Princess Pile Drinking Games

by GaPJaxie

Double Take, Changeling for Hire pt 2

There’s a crowd watching as I levitate up the sign and nail it to the spot behind the door. It’s not a large crowd, maybe ten ponies, but word will get around quickly. That’s intentional. I’m in my natural form—wings and chiten and frill and all—which is always an attention getter. Ponies may have accepted that I exist, but that doesn't mean they’re used to seeing a giant bug walking around town. I could have done this in any number of other shapes that the ponies around town know are me, but right now, I want the attention. I can’t have a business without customers after all.

The sign is nice: wooden, gold lettering, very respectable. I managed to swing a little storefront in the middle of Ponyville, sharing a building with the town farrier. His sign is on the other side of the door. I could have gotten my own building further out if I really wanted, but this is better twice over. This way, it’s easy for ponies to discreetly stop by. Everypony needs their hooves cared for, after all.

It takes five good whacks of the hammer to drive in the first nail, and another three for the second. I turn back to look at the crowd, but nopony seems ready to approach. There’s not much I can say to them right now that will help, but going inside without acknowledging them would be anti-social, so I give the crowd a quick scan. No, no, no, no, no... ah. Yes. Apple Bloom and her tagalongs are in the crowd, only half paying attention. Looks like they herded up because they saw a crowd forming, but are paying more attention to each other than me. Perfect.

I wait until they’re good and distracted, then raise a hoof to my face to signal silence. The vents under my wings slide open, and in a flash of green light, I’ve transformed into Cherilee—the foals teacher. I make a big, dramatic show of tiphoofing up to them, and a few ponies in the crowd giggle, silently cheering me on until I’m right on top of the three.

“Apple Bloom!” I snap, in a properly cross voice. All three of them spaz out at once, whirling around to face me. Dang, what were her friends’ names? The unicorn and the runt. No matter. “All three of you. Precisely what are you doing out of school at this hour?”

“Ms. Cheerilee!” the unicorn squeaks, her voice actually cracking in fright. “We uh... we were about to get some icecream in town and—”

“Wait a second,” Apple Bloom says, suddenly. “It’s Saturday.”

“Of course it’s Saturday,” I reply, without breaking cadence, “When else would we hold Cutie Mark class? You know you have your regular lessons during the week.”

“Cutie mark... class?” the runt asks, perking up her ears as she sinks into thought. “I’ve never heard of that.”

“You’ve never heard of that?” I ask, with just the right mix of concern and disbelief. “Didn’t your parents sign the permission slip? How else do they expect you to get your cutie marks?”

“They said it would just happen on its own!” Sweetie Belle squeaks, now with mounting worry. It’s easy for me to play into it, pausing and shifting my expression down and giving a little tsk of concern. “Oh no. We could be missing how to get our cutie marks right now!”

“It’s okay girls, there’s still time,” I say, leaning in and adding a little kick of enthusiasm, more for the crowd than for them. “Run home and tell your family you want to go to school every Saturday! Hurry!”

“Right!” the runt says, pointing back towards the path out of town. “Come on girls! If we hurry, we can still... wait a second.”

By now, the giggling of the crowd has become more noticeable, and the three girls are starting to clue in that there’s something they’re missing. They haven’t quite figured it out yet, but they can see all the other ponies pointing and smirking, and some instinctive part of their brain is warning them all is not right. I think I could turn it around but, whatever, mission accomplished, so I grin and giggle along with the rest of them in what I’m pretty sure is a very un-Cherilee like way.

“Wait, but that...” Apple Bloom says, still in a daze. Then she spots the sign and puts it all together, and her confused stare turns into an irritated grimace. “Very funny, Double.”

“Aww, I’m sorry, Apple Bloom,” I say, tilting my head and folding back my ears a bit. “I was just trying to poke a little fun. I didn’t mean to upset you. Here.” In a flash of green, I transform back into my regular self, and once I have the use of my horn again, call over the bag I left over by the door. It still has my hammer inside, but it also has a collection of what I think of as props. Little things that come in handy during a disguise. In this case, my prop of choice is a trio of wooden nickels, each redeemable for one ice cream float down at the malt shop.

“You said you were getting ice cream, right?” I ask, the sound emerging from my buzzing wings. “Go have fun.”

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom says, all three of them giving me a wary look. After a moment she adds, “Thanks,” taking the nickels in her teeth and heading off. I give them a wave as they head off, and nod to the crowd, but my social obligations are fulfilled, so I don’t waste any more time before heading inside. There’s a little hallway beyond the entrance, with two doors on either side. Iron Shod on the left, and Double Take on the right.

There’s not much to this space I’ve rented. Just a little office with a desk, a couch, and a back room. I think I might put a bed back there, but not just yet. The whole space is still pretty dusty, so I drop my bags and hammer in the corner, and pick up the broom. I could have done all this before, but I doubt I’ll get any customers in the first day or two.

That’s how I spend the rest of the afternoon—dusting, cleaning, and trying to ignore the empty feeling in my midgut. I spent all morning being a sensitive coltfriend to Bottlecap while she yammered on about her dreams of opening Equestria’s first trivial junk museum, so I haven't been going hungry all day. But, there’s only so much love a changeling can take from one pony before they start to turn noticeably sick, and it’s something less than what I need to live. If I was still undercover, I’d just turn into somepony who was out of town and give their spouse a wonderful evening, but no way am I getting away with that now. Twilight and Co watch me way too closely for that.

