A Boy and his Box

by Jake Witt

Lyra be like... / Mission Quest!

Author's Note:

Warning, this chapter may suck.

Sorry this took a while. I'm practicing my writing skills on another fic. Expect better chapters later.

OK. OK. She didn't pull a knife on me and my blood family is in another world (besides Box though his blood is in me. or is it? cloning and multiple deaths make you question things.)

"Lego~!" came a feminine voice on the ground. Waaay on the ground, like in my room. Oh crap my room!

You're probably lost. Close your eyes and picture a place near my room that not my room. If you guessed sharpening my weapons... I wish. I'm pumping weights! If the weights are replacing my pink girly kitchen back to my blocky white one with the best refrigerator... ever! I don't run out of food!

Wait where was I? Oh yeah. Lyra. Loco with my Coco about hands. Creepy big eyes every morning. Pony in almost human form. In my room. If she tries to clean it, I swear... But how do I handle this?

I did my battle cry while running nonstop.

"Where are you going?!" shouted a following Box in his unicorn form, his majestic flame mane flowing behind him as he ran.

"To Canterlot! I hear they have cake and no Lyra there!" I replied, instantly shoving a potato in my mouth as I ran. What? If you had food powered stamina and a body that can't create waste you too would sprint to places.
"But she's touching your legos!"

"They hurt my feet."
"She's sniffing your bed!"

"Clean sheets! Anything else?"
"She's playing on your XBon 360!"

I stopped and held him like Simba as I moved him to my face, "You go enjoy another hell and back mission without me..."

---

I finally reached the library with Lyra on my back as she tried the '-inth time' to go home.

From nearby Spike greeted me, "Lego, welcome back!"

"Likewise Spike. Is there any missions for me?"

"Twilight! Chalk one up, he asked!" Spike called to the stairs. From there a purple pony princess entered the room with a chalk board with some boxes and tally marks strewn around within the boxes.

Box- Special Ops. Co-Mission Leader. 2
Twilight Sparkle- Co-Mission Leader. Backup leader. Backup. 151
Spike- Assistant. 11
Discord and Pinkie- Fortune Tellers. 151
Jake "Lego Craft"- Special Ops. Back up's Back up 1
Princessess- 60

Twilight looked at the board and to Spike, "Before I do that, what did he do?"

"He asked if there was any missions for him so I called you. I get a point right?" the drake asked reaching for the piece of chalk Twilight hovered away from him.

"Did you check the mission folders?"

"What mission folders? Like the ones cleaned out like Box as if its a grocery store during an apocalypses?" he said pointing to the kitchen, "Like he's been doing everyday?"

I decided to join the conversation before I got lost, "What's the board and what about cleaned out folder?"
"...You're not going to like this..." Lyra whispered in my ear... not creepy at all.

Twilight looked to me with a wind flowing her mane from out of nowhere, "You mean you don't know? Hey, where's this wing coming from?"

"Wind magic, genius. Your horn's glow grew a bit. May I repeat my question?"

The drake and alicorn (want to call it a pegacorn sooo bad) looked at each other before Spike responded, "They're mission tallies. If you help in any way," he stopped and turned to Twilight, "That reminds me, should we count the Swamp Fire encounter? I mean, creepers used to be described as plant demonds..."

"Normally that wouldn't count, but stalling Sam revealed the location of a ghost... sure add it. Also the tallies are a mission related point system- Wait. We forgot to count Freddy Fazbear, tally two Spike," Twilight motioned to the board, "You really need to do more missions."

It took a bit of processing before I could think. "Box needs to stop hogging the missions! My baby can do anything!"

I looked up to Lyra, somehow still not buckling from her weight on me, and replied, "Baby? If you're going to nickname me, try something else. Like bae 'before anypony else' or yolo. Not YOLO as in 'you only live once', but yolo as in 'you only love once'... or something!"

"Sooo.... Boo Bear?"
"That's taken," I said holding up a notebook with names Sweetie has given Button. What? Even in gaming, anger makes you stupid. "And besides, how am I supposed to gain mission when Box distracts me or goes overboard with 'first come first served' shtick?!"

Twilight pondered on that before the stated unsure, "Come here earlier?"

Spike gave a 'seriously?' look to Twilight asking, "Do you want Lego breaking our things?!" he then waved his claw around while continuing... oh he's one of them, "Box enters the library when we're closed at midnight hours and takes the missions, leaving as fast and quietly as he entered!"

"And you know this how?" Twilight asked.

"Either he wakes me up or he arrives as soon as I grab a small snack... usually an emerald from him. From there I tell him what he needs to know about the missions."

Before a word could be said, a loud metallic wheezing noise made itself known. That thing reminds me of the TARDIS so much, I'm calling it the TuRDIS. The owner of the porta potty burst through the door, "What's the time?"

Twilight rolled her eyes, "According to my new Earth calender: Feb. 26 Tues. 2015."

"Expect me fourty times this week," he said, hoofing a brown folder with an hourglass. "My poor baby is sick, leaving the controls wibley wobley."

I pointed my free hand's finger, "Wibley-Wobley Timey-Wimey!"

"Oh Faust, not you too!" he clapped his hooves together, "Before I forget: The war of understanding is canceled, not that you would be ready in time!" He ran out, tapping his hoof on the top of the door frame.

Spike pointed at the folder in my hand, "Looks like you have a time mission!" Twilight turned and trotted out, mumbling about 'paradox mission' or something. That is when I opened it.

Don't blink. Whatever you do, don't blink. They are faster that believeable.
Box thinks his herd of missions aren't all connected. A little bit of resue and clue gathering? They're leaving clues behind and using our friend as safe transport. How do you recognize something at top speeds?
I need you to meet up with a friend of mine. You will know its him, if he responds to "Dork!" Here are the coordinates. Good luck.

---

I hid behind a boulder on a rocky mountain. I have no idea if I'm still in Equestria or not, though my objective is clear. I inhale until my lung can inhale no more, calling out, "NEERRD! OH! I MEANT DORK!!"

"OI, Its not Dork its Doc!" replied the worst british accent I've ever heard. I followed the voice, meeting an interesting friend.

This guy looked like Matt Smith with an outfit that would be described as 10 and 11 Doctors's style merged. His head jerked up as a gold light turned him into David Tennant. What was interesting was that his voice stayed the same and his head was buzzed no matter which face he had. He pockets his bow tie and clips on a long tie. "God, I hate bow ties. Hello, my name is Dan, but I'd rather be named Doc."

---

Long story short, me and Doc did a little hiking around until we found a village full of Pegasus statues. Before I could blink, Doc took out his sonic wand. Using said wand he used magic sound waves that resembled jazz to denigrate the statues to dust.

"That was close," he said, turning back to Matt and switching ties. "I really hate that tie. Word of advise, wear a bow tie if you wear something formal." We traveled the town, running into angel statues.

What was interesting was the three angels at the Stonebucks teleported at my face, just as my swords spawned in my hands. I blinked again as two of them were on the ground while the third was weeping. "Weird." I muttered, walking away. These things seemed to move every time I blink, making my constant blinking my weakness. Doc was busy turning statues to ash while I cycled through tools, either killing or injuring statues on accident.

My best kill was an angel with an iPod. As I walked away, listening to Rolling Stones, we neared a jail and inside Box was chained up.

He looked to us, "How did you get here?!"

I laughed at him, "A time traveler gave me a mission. You are welcome." I released my pony, placing a command block as we teleported with Doc back to Ponyville.