Princess Pile Drinking Games

by GaPJaxie

Skyrim

One year, I decided to give a few of my pony friends commissions as Christmas gifts. Cold in Gardez was among them, and for his, he requested a Skyrim crossover fic. I went through several versions of the story before finding one I was happy with. This early version had a lot of potential, but somehow I could just never make it click.

In Twilight Sparkle’s mind, the key to being immortal was keeping a positive outlook. The way she saw it, anypony who lived long enough would eventually experience loss. Sometimes it would be a be a big loss or even a tragedy, like Celestia having to banish her own sister, Luna returning to find everyone she’d loved a thousand years dead, or Twilight’s own past troubles. There would also be little things that came more regularly, like a sweet child growing up to be a selfish jerk, or beloved traditions fading away. As long as there was life, the trouble would always keep on coming, and Twilight knew that if she let her troubles pile up inside her, they’d pile up forever until she cracked. That’s why immortals had to be able to let things go—to let all that stress flow away.

Twilight was good at it, but she knew she’d always been lucky. Things just seemed to go her way, and even when she did encounter a problem, it always came with a silver lining. For instance, her house was quite small—that was frustrating. Yet, on the other hoof, it took no effort whatsoever to keep clean, which was convenient since Spike was long since grown up. Likewise, while there wasn’t very much light—Twilight’s view of the outside was blocked by thick layers of insulation—she wasn’t cold at all. Given the roar of the blizzard outside and the occasional muffled profanity from the Kahjiit, she had a feeling that put her in a lucky minority.

She was actually getting a little concerned about them. They had nice thick furs—on top of their fur even—and one of them was a mage who knew some fire magic, but they would hardly have been the first convoy to vanish without a trace in one of Skyrim’s blizzards. Twilight wished that they hadn’t come north, both because she was worried for the Kahjiit and because Elsweyr had been beautiful, but there was nothing she could do. Ahkari set their travel plans, and Twilight would simply have to trust her judgement. Or, as she would say, “trust Kahjiit’s judgement.” Twilight was still getting the hang of the merchant-Kajhiit’s distinctive speaking style.

Things continued in that vein for some time. Twilight wasn’t sure exactly how long; she got a bit lost in her own thoughts. Eventually though, the roar of the blizzard was split by another sound—a distant roar, so loud it could be clearly heard from what must have been thousands of feet away or more. The steady crunch of the Kahjiit’s feet on the snow stopped immediately, and while Twilight could see nothing, she could picture their ears rotating as their heads slowly turned left and right. The roar sounded again, closer this time.

“We must run,” hissed a male voice. He wasn’t whispering, but he might as well as been for how hard he was to hear over the blizzard. Twilight wasn’t sure which of the two guards it was, but she guessed it was Kharjo. He tended to enunciate more clearly.

“No,” Ahkari answered, a bit easier to hear. Her voice was quite deep by pony standards, and very scratchy, but Twilight thought she still sounded feminine. “If it has seen us, Khajiit would only die tired, and will not find the sled again if we abandon it in the snow. We are almost there. Keep going.”

The roar sounded for a third time, closer still, along with some sort of rushing sound, but the Khajiit footsteps resumed their regular pace. Twilight spent the next several minutes on edge, waiting for the sound of the roar to materialize in a cloud of snow and fire. But it never did, and soon, the thick crunch of boots in the snow started to fade, giving way to lighter footsteps. The sound of the blizzard faded as though into a distance, and the formerly silent sled became audible as the screech of sled runners being dragged over a rough surface. The sounds took on a cavernous quality, and seemed to grow louder, though Twilight suspected that was just from the lack of background noise.

“Warm sands and friendly faces,” Ahkari called out suddenly. Her voice echoed deeply, and Twilight realized she was at least several yards away. Walking ahead of the wagon, perhaps. The distinctive roar of a fire spells carried through the air, but none of the guards shouted in alarm or pain. Twilight even thought she heard a few of them say mutter positive-sounding things in Ta’gara, but the words were too muffled to make out clearly.

“Such as it is,” said a man whose voice Twilight did not recognize. He was speaking loudly and clearly enough she could hear him, and his tone was civil. “A pleasure to see you again, Ahkari.”

“And you as well, my friend,” Ahkari answered. “Kahjiit feared they would not make your acquaintance again.”

