. The trip had drained me further than what I first guessed. My head was slowly getting fuzzy as the moments ticked on, but I felt surprisingly well! Kinda like jogging for a while, a good kind of sore but for the mind.

“Go take a bath, I'll handle the sorting, OK?” Glitterlamp told me gently.

“Sure.” I responded still tired and my worries not entirely banished but eased. Glitterlamp took Fearbane in her magic and set it aside. I stepped out from the rising heat of the desert day and into the shade indoors. A hot shower did sound pretty good at the moment, I had this long hair that Glitter gave me to clean. I looked down at Glitterlamp almost for the first time.

She was short. Not any shorter than any other ponies here, except that red behemoth I could almost match heights with, Applebloom's brother I think. No, she was shorter than me by a considerable amount. Standing straight her head only came up to my past my belt line by a couple of inches.

“Perfect height for giving me a gut rip with those fangs.” I thought with near affection blissfully picturing the fangs. Glitterlamp's eyes shot wide open and just shook her head. Of course I couldn't see the fangs but I knew they were there. I felt a little loopy and whenever I felt loopy I say the weirdest things.

“Go bathe, you're always tired when you think like that. Relax, we're home now.” Glitterlamp said smiling chuckling to herself.

“We are home.” I confirmed and smiled. Didn't Trixie at least come up to my elbows? Or was it her hat and hair that made her seem taller? I walked over to the doorway when I made the thought and looked back at Glitterlamp still in her 'Springdew' disguise. I wonder who Springdew was, a friend? Someone important, probably. I tried to remember her as her real form, the one I call Glitterlamp. Her disguise faltered a moment giving me an idea.

“Since she has a direct line to me and can affect my armor, power lines work both ways, right?” I mused and Springdew sensed my mischief and looked to me but when she faced me it was Glitterlamp's face that looked at me as she felt her disguise fall to tatters by my will. All the windows had been drawn but that look of surprise and realization brought a smile to my lips. It wasn't like my dreaming magic but I think it was my psychic power working like that. Sadly I still can't read her thoughts, only emotions. If anything she can read ALL of my thoughts no matter how hectic, she just smiled and nodded at me. Grand.

She just smiled at me and shook her head turning back to sorting the loot.

“I still think it's weird that you like this look better, might take a while to get used to that idea.” Glitterlamp laughed to herself, washing me with warm affectionate waves. I went into the bathroom and bathed myself through thoughtless exhaustion, every action was observed as a separate thought but in the background I could feel something build up. After I deemed myself sufficiently clean with a coarse sponge I stalked up the stairs with one vague notion in my head, a thought wrapped in paper and until I opened it, I can't tell what it is. But it was important, I know it is. Often my subconscious would figure things out before I did and it wasn't until I was half asleep but walking could I figure out the message. I've been ignoring it lately, so the message might be pretty big.

The room we shared already adorned a few of the useless pretty things that I collected from that dark tower. A pile of paper and chewed on pencils is what counts as an art kit for Glitterlamp. She would sketch an image in exquisite detail, nothing at all like Sapphire's skill but it had a certain charm I liked. I took a pencil and paper and started to write a journal, I needed to organize myself and if I didn't do it now I would likely forget it. I felt my body move its fingers while my mind was too numb to form a solid thought.

---

Wings. . . Teeth. . . Horns. . . Claws. . . Eyes. . . Torso. . . Bones. . . Meat.

I was dreaming, there was no other way to describe it. Unless I have become a universal consistent in mind only and the universe decided to mess with me. My shifting life confounded me into a stupor into which I could only watch.

The restaurant that served my entire family along with Trixie, Sapphire, Fritter, Luna, Glitterlamp, but not me! I drooled in desire as shrimp the size of cats littered the table with fizzy drinks dancing from the table, to hands, to deliver the fizzy beverage to thirsty mouths. The aroma was enough to send me in a eating frenzy, all of this was denied to me ever since . . . I can't remember.

Now I was depressing the device mounted to my left arm since I lost my real one in an accident. The horrid green skinned devil roaring some obscene curse spat blood on me as the bullets sang freely through its flesh reducing it to green and red pulp. It used to be elfin, the creature that I sliced cleanly in two the next moment, but the corrupted magic had long since twisted the beast beyond recognition. There was no hate as I ordered the deaths of all these abhorrent creatures only pity, pity that I didn't order this earlier. The three score of grim faced soldiers that followed me aimed at the tide of corruption racing towards us and opened fire. My body, sealed away in another body of iron, was linked to hundreds of life support systems. Wires flowed in and out of the wreckage of my corpse. My real eyes hasn't seen daylight in decades and I've been fighting these things ever since I was ripped in half and partially devoured by these monsters. But that's OK. I've accepted this long ago.

