Jargön pt 2
Twilight and Rarity sat in the library, a magnifying glass floating in front of them as they slowly read through the instructions. Behind them, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash lazed in their respective chairs, listening as Twilight narrated her progress.
“Okay,” she read slowly, scanning down the page through the magnifying lense, “this section seems to mostly be about her dietary requirements. It looks like a normal nutritional chart, except the names of the vitamins are all mixed up. They just have numbers. It says that orange juice is an excellent source of ‘Vitamin 7’ and that if it... if she detects a deficiency, she’ll automatically seek out the nearest source of citrus fruits.”
The first half of the instructions had proven useless. Labeled “Assembly,” it was little more than a breakdown of Jargön’s anatomy. At first, Twilight had been hopeful it might explain what she was, but a careful inspection of it had shown nothing out of the ordinary for a unicorn mare of her size, save that her flesh, bones, and organs apparently snapped together like children’s blocks. The second half of the document, the “Operation Instructions,” was potentially more promising, though it replaced the friendly diagrams with huge blocks of dense, tiny text.
“Oh goodness, there’s a paragraph about eating meat,” Rarity said, prompting a side-glance from Twilight. “There, at the end of the page. Two paragraphs down from where you are. It says she’s technically omnivorous but it will make her sick.”
“That’s true for most ponies,” Twilight said slowly, scanning to the end of the page. “I don’t know how you read this stuff without the glass.”
“So she’s probably not a zombie. Big whoop,” Rainbow grumbled, spreading out her forelegs as she lay sideways in her chair, her belly turned up towards the ceiling. “Get to the part where her freaking leg comes off.”
“I’m reading through this from beginning to end, Rainbow Dash. I don’t want to miss anything,” Twilight said firmly, turning the page in front of her and Rarity. “And, I’m not sure the instructions will explain that anyway. The way the first half was written, it seems to assume we basically already know how that works.”
“And that we own an allen wrench!” Pinkie Pie added quickly.
“Yeah, that’s actually the part that freaks me out the most,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling over in her chair. “Like, when she pulls her leg off. I can hear metal parts turning, but there’s no metal in her leg. And did you see the dumb look she gave me when I asked what the allen wrench was for? She looked like I’d just asked her how to open a door.”
“I think it’s clear that that’s magic,” Twilight answered, firmly. “Whatever spell lets her pull her limbs off and put them back on must produce the sound of turning screws. You know, like how my beam spells make a loud whine. It’s just a special effect.”
“Unless there actually are screws and she’s just the only one who can see them,” Pinkie Pie added brightly. In the long silence that followed, Rainbow Dash grimaced and rolled over in her chair, as Twilight and Rarity focused more intently on the page. Pinkie’s ears slowly folded back. “Um. I mean, it just came to mind.”
“Let’s... try not to think about it too much until we know more,” Twilight said quickly. “This section seems to be her... five year service contract? It says it covers injury, dismemberment, disease, traumatic stress...”
“Over here, on the next page,” Rarity pointed, already a page and a half ahead of Twilight. “It’s a features list. It has her vocal range. A list of skills.” Rarity’s eyes narrowed. “Broken down by category. She’s certified to act as an accountant. She can cut hair. I see a long list of cooking related skills. Goodness. It says she has the equivalent of four degrees?”
“Slow down, I’m not there yet,” Twilight said, swinging her magnifying glass down. “Literature, Mathematics, Philosophy, and Communications? But what’s a, ‘B.Q.’ degree?”
“I’m not sure,” Rarity admitted, “The entertainment section is confusing as well. I recognize some of this, but a lot of the names are—oh my goodness!” Rarity’s hoof flew to her mouth, and her ears shot up on end.
“What? What is it?” Rainbow Dash asked, sitting up sharply in her chair. Pinkie Pie did the same, both watching as Twilight followed Rarity’s gaze to where she urgently pointed at the page.
“Entertainment...” Twilight read, eyes narrowed. “It has a bunch of sub-bullets. Dancing and singing and... oh wow.” Twilight swallowed, and licked her suddenly dry lips. “It says she’s memorized the Kama Sutra.”
“That’s messed up,” Rainbow Dash turned away scrunched her wings up against her side, her muzzle curling back. Even Pinkie Pie’s ears folded back, and she lowered her head to stare at the ground.
“There’s a footnote.” Twilight read aloud, “‘Kamprad Pony Emporium not responsible for the final quality or functionality of any ponies you may use your Jargön unit to produce.’” A weak half laughed escaped Twilight, and she turned to stare blankly at the bookshelves. “So she’s not sterile then.”
