Locks key

by Locks key

The dreaded Hive

Yay!!!! I was finally going to see the guards again!!! They are the best!!!! Funny and optomistic like me. A true gem if you ask me. Soon I'll be able to rule the hive as their true changling queen. I'll do an even better job then Chrysalis. How dare she attack harmless ponies. Though the plan was pretty well thought out. Except sending Twilight in the same prison as the princess of love and stupidity Cadance.

"Hey, Loxy where ya been?" Asked the jerk Buzz.
"Back off buster." I snarled.
"Well feisty taday aren't we." He asked imatating an Irish pony.
I can't believe you're Bumbles twin. He's nothing like you. Why so angry babe?Get out of my train of thought or so help me I'll kill you!!!!! You already have.Mooom!Help!!!! Buzz is envading my thoughts again!!!!! Not now honey Mommas busy.Arghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Note:

Sorry. I know this chap is a little short but overall it's great right. We now have a new character to look forward to in future writings. He sure is easy to work with.
So yeah. As you can see Buzz is Locks keys sworn enemy. Why? I'll male a story about that. Maybe. It could be called Buzzing up trouble. Got any ideas on a title I would love to hear. P.s for some reason he remainds me of Babs Seed

Comments

[Tennis Match Fan]

Yay!!!! I was finally going to see the guards again!!! They are the best!!!! Funny and optomistic like me. A true gem if you ask me.

Yay! I was finally going to see the guards again! They're the best! Funny and optimistic, like me. A true gem, if you ask me.

Try to only use one exclamation point, no matter how excited you are!

"Hey, Loxy where ya been?" Asked the jerk Buzz.
"Back off buster." I snarled.
"Well feisty taday aren't we." He asked imatating an Irish pony.

"Hey, Loxy, where ya been?" asked the jerk Buzz.

"Back off, buster!" I snarled.

"Feisty today, aren't we?" he asked, imitating an Irish pony.

Add those couple commas, decapitalize "he" and "asked" and your story will look much better!