Now everyone was staring at me, I had froze in the middle of the gym after I got hit with a dodge ball. I was in school, and a burly gym teacher was marching at me with anger in his eyes, nostrils flaring, fists clenched. I think I'd rather have that green monster running at me!

“You're out, kid. Now stand over there til I tell you otherwise.” My confused state didn't amuse the teacher. I was small, weak, wheezing and looking up to him, shouldn't I be looking down at him? “We'll talk about your language with the principal.”

The smell of the impossibly sized food was making me almost tap a waiter to ask when mines gonna be done, but I didn't. I have to wait patiently, this was a fancy restaurant and it'll be here. I'll have to wait, but I'll get my food soon. No sooner had I finished the thought and my plate was delivered. It was full of-

The damned green skin bit at my face that wasn't my real face as I crushed his neck with my elbow. I wanted to see the lights drain out of his eyes, we were winning! After nine centuries of killing these freaks and their horrible gods, we would have this planet! Once and for all!

The gym teacher was giving me a spanking as I bawled uselessly.

“It was unfair! I didn't deserve to get spanked! Not by this guy!!”

The plate was loaded with disappointment, three raw, cold french fries, a boiled egg and a shot glass of milk.

“I think I'm going to beat the crap out of the chef, this is a cruel joke and I'm not coming back here again.”

I could do nothing as I shifted from these three scenes, nothing but watch and react. Was I them at one point? Or was I going to become them? Perhaps I was already them and I'm only remembering? A rude school boy, a hardened undying warrior, someone waiting for the promised food that never came? Was I finally falling apart?

“Only if you want to,” a voice sliced through the gun chatter, wailing, and silent disappointment. I was back in the void. My body was shapeless but my will was enough. A cave out of nothing stood before me. Inside I knew exactly what was inside.

“No you don't,” the voice patronized me. It grinded and low cracks like splitting concrete politely but eagerly informed me. It didn't echo, but came from the cave. “I liked that one, the one with the armies clashing. Especially your attention to detail, particularly the violence. We've always had a knack for it.” The grinding voice complimented me. I drifted into the cave to find the source of the voice, my own wouldn't leave me. The creature was using an altered version of my voice, just like Fear-Me. “Getting warmer, I AM using your voice. Or it could be stated that you are using MY voice. Whichever you wanna see it, I don't care.” The voice chuckled, the rumbling was closer now.

I looked around but the cave was to dim, but I definitely tell that some colossal moved in the darkness.

“Here, you've been tip toeing around long enough I think.” A sudden intake and release of breath lit up the whole cave. A dragon with black scales that swirled eternally inward laced with cracked red veins gave it an appearance of being smooth as glass. The red pulsed like a heartbeat, the whole creature was intimidating. Piles of gold carpeted the floor. A cage was built into the side of the cave that would prevent me from getting to it if it wasn't for one thing. The one tiny, simple, life changing, obvious, terrifyingly stupid, one detail not easily overlooked.

It had no door. Bars came from the ceiling and floor but the hole built into it could easily allow something twice its size to pass through.

“Pretty nice isn't it? You have made no defense against me, only because I've never tried to take over. It's fair to say that we never existed until the magic of this Equestria made us so. Or we were always here and only now are you noticing us? Or are you the new one? Again, it's a detail with no satisfying answer therefor, not important. Like we have said 'I think therefor I am' but I think we'll get along.” The dragon continued using his tail to lift me higher, it did this despite the fact that I had no body! “Please, don't just call me 'that dragon' or 'it' anymore although a proper name for me is in order. You already gave one that embodies your fear, anxiety, worries, doubts. You called him Fear-Me. Give me a name,” the tail did not coil around me but coiled to give me something to stand on. “I am made from bits of you, like the rest of us, the pieces to which I grabbed was mostly negative. Hate, anger, violence, wrath, desire but there's been two things that I thought would be important; Logic and Reason. Remember those Timber wolves. And that scooter? That was me. You're welcome, you've already met my friend, Courage.” The deep rumbling wasn't full of malice but patience. His eyes was that of a caring friend that experienced exactly all your problems, he was a piece of me. The one friend that wouldn't give a second thought of tearing off the head of that jackass that used to pick on you, but would ask you exactly when and how you wanted said jackass to die.