“I think that’s enough of this for now,” Rarity said firmly, inserting a bookmark into the instructions, and then shutting them. “Twilight, I think it’s become abundantly clear that whatever... creature did this to poor Jargön, is monstrously evil and must be stopped. Maybe we should focus our efforts there instead?”
“I don’t know what we can do, Rarity,” Twilight admitted, “Spike should be back soon, and even if he didn’t find anything, Celestia might know something. But until then... I don’t even know how we’d start to find it.”
“We could try questioning Jargön again?” Rarity suggested. “The poor dear is obviously very confused, but she might know more than she realizes. Maybe something that gives away a name, or a location?”
“Face it, Rarity,” Rainbow Dash snapped. “Whoever did this to her scrambled her brain. She thinks she’s from bizarro universe Equestria or something. She didn’t even know who Princess Celestia was!”
“Assuming they did this to her at all,” Twilight said. When the other three stared at her, she quickly added, “I mean, she’s a victim either way but... at this point, I think we have to at least consider the possibility that she actually was made in a factory. She may look like a pony, but I’m not convinced she actually is one.”
Slowly, Pinkie raised a hoof -- like a foal in class. She waited until Twilight looked her way before she asked, “But I can still throw her a welcome-to-Ponyville-party, right?”
“Right, Pinkie. As soon as she gets back if you like,” Twilight laughed, but paused suddenly, and looked to the door. “Wait, how long has she been gone?” Twilight glanced at the clock. “Fluttershy and Applejack took her to the bathroom forty minutes ago.”
“Something must have happened!” Rainbow shouted. At once, she was in the air, wings beating furiously beside her. “Let’s go see!”
With Rainbow at the head of the group, the four mares raced through Ponyville Palace to the end of the hall. The bathroom there was empty, as were the corridors around it. Rainbow furiously looked in every direction, zipping back and forth before returning to the other three. “They’re gone!” she shouted. “Okay, we need to split up. I’ll go search Ponyville. Twilight and Rarity can search the rest of the palace while—”
“Sorry, sorry!” Jargön’s voice carried up the hall, along with the sound of pounding hooves. She, Fluttershy, and Applejack came into sight around the bed, three large metal trays floating nearby. Jargön’s magic had a distinct yellow tint to it, sparkly but not quite golden. “Fluttershy and Applejack were giving me the tour and we got distracted. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Got distracted by what?” Rainbow demanded, narrowing her eyes as she spread her forehooves. “The whole reason we sent them with you was because we don’t trust you off on your own!”
“I know! I know! They were with me the whole time,” Jargön insisted. “I just felt bad that I was stressing everypony out so much. And Applejack was talking about the palace, and mentioned the troubles Twilight had moving in. That this place has a palace sized kitchen but she and Spike can’t cook so they don’t really know what to do with it? So I made food.” She floated the tray over towards Twilight and the others. “Sorry.”
Twilight and the others looked at the trays, each one covered in a near grid of bite-sized food, each topped with something different. “What...” Rarity spoke first, “are those, exactly?”
“Mini quiches, pecan-raisin micro-tarts, and cheese balls,” Jargön said quickly, her gaze lowered to the ground. “I wasn’t sure what you liked. And I know cheese balls aren’t really proper I was trying to make endives but the bag of nuts in the pantry had gone bad and I didn't’ realize until I was halfway through so I had to improvise. Sorry.”
“You made all that in forty minutes?” Pinkie Pie asked, staring and lifting a hoof to the side of her head.
“More like twenty,” Applejack said, finally stepping up from behind Jargön. “And most of that was waiting for them to come out of the oven. I ain’t never seen a pony work that fast in the kitchen. It was like Pinkie that one time we got sucked into Spike’s comics.”
“I cleaned everything up,” Jargön said quickly. “Spotless. I promise. You can check. Sorry.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry for everything,” Twilight said, gently lowering the trays. “This situation isn’t your fault. You don’t have to try to make it up to me.”
“Oh, I know, you said that,” Jargön said quickly. “It’s just, you don’t really seem to... want me.” She swallowed. “You know. Around. And I hate sitting still. There’s always something to do, right? I’m sure I can find some way to be useful.”
“Right,” Twilight said slowly. Jargön lifted the tray of party food slightly towards Twilight. Twilight pushed it back down. “Jargön, we’ve discussed this. It’s not that I don’t want you around. You seem... very capable. But I can’t own a pony. That’s slavery, and it’s wrong.” Just like before, Jargön answered Twilight with a blank stare. “Don’t you want anything for yourself?”
