Because everyone makes mistakes:

“Yesss…” Shining murmured as he untangled himself from his wife’s embrace. “I should go deal with the… Griffon thingie.” He chuckled. “I’m just glad you’re not our ambassador,” He looked over his shoulder. “Griffons have a certain… air about them. Calling the ambassador’s visit a “thingie” would probably start a war.”

I'm fairly certain there's a dialogue change in this paragraph. It needs a new paragraph.

It shows certain promise. I'm assuming TwiDance. I approve. To the point I'd like to offer my services as an editor, prereader, and amorological advisor to your story.

Sounds interesting. For the moment will add this to read later.

Hmm... I'll give this story a chance... It might take me a while to get around to it but i'll get to eventually... Curenly i'm in an all out war over the next chapter to my story Unseeing Eyes so forgive me if it's like a week or more (Also please forgive the shameless self promotion )! So... Read you when I read you!

5695353 Yes, there will be TwiDance aplenty. However, I'm a bit confused as to where you see the dialogue change? There isn't one, but I'd like to know where you see it. Feel free to send me a PM, should you so desire.

As for being an editor... Well, I could always use one. Especially when I'm a bit low on self-confidence and pretty sure my work is full of errors. We can talk about that in a PM too.

And I'm glad you approve!

5695401 Well, I'm actually off to bed right now. So I'll take a looksie tomorrow, probably after my classes. I look forward to your input, even if it is a week later!

5695380 As I said to the above, I do look forward to hearing your input, should you so deign to give it. I'm glad you at least think it sounds interesting. I struggled with the idea for a long time.

This was interesting indeed.

I am going to love this. A lot XD

She laughed. She lit her horn, and Shining felt the telltale touch of magic on his mind. “That should take care of it.” The magic retreated back into the princess’ horn, but before Shining could question, she had already galloped away, back toward her carriage

What the fuck did celestia do to shinings mind? I saw what she did there.
*groans* Don't tell me that celestia fucked everything up

5695417 if Shining is the one calling the ambassador the "Griffon Thingie", why is he expressing a theoretical concern if Cadence was the ambassador?

I also added your story to several groups to reach a broader audience.

If you'd really like it, I'd be happy to reserve a service slot for you.

5695479

“It’s getting late,” Cadance said, looking out the window toward the dipping sun. “You’ve got to go deal with your Griffon thingie.”

This line was directly prior to Shining calling it a griffon thingie.

Also, I suppose I'll send you a PM of the next chapter upon its completion?

5695479
5695525
My guess is that it's actually Chrysalis disguised as Celestia. She wants to switch out his guards for her Changelings and ruin his marriage to push a wedge between Cadance and Shining Armor.

Celestia’s eyes seemed to glow for a mere moment.

That's not Celestiaaaaaaaaa!

5695525 I will have you know that I read a chapter at least three times while editing so I don't miss things like that. Sounds good, your service slot is reserved at number three.

Honestly... I kind of want to read this, but at the same time I fear that Shining Armor is going to get the short end of the stick, because he often seems to in TwiDance stories...

5696844 Well, I can honestly say that while Shining Armour and Cadance will probably break up due to this... thing... His story will end well. Not well with Cadance, but I don't give my ponies sad endings.

5699042
Well there's no evidence it's definitely going to go wrong, and no reason to doubt that you intend to give all your characters a happy ending... but I will say the central concept is that the Alicorn of Love rejects Shining Armor over something (as to yet unrevealed) and then moves on with his little sister instead.

Pulling Shining Armor out of that pit of self-esteem obliteration satisfactorily is going to be a challenge. So, if you've got a good plan for an outcome for him, I'm looking forward to it.

and the manipulative bitch they call 'Princess' makes an appearance, and shows her true colors so early in the game. stupid power drunk whore.

Rings false.

Shining Armor just recently had an experience with impostor using mind magic.

Now Celestia is acting weird and using mind magic on him? He should`ve raised an alarm just for that, not mull over the "guard assignments".

wow these comments you can really feel th love and tolerance

5706529 The love is real up in here :D

5695417 *Finishes Reading Chapter 1 Does Double Take at The End*

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...
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Yeah shit's going to hit the fan explosively... Excuse me while I go prepare my stabbing pillow... Also will you be needing SA after the story is over? Something tells me that he's going to need an introduction to one of my specially patent Gender swapping Potions and a rather rude machine that I discovered while perusing New Grounds' Adult section.

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d0/63/95/d063957a0fd768f266e34fe45a764c38.jpg

5699850 you...didn't look at the character tags did you? I mean...seriously. this should be obvious.

Are we having a case of bitchlestia here?