The golden version of me appeared right next to me, the golden tendril energy wings and the topaz eyes. He merely nodded at me and looked at, what to call him? Already the naming was close at hand and he shifted with glee in the gold. Well, he's not unstable enough to be called a psycho, and if he works close with Courage. That changes things. The toothy grin filled with sharp tombstone like teeth smiling expectantly at me. Courage placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a thumbs up.

“Ah yes, vocalizing wasn't one of the things he grabbed. Mentioned to me that action spoke louder anyway.” Vengeance said and then slammed his clawed hands together in a way of clapping. “Yes, Vengeance will do nicely! I cannot express my gratitude with simple words.”

Courage wrapped an armored arm around me and mimed cheering, thrusting his fist up and down, generally acting happy. Vengeance settled back down into his piles of gold humming joyfully to himself. Courage leaned up against the ribs of the massive beast and pulled out a pencil and pad.

“Thanks, it's been bothering him for a while not having a name.” The words of the pad said. Ripping out the page and begun scribbling on the new one. The rumbling as I got close enough to read his letters sounded almost as if he was purring! Dragons purred! Or they do in my head it seems. Oh wait, Courage has something I need to read.

“You're already on the way to getting stronger. Just having this conversation means you've already accepted in your heart that the magic is real. That we are real. That those Dreams of yours are reality, there truly is no difference. Maybe when you wake up you just shift to another dream or reality. Just remember,” this was written in bold scratchy letters while the rest was nice and neat scroll like font, “POWER COMES AT A PRICE!” Even though the words were only written, the force of it put terror into me forcing me to flee from the cave. His armor, oh God the armor! And the eyes! They weren't topaz!!

“AAAAAAAAA-

---

“-AAAHHHHHHHHH!” I awoke screaming from the image that burned across my brain. A blanket fell from my shoulders. A reverberating impact and Glitterlamp was at my side immediately trying to figure out what's wrong. My ears were numb and full of cotton, deaf to Glitterlamp's words as her mouth moved.

“A mirror I gotta find a mirror!”

Suddenly I was downstairs staring at my panic stricken face. No injuries showed on it, no bleeding, no bruising, nothing. In fact that's all there was, my face connected to nothing. Black sand slipped through the ceiling and reconstructed my body perfectly, down to the scars on my arms. Glitterlamp sailed into the room magic flaring to hold me still. I was in a cold sweat despite the heat of the room. I couldn't stop shaking, the image, it was-

“I DON'T WANNA REMEMEBER! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME SEE IT AGAIN! NEVER!” I mentally screeched pushing away anything that touched me. Something muffled my panic and it was slowly going away. Calm flooded my mind and veins making my knees weak and staring at the thing that made it all stop, the static of panic receded, my breathing steadied itself, I lowered myself to the ground so the sudden vertigo that held me now made me fall, I looked at what was helping me out. Glitterlamp waving Fearbane around, while Fearbane sucked out all the bad.

“T-thanks,” I coughed feeling my sore throat sting at me. I stretched out my arms towards Glitterlamp and Fearbane fell to the floor as she stepped forward and to hug me.

“What happened?!” Glitterlamp asked intensively and I all I could do was breathe and hold onto something familiar, everything looked different now. Like a film of fuzz got peeled away and you could every detail.

---

“What happened?” Glitterlamp in her 'Springdew' costume asked quietly after she made a hot herb drink. My throat was ripped apart and speaking was a chore, it hurt so bad. Braeburn was here too, apparently he heard it all the way from the orchard. The sheriff was here too, looking at me as if I was about to blow again.

“I fought, demons and paid the, p-price.” I stuttered holding my throbbing headache. The Alicorn Amulet was around her neck and even then I wasn't sure if it would be enough. I felt calm enough, but I did feel so ashamed for crying out like that, it wasn't like me to scream. For bringing these people in my house, maybe if I had just curled up and had a nice quiet heart attack in my sleep. It would be better than- a sharp stab went through my head as the sheriff spoke gruffly but LOUDLY.

“What do you mean 'demons' son? Some potion you've been takin?!” He said and I flinched at the noise.

“Sheriff, I've known him for only a little while but he's a good sort, a little strange but not dangerous.” Braeburn said, good friendly, smiling Braeburn. Of course he was frowning with worry, the fact that it was over me was a little much.

“I'll decide that.” The sheriff said sharply.