“You’re free to stay here until the storm passes. It is sheltered and well ventilated,” answered the male voice. Twilight strained to listen, but could pick up few details. The speaker’s tone was still civil—polite would be a better way to put it—but Twilight doubted there was any real warmth between him and Ahkari. “I should be on my way though. They’ll miss me in Winterhold.”

“It is a brave man who will step outside tonight, but this one understands the need for discretion.” Twilight heard the Kajhiit moving, along with metal clinking and a few quiet words of Ta’gara. Then there was a loud snapping, a scraping, and the ring of metal hitting stone. Someone grunted, a latch clicked, and hinges let out an unsteady squeak. Light flooded into Twilight’s home as the lid of the trunk slid open and gave her windows a clear view of the outside world.

The trunk was turned to the side relative to the sled, and so it’s lid cut off Twilight’s view of half the room. She could not see the new male speaker, but she could see a lot besides. They were in a small cave of some sort, with the sled backed up in the entrance along with a great deal of snow. A fire burned in the center of the room, and most of the Khajiit were gathered around it, warming themselves and looking absolutely miserable. Khajiit were normally quite graceful—cats that walked like men, with a smoothless and balance to their motions. Now though, they looked less like proud lions and tigers and more like bedraggled housecats. They were wrapped up in the thickest furs but still shivered, their clothes, faces, and tails all caked with frost. Twilight hoped they were okay.

“Here,” Ahkari said, stepping around to the mouth of the trunk so Twilight could see her head on. She looked much like the other Khajiit, her normally silky black fur now wild and spotted with white. She had more dignity though, and though her hands shivered as she reached down into the trunk, she didn’t let her misery show on her face. She didn’t reach for Twilight’s home, but for one of the black soul gems beside it. Twilight had to share a ride with twelve of the things, but she didn’t mind. Ahkari lifted the gem out of the crate, handing it to someone on the other side of the trunk lid.

A long silence followed that, and no matter how hard Twilight tried, she couldn't make out any sound but the crackle of the fire and the distant roar of the blizzard. She considered speaking up, but Ahkari had made it clear she was not to talk unless presented, and Twilight could be patient. Perhaps two minutes later, the heard the male voice speak again. “Yes, the quality is fair. Let me see the next one.” The man and Ahkari traded crystals, and he likewise approved of the new gem, this time after only about thirty seconds. The unknown figure and the merchant repeated this process until he had inspected all the gems, and let out an approving grunt. “I will pay you the usual three-hundred each. But what about the Star?”

“It is here,” said Ahkari. “The brightest star as black as the night. Ahkari was pleased to be able to procure such a rare item.” Ahkari’s gloved hand settled around Twilight’s home, and the trunk seemed to fall away around her. Lifted above the lid, Twilight could see the cave more clearly, as well as the man they were here to meet.

He was a high-elf, perhaps somewhere in his early thirties, though with elves it was very hard to tell. Like many elves, his hair was a pale white, and his eyes were an off-yellow that wasn’t quite golden. Combined with his thin features and high cheekbones, it created a face that could be read as either magical and aristocratic or supernatural and menacing, depending on the mood of the viewer. He was wearing a black cloak and hood that looked a bit like a necromancers garb, but modified against the cold with a thick lining and fur about the cuffs and neck. He didn’t look very friendly, but Ahkari obviously thought he was trustworthy, and she was an excellent judge of character.

“Hello!” Twilight said, careful to be extra friendly so as to make a good first impression. “I’m Twilight Sparkle. What’s your name?”

The man stepped back sharply, narrowing his eyes at Twilight and then giving Ahkari a similar look. “It talks?” he asked, the frown on his face matching the obvious displeasure in his voice.

“I sure do! But uh... just for the record, I’m a ‘she’ not an ‘it.’” Twilight corrected him. “It’s okay though. You would not believe how many people make that mistake.”

“Is it not supposed to talk?” Ahkari asked slowly, a frown appearing on her own features as well. “Your description was quite specific—that the Star was home to a wicked spirit that whispered to those who held it.”

“The whispering would be mental. Magical. The Star can’t actually talk. And the spirit inside it is male.” The man set his jaw to one side. “Let me see it.”

Ahkari handed the man Twilight’s home, and he proceeded to turn it over carefully in his hands, examining it in great detail. “Uh... excuse me. I don’t mean to be rude, but you’re getting your fingerprints all over my windows,” Twilight said, and she was gratified to see the man pull a cloth out of his pocket to hold her house with, carefully wiping away the marks he had already made. “Thank you! Sorry to be fussy, but they’re just really hard to clean from in here.”

