"A man chooses. A slave obeys."
―Andrew Ryan
A tense stand off began between the six most powerful and legendary heroes in all of Equestria and Subject Alpha. For what felt like several minutes the only sound that broke the silence of the stare down was a deep growl emanating from the tan behemoth.
Eventually though Twilight broke the tense silence. "Rainbow Dash, are you okay?"
The usually talkative cyan pegasus was still watching her life flash before her eyes. "What!? Uhh...Y-yeah." She shook herself out of her trance, and slowly got up wincing as she put pressure on her back leg that had been pinned to the ground. "I've had worse crashes.... Just not many..."
Nodding, Twilight turned her attention to the orange and purple foal being pressed against the metal and leather titan. "Scootaloo, how about you? Has it hurt you?"
Scootaloo shook her head. "Nah, my dad would never hurt me." Everypony's eyes nearly popped out of their heads.
"Scoots... You mind running that by me again?" Rainbow dash asked after picking her jaw up from the ground.
"Well... Last night I saw a shooting star... And... I don't have a family.... So.... I wished I had a dad, then he fell out of the sky, and saved me from timberwolves.... And yeah..." Scootaloo explained.
Twilight facehoofed. "Scootaloo that doesn't make any sense!"
"Well neither does Pinkie Pie, but nopony questions her!" The filly retorted.
Twilight gave a silent touché, and tried to think of what to do next. "Can you get him to calm down and come with us to my castle? I don't want to freak any pony else out, and I want to do some tests on...him."
Subject Alpha pressed the small Pegasus even tighter against his chest. "I don't think he wants to..." Scootaloo replied.
A few moments of silence passed as a plan formed in the purple alicorn's head. "Fluttershy. Can you try to calm him down?"
The yellow Pegasus gave a look of 'why me' before nodding. "S-sure... I'll try." She answered, and very slowly walked towards the giant. She stopped a few feet short of the towering beast and spoke in a kind, gentle voice. "Hello, Scootaloo's daddy. If you would be so kind... Could you come with us. That is, if you wa-" the rest of her words were cut short when Subject Alpha placed Scootaloo down and brought his helmet right up to her face. Every pony watched in terror not knowing what to do, and then Fluttershy did the unthinkable. She gave him the stare. For several tense seconds everypony held their breath.
"DING!"
Subject Alpha's helmet changed from red to bright green. His form visibly relaxed and he stood up tall tilting his head questionably at Fluttershy.
Pinkie broke the awkward silence that followed. "Did it work!?"
"I-i think so..." Fluttershy replied hesitantly. "Uh... Could you, follow me Mr. Scootaloo's dad, If you don't mind?" Subject Alpha nodded, and the very awkward trip to Twilight's castle went off without a hitch.
Phials by Flimflam bros.
Presents
"Stare Down"
Control your enemies and get them to work for you. Make eye contact and even the most powerful of beasts will be under your control. Maintain eye contact for prolonged control."Why let Unicorns have all the fun?"
HAH XD
5408012 Only Infinite? My condolences, The Other two were SO much better, especially story-wise.
So Adam gets replaces by pony abilities? Interesting.
Haven't played any of the Bioshock games, but have seen art of the Big Daddies...and the idea of one of those as Scootaloo's Dad is hilarious. Gonna be tracking.
However...could you possibly get an editor? There are numerous errors - spelling and grammar - in each chapter that detract from the story.
You mudda asshole! Make the chapters longer dammit!
Wow he obtained Fluttershy's stare... SHIT IS GONNA GO DOWN SOON!
5479012
Yes
>Ponyfied
...Pass.
Sounded good though.
Wow, that fast? not like i using control mind.
So Fluttershy has a hypnosis plasmid, that is actually very clever. Not sure why Alpha was getting angry by Fluttershys request? Words don't really affect them. As long as they don't try to hurt him or their Little Sisters, Big Daddies tend to leave anyone alone.
5479078 unless you stand in their path or walk up to them.
5479086
Been awhile since playing. If I remember, if you get too close they knock you back but that's about it.
5479090 either way its smart to give them their space
Too tired now, will read later. Cross my heart
5479078 its not that fluttershy had a mind controll plasmid. its that he is unaffected and fucking confused at my she is staring at him like that
This is AMAZING so far! Can't wait for the rest!
puu.sh/eeCvV/9b9c940c31.jpg
I'll be willing to lend my editorial talents to this. This is amazing and needs to be made perfect, or as close to as anything in this world can get.
Previous paragraph had stated his light was red. Please correct one or the other. Thank you.
Giving it a like for the concept and the humor. I think it would benefit from being longer and given more time to progress naturally. I am willing however to correct some issues I noticed within your first few chapters, if you'd like.
5479482
Oh looks like you beat me to it.
5480083
Needs all the eyes it can get.
I could see an old time movie projector popping up and playing a short film with a pony drinking a phial now.
This seems promising. Please continue.
must have MOAR
5480446
5480083
Yeah I need lots of help... For some reason I can't get an editor if someone died and willed one to me.
5482043
Okay, it's no problem. I'll see if I can clear up your first 6 chapters of any typos or grammatical errors. I'll try to keep the story's overall integrity intact. Keep in mind that I am not a professional just someone who enjoys English. I'll PM you with the details tomorrow.
5482043
5482131
I'll come along behind DTP after they're done, and look at phrasing / language.
You should actually make a googledocs page for this, and we'll do it through there.
Because it makes sense that pinky wouldnt make sense
Changelings