“Of c-course I'm, dangerous.” I admitted softly flexing my hands. “But why would I need to h-hurt?” The words only puzzled the sheriff and made him scowl harder at me but he had no magic horn. Not a threat.

“He had a bad dream, sheriff, everypony gets bad dreams.” Glitterlamp/Springdew said outraged by all of this. “I don't see why you need to be involved at all!” The sheriff puffed himself up mustache twitching.

“These are strange times, this is my town, I'm responsible for everypony here.” He said very formally. “This isn't Canterlot where such things can be overlooked. Why did you think he had a bad dream then, miss Springdew?” He asked but I could feel the acid against my skin.

“Why does that matter, he's fine now!” Springdew snapped. She did not like this guy, and since Glitterlamp said she was from Canterlot the sheriff didn't like city folk, maybe. Well damn, I guess even small versus big city exists even here. “It's not like his bad dreams mean anything!”

“The Seekers said that 'bad dreams' that awake up screaming are signs of distress from Changeling influences!” The sheriff said smoothly with a sly grin. “Wanna be put to the test? It's quite harmless really, I've already been through it. All they do is wave a talisman over you.” The way he said it made my skin crawl.

“Shut up.” I snarled.

“All you have to do is ask and I'll rend this fool in half!” I thought to Glitterlamp not liking where his tone is going. Glitterlamp sent me some feeling that roughly translated into a reluctant 'no' but considering my offer.

“What?” The sheriff demanded tearing his eyes from Glitterlamp. I returned the glare and took a sip.

“I said shut up. You are adding to my headache, and if stitching your lips shut is the way to do it, so be it.” I snarled weakly sipping on my drink. The warm drink softened the scratched within my throat.

“Sir? Everypony has been under a lot of stress. The Seeker's investigations scared everypony, maybe this is the stress getting out of hoof.” Braeburn said trying to defuse the situation. The sheriff thought about it then grunted and finally left. Everyone let out a sigh then turned to me suddenly.

“Something on your mind partner?” Braeburn asked in such a way that wasn't threatening but left no room for anything but the truth. I stared down into my drink and thought carefully about what happened. Apparently Glitterlamp doesn't even know the details of it all. Good, no one should.

“When should I arrive for work, if I still have a job that is.” I asked weakly, damn this sore throat.

“No way partner, we ain't talking about that. What's going on? Nopony or anything just wakes up screaming like you did.” Braeburn was suddenly forceful in the way he talked, he cared about me, like this wasn't a manager and employee situation. The look in his eyes screamed that he wanted to help, to be involved, to support.

“Unicorn magic, you know what's it like?” I asked trying to drink out of my glass and realized it's empty.

“Not sure if I follow.” Then shock fell over his eyes. “Are you saying a unicorn did this to you!?”

“No, no. I meant that unicorns have magic. I'm a human, I'm not supposed to have magic where I'm from. That only existed in books. Even then, unicorns understand their magic. I don't, so I'm getting hurt by not knowing enough about my magic.” I stated and cupped my hand out and black sand shaped itself and filled into an orb, surprisingly easy to call it out now. What changed? “It looks real, doesn't it?” I asked turning it over in my hand. “It's not. Or at least I didn't think it was, I'm not sure anymore, it might be.” I stared at it for a few moments and poured the sand into my empty glass and wanted hot cocoa. Instantly the sand turned into what I wanted and the flavor was great, it had weight, smell, flavor, I could see it. Why shouldn't it be real? I thought I was over the whole 'what if this is a dream' thing.

“Partner, I don't know who put those thoughts in yer head. C`mere.” He led me to the window and pointed up. “See those clouds?” I nodded seeing it rain again only over the orchard. “Those are real. Flight teams can't touch it, but it's real.” He nodded and said critically. “I may not understand why it's real. But it's real, the rain that it gives certainly is. I think you're over thinking it. Don't come into work for a few days,” I frowned and Braeburn added quickly. “You look bone tired! I'm not saying you're fired but you look like you need some rest. You'll have to tell me about your trip later, maybe. Get some rest, adventuring is tough work after all! See ya later!” Braeburn's old happy go lucky mood was back and he left. Now the only things here was me; weary, confused, sore, and wanting so very much to talk to Glitterlamp privately. And there was Glitterlamp, calm, caring, warm Glitterlamp. Someone I could always trust and count on. I looked at the half empty cup of cocoa in my hands, it was still there and I drained the rest of it's cool creamy contents.

“Braeburn is right, my magic IS real.”