The man didn’t answer, nor did his frown lighten as he turned Twilight’s home over in his hands. “It matches your description exactly,” Ahkari said, now with a defensive touch to her words. “A black soul gem of uncommon power, possessed by a strange spirit, mounted on a golden base that forms the shape of a star.”

“It does match my description exactly,” the man agreed. He paused for a long time as he examined Twilight’s home even closer. “But this is not the Black Star. The Black Star’s base has arms—curled formations behind it that form the shape as a part of the item. Like a starfish. This base is sharp edged, and I think it’s purely decorative.”

“It’s my cutie mark,” Twilight explained. “You don’t know what cutie marks are, but basically, it’s a way of showing who lives here. Because I live here! Okay?”

The man and Ahkari alike gave Twilight a funny look at that, which she found difficult to read. Then they looked at each other again. “It’s not what I wanted, but it is obviously an interesting artifact,” the man said. “I’ll pay you a thousand for it, and buy another ten black soul gems next month.”

“Oh, am I being sold?” Twilight asked. “Is that why we came all the way up here?”

“It meets your description exactly.” Ahkari shook her head, her tail twitching sharply behind her. “Khajiit will take the two thousand you promised, and will not be returning next month.”

The man’s frown intensified, matched by furrows around his eyes. He glanced briefly at Twilight, but his full attention was clearly on Ahkari. “If I’ve offended you—”

“This one is not offended by a little haggling.” Ahkari shook her head. “But Ahkari will be returning to Elsweyr soon, and has no other convoy to take Ahkari’s place.”

“Oh that’s nice,” Twilight said. “I know you hate the cold. And Jo’pi will be so happy to see you again.”

The man didn’t answer right away, working his jaw as he thought. When he finally did speak, it was slowly, with words he’d obviously carefully considered. “Ri’saad assured me you’d be in business here at least until the end of winter.”

“Ri’saad is dead,” Ahkari said bluntly, shaking her head. “He was outside Whiterun when it burned. Ahkari is caravan master now, and Ahkari does not think this winter will have an end.”

“Oh! Ri’saad is dead?” Twilight asked, sympathy running through her words. “That’s awful. He was so nice. I’m sorry, Ahkari.”

Again, the man looked briefly at Twilight before returning his gaze to the caravan master, and again he spoke slowly and carefully. “The college has more money if that will keep a vital supply route open.”

“Khajiit must live to spend their money,” Ahkari answered, “and even if that were not so, can the college alone justify the trip? What few customers are not dead do not have the money to buy. The college is a good customer, and you as well, friend, but you are the only good customer left.” The man didn’t answer right away, staring blankly down at the trunk. “This one hopes that perhaps you will leave soon too.”

The stared at the trunk and at Twilight for several long moments more. He did not meet Ahkari’s gaze when he spoke. “Very well. I will pay full price for the artifact.” He handed Twilight’s home back to Ahkari. “Pack it up with the others.”

Ahkari took Twilight’s home, placing it down in the straw with the black souls gems. “Hey, Ahkari?” Twilight asked. “I just wanted to say, it was really great traveling with you. I’m sorry that Skyrim didn’t work out, but I know you’ll just do great back in—”

The top of the trunk shut, and Twilight’s house was dark again.

---

After that, Twilight was alone for awhile, but that was okay. It was frustrating, yes, but she needed some time alone to work through things. That was her good luck again—that silver lining. She made good use of her time alone and worked through some feelings. It was good to get stuff off her back.

Abruptly, Twilight heard the latch click, and just as suddenly the lid of the trunk opened. She saw the man from the cave there, though he’d removed his heavier furs. He was looking down at her with a narrow expression, his mouth drawn into a thin line. Twilight thought he looked stressed, so she did her best to cheer him up.

“Hello!” she said brightly. “It’s nice to meet you again. How are you doing today?”

“Not great,” the man answered. “Your screaming is keeping me awake.”

“Oh, hah. I’m sorry.” Twilight couldn't show much expression, so she was always careful to be extra expressive with her voice, exaggerating her tone so it was easy to read. In this case, exaggerated embarrassment, complete with little pauses for emphasis. “I was just talking to myself, and you know, you’re alone in a quiet space and lose track of how loud your voice has gotten. I really didn’t mean to keep you up.”

The man said nothing, but when Twilight heard the hinges of the chest squeak she quickly blurted out: “I bet I’d be quieter if I was out of the box. You know. Better acoustics. I promise, I uh... I won’t bother you.”