Speak of the pony.

I know it’s Twilight before the door even opens—the pitter-patter of her little assistant gives her away. Dragons and changelings actually get along pretty well in general, but Twilight doesn’t let me near him. Apparently she’s worried I’m a corruptive influence, go figure. I hear her telling him to wait outside, and then the little bell above the door goes ding-a-ling-a-ling as she pushes it open.

“Good morning, Twilight,” I buzz, not interrupting my sweeping. She’s a workaholic, so she respects working creatures more. It’s an empathy thing. “Good to see you again.”

“Well, I can’t really say the same,” she replies, letting out a snort and trying to sound angry. She can’t manage it though, not really. Ponies are just too nice to get really good and angry. “Why didn’t you let me know about this in advance?” Oh, sure, she’s annoyed with me—very annoyed even—but I’m not really afraid of her, even though she could send me to the moon with one word to the Princess.

“I wasn’t aware I needed too,” I say, pausing to put the broom away. I do give her my full attention, just to be polite, but I look at her chest and not at her face. She finds changeling eyes unsettling. “It’s not that much of a change. I only moved up the street. I’m sorry if it’s caused you any distress.”

“No you’re not,” she snaps. I don’t respond though. That was a flash of anger, and ponies don’t take well to that, particularly Twilight Sparkle. I just stand there in silence, and let her stew, until finally she lets out a hiss of breath through her teeth. “Sorry.”

“It’s quite alright,” I say. “But, is there a problem? I really didn’t think it was much of a change. I already do impressions, volunteer at the theater, and I made a very menacing Nightmare Moon if I’m not being too humble.”

“And ‘Private Sessions’?” Twilight demands.

“On request,” I reply, evenly. It’s tempting to try to ward off the accusation, but the key here? She hasn’t actually accused me of anything yet. It’s an old trick—make slightly menacing statements and wait for the other changeling to tell you what the did. Oh, sure, in theory she doesn’t need to accuse me of anything—she could banish me just because she doesn’t like me. But, she won’t. It’s not in her character.

“And what does a private session consist of, exactly?” Twilight asks. Well, it’s still in development, but basically, I’m hoping to get paid by the hour to manipulate ponies emotions and suck out their love. That’s pretty much my dream job right there. Oh, and if they could spill critical military secrets in the process, that’d be peachy. Of course, I don’t say that.

“It consists of whatever you want it to consist of,” I answer. “Maybe there’s somepony famous you always wanted to meet. Maybe there’s somepony who intimidates you, and you’d like to spend more time around them until you feel comfortable. Maybe there’s somepony who won’t give you the time of day but you always wanted to relax with them.” Or bend them over the couch. “That sort of thing.”

“But they won’t actually be meeting that pony,” she insists. “It’s not real. It’s just a fantasy.”

“And is there something wrong with fantasy?” I ask. These word games between us can last a goodly while, but I’m not seriously worried about the outcome. I was when I first moved to Ponyville, sure, but if Twilight was going to banish me on baseless suspicion, she’d have done it by now. I think she even likes these little verbal sparring matches.

This chapter was never finished. I decided I should get an idea of what a typical private session looked like first, and when I actually wrote it, Double Take started to feel really similar to some of my other characters. The private session is up as Pt 3.

Comments

[howard035]

I wish cutie mark class was actually a thing, and the CMC get their permission slips in the mail two years late.

[lazyreader19]

That Cherilee impression was pretty hilarious. And similar to other characters or not, I really wish I could get more of this guy(or girl? Changelings seem pretty genderfluid by nature and this has seemed mostly first person so I may have missed an errant "he" or "she")

[Themaskedferret]

It's interesting to see the ponies from this POV and this guy definitely has a lot more going on than he shows. I find it slightly confusing to follow that he seems to have these flashes of showing the deeper plan and then covering it up though, so I dunno if I'd enjoy this.

[Vertigo One]

I really enjoyed watching Double Take interact with ponies and explain the analysis and reasons behind doing so. I really got into the example of a "word game" between Double Take and Twilight Sparkle to the point where I felt disappointed when the text suddenly stopped. I was having fun and was engaged with and interested in what was transpiring. Thank you for sharing this.

[DanaO]

...Yeah. Thought I saw where you were coming from the last chapter, sure of it now. Double Take is useful as a character, but only to the extent you've got something about other Ponyville residents to say. He hasn't got enough going on otherwise to stand out. Same regular self-assurance he's a clever fellow who only pretends to have a regular life as part of a grand plan which will serve his monarch and in the distant future kick off his real life. Same extremist approach to social compartmentalization that depends on either only caring about how one target views you or moving on before too many parties compare notes (organizing by mini-scene and actor roles is different, but it's still all about the quick and reliable ways to get a predictable immediate emotional response). Same adolescent delusion of invincibility and confusion of success with lack of awareness. He'd wear sunglasses at night so nobody could see his eyes (I'll admit to that exact vanity as a teenager) with the conviction of perfect night vision (likewise - mine was good, but not that good, not really).

You might elsewise inject more into this storyline by pushing him into contact with the scouts who are less ambitious, doing a better job of long-term cultivation, and whose covers are entering danger zones (to drag him in regardless of his lack of sympathy for them), but again that's about writing the other characters.