I turned to look at Glitterlamp and tried not to tremble too badly, I was still pretty bone tired. I could feel Glitterlamp's sturdy presence on my mind, like a pillar of stone, reliable, dependable, strong. What am I now? I feel cracked, splintered, fragile, scared, weak. But I don't know why!! I didn't go to sleep like this! I should be happy! I found my love, a place to live, magic flowing through me, a job with a great guy, proven my strength time and time again!

“Then WHAT the HELL is wrong with ME!” I scolded myself. Then I met Glitterlamp's eyes.

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you.” Glitterlamp assured firmly shifting back into her real form. “I don't know why you talk to yourself like that. I think something startled you, sit down I'll make another batch of my special drink.”

Glitterlamp's eyes were soft but concerned and certainly won't let this problem rest. She poured another cup of this herb drink for both of us and just sat for a while in calm quiet. The drink was a dozen muted flavors that mingled pleasantly in my mouth and unwound the tightness within my guts. The only thing that I could think of that I had done wrong was awaken screaming.

“Did I do, something wrong? Why was the, sheriff so cross?” I asked after my first cup. Glitterlamp poured me another glass and shrugged.

“Nothing at all.” Glitterlamp said shaking her head and smiling. “After all you've been through, I would think is weird if you didn't have nightmares.”

“Then why did they freak out?” I asked confused.

“Dreams are often seen as omens, and often they're true. But since you're a Dreamer, I don't think it means the same thing.” Glitterlamp said sipping on her herb drink. “This is my favorite drink, back in Canterlot I drank it everyday.” Glitterlamp said as if it was only natural. “It's a calming drink. Soothes the mind and body.” Then she looked at me trying to see the core of the problem. “One minute you're fuzzy and sleepy which is kinda cute, I like that feeling. Then when I just put everything away the fuzzy is gone and you felt like a large pile of broken glass. Worse, when I concentrated on you it hurt as if shoving my face in the broken glass. You're still kinda hard to read, too much noise in your head. What happened?” Glitterlamp asked me and those green eyes are very hard to refuse. But I didn't know how to convey it exactly, should I say I now have schizophrenia? Split personalities!?

I opened my mouth several times but nothing came to mind on how to tell her what it was. She patiently waited like she did this before.

“I had a nightmare. The worst one I've ever had.” I started hoping to get the severity across. How to tell her the stupid fear I had and the conversations without convincing her that I am indeed insane? She stretched her hoof out across the table and I held her hoof. The gesture felt incomplete, I wanted my hand to be held back but she didn't have fingers to hold with. I shifted my seat closer to her and I touched my forehead to her horn and let mind embrace mind. “Love you.” I said wrapping an arm around her.

“I love you too, Dreamer.” Glitterlamp leaned into me and felt confused for a moment then determined.

“What's wrong?” I asked feeling the changes.

“I think you will want to see this.” Was her remark then we both ascended the steps. The door had been ripped from the hinges and the room was that of organized chaos. Pictures of every type of pony I knew was tacked to the walls, Earth pony, pegasus, unicorn, Alicorn, and Changeling. On every single picture was a breakdown of physical ability and magical talent. The hastily written script that was with no doubt my own hand writing listed possible weakness' and strengths. Long sheets of analysis decorated the walls, some sheets had detailing specific attributes to each pony type and how to counter act them.

“I was hoping you could explain all of this to me, but you don't seem to remember doing it.” She said concern heavy in her voice as she gestured around the madman's art museum. Weapon ideas littered the floor next to armor and monster designs. “When I checked on you, you were doing this.” She handed me a pile of papers full of nice coherent writing that was my journal. The second pile was an outline to plans; adding furniture, learning how to carve wood, paint the walls a new color in the bedroom, all sensible plans there was even Glitterlamp's Equestrian letters mixed in to put her ideas. “We even planned a way on how to get you more used to your magic. Then I left to put the last things away since you fell asleep at the desk.”Glitterlamp sighed and looked around at the mess. “And next I know, you locked the door for some reason and put the bed against it! I came in when I heard you scream! That's what got everypony's attention around here.” Glitterlamp explained to me and I stood looking at the tacked up room that I apparently made. The weapons and armor designs all had Lesson Three written at the top.

I had nothing to say to this, I only vaguely remember picking a pencil up and began to write something but not all of this. The scary thing was it wasn't a madman's writings, it was that of clear thinking. A sensible training was graphed and at which stages I should progress. The title of the first lesson was to-

“Glitterlamp you can't read this, can you?”