The man bit his lip as he considered Twilight, then reached down and, with a bit of cloth, picked up Twilight’s home. Elevated thus, she had a great view of the room they were in, and was pleasantly surprised by what she found. Bookshelves surrounded her—so many she first thought she was in a library. But then she noticed the bed, and the small dining table, and realized these were the quarters of a scholarly mage. Quite a powerful mage from how lavish the room was. It had two stories and was roughly circular, centered around a small garden in the middle lit by three mage lights, and the walls hung with noble banners, enchanted items, and powerful relics of the ancient past.

Twilight had plenty of time to soak it all in as the man carried her to the window, putting her house to rest on the sill. Through her windows, she could peer through his window, and look out onto the outside. There she saw the courtyard of some big, blocky stone building—not a castle but something like it. The courtyard was also circular in shape, and it was currently crowded with tents and miserable looking people. The people, the building, and the tents were all covered in snow, and it was still coming down.

“Well?” the man asked, and Twilight realized he was looking at her—furrowing that elven forehead of his.

“Oh, yes. Much better,” Twilight said. “Thank you, sir. You have a lovely view.”

The man grunted noncommittally, and returned to the room. He sat on the edge of the bed for awhile, the tangled sheets indicating that he’d been asleep prior to that point. He spent several minutes like that, alternately looking at his desks and staring off into space. Then, in the distance, a roar echoed—the same roar Twilight had heard before. It was far away, but it could still be heard clearly through the storm. The sound set off a minor panic in the courtyard as people rushed for cover behind pillars and under archways, but the man only looked at the window. After a few seconds, he rose from the bed and walked over to one of his desks—an enchanting table.

“Do you mind if I ask where we are?” Twilight asked, a question which—in her mind—was distinct from actually asking where they were. It was more polite.

“The Mage’s College at Winterhold,” the man answered. He knelt on the floor, and Twilight watched as he removed a stone from the floor, revealing a hidden space. From within, he drew a black soul gem. Unlike the ones that had shared a trunk with Twilight, this new gem glowed indicating that it held the soul of some unlucky mortal. The man returned the stone to its place, and then picked up an axe that was leaning against the enchanting bench. From the look of it, he was just putting the final details on some powerful arcane weapon.

“That’s fascinating! I’ve always wanted to study Tamrielian magic. I’m a wizard too, but from a very different tradition,” Twilight said, again with a cheerful kick to clearly show her mood. “I attended Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. You’ve probably never heard of it.”

The man did not answer, which Twilight took as confirmation that he had not heard of it. He was focused on his work, grasping the black soul gem in one hand as his other held an engraving tool. The tool’s long, sharp metal point etched thin lines on the axe, and as it did, the light in the black soul gem faded away. “So!” Twilight said. “These quarters are nice. Are you a teacher here?”

“I am the archmage of the school,” the man answered, without looking up.

“Well, that’s very impressive! Should I call you ‘Archmage’ then?” Twilight asked. The man shrugged. “Well then, sir, do you mind if I ask who all those people in the courtyard are?”

“That’s the town of Winterhold,” the archmage answered. “Or what’s left of it.”

“Oh.” Twilight paused. “Is that where you find souls to fill up all those gems?”

That got the man’s attention, and he turned to glare at Twilight. “No,” he said, returning to his work after a moment. “The townsfolk are here to protect them. The gems I have now are filled by bandits. And a giant.”

“And now you’re making them into an axe,” Twilight said. The man nodded. “Am I going to be made into an axe?”

“I haven’t decided,” the man said. “Your soul is very unusual, and it has an uncommon amount of power.”

“That’s because I’m not human. I’m a pony—a unicorn, to be specific,” Twilight said. She liked teaching. “Well, sortof. I started as a unicorn, then I ascended and was crowned a princess, which enhanced my natural magic. Pony princesses are called alicorns, and they’re actually naturally immortal! Or, well, ever-youthful, which isn’t quite the same thing as immortal.” She sighed theatrically. “The things you learn the hard way.”

The man nodded. He was focused on his work, and didn’t answer right away, but to Twilight’s surprise he spoke before she did. “I didn’t think unicorns were real.”

“Well, we certainly were real. I’m not certain we are real, if you follow. I haven’t seen another unicorn in... hoo.” Twilight considered. “Ages now. Not since the Ardad Republic, and even then, they were a rarity. First Speaker Morton had a pony couple as his honored guests—a unicorn and a pegasus.”