“Um...” Jargön bit her lip. “Well, I wanted you to like my baking. So, according to some philosophical schools of thought, that could fundamentally be characterized as a selfish impulse. So strictly speaking, in that framework, the only things I want are for myself.” She offered Twilight a stiff smile. “Does that count?”
Rainbow Dash grunted. “Not really.” Jargön’s tail drooped, and she looked off to one side.
“Heh,” Twilight gave a half-laugh, “That’s that B.Q. in Philosophy talking, right?”
“Oh, yeah,” Jargön nodded. “It’s supposed to help make me a more interesting conversationalist.”
“I think that it does,” Fluttershy said, stepping up alongside Jargön. “And don’t worry, Jargön. Twilight likes you. She just... likes you so much she’s having some trouble with it. Like, you know sometimes a pony gets a new toy, and they like it so much they’re terrified of scratching it? So worried about scratching it that having it around actually makes them more stressed?” Her tone was gentle, and soothing, and she rubbed Jargön’s shoulder. “Twilight’s like that right now. She likes you so much that she’s afraid of hurting you by mistake. She just needs a little time, okay?”
“I... I don’t...” Jargön glanced between Fluttershy and Twilight.
“Trust me,” Fluttershy cooed. “Give her a few days and a little distance and she’ll be fine. In fact, why don’t you go to the market with Applejack now? If food in Twilight’s pantry is going bad, she’s probably overdue for a grocery run.”
“Oh, um...” Jargön turned back to Twilight. “With your permission?”
“What? I mean... no!” Twilight shook her head. “Fluttershy, I’m not having her run my errands for me. We need to—”
“Twilight, send Jargön to the market to restock the pantry,” Fluttershy said, her tone suddenly firm as she met Twilight’s eyes. Her glare sharpened when Twilight hesitated, and she added, “Now please.”
“Um...” Twilight looked to Rarity, who nodded. “Okay. Jargön. Please run to the market with Applejack and restock the pantry. Applejack, the petty cash is in the box on top of my dresser.”
“I’ll go with them!” Pinkie Pie volunteered. “We can stop by Sugar Cube Corner. I wanna see this lightning fast baking mojo, and we can bring back some treats for Twilight.”
“Sure,” Applejack said, putting a leg around Jargön. “Come on, Sugarcube. Let’s go.”
“Um...” Jargön looked to AJ, and then back to Twilight. “Okay. If that’s what you want... Twilight.” She lowered the trays of food gently to the floor. “Um... sorry I upset you again. Um. Sorry.”
She turned and left with Pinkie Pie and Applejack. Twilight watched silently until the three of them left the palace, waiting for the distinctive bang of the front door shutting behind them. Then, she whirled, turning to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, what the heck was that!?”
“That was me, trying to make her feel better,” Fluttershy answered. “You kind of messed it up a bit.”
“You told her I just needed time to get used to being her owner!” Twilight snapped. “Yes, I messed that up. I can’t believe you, Fluttershy!”
“For goodness sake, Twilight! She doesn’t understand!” Fluttershy snapped back, her wings parting from her body. “She doesn’t understand why you’d think slavery is wrong. She doesn’t understand where she is. All she knows is that making you happy is the most important thing in the world to her, and that she disgusts you.”
“Yeah, Fluttershy!” Rainbow snapped. “Because she is disgusting. She’s a tinker-toy pony.”
“That’s not her fault, Rainbow!” Fluttershy snapped, rising up into the air and fixing Rainbow with an angry glare. “She’s a good pony who's had something terrible done to her, and I don’t like it when you make that worse!”
“Woah, woah!” Rainbow lifted her hooves. “Sorry. I just... I wasn’t thinking.”
“No, you weren't thinking were you!?” Fluttershy yelled, leaning in close to emphasize her point.
“Fluttershy, dear!” Rarity called from below. “Please, calm down. This has been a disturbing and stressful day for us all. None of us are at our best. But please, you know Rainbow means well. We all do.”
Fluttershy took several long breaths, and then settled back down to the floor. She stomped a hoof once, and then turned away from the others, snorting as she glared at nothing in particular. It took a few moments before she could speak again. “I just...” she started angrily, only for her tone to deflate. “I just really hope there’s something we can do for her.”
“We all do, dear,” Rarity said, reaching a hoof up to rest it on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get back to the library and talk about what to do next.”
“What do we do with the food?” Rainbow Dash asked, gesturing at the three trays that were still scattered on the hallway floor.