“You were very reluctant for reading some parts and you wouldn't give it to me so I could decode it with the alphabets we made today.” Glitterlamp said a little irritated but then wanting to know what it said. “Read it, what's the underlined words say.” I wasn't shaking but my voice wavered.

“Lesson one: Break My Mind, don't let Glitterlamp be in the same room. Then inflict a deep slumber unto yourself and the key to wake up is to have a nightmare. While sleeping find out if there are others like Fear-Me and deal with them accordingly.” The image adorning the page was me half fallen apart into sand and the flows of sand held smaller objects, dreams? One was food, another was green skins, another was a school.

“You didn't say anything like that before!” Glitterlamp said darkly. A tear, followed by more, ran down her face. “Why would you do that to yourself!?” I looked frantically through the pages to see if I left a note to explain why. There wasn't one. I was on my own for this. I looked up and behind her was three faces drawn onto paper. Fear-Me, a disgusting corpse mockery of me with needle teeth gazed open mouthed as if to eat the viewer. Courage, a tall armored knight that I resembled when I have my armor on standing at attention. The last picture was Vengeance a fierce dragon patiently waiting on his pile of gold smiling to himself with burning eyes. All of them tacked to the wall above my bed with four pages each with different hand writing on each.

“Them, I mean that's them! The ones I talked to!” I said pointing to the pictures. Glitterlamp looked at the pictures, oddly enough I did write those in Equestrian text. Courage's was very scroll-like and elegant, Fear-Me was like blood running down the page, Vengeance was thick, bold and hard to miss. I couldn't read them, not as fast as Glitterlamp could.

On Fear's I saw the word Sombra appear frequently, Courage had Fearbane written a couple of times, and Vengeance was tied with Courage and Fearbane with the word 'protect' several times.

“Oh dear Luna,” Glitterlamp breathed in. “You found them alright, these are their words. 'Fear-Me is what's left of Sombra's malice in you. But the other two keep him at bay,' whoa. You've been having the King Sombra torment your dreams,” Glitterlamp stared at me wide eyed with, admiration? “And you make him struggle just to remain in your head.” Then she read a line a couple times then laughed uncontrollably. “What, why are you scared of Celestia for??” Glitterlamp got out from between her fits of laughter. I felt the tips of my ears burn at the scornful laughter, okay probably not scornful but I think it's serious!

“Have you any idea how powerful Celestia has to be to move the sun! I mean do you have any idea what the Hell the sun is!” I demanded not liking her laughing at me.

“Is that what's got you so worked up? Queen Chrysalis was able to over power her easily! I only said to be careful of Twilight! Not Celestia! The only thing she might do to you is banish you, before you that was a terrible thing to me, now? It's no biggie at all, do you even know how strong you are!?” Glitterlamp demanded right back but without all the venom an acid I put into mine. She was almost friendly about it, like finding out that the creepy scratches in your house was just your dog pacing about. Except magnify it by about thirty.

“I can't move the sun!” I protested already losing my ground to argue.

“And why would you? Oh, come here worrywart.” Glitterlamp laughed stood on her hind legs and stretched her hooves out for a hug. I just gritted my teeth. “C`mon don't leave me hanging.” Glitterlamp encouraged. The tension from Glitterlamp was gone and most of her worries, I guess the problem she thought I had was much worse. I knelt down and gave her a hug, her hooves wrapped around my neck.

“Still doesn't change anything, I'm still concerned, for me and for you.” I confessed quietly.

“Normally I have to be careful when I feed on other pony's love, they tend to wither. If anything you've been getting stronger ever since I met you. Nothing can bring you down,” She nuzzled me and added. “Just like the Dreamers in the stories, they had certain things they had to overcome. And like how you said, 'some people dance better with their demons'. Hey I know, you and me, alone, let's go dancing!”

“I'll mess it up again.” I said with a smile.

“I wanna see you try.” A wider grin challenged me. “Just promise me one thing,” Glitterlamp said squeezing me tightly.

“Just one?” I replied.

“Don't do anything like that alone again.” Her tone was serious and full of love, I think I'm going to burst.

“I promise.”

Comments

[Luna is back]

Ah, CRAP!! That's got to be the reason. No way. I hate it when I'm the most tired and exhausted because it's then that I get an uncanny clarity. I can't do it since I don't believe it can happen, I guess that's the first step in magic mastery: believing that you can do it, but how to break my habit of thinking I can't?

Welcome back to the Matrix Neo...