“I’ve never heard of this ‘Ardad Republic,’” the archmage said.

“Oh, uh...” Twilight paused while she thought. “It was a nation of minotaurs. Collapsed in its 877th year after a combination of wheat blight and drought caused massive crop failures and starvation. It was nearly a hundred years before one of the warlords was able to restore order to the region and establish a dynasty. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Kingdom of Porphyria?”

“No,” the archmage said. “And I didn’t think Minotaurs were real either.”

“Well they... probably aren’t,” Twilight said slowly. “The Kingdom of Porphyria was conquered by vampires who didn’t have much interest in the population aside from food. It took them less than two hundred years to completely depopulate the region and resettle it with slaves. Perhaps you’ve heard of Diamond Dogs? They’re beastfolk, like the Khajiit? And I saw humans not long after that. The Atmorians?”

The man paused. “Yes, I’ve heard of them,” he says. “According to history, the Atmorians were the first race of men, who came to Tamriel during the First Era.”

“Right!” Twilight said, downright gleeful now that she’d found a connection. “Right. I remember that. Back then, I was living with this nice old wizard. When the Atmor conquered and slew the vampires, he found me, and asked me all sorts of questions about history.” She let out a happy sigh at a fond memory. “That was weather got awful. See—I’m from a part of Atmor that used to be called Equestria, and there, ponies were responsible for maintaining harmony with nature. The minotaurs did a pretty okay job after we were gone, sure, but all of that was lost when they were conquered, and after that it was straight downhill. Humans never did get the hang of it.” The man shrugged. “So, do you know anyone from Atmor?”

“The continent is uninhabited, even by animals” the man said. “Lifeless. It’s so cold your spit freezes before it hits the ground, and the sun does not shine for months on end.”

“Woah!” Twilight said. “When did that happen?”

“A little over two thousand years ago. Historians aren’t sure exactly when,” the man said. He lifted his eyes from his work and looked at Twilight, but of course he couldn’t see her reaction. Her windows were one-way like that, which was awesome, but did sometimes frustrate her slightly.

“Oh,” Twilight said. A long silence followed that, and with a casual cheer, she added, “I guess I lost track of time. You know how it is.”

The man peered more closely at Twilight’s home, and then shrugged. He returned to his engraving, and the next several minutes passed in silence. Twilight didn’t feel like talking just then, and so she returned to looking out the window. Down in the courtyard, she could see the people struggling to shovel snow out past the edge of the building. Twilight was pretty sure the building was on a cliff above the sea, and when she peered out into the distance, she thought she could see a town nearby. When she looked more closely though, she saw it wasn’t a town—just exposed timbers and skeletons.

“So what happened?” the archmage asked. His expression was hard to read, but Twilight saw traces of curiosity. Something else too—a weariness about the eyes. “To... what did you call it? Equestria?”

“We were conquered by a race known at Changelings,” Twilight said. “Parasitic insectoid shapeshifters. We’d defeated them once before, when they tried to conquer Canterlot during my brother’s wedding. But they returned a few years later and... well.” She paused. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s alright,” the man said. “How did you end up in a black soul gem?”

“Queen Chrysalis wanted to steal my power for herself, so she prepared a crystal that would drain the life energy from an injured pony. I’d never heard the name ‘Black Soul Gem’ before then, so I think I might have been the first. She was surprised that I was still conscious...” Twilight trailed off. “She liked that. She kept me in the war room so I could watch as her hive conquered the rest of Equestria.”

“Did that work?” the man asked. “Did the gem let her steal your power?”

“Why?” Twilight demanded, a flash of anger running through her words. “So you can steal it for yourself? Is that why you bought me?”

“Yes,” the man answered. “The college is besieged. I need all the power I can get just to keep it safe, and sometimes that means doing things that... I’m not proud of.” The man paused in his work and lifted his hand to his face, running it over his mouth and chin like a human man might stroke his beard. Of course, there was no hair there on an elf, and Twilight suddenly wondered if he’d picked up the gesture in human lands. “Having access to the magic of an ancient wizard could save many lives.”

Comments

[lazyreader19]

Whoa, this needs to be a series. Or if it is,I need to be linked to it posthaste! I've only ever watched my friend play skyrim a little, and yet this was surprisingly easy to get into!

[howard035]

Quite awesome, Twimanimarco.

[Themaskedferret]

5563871 This might fit you.

[Joural]

... you should try this out again some time. I really enjoyed reading this, and the concepts behind it are fascinating.