“Bring it, I suppose,” Twilight said. “If we leave it here, she’ll know we neglected it. I don’t think I could eat any though.”
“You might as well. It’s really good,” Fluttershy said, with a small shake of her head. “Suit yourself, though.”
It was about an hour later that the doors to the palace swung open. The ponies were still in the library, no closer to reaching any sort of conclusion. The snacks lay untouched, and the last few pages of the instructions had provided no insight into Jargön’s origins, save for a “return address,” in a fictional city. Their ears perked up at the sound of the door, and not long later, the quick pattering of little feet.
“Twilight!” Spike called. “I found something!”
“Spike!” Twilight sat up, rushing to the door to greet him. “You heard from Celestia?”
“Uh... no,” he admitted. “But Mayor Mare knew something! I asked about the store opening thing like you told me to, and she said that six months ago, a company called the Kamprad Pony Emporium sent a lawyer to Ponyville to buy some land on the edge of town and apply for building permit to put a store there.”
“What!?” Twilight immediately looked out the window towards the town hall. “Where?”
“That empty lot by the train station,” Spike said. “But, I checked on the way back. There’s nothing there. It’s just scrub like it always is. And the mayor said she hasn’t seen or heard from them since.” Spike paused. “She uh... she had the lawyer's name on the form.”
“Good!” Twilight said sharply. “Send a letter to Celestia with that information. And another one to Shining Armor directly. If any pony with that name shows their face in Equestria or in the Crystal Empire, I want them arrested. And...” She shook out her body. “And then we can run to the print shop. Put wanted posters of those delivery ponies up around town.”
“You don’t think you’re overreacting a bit, Twilight?” Spike asked, earning a sharp glare. “Okay, okay! Sorry. I’ll get going.”
As Spike ran off, Twilight stormed back into the room, huffing and puffing as she went. Silence followed her, until finally, Rainbow Dash spoke up. “You know there’s an easier way, right?” Everypony in the room looked to her, and with a sharp flick of a leg, Rainbow pointed down at the crumpled letter that had come with the box. “Wait for him to show up.”
Twilight paused, shook her head, and walked back to her reading desk without answering. “What?” Rainbow demanded. “We’re not even going to give that a try?”
“I’m certain we will try that, dear,” Rarity said slowly. “But I think what Twilight is trying to express is that... well.”
She glanced down at the note. “That whoever did this is someone we may not want to meet in person.”
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I like the way you write Fluttershy in this. She's the only one with empathy for Jargön and she's willing to stand up for her.
6373215
Thanks!
I too like Fluttershy in this. :)
And it is an interesting concept; I'm sorry that you couldn't get it to work.
6375883
SCP Foundation. Google it. And may you never sleep again
6378203
You know she can do things that aren't her specialty sometimes. Particularly if they're useful and solve all sorts of problems.
Poor Jargön
. I want one.
So what part of Twilight's research actually helped in building Jargön?
Yes, sirs. And you must be Robot 1 and Robot 2.
... Red Eye?
I'm thoroughly confused by this guy. The best I can come up with is that he's a robot from the future. Which is to say that I can't really come up with anything.
I wonder if Spike can see the screws.
Oh wow, she knows the whole factory process for making more of herself. That's pretty cool.
Oh, um... nevermind.
Maybe the shop can be driven into town, like that Flim Flam contraption?
Now there's a thing I never understood. Would she really be a victim if she were made in a factory? I'll grant that it is necessary to treat pony-like things as if they were ponies in order to lessen the problem of distinguishing conscious beings, but why should her desires, implanted or not, be treated with any less validity than everyone else's preconceptions of what her desires should be? Nothing terrible happened to her because there was no "her" before she became what she is now, and what she is now has always been fine with her initialization.
Now there's a thing I never understood. Must she have been a victim if she were brainwashed? I'll grant that defending the wills of the no-longer-existent is necessary for the long-term stability of a society, but why should it be fine for ponies to defend the wills imagined onto those that might have never had them? If she were trained from birth to serve and never knew otherwise, then I would need to get some sleep before finishing this paragraph.
Out of all the stories in this collection, i really hope you continue with this one! it's a fascinating story and i want to know how it goes!
Whoa, this is definitely one of the more interesting stories in here!
Ya... this was incredibly disturbing; from her leg disassembly to her only desire being to please Twilight and being hurt when Twi doesn't get it. Nice comedic timing as well, but I can see how the comedy might become stilted as the story progresses.